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Title: To the Person Sitting in Darkness

Author: Mark Twain

Release date: July 13, 2020 [eBook #62636]
Most recently updated: October 18, 2024

Language: English

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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TO THE
PERSON SITTING IN DARKNESS ***

TO THE PERSON SITTING IN
DARKNESS

BY

MARK TWAIN
REPRINTED BY PERMISSION FROM THE NORTH AMERICAN
REVIEW, FEBRUARY, 1901

TO THE PERSON SITTING IN DARKNESS.

BY MARK TWAIN.

Extending the Blessings of Civilization to our Brother who Sits in
Darkness has been a good trade and has paid well, on the whole; and there
is money in it yet, if carefully worked—but not enough, in my judgment, to
make any considerable risk advisable. The People that Sit in Darkness are
getting to be too scarce—too scarce and too shy. And such darkness as is
now left is really of but an indifferent quality, and not dark enough for the
game. The most of those People that Sit in Darkness have been furnished
with more light than was good for them or profitable for us. We have been
injudicious.
The Blessings-of-Civilization Trust, wisely and cautiously
administered, is a Daisy. There is more money in it, more territory, more
sovereignty and other kinds of emolument, than there is in any other game
that is played. But Christendom has been playing it badly of late years, and
must certainly suffer by it, in my opinion. She has been so eager to get
every stake that appeared on the green cloth, that the People who Sit in
Darkness have noticed it—they have noticed it, and have begun to show
alarm. They have become suspicious of the Blessings of Civilization. More
—they have begun to examine them. This is not well. The Blessings of
Civilization are all right, and a good commercial property; there could not
be a better, in a dim light. In the right kind of a light, and at a proper
distance, with the goods a little out of focus, they furnish this desirable
exhibit to the Gentlemen who Sit in Darkness:
LOVE, JUSTICE, GENTLENESS, CHRISTIANITY, PROTECTION
TO THE WEAK, TEMPERANCE, LAW AND ORDER, LIBERTY,
EQUALITY, HONORABLE DEALING, MERCY, EDUCATION,

—and so on.
There. Is it good? Sir, it is pie. It will bring into camp any idiot that sits
in darkness anywhere. But not if we adulterate it. It is proper to be emphatic
upon that point. This brand is strictly for Export—apparently. Apparently.
Privately and confidentially, it is nothing of the kind. Privately and
confidentially, it is merely an outside cover, gay and pretty and attractive,
displaying the special patterns of our Civilization which we reserve for
Home Consumption, while inside the bale is the Actual Thing that the
Customer Sitting in Darkness buys with his blood and tears and land and
liberty. That Actual Thing is, indeed, Civilization, but it is only for Export.
Is there a difference between the two brands? In some of the details, yes.
We all know that the Business is being ruined. The reason is not far to
seek. It is because our Mr. McKinley, and Mr. Chamberlain, and the Kaiser,
and the Czar, and the French have been exporting the Actual Thing with the
outside cover left off. This is bad for the Game. It shows that these new
players of it are not sufficiently acquainted with it.
It is a distress to look on and note the mismoves, they are so strange
and so awkward. Mr. Chamberlain manufactures a war out of materials so
inadequate and so fanciful that they make the boxes grieve and the gallery
laugh, and he tries hard to persuade himself that it isn’t purely a private raid
for cash, but has a sort of dim, vague respectability about it somewhere, if
he could only find the spot; and that, by and by, he can scour the flag clean
again after he has finished dragging it through the mud, and make it shine
and flash in the vault of heaven once more as it had shone and flashed there
a thousand years in the world’s respect until he laid his unfaithful hand
upon it. It is bad play—bad. For it exposes the Actual Thing to Them that
Sit in Darkness, and they say: “What! Christian against Christian? And only
for money? Is this a case of magnanimity, forbearance, love, gentleness,
mercy, protection of the weak—this strange and over-showy onslaught of
an elephant upon a nest of field-mice, on the pretext that the mice had
squeaked an insolence at him—conduct which ‘no self-respecting
government could allow to pass unavenged?’ as Mr. Chamberlain said. Was
that a good pretext in a small case, when it had not been a good pretext in a
large one?—for only recently Russia had affronted the elephant three times
and survived alive and unsmitten. Is this Civilization and Progress? Is it
something better than we already possess? These harryings and burnings

and desert-makings in the Transvaal—is this an improvement on our
darkness? Is it, perhaps, possible that there are two kinds of Civilization—
one for home consumption and one for the heathen market?”
Then They that Sit in Darkness are troubled, and shake their heads;
and they read this extract from a letter of a British private, recounting his
exploits in one of Methuen’s victories, some days before the affair of
Magersfontein, and they are troubled again:
“We tore up the hill and into the intrenchments, and the Boers saw we had them; so they
dropped their guns and went down on their knees and put up their hands clasped, and begged for
mercy. And we gave it them—with the long spoon.”
The long spoon is the bayonet. See Lloyd’s Weekly, London, of those
days. The same number—and the same column—contains some quite
unconscious satire in the form of shocked and bitter upbraidings of the
Boers for their brutalities and inhumanities!
Next to our heavy damage, the Kaiser went to playing the game
without first mastering it. He lost a couple of missionaries in a riot in
Shantung, and in his account he made an overcharge for them. China had to
pay a hundred thousand dollars apiece for them, in money; twelve miles of
territory, containing several millions of inhabitants and worth twenty
million dollars, and to build a monument and also a Christian Church;
whereas the people of China could have been depended upon to remember
the missionaries without the help of these expensive memorials. This was
all bad play. Bad, because it would not, and could not, and will not now or
ever, deceive the Person Sitting in Darkness. He knows that it was an
overcharge. He knows that a missionary is like any other man; he is worth
merely what you can supply his place for, and no more. He is useful, but so
is a doctor, so is a sheriff, so is an editor; but a just Emperor does not charge
war-prices for such. A diligent, intelligent, but obscure missionary, and a
diligent, intelligent country editor are worth much, and we know it; but they
are not worth the earth. We esteem such an editor, and we are sorry to see
him go; but, when he goes, we should consider twelve miles of territory,
and a church, and a fortune, over-compensation for his loss. I mean, if he
was a Chinese editor, and we had to settle for him. It is no proper figure for
an editor or a missionary; one can get shop-worn kings for less. It was bad
play on the Kaiser’s part. It got this property, true; but it produced the
Chinese revolt, the indignant uprising of China’s traduced patriots, the

Boxers. The results have been expensive to Germany, and to the other
Disseminators of Progress and the Blessings of Civilization.
The Kaiser’s claim was paid, yet it was bad play, for it could not fail to
have an evil effect upon Persons Sitting in Darkness in China. They would
muse upon the event, and be likely to say: “Civilization is gracious and
beautiful, for such is its reputation; but can we afford it? There are rich
Chinamen, perhaps they could afford it; but this tax is not laid upon them, it
is laid upon the peasants of Shantung; it is they that must pay this mighty
sum, and their wages are but four cents a day. Is this a better civilization
than ours, and holier and higher and nobler? Is not this rapacity? Is not this
extortion? Would Germany charge America two hundred thousand dollars
for two missionaries, and shake the mailed fist in her face, and send
warships, and send soldiers, and say: ‘Seize twelve miles of territory, worth
twenty millions of dollars, as additional pay for the missionaries; and make
those peasants build a monument to the missionaries, and a costly Christian
church to remember them by?’ And later would Germany say to her
soldiers: ‘March through America and slay, giving no quarter; make the
German face there, as has been our Hun-face here, a terror for a thousand
years; march through the Great Republic and slay, slay, slay, carving a road
for our offended religion through its heart and bowels?’ Would Germany do
like this to America, to England, to France, to Russia? Or only to China the
helpless—imitating the elephant’s assault upon the field-mice? Had we
better invest in this Civilization—this Civilization which called Napoleon a
buccaneer for carrying off Venice’s bronze horses, but which steals our
ancient astronomical instruments from our walls, and goes looting like
common bandits—that is, all the alien soldiers except America’s; and
(Americans again excepted) storms frightened villages and cables the result
to glad journals at home every day: ‘Chinese losses, 450 killed; ours, one
officer and two men wounded. Shall proceed against neighboring village to-
morrow, where a massacre is reported.’ Can we afford Civilization?”
And, next, Russia must go and play the game injudiciously. She
affronts England once or twice—with the Person Sitting in Darkness
observing and noting; by moral assistance of France and Germany, she robs
Japan of her hard-earned spoil, all swimming in Chinese blood—Port
Arthur—with the Person again observing and noting; then she seizes
Manchuria, raids its villages, and chokes its great rivers with the swollen
corpses of countless massacred peasants—that astonished Person still

observing and noting. And perhaps he is saying to himself: “It is yet
another Civilized Power, with its banner of the Prince of Peace in one hand
and its loot-basket and its butcher-knife in the other. Is there no salvation
for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level?”
And by and by comes America, and our Master of the Game plays it
badly—plays it as Mr. Chamberlain was playing it in South Africa. It was a
mistake to do that; also, it was one which was quite unlooked for in a
Master who was playing it so well in Cuba. In Cuba, he was playing the
usual and regular American game, and it was winning, for there is no way
to beat it. The Master, contemplating Cuba, said: “Here is an oppressed and
friendless little nation which is willing to fight to be free; we go partners,
and put up the strength of seventy million sympathizers, and the resources
of the United States: play!” Nothing but Europe combined could call that
hand: and Europe cannot combine on anything. There, in Cuba, he was
following our great traditions in a way which made us very proud of him,
and proud of the deep dissatisfaction which his play was provoking in
Continental Europe. Moved by a high inspiration, he threw out those
stirring words which proclaimed that forcible annexation would be
“criminal aggression;” and in that utterance fired another “shot heard round
the world.” The memory of that fine saying will be outlived by the
remembrance of no act of his but one—that he forgot it within the
twelvemonth, and its honorable gospel along with it.
For, presently, came the Philippine temptation. It was strong; it was too
strong, and he made that bad mistake: he played the European game, the
Chamberlain game. It was a pity; it was a great pity, that error; that one
grievous error, that irrevocable error. For it was the very place and time to
play the American game again. And at no cost. Rich winnings to be
gathered in, too; rich and permanent; indestructible; a fortune transmissible
forever to the children of the flag. Not land, not money, not dominion—no,
something worth many times more than that dross: our share, the spectacle
of a nation of long harassed and persecuted slaves set free through our
influence; our posterity’s share, the golden memory of that fair deed. The
game was in our hands. If it had been played according to the American
rules, Dewey would have sailed away from Manila as soon as he had
destroyed the Spanish fleet—after putting up a sign on shore guaranteeing
foreign property and life against damage by the Filipinos, and warning the
Powers that interference with the emancipated patriots would be regarded

as an act unfriendly to the United States. The Powers cannot combine, in
even a bad cause, and the sign would not have been molested.
Dewey could have gone about his affairs elsewhere, and left the
competent Filipino army to starve out the little Spanish garrison and send it
home, and the Filipino citizens to set up the form of government they might
prefer, and deal with the friars and their doubtful acquisitions according to
Filipino ideas of fairness and justice—ideas which have since been tested
and found to be of as high an order as any that prevail in Europe or
America.
But we played the Chamberlain game, and lost the chance to add
another Cuba and another honorable deed to our good record.
The more we examine the mistake, the more clearly we perceive that it
is going to be bad for the Business. The Person Sitting in Darkness is
almost sure to say: “There is something curious about this—curious and
unaccountable. There must be two Americas: one that sets the captive free,
and one that takes a once-captive’s new freedom away from him, and picks
a quarrel with him with nothing to found it on; then kills him to get his
land.”
The truth is, the Person Sitting in Darkness is saying things like that;
and for the sake of the Business we must persuade him to look at the
Philippine matter in another and healthier way. We must arrange his
opinions for him. I believe it can be done; for Mr. Chamberlain has
arranged England’s opinion of the South African matter, and done it most
cleverly and successfully. He presented the facts—some of the facts—and
showed those confiding people what the facts meant. He did it statistically,
which is a good way. He used the formula: “Twice 2 are 14, and 2 from 9
leaves 35.” Figures are effective; figures will convince the elect.
Now, my plan is a still bolder one than Mr. Chamberlain’s, though
apparently a copy of it. Let us be franker than Mr. Chamberlain; let us
audaciously present the whole of the facts, shirking none, then explain them
according to Mr. Chamberlain’s formula. This daring truthfulness will
astonish and dazzle the Person Sitting in Darkness, and he will take the
Explanation down before his mental vision has had time to get back into
focus. Let us say to him:
“Our case is simple. On the 1st of May, Dewey destroyed the Spanish
fleet. This left the Archipelago in the hands of its proper and rightful

owners, the Filipino nation. Their army numbered 30,000 men, and they
were competent to whip out or starve out the little Spanish garrison; then
the people could set up a government of their own devising. Our traditions
required that Dewey should now set up his warning sign, and go away. But
the Master of the Game happened to think of another plan—the European
plan. He acted upon it. This was, to send out an army—ostensibly to help
the native patriots put the finishing touch upon their long and plucky
struggle for independence, but really to take their land away from them and
keep it. That is, in the interest of Progress and Civilization. The plan
developed, stage by stage, and quite satisfactorily. We entered into a
military alliance with the trusting Filipinos, and they hemmed in Manila on
the land side, and by their valuable help the place, with its garrison of 8,000
or 10,000 Spaniards, was captured—a thing which we could not have
accomplished unaided at that time. We got their help by—by ingenuity. We
knew they were fighting for their independence, and that they had been at it
for two years. We knew they supposed that we also were fighting in their
worthy cause—just as we had helped the Cubans fight for Cuban
independence—and we allowed them to go on thinking so. Until Manila
was ours and we could get along without them. Then we showed our hand.
Of course, they were surprised—that was natural; surprised and
disappointed; disappointed and grieved. To them it looked un-American;
un-characteristic; foreign to our established traditions. And this was natural,
too; for we were only playing the American Game in public—in private it
was the European. It was neatly done, very neatly, and it bewildered them
so they could not understand it; for we had been so friendly—so
affectionate, even—with those simple-minded patriots! We, our own selves,
had brought back out of exile their leader, their hero, their hope, their
Washington—Aguinaldo; brought him in a warship, in high honor, under
the sacred shelter and hospitality of the flag; brought him back and restored
him to his people, and got their moving and eloquent gratitude for it. Yes,
we had been so friendly to them, and had heartened them up in so many
ways! We had lent them guns and ammunition; advised with them;
exchanged pleasant courtesies with them; placed our sick and wounded in
their kindly care; entrusted our Spanish prisoners to their humane and
honest hands; fought shoulder to shoulder with them against “the common
enemy” (our own phrase); praised their courage, praised their gallantry,
praised their mercifulness, praised their fine and honorable conduct;

borrowed their trenches, borrowed strong positions which they had
previously captured from the Spaniards; petted them, lied to them—
officially proclaiming that our land and naval forces came to give them their
freedom and displace the bad Spanish Government—fooled them, used
them until we needed them no longer; then derided the sucked orange and
threw it away. We kept the positions which we had beguiled them of; by and
by, we moved a force forward and overlapped patriot ground—a clever
thought, for we needed trouble, and this would produce it. A Filipino
soldier, crossing the ground, where no one had a right to forbid him, was
shot by our sentry. The badgered patriots resented this with arms, without
waiting to know whether Aguinaldo, who was absent, would approve or
not. Aguinaldo did not approve; but that availed nothing. What we wanted,
in the interest of Progress and Civilization, was the Archipelago,
unencumbered by patriots struggling for independence; and the War was
what we needed. We clinched our opportunity. It is Mr. Chamberlain’s case
over again—at least in its motive and intention; and we played the game as
adroitly as he played it himself.”
At this point in our frank statement of fact to the Person Sitting in
Darkness, we should throw in a little trade-taffy about the Blessings of
Civilization—for a change, and for the refreshment of his spirit—then go
on with our tale:
“We and the patriots having captured Manila, Spain’s ownership of the
Archipelago and her sovereignty over it were at an end—obliterated—
annihilated—not a rag or shred of either remaining behind. It was then that
we conceived the divinely humorous idea of buying both of these spectres
from Spain! [It is quite safe to confess this to the Person Sitting in
Darkness, since neither he nor any other sane person will believe it.] In
buying those ghosts for twenty millions, we also contracted to take care of
the friars and their accumulations. I think we also agreed to propagate
leprosy and smallpox, but as to this there is doubt. But it is not important;
persons afflicted with the friars do not mind the other diseases.
“With our treaty ratified, Manila subdued, and our Ghosts secured, we
had no further use for Aguinaldo and the owners of the Archipelago. We
forced a war, and we have been hunting America’s guest and ally through
the woods and swamps ever since.”

At this point in the tale, it will be well to boast a little of our war-work
and our heroisms in the field, so as to make our performance look as fine as
England’s in South Africa; but I believe it will not be best to emphasize this
too much. We must be cautious. Of course, we must read the war-telegrams
to the Person, in order to keep up our frankness; but we can throw an air of
humorousness over them, and that will modify their grim eloquence a little,
and their rather indiscreet exhibitions of gory exultation. Before reading to
him the following display heads of the dispatches of November 18, 1900, it
will be well to practice on them in private first, so as to get the right tang of
lightness and gaiety into them:
“ADMINISTRATION WEARY OF PROTRACTED HOSTILITIES!”

“REAL WAR AHEAD FOR FILIPINO REBELS!”[1]

“WILL SHOW NO MERCY!”

“KITCHENER’S PLAN ADOPTED!”

1. “Rebels!” Mumble that funny word—don’t let the Person catch it distinctly.
Kitchener knows how to handle disagreeable people who are fighting
for their homes and their liberties, and we must let on that we are merely
imitating Kitchener, and have no national interest in the matter, further than
to get ourselves admired by the Great Family of Nations, in which august
company our Master of the Game has bought a place for us in the back row.
Of course, we must not venture to ignore our General MacArthur’s
reports—oh, why do they keep on printing those embarrassing things?—we
must drop them trippingly from the tongue and take the chances:
“During the last ten months our losses have been 268 killed and 750
wounded; Filipino loss, three thousand two hundred and twenty-seven
killed, and 694 wounded.”
We must stand ready to grab the Person Sitting in Darkness, for he will
swoon away at this confession, saying: “Good God, those ‘niggers’ spare
their wounded, and the Americans massacre theirs!”
We must bring him to, and coax him and coddle him, and assure him
that the ways of Providence are best, and that it would not become us to
find fault with them; and then, to show him that we are only imitators, not
originators, we must read the following passage from the letter of an

American soldier-lad in the Philippines to his mother, published in Public
Opinion, of Decorah, Iowa, describing the finish of a victorious battle:
“We never left one alive. If one was wounded, we would run our
bayonets through him.”
Having now laid all the historical facts before the Person Sitting in
Darkness, we should bring him to again, and explain them to him. We
should say to him:
“They look doubtful, but in reality they are not. There have been lies;
yes, but they were told in a good cause. We have been treacherous; but that
was only in order that real good might come out of apparent evil. True, we
have crushed a deceived and confiding people; we have turned against the
weak and the friendless who trusted us; we have stamped out a just and
intelligent and well-ordered republic; we have stabbed an ally in the back
and slapped the face of a guest; we have bought a Shadow from an enemy
that hadn’t it to sell; we have robbed a trusting friend of his land and his
liberty; we have invited our clean young men to shoulder a discredited
musket and do bandit’s work under a flag which bandits have been
accustomed to fear, not to follow; we have debauched America’s honor and
blackened her face before the world; but each detail was for the best. We
know this. The Head of every State and Sovereignty in Christendom and
ninety per cent. of every legislative body in Christendom, including our
Congress and our fifty State Legislatures, are members not only of the
church, but also of the Blessings-of-Civilization Trust. This world-girdling
accumulation of trained morals, high principles, and justice, cannot do an
unright thing, an unfair thing, an ungenerous thing, an unclean thing. It
knows what it is about. Give yourself no uneasiness; it is all right.”
Now then, that will convince the Person. You will see. It will restore
the Business. Also, it will elect the Master of the Game to the vacant place
in the Trinity of our national gods; and there on their high thrones the Three
will sit, age after age, in the people’s sight, each bearing the Emblem of his
service: Washington, the Sword of the Liberator; Lincoln, the Slave’s
Broken Chains; the Master, the Chains Repaired.
It will give the Business a splendid new start. You will see.
Everything is prosperous, now; everything is just as we should wish it.
We have got the Archipelago, and we shall never give it up. Also, we have
every reason to hope that we shall have an opportunity before very long to

slip out of our Congressional contract with Cuba and give her something
better in the place of it. It is a rich country, and many of us are already
beginning to see that the contract was a sentimental mistake. But now—
right now—is the best time to do some profitable rehabilitating work—
work that will set us up and make us comfortable, and discourage gossip.
We cannot conceal from ourselves that, privately, we are a little troubled
about our uniform. It is one of our prides; it is acquainted with honor; it is
familiar with great deeds and noble; we love it, we revere it; and so this
errand it is on makes us uneasy. And our flag—another pride of ours, our
chiefest! We have worshipped it so; and when we have seen it in far lands—
glimpsing it unexpectedly in that strange sky, waving its welcome and
benediction to us—we have caught our breath and uncovered our heads,
and couldn’t speak, for a moment, for the thought of what it was to us and
the great ideals it stood for. Indeed, we must do something about these
things: we must not have the flag out there, and the uniform. They are not
needed there; we can manage in some other way. England manages, as
regards the uniform, and so can we. We have to send soldiers—we can’t get
out of that—but we can disguise them. It is the way England does in South
Africa. Even Mr. Chamberlain himself takes pride in England’s honorable
uniform, and makes the army down there wear an ugly and odious and
appropriate disguise, of yellow stuff such as quarantine flags are made of,
and which are hoisted to warn the healthy away from unclean disease and
repulsive death. This cloth is called khaki. We could adopt it. It is light,
comfortable, grotesque, and deceives the enemy, for he cannot conceive of a
soldier being concealed in it.
And as for a flag for the Philippine Province, it is easily managed. We
can have a special one—our States do it: we can have just our usual flag,
with the white stripes painted black and the stars replaced by the skull and
cross-bones.
And we do not need that Civil Commission out there. Having no
powers, it has to invent them, and that kind of work cannot be effectively
done by just anybody; an expert is required. Mr. Croker can be spared. We
do not want the United States represented there, but only the Game.
By help of these suggested amendments, Progress and Civilization in
that country can have a boom, and it will take in the Persons who are Sitting
in Darkness, and we can resume Business at the old stand.

Mark Twain.

For copies, address the Anti-Imperialist League of New York, 150 Nassau St., Room 1520.
Please enclose postage.

TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
1. Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling.
2. Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed.

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