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Title: Searchlights on Health: Light on Dark Corners

Author: B. G. Jefferis
J. L. Nichols

Release date: November 24, 2007 [eBook #23609]

Language: English

Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/23609

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SEARCHLIGHTS ON HEALTH: LIGHT ON DARK CORNERS ***

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GUARDIAN
ANGEL

LIGHT ON
SEARCHLIGHTS
DARK
ON HEALTH
CORNERS

A COMPLETE SEXUAL SCIENCE
AND

A Guide to Purity and Physical Manhood

ADVICE TO MAIDEN, WIFE, AND MOTHER
LOVE, COURTSHIP, AND MARRIAGE.

BY

Prof. B. G. JEFFERIS, M.D., PH.D.,

AND

J. L. NICHOLS, A.M.

J. L. NICHOLS & CO.

Naperville, Ill. Memphis, Tenn. Atlanta, Ga.

SOLD ONLY BY SUBSCRIPTION.

AGENTS WANTED

"Vice has no friend like the prejudice which claims to be virtue."—Lord
Lytton.

"When the judgment's weak, the prejudice is strong."—Kate O'Hare.

"It is the first right of every child to be well born."

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1894
By J. L. NICHOLS,

In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C.

Copyrighted 1895.

Copyrighted. 1896, by J. L. Nichols & Co.

Copyrighted, 1904, by J. L. Nichols & Co.

OVER 500,000 COPIES SOLD.

He stumbleth not, because he seeth the Light.

"Search Me,
Oh Thou
Great
Creator."

Knowledge is Safety.
1. The old maxim, that "Knowledge is power," is a true one, but there is still
a greater truth: "Knowledge is Safety." Safety amid physical ills that beset
mankind, and safety amid the moral pitfalls that surround so many young
people, is the great crying demand of the age.
2. Criticism.—While the aim of this work, though novel and to some extent
is daring, it is chaste, practical and to the point, and will be a boon and a
blessing to thousands who consult its pages. The world is full of ignorance,
and the ignorant will always criticise, because they live to suffer ills, for
they know no better. New light is fast falling upon the dark corners, and the
eyes of many are being opened.
3. Researches of Science.—The researches of science in the past few years
have thrown light on many facts relating to the physiology of man and
woman, and the diseases to which they are subject, and consequently many
reformations have taken place in the treatment and prevention of diseases
peculiar to the sexes.
4. Lock and Key.—Any information bearing upon the diseases of mankind
should not be kept under lock and key. The physician is frequently called
upon to speak in plain language to his patients upon some private and
startling disease contracted on account of ignorance. The better plan,
however, is to so educate and enlighten old and young upon the important
subjects of health, so that the necessity to call a physician may occur less
frequently.
5. Progression.—A large, respectable, though diminishing class in every
community, maintain that nothing that relates exclusively to either sex
should become the subject of popular medical instruction. But such an
opinion is radically wrong; ignorance is no more the mother of purity than it
is of religion. Enlightenment can never work injustice to him who
investigates.

6. An Example.—The men and women who study and practice medicine
are not the worse, but the better for such knowledge; so it would be to the
community in general if all would be properly instructed on the laws of
health which relate to the sexes.
7. Crime and Degradation.—Had every person a sound understanding on
the relation of the sexes, one of the most fertile sources of crime and
degradation would be removed. Physicians know too well what sad
consequences are constantly occurring from a lack of proper knowledge on
these important subjects.
8. A Consistent Consideration.—Let the reader of this work study its
pages carefully and be able to give safe counsel and advice to others, and
remember that purity of purpose and purity of character are the brightest
jewels in the crown of immortality.

The Beginning of Life.
1. The Beginning.—There is a charm in opening
manhood which has commended itself to the imagination
in every age. The undefined hopes and promises of the
future—the dawning strength of intellect—the vigorous
flow of passion—the very exchange of home ties and
protected joys for free and manly pleasures, give to this
period an interest and excitement unfelt, perhaps, at any
other. Beginning Right.

2. The Growth of Independence.—Hitherto life has been to boys, as to
girls, a dependent existence—a sucker from the parent growth—a home
discipline of authority and guidance and communicated impulse. But
henceforth it is a transplanted growth of its own—a new and free power of
activity in which the mainspring is no longer authority or law from without,
but principle or opinion within. The shoot which has been nourished under
the shelter of the parent stem, and bent according to its inclination, is
transferred to the open world, where of its own impulse and character it
must take root, and grow into strength, or sink into weakness and vice.
3. Home Ties.—The thought of home must excite a pang even in the first
moments of freedom. Its glad shelter—its kindly guidance—its very
restraints, how dear and tender must they seem in parting! How brightly
must they shine in the retrospect as the youth turns from them to the
hardened and unfamiliar face of the world! With what a sweet, sadly-
cheering pathos they must linger in the memory! And then what chance and
hazard is there in his newly-gotten freedom! What instincts of warning in its
very novelty and dim inexperience! What possibilities of failure as well as
of success in the unknown future as it stretches before him!
4. Vice or Virtue.—Certainly there is a grave importance as well as a
pleasant charm in the beginning of life. There is awe as well as excitement
in it when rightly viewed. The possibilities that lie in it of noble or ignoble
work—of happy self-sacrifice or ruinous self-indulgence—the capacities in

the right use of which it may rise to heights of beautiful virtue, in the abuse
of which it may sink to the depths of debasing vice—make the crisis one of
fear as well as of hope, of sadness as well as of joy.
5. Success or Failure.—It is wistful as well as pleasing to think of the
young passing year by year into the world, and engaging with its duties, its
interests, and temptations. Of the throng that struggle at the gates of
entrance, how many may reach their anticipated goal? Carry the mind
forward a few years, and some have climbed the hills of difficulty and
gained the eminence on which they wished to stand—some, although they
may not have done this, have kept their truth unhurt, their integrity
unspoiled; but others have turned back, or have perished by the way, or
fallen in weakness of will, no more to rise again; victims of their own sin.
6. Warning.—As we place ourselves with the young at the opening gates of
life, and think of the end from the beginning, it is a deep concern more than
anything else that fills us. Words of earnest argument and warning counsel
rather than of congratulation rise to our lips.
7. Mistakes Are Often Fatal.—Begin well, and the habit of doing well will
become quite as easy as the habit of doing badly. "Well begun is half
ended," says the proverb; "and a good beginning is half the battle." Many
promising young men have irretrievably injured themselves by a first false
step at the commencement of life; while others, of much less promising
talents, have succeeded simply by beginning well, and going onward. The
good, practical beginning is, to a certain extent, a pledge, a promise, and an
assurance of the ultimate prosperous issue. There is many a poor creature,
now crawling through life, miserable himself and the cause of sorrow to
others, who might have lifted up his head and prospered, if, instead of
merely satisfying himself with resolutions of well-doing, he had actually
gone to work and made a good, practical beginning.
8. Begin at the Right Place.—Too many are, however, impatient of results.
They are not satisfied to begin where their fathers did, but where they left
off. They think to enjoy the fruits of industry without working for them.
They cannot wait for the results of labor and application, but forestall them
by too early indulgence.

Health a Duty.
Perhaps nothing will so much hasten the time when body
and mind will both be adequately cared for, as a
diffusion of the belief that the preservation of health is a SOLID COMFORT
duty. Few seem conscious that there is such a thing as AND GOOD
physical morality. HEALTH.

Men's habitual words and acts imply that they are at liberty to treat their
bodies as they please. Disorder entailed by disobedience to nature's dictates
they regard as grievances, not as the effects of a conduct more or less
flagitious. Though the evil consequences inflicted on their descendents and
on future generations are often as great as those caused by crime, they do
not think themselves in any degree criminal.
It is true that in the case of drunkenness the viciousness of a bodily
transgression is recognized; but none appear to infer that if this bodily
transgression is vicious, so, too, is every bodily transgression. The fact is,
all breaches of the law of health are physical sins.
When this is generally seen, then, and perhaps not till then, will the physical
training of the young receive all the attention it deserves.
Purity of life and thought should be taught in the home. It is the only
safeguard of the young. Let parents wake up on this important subject.

Value of Reputation.
1. Who Shall Estimate the Cost.—Who shall estimate the cost of a
priceless reputation—that impress which gives this human dross its
currency—without which we stand despised, debased, depreciated? Who
shall repair it injured? Who can redeem it lost? Oh, well and truly does the
great philosopher of poetry esteem the world's wealth as "trash" in the
comparison. Without it gold has no value; birth, no distinction; station, no
dignity; beauty, no charm; age, no reverence; without it every treasure
impoverishes, every grace deforms, every dignity degrades, and all the arts,
the decorations and accomplishments of life stand, like the beacon-blaze
upon a rock, warning the world that its approach is dangerous; that its
contact is death.
2. The Wretch Without It.—The wretch without it is under eternal
quarantine; no friend to greet; no home to harbor him, the voyage of his life
becomes a joyless peril; and in the midst of all ambition can achieve, or
avarice amass, or rapacity plunder, he tosses on the surge, a buoyant
pestilence. But let me not degrade into selfishness of individual safety or
individual exposure this individual principle; it testifies a higher, a more
ennobling origin.
3. Its Divinity.—Oh, Divine, oh, delightful legacy of a spotless reputation:
Rich is the inheritance it leaves; pious the example it testifies; pure,
precious and imperishable, the hope which it inspires; can there be
conceived a more atrocious injury than to filch from its possessor this
inestimable benefit to rob society of its charm, and solitude of its solace;
not only to out-law life, but attain death, converting the very grave, the
refuge of the sufferer, into the gate of infamy and of shame.
4. Lost Character.—We can conceive few crimes beyond it. He who
plunders my property takes from me that which can be repaired by time; but
what period can repair a ruined reputation? He who maims my person
effects that which medicine may remedy; but what herb has sovereignty
over the wounds of slander? He who ridicules my poverty or reproaches my

profession, upbraids me with that which industry may retrieve, and integrity
may purify; but what riches shall redeem the bankrupt fame? What power
shall blanch the sullied show of character? There can be no injury more
deadly. There can be no crime more cruel. It is without remedy. It is without
antidote. It is without evasion.

Influence of Associates.
If you always live with those who are lame, you will yourself
learn to limp.—From the Latin.
If men wish to be held in esteem, they must associate with those
who are estimable.—La Bruyere.

1. By What Men Are Known.—An author is known by
his writings, a mother by her daughter, a fool by his
words, and all men by their companions.
2. Formation of a Good Character.—Intercourse with
persons of decided virtue and excellence is of great
importance in the formation of a good character. The
force of example is powerful; we are creatures of
imitation, and, by a necessary influence, our tempers and
habits are very much formed on the model of those with GATHERING
whom we familiarly associate. Better be alone than in WILD FLOWERS.
bad company. Evil communications corrupt good
manners. Ill qualities are catching as well as diseases; and the mind is at
least as much, if not a great deal more, liable to infection, than the body. Go
with mean people, and you think life is mean.
3. Good Example.—How natural is it for a child to look up to those around
him for an example of imitation, and how readily does he copy all that he
sees done, good or bad. The importance of a good example on which the
young may exercise this powerful and active element of their nature, is a
matter of the utmost moment.
4. A True Maxim.—It is a trite, but true maxim, that "a man is known by
the company he keeps." He naturally assimilates by the force of imitation,
to the habits and manners of those by whom he is surrounded. We know
persons who walk much with the lame, who have learned to walk with a
hitch or limp like their lame friends. Vice stalks in the streets unabashed,
and children copy it.

5. Live with the Culpable.—Live with the culpable, and you will be very
likely to die with the criminal. Bad company is like a nail driven into a post,
which after the first or second blow, may be drawn out with little difficulty;
but being once driven in up to the head, the pinchers cannot take hold to
draw it out, which can only be done by the destruction of the wood. You
may be ever so pure, you cannot associate with bad companions without
falling into bad odor.
6. Society of the Vulgar.—Do you love the society of the vulgar? Then you
are already debased in your sentiments. Do you seek to be with the profane?
In your heart you are like them. Are jesters and buffoons your choice
friends? He who loves to laugh at folly, is himself a fool. Do you love and
seek the society of the wise and good? Is this your habit? Had you rather
take the lowest seat among these than the highest seat among others? Then
you have already learned to be good. You may not make very much
progress, but even a good beginning is not to be despised.
7. Sinks of Pollution.—Strive for mental excellence, and strict integrity,
and you never will be found in the sinks of pollution, and on the benches of
retailers and gamblers. Once habituate yourself to a virtuous course, once
secure a love of good society, and no punishment would be greater than by
accident to be obliged for half a day to associate with the low and vulgar.
Try to frequent the company of your betters.
8. Procure no Friend in Haste.—Nor, if once secured, in haste abandon
them. Be slow in choosing an associate, and slower to change him; slight no
man for poverty, nor esteem any one for his wealth. Good friends should
not be easily forgotten, nor used as suits of apparel, which, when we have
worn them threadbare, we cast them off, and call for new. When once you
profess yourself a friend, endeavor to be always such. He can never have
any true friends that will be often changing them.
9. Have the Courage to Cut the Most Agreeable Acquaintance.—Do this
when you are convinced that he lacks principle; a friend should bear with a
friend's infirmities, but not with his vices. He that does a base thing in zeal
for his friend, burns the golden thread that ties their hearts together.

Self-Control.
"Honor and profit do not always lie in the same sack."—George
Herbert.
"The government of one's self is the only true freedom for the
individual."—Frederick Perthes.
"It is length of patience, and endurance, and forebearance, that so
much of what is called good in mankind and womankind is
shown."—Arthur Helps.

1. Essence of Character.—Self-control is only courage under another
form. It may also be regarded as the primary essence of character. It is in
virtue of this quality that Shakespeare defines man as a being "looking
before and after." It forms the chief distinction between man and the mere
animal; and, indeed, there can be no true manhood without it.
2. Root of all the Virtues.—Self-control is at the root of
all the virtues. Let a man give the reins to his impulses
and passions, and from that moment he yields up his
moral freedom. He is carried along the current of life,
and becomes the slave of his strongest desire for the time
being.
3. Resist Instinctive Impulse.—To be morally free—to
be more than an animal—man must be able to resist
instinctive impulse, and this can only be done by THE RESULT OF
BAD COMPANY.
exercise of self-control. Thus it is this power which
constitutes the real distinction between a physical and a moral life, and that
forms the primary basis of individual character.
4. A Strong Man Ruleth His Own Spirit.—In the Bible praise is given,
not to a strong man who "taketh a city," but to the stronger man who "ruleth
his own spirit." This stronger man is he who, by discipline, exercises a

constant control over his thoughts, his speech, and his acts. Nine-tenths of
the vicious desires that degrade society, and which, when indulged, swell
into the crimes that disgrace it, would shrink into insignificance before the
advance of valiant self-discipline, self-respect, and self-control. By the
watchful exercise of these virtues, purity of heart and mind become
habitual, and the character is built up in chastity, virtue, and temperance.
5. The Best Support.—The best support of character will always be found
in habit, which, according as the will is directed rightly or wrongly, as the
case may be, will prove either a benignant ruler, or a cruel despot. We may
be its willing subject on the one hand, or its servile slave on the other. It
may help us on the road to good, or it may hurry us on the road to ruin.
6. The Ideal Man.—"In the supremacy of self-control," says Herbert
Spencer, "consists one of the perfections of the ideal man. Not to be
impulsive, not to be spurred hither and thither by each desire that in turn
comes uppermost, but to be self-restrained, self-balanced, governed by the
joint decision of the feelings in council assembled, before whom every
action shall have been fully debated, and calmly determined—that it is
which education, moral education at least, strives to produce."
7. The Best Regulated Home.—The best regulated home is always that in
which the discipline is the most perfect, and yet where it is the least felt.
Moral discipline acts with the force of a law of nature. Those subject to it
yield themselves to it unconsciously; and though it shapes and forms the
whole character, until the life becomes crystallized in habit, the influence
thus exercised is for the most part unseen, and almost unfelt.
8. Practice Self-denial.—If a man would get through life honorably and
peaceably, he must necessarily learn to practice self-denial in small things
as well as in great. Men have to bear as well as to forbear. The temper has
to be held in subjection to the judgment; and the little demons of ill-humor,
petulance, and sarcasm, kept resolutely at a distance. If once they find an
entrance to the mind, they are apt to return, and to establish for themselves
a permanent occupation there.
9. Power of Words.—It is necessary to one's personal happiness, to
exercise control over one's words as well as acts: for there are words that
strike even harder than blows; and men may "speak daggers," though they

use none. The stinging repartee that rises to the lips, and which, if uttered,
might cover an adversary with confusion, how difficult it is to resist saying
it! "Heaven, keep us," says Miss Bremer, in her 'Home', "from the
destroying power of words! There are words that sever hearts more than
sharp swords do; there are words the point of which sting the heart through
the course of a whole life."
10. Character Exhibits Itself.—Character exhibits itself in self-control of
speech as much as in anything else. The wise and forbearant man will
restrain his desire to say a smart or severe thing at the expense of another's
feeling; while the fool blurts out what he thinks, and will sacrifice his friend
rather than his joke. "The mouth of a wise man," said Solomon, "is in his
heart: the heart of a fool is in his mouth."
11. Burns.—No one knew the value of self-control better than the poet
Burns, and no one could teach it more eloquently to others, but when it
came to practice, Burns was as weak as the weakest. He could not deny
himself the pleasure of uttering a harsh and clever sarcasm at another's
expense. One of his biographers observed of him, that it was no extravagant
arithmetic to say that for every ten jokes he made himself a hundred
enemies. But this was not all. Poor Burns exercised no control over his
appetites, but freely gave them the rein:

"Thus thoughtless follies laid him low,
And stained his name."

12. Sow Pollution.—Nor had he the self-denial to resist
giving publicity to compositions originally intended for
the delight of the tap-room, but which continued secretly
to sow pollution broadcast in the minds of youth. Indeed,
notwithstanding the many exquisite poems of this writer, LOST SELF-
it is not saying too much that his immoral writings have CONTROL.
done far more harm than his purer writings have done
good; and it would be better that all his writings should be destroyed and
forgotten, provided his indecent songs could be destroyed with them.
13. Moral Principle.—Many of our young men lack moral principle. They
cannot look upon a beautiful girl with a pure heart and pure thoughts. They

have not manifested or practiced that self-control which develops true
manhood, and brings into subordination evil thoughts, evil passions, and
evil practices. Men who have no self-control will find life a failure, both in
a social and in a business sense. The world despises an insignificant person
who lacks backbone and character. Stand upon your manhood and
womanhood; honor your convictions, and dare to do right.
14. Strong Drink.—There is the habit of strong drink. It is only the lack of
self-control that brings men into the depths of degradation; on account of
the cup, the habit of taking drink occasionally in its milder forms—of
playing with a small appetite that only needs sufficient playing with to
make you a demon or a dolt. You think you are safe; I know you are not
safe, if you drink at all; and when you get offended with the good friends
that warn you of your danger, you are a fool. I know that the grave
swallows daily, by scores, drunkards, every one of whom thought he was
safe while he was forming his appetite. But this is old talk. A young man in
this age who forms the habit of drinking, or puts himself in danger of
forming the habit, is usually so weak that it doesn't pay to save him.

Habit.
It is almost as difficult to make a man unlearn his Errors as his
Knowledge.—Colton.
There are habits contracted by bad example, or bad management,
before we have judgment to discern their approaches, or because
the eye of Reason is laid asleep, or has not compass of view
sufficient to look around on every quarter.—Tucker.

1. Habit.—Our real strength in life depends upon habits formed in early
life. The young man who sows his wild oats and indulges in the social cup,
is fastening chains upon himself that never can be broken. The innocent
youth by solitary practice of self-abuse will fasten upon himself a habit
which will wreck his physical constitution and bring suffering and misery
and ruin. Young man and young woman, beware of bad habits formed in
early life.
2. A Bundle of Habits.—Man, it has been said, is a bundle of habits; and
habit is second nature. Metastasio entertained so strong an opinion as to the
power of repetition in act and thought, that he said, "All is habit in
mankind, even virtue itself." Evil habits must be conquered, or they will
conquer us and destroy our peace and happiness.
3. Vicious Habits.—Vicious habits, when opposed, offer the most vigorous
resistence on the first attack. At each successive encounter this resistence
grows fainter and fainter, until finally it ceases altogether and the victory is
achieved. Habit is man's best friend and worst enemy; it can exalt him to the
highest pinnacle of virtue, honor and happiness, or sink him to the lowest
depths of vice, shame and misery.
4. Honesty, or Knavery.—We may form habits of honesty, or knavery;
truth, or falsehood; of industry, or idleness; frugality, or extravagance; of
patience, or impatience; self-denial, or self-indulgence; of kindness, cruelty,
politeness, rudeness, prudence, perseverance, circumspection. In short,

there is not a virtue, nor a vice; not an act of body, nor of mind, to which we
may not be chained down by this despotic power.
5. Begin Well.—It is a great point for young men to begin well; for it is the
beginning of life that that system of conduct is adopted which soon assumes
the force of habit. Begin well, and the habit of doing well will become quite
easy, as easy as the habit of doing badly. Pitch upon that course of life
which is the most excellent, and habit will render it the most delightful.

A Good Name.
1. The Longing for a Good Name.—The longing for a good name is one
of those laws of nature that were passed for the soul and written down
within to urge toward a life of action, and away from small or wicked
action. So large is this passion that it is set forth in poetic thought, as having
a temple grand as that of Jupiter or Minerva, and up whose marble steps all
noble minds struggle—the temple of Fame.
2. Civilization.—Civilization is the ocean of which the millions of
individuals are the rivers and torrents. These rivers and torrents swell with
those rains of money and home and fame and happiness, and then fall and
run almost dry, but the ocean of civilization has gathered up all these
waters, and holds them in sparkling beauty for all subsequent use.
Civilization is a fertile delta made by the drifting souls of men.
3. Fame.—The word "fame" never signifies simply notoriety. The meaning
of the direct term may be seen from its negation or opposite, for only the
meanest of men are called infamous. They are utterly without fame, utterly
nameless; but if fame implied only notoriety then infamous would possess
no marked significance. Fame is an undertaker that pays but little attention
to the living, but who bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals and
follows them to the grave.
4. Life-Motive.—So in studying that life-motive which is called a "good
name," we must ask the large human race to tell us the high merit of this
spiritual longing. We must read the words of the sage, who said long
centuries ago that "a good name was rather chosen than great riches." Other
sages have said as much. Solon said that "He that will sell his good name
will sell the State." Socrates said, "Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds."
Our Shakspeare said, "He lives in fame who died in virtue's cause."
5. Influences of Our Age.—Our age is deeply influenced by the motives
called property and home and pleasure, but it is a question whether the
generation in action to-day and the generation on the threshold of this
intense life are conscious fully of the worth of an honorable name.

6. Beauty of Character.—We do not know whether with us all a good
name is less sweet than it was with our fathers, but this is painfully evident,
that our times do not sufficiently behold the beauty of character—their
sense does not detect quickly enough or love deeply enough this aroma of
heroic deeds.
7. Selling Out Their Reputation.—It is amazing what multitudes there are
who are willing to sell out their reputation, and amazing at what a low price
they will make the painful exchange. Some king remarked that he would
not tell a lie for any reward less than an empire. It is not uncommon in our
world for a man to sell out all his honor and hopes for a score or a half
score of dollars.
8. Prisons Overflowing.—Our prisons are all full to overflowing of those
who took no thought of honor. They have not waited for an empire to be
offered them before they would violate the sacred rights of man, but many
of them have even murdered for a cause that would not have justified even
an exchange of words.
9. Integrity the Pride of the Government.—If integrity were made the
pride of the government, the love of it would soon spring up among the
people. If all fraudulent men should go straight to jail, pitilessly, and if all
the most rigid characters were sought out for all political and commercial
offices, there would soon come a popular honesty just as there has come a
love of reading or of art. It is with character as with any new article—the
difficulty lies in its first introduction.
10. A New Virtue.—May a new virtue come into favor, all our high
rewards, those from the ballot-box, those from employers, the rewards of
society, the rewards of the press, should be offered only to the worthy. A
few years of rewarding the worthy would result in a wonderful zeal in the
young to build up, not physical property, but mental and spiritual worth.
11. Blessing the Family Group.—No young man or
young woman can by industry and care reach an
eminence in study or art or character, without blessing
the entire family group. We have all seen that the father
and mother feel that all life's care and labor were at last
perfectly rewarded in the success of their child. But had AN ARAB

the child been reckless or indolent, all this domestic joy PRINCESS.
—the joy of a large group—would have been blighted
forever.
12. An Honored Child.—There have been triumphs at old Rome, where
victors marched along with many a chariot, many an elephant, and many
spoils of the East; and in all times money has been lavished in the efforts of
States to tell their pleasure in the name of some general; but more numerous
and wide-spread and beyond expression, by chariot or cannon or drum,
have been those triumphal hours, when some son or daughter has returned
to the parental hearth beautiful in the wreaths of some confessed excellence,
bearing a good name.
13. Rich Criminals.—We looked at the utter wretchedness of the men who
threw away reputation, and would rather be rich criminals in exile than be
loved friends and persons at home.
14. An Empty, or an Evil Name.—Young and old cannot afford to bear the
burden of an empty or an evil name. A good name is a motive of life. It is a
reason for that great encampment we call an existence. While you are
building the home of to-morrow, build up also that kind of soul that can
sleep sweetly on home's pillow, and can feel that God is not near as an
avenger of wrong, but as the Father not only of the verdure and the seasons,
but of you. Live a pure life and bear a good name, and your reward will be
sure and great.

The Mother's Influence.
Mother, O mother, my heart calls for you,
Many a Summer the grass has grown green,
Blossomed and faded, our faces between;
Yet with strong yearning and passionate pain,
Long I to-night for your presence again.—Elizabeth
Akers Allen.

A mother is a mother still,
The holiest thing alive.—Coleridge.

There is none,
In all this cold and hollow world, no fount
Of deep, strong, deathless love, save that within
A mother's heart.—Mrs. Hemans.

And all my mother came into mine eyes,
And gave me up to tears.—Shakespeare.

1. Her Influence.—It is true to nature, although it be
expressed in a figurative form, that a mother is both the
morning and the evening star of life. The light of her eye is
always the first to rise, and often the last to set upon man's
day of trial. She wields a power more decisive far than
syllogisms in argument or courts of last appeal in authority.
A
2. Her Love.—Mother! ecstatic sound so twined round our PRAYERFUL
AND
hearts that they must cease to throb ere we forget it; 'tis our DEVOTED
first love; 'tis part of religion. Nature has set the mother upon MOTHER.
such a pinnacle that our infant eyes and arms are first
uplifted to it; we cling to it in manhood; we almost worship it in old age.
3. Her Tenderness.—Alas! how little do we appreciate a mother's
tenderness while living. How heedless are we in youth of all her anxieties

and kindness! But when she is dead and gone, when the cares and coldness
of the world come withering to our hearts, when we experience for
ourselves how hard it is to find true sympathy, how few to love us, how few
will befriend us in misfortune, then it is that we think of the mother we have
lost.
4. Her Controlling Power.—The mother can take man's whole nature
under her control. She becomes what she has been called, "The Divinity of
Infancy." Her smile is its sunshine, her word its mildest law, until sin and
the world have steeled the heart.
5. The Last Tie.—The young man who has forsaken the advice and
influence of his mother has broken the last cable and severed the last tie that
binds him to an honorable and upright life. He has forsaken his best friend,
and every hope for his future welfare may be abandoned, for he is lost
forever. If he is faithless to mother, he will have but little respect for wife
and children.
6. Home Ties.—The young man or young woman who love their home and
love their mother can be safely trusted under almost any and all
circumstances, and their life will not be a blank, for they seek what is good.
Their hearts will be ennobled, and God will bless them.

Home Power.
"The mill-streams that turn the clappers of the world arise in
solitary places."—Helps.

"Lord! with what care hast Thou begirt us round!
Parents first season us. Then schoolmasters
Deliver us to laws. They send us bound
To rules of reason."—George Herbert.

1. School of Character.—Home is the first and most
important school of character. It is there that every
human being receives his best moral training, or his
worst, for it is there that he imbibes those principles of
conduct which endure through manhood, and cease only HOME
with life. AMUSEMENT.

2. Home Makes the Man.—It is a common saying,
"Manners make the man;" and there is a second, that "Mind makes the
man;" but truer than either is a third, that "Home makes the man." For the
home-training includes not only manners and mind, but character. It is
mainly in the home that the heart is opened, the habits are formed, the
intellect is awakened, and character moulded for good or for evil.
3. Govern Society.—From that source, be it pure or impure, issue the
principles and maxims that govern society. Law itself is but the reflex of
homes. The tiniest bits of opinion sown in the minds of children in private
life afterwards issue forth to the world, and become its public opinion; for
nations are gathered out of nurseries, and they who hold the leading-strings
of children may even exercise a greater power than those who wield the
reins of government.
4. The Child Is Father of the Man.—The child's character is the nucleus
of the man's; all after-education is but superposition; the form of the crystal
remains the same. Thus the saying of the poet holds true in a large degree,

"The child is father of the man;" or as Milton puts it, "The childhood shows
the man, as morning shows the day." Those impulses to conduct which last
the longest and are rooted the deepest, always have their origin near our
birth. It is then that the germs of virtues or vices, of feelings or sentiments,
are first implanted which determine the character of life.
5. Nurseries.—Thus homes, which are nurseries of children who grow up
into men and women, will be good or bad according to the power that
governs them. Where the spirit of love and duty pervades the home, where
head and heart bear rule wisely there, where the daily life is honest and
virtuous, where the government is sensible, kind, and loving, then may we
expect from such a home an issue of healthy, useful, and happy beings,
capable as they gain the requisite strength, of following the footsteps of
their parents, of walking uprightly, governing themselves wisely, and
contributing to the welfare of those about them.
6. Ignorance, Coarseness, and Selfishness.—On the other hand, if
surrounded by ignorance, coarseness, and selfishness, they will
unconsciously assume the same character, and grow up to adult years rude,
uncultivated, and all the more dangerous to society if placed amidst the
manifold temptations of what is called civilized life. "Give your child to be
educated by a slave," said an ancient Greek, "and, instead of one slave, you
will then have two."
7. Maternal Love.—Maternal love is the visible providence of our race. Its
influence is constant and universal. It begins with the education of the
human being at the outstart of life, and is prolonged by virtue of the
powerful influence which every good mother exercises over her children
through life. When launched into the world, each to take part in its labors,
anxieties, and trials, they still turn to their mother for consolation, if not for
counsel, in their time of trouble and difficulty. The pure and good thoughts
she has implanted in their minds when children continue to grow up into
good acts long after she is dead; and when there is nothing but a memory of
her left, her children rise up and call her blessed.
8. Woman, above All Other Educators, educates humanly. Man is the
brain, but woman is the heart of humanity; he its judgment, she its feeling;
he its strength, she its grace, ornament, and solace. Even the understanding

of the best woman seems to work mainly through her affections. And thus,
though man may direct the intellect, woman cultivates the feelings, which
mainly determine the character. While he fills the memory, she occupies the
heart. She makes us love what he can make us only believe, and it is chiefly
through her that we are enabled to arrive at virtue.
9. The Poorest Dwelling, presided over by a virtuous, thrifty, cheerful, and
cleanly woman, may thus be the abode of comfort, virtue, and happiness; it
may be the scene of every ennobling relation in family life; it may be
endeared to man by many delightful associations; furnishing a sanctuary for
the heart, a refuge from the storms of life, a sweet resting-place after labor,
a consolation in misfortune, a pride in prosperity, and a joy at all times.
10. The Good Home Is Thus the Best of Schools, not only in youth but in
age. There young and old best learn cheerfulness, patience, self-control, and
the spirit of service and of duty. The home is the true school of courtesy, of
which woman is always the best practical instructor. "Without woman,"
says the Provencal proverb, "men were but ill-licked cubs." Philanthropy
radiates from the home as from a centre. "To love the little platoon we
belong to in society," said Burke, "is the germ of all public affections." The
wisest and best have not been ashamed to own it to be their greatest joy and
happiness to sit "behind the heads of children" in the inviolable circle of
home.

To Young Women.
1. To Be a Woman, in the truest and highest sense of the
word, is to be the best thing beneath the skies. To be a
woman is something more than to live eighteen or
twenty years; something more than to grow to the
physical stature of women; something more than to wear
flounces, exhibit dry goods, sport jewelry, catch the gaze
of lewd-eyed men; something more than to be a belle, a
wife, or a mother. Put all these qualifications together
MEDITATION.
and they do but little toward making a true woman.
2. Beauty and Style are not the surest passports to womanhood—some of
the noblest specimens of womanhood that the world has ever seen have
presented the plainest and most unprepossessing appearance. A woman's
worth is to be estimated by the real goodness of her heart, the greatness of
her soul, and the purity and sweetness of her character; and a woman with a
kindly disposition and well-balanced temper is both lovely and attractive,
be her face ever so plain, and her figure ever so homely; she makes the best
of wives and the truest of mothers.
3. Beauty Is a Dangerous Gift.—It is even so. Like wealth, it has ruined its
thousands. Thousands of the most beautiful women are destitute of common
sense and common humanity. No gift from heaven is so general and so
widely abused by woman as the gift of beauty. In about nine cases in ten it
makes her silly, senseless, thoughtless, giddy, vain, proud, frivolous, selfish,
low and mean. I think I have seen more girls spoiled by beauty than by any
other one thing. "She is beautiful, and she knows it," is as much as to say
that she is spoiled. A beautiful girl is very likely to believe she was made to
be looked at; and so she sets herself up for a show at every window, in
every door, on every corner of the street, in every company at which
opportunity offers for an exhibition of herself.
4. Beware of Beautiful Women.—These facts have long since taught
sensible men to beware of beautiful women—to sound them carefully

before they give them their confidence. Beauty is shallow—only skin deep;
fleeting—only for a few years' reign; dangerous—tempting to vanity and
lightness of mind; deceitful—dazzling often to bewilder; weak—reigning
only to ruin; gross—leading often to sensual pleasure. And yet we say it
need not be so. Beauty is lovely and ought to be innocently possessed. It
has charms which ought to be used for good purposes. It is a delightful gift,
which ought to be received with gratitude and worn with grace and
meekness. It should always minister to inward beauty. Every woman of
beautiful form and features should cultivate a beautiful mind and heart.
5. Rival the Boys.—We want the girls to rival the boys in all that is good,
and refined, and ennobling. We want them to rival the boys, as they well
can, in learning, in understanding, in virtues; in all noble qualities of mind
and heart, but not in any of those things that have caused them, justly or
unjustly, to be described as savages. We want the girls to be gentle—not
weak, but gentle, and kind and affectionate. We want to be sure, that
wherever a girl is, there should be a sweet, subduing and harmonizing
influence of purity, and truth, and love, pervading and hallowing, from
center to circumference, the entire circle in which she moves. If the boys
are savages, we want her to be their civilizer. We want her to tame them, to
subdue their ferocity, to soften their manners, and to teach them all needful
lessons of order, sobriety, and meekness, and patience, and goodness.
6. Kindness.—Kindness is the ornament of man—it is the chief glory of
woman—it is, indeed, woman's true prerogative—her sceptre and her
crown. It is the sword with which she conquers, and the charm with which
she captivates.
7. Admired and Beloved.—Young lady, would you be admired and
beloved? Would you be an ornament to your sex, and a blessing to your
race? Cultivate this heavenly virtue. Wealth may surround you with its
blandishments, and beauty, and learning, or talents, may give you admirers,
but love and kindness alone can captivate the heart. Whether you live in a
cottage or a palace, these graces can surround you with perpetual sunshine,
making you, and all around you, happy.
8. Inward Grace.—Seek ye then, fair daughters, the possession of that
inward grace, whose essence shall permeate and vitalize the affections,

adorn the countenance, make mellifluous the voice, and impart a hallowed
beauty even to your motions. Not merely that you may be loved, would I
urge this, but that you may, in truth, be lovely—that loveliness which fades
not with time, nor is marred or alienated by disease, but which neither
chance nor change can in any way despoil.
9. Silken Enticements of the Stranger.—We urge you, gentle maiden, to
beware of the silken enticements of the stranger, until your love is
confirmed by protracted acquaintance. Shun the idler, though his coffers
overflow with pelf. Avoid the irreverent—the scoffer of hallowed things;
and him who "looks upon the wine while it is red;" him too, "who hath a
high look and a proud heart," and who "privily slandereth his neighbor." Do
not heed the specious prattle about "first love," and so place, irrevocably,
the seal upon your future destiny, before you have sounded, in silence and
secrecy, the deep fountains of your own heart. Wait, rather, until your own
character and that of him who would woo you, is more fully developed.
Surely, if this "first love" cannot endure a short probation, fortified by "the
pleasures of hope," how can it be expected to survive years of intimacy,
scenes of trial, distracting cares, wasting sickness, and all the homely
routine of practical life? Yet it is these that constitute life, and the love that
cannot abide them is false and must die.

Influence of Female Character.
1. Moral Effect.—It is in its moral effect on the mind
and the heart of man, that the influence of woman is
most powerful and important. In the diversity of tastes,
habits, inclinations, and pursuits of the two sexes, is
found a most beneficent provision for controlling the
force and extravagance of human passion. The objects
which most strongly seize and stimulate the mind of
man, rarely act at the same time and with equal power on
the mind of woman. She is naturally better, purer, and ROMAN LADIES.
more chaste in thought and language.
2. Female Character.—But the influence of female character on the virtue
of men, is not seen merely in restraining and softening the violence of
human passion. To her is mainly committed the task of pouring into the
opening mind of infancy its first impressions of duty, and of stamping on its
susceptible heart the first image of its God. Who will not confess the
influence of a mother in forming the heart of a child? What man is there
who can not trace the origin of many of the best maxims of his life to the
lips of her who gave him birth? How wide, how lasting, how sacred is that
part of a woman's influence.
3. Virtue of a Community.—There is yet another mode, by which woman
may exert a powerful influence on the virtue of a community. It rests with
her in a pre-eminent degree, to give tone and elevation to the moral
character of the age, by deciding the degree of virtue that shall be necessary
to afford a passport to her society. If all the favor of woman were given only
to the good, if it were known that the charms and attractions of beauty, and
wisdom, and wit, were reserved only for the pure; if, in one word,
something of a similar rigor were exerted to exclude the profligate and
abandoned of society, as is shown to those who have fallen from virtue,—
how much would be done to re-enforce the motives to moral purity among
us, and impress on the minds of all a reverence for the sanctity and
obligations of virtue.

4. The Influence of Woman on the Moral Sentiments.—The influence of
woman on the moral sentiments of society is intimately connected with her
influence on its religious character; for religion and a pure and elevated
morality must ever stand in the relation to each other of effect and cause.
The heart of a woman is formed for the abode of sacred truth; and for the
reasons alike honorable to her character and to that of society. From the
nature of humanity this must be so, or the race would soon degenerate, and
moral contagion eat out the heart of society. The purity of home is the
safeguard to American manhood.

Personal Purity.
"Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control,
These three alone lead life to sovereign power."—
Tennyson.

1. Words of the Great Teacher.—Mark the words of the
Great Teacher: "If thy right hand or foot cause thee to
fall, cut it off and cast it from thee. If thy right eye cause
thee to fall, pluck it out. It is better for thee to enter into
life maimed and halt, than having two eyes to be cast
into hell-fire, where the worm dieth not, and the fire is
not quenched."
2. A Melancholy Fact.—It is a melancholy fact, in human experience, that
the noblest gifts which men possess are constantly prostituted to other
purposes than those for which they are designed. The most valuable and
useful organs of the body are those which are capable of the greatest
dishonor, abuse, and corruption. What a snare the wonderful organism of
the eye may become, when used to read corrupt books, or to look upon
licentious pictures, or vulgar theater scenes, or when used to meet the
fascinating gaze of the harlot! What an instrument for depraving the whole
man may be found in the matchless powers of the brain, the hand, the
mouth, or the tongue! What potent instruments may these become in
accomplishing the ruin of the whole being, for time and eternity!
3. Abstinence.—Some can testify with thankfulness that they never knew
the sins of gambling, drunkenness, fornication, or adultery. In all these
cases abstinence has been, and continues to be, liberty. Restraint is the
noblest freedom. No man can affirm that self-denial ever injured him; on
the contrary, self-restraint has been liberty, strength and blessing. Solemnly
ask young men to remember this when temptation and passion strive as a
floodtide to move them from the anchorage and peace of self-restraint.
Beware of the deceitful stream of temporary gratification, whose eddying

current drifts towards license, shame, disease and death. Remember how
quickly moral power declines, how rapidly the edge of the fatal maelstrom
is reached, how near the vortex, how terrible the penalty, how fearful the
sentence of everlasting punishment!
4. Frank Discussion.—The time has arrived for a full and frank discussion
of those things which affect the personal purity. Thousands are suffering to-
day from various weaknesses, the causes of which they have never learned.
Manly vigor is not increasing with that rapidity which a Christian age
demands. Means of dissipation are on the increase. It is high time,
therefore, that every lover of the race should call a halt, and inquire into the
condition of things. Excessive modesty on this subject is not virtue.
Timidity in presenting unpleasant but important truths has permitted untold
damage in every age.
5. Man Is a Careless Being.—He is very much inclined to sinful things. He
more often does that which is wrong than that which is right, because it is
easier, and, for the moment, perhaps, more satisfying to the flesh. The
Creator is often blamed for man's weaknesses and inconsistencies. This is
wrong. God did not intend that we should be mere machines, but free moral
agents. We are privileged to choose between good and evil. Hence, if we
perseveringly choose the latter, and make a miserable failure of life, we
should blame only ourselves.
6. The Pulpit.—Would that every pulpit in the land might join hands with
the medical profession and cry out with no uncertain sound against the
mighty evils herein stigmatized! It would work a revolution for which
coming society could never cease to be grateful.
7. Strive to Attain a Higher Life.—Strive to attain unto a higher and better
life. Beware of all excesses, of whatever nature, and guard your personal
purity with sacred determination. Let every aspiration be upward, and be
strong in every good resolution. Seek the light, for in light there is life,
while in darkness there is decay and death.

CONFIDENCE
THAT
SOMETIMES
MAKES
TROUBLE.

How to Write All Kinds of Letters.
1. From the President in his cabinet to the laborer in the
street; from the lady in her parlor to the servant in her
kitchen; from the millionaire to the beggar; from the
emigrant to the settler; from every country and under
every combination of circumstances, letter writing in all
its forms and varieties is most important to the advancement, welfare and
happiness of the human family.
2. Education.—-The art of conveying thought through the medium of
written language is so valuable and so necessary, a thorough knowledge of
the practice must be desirable to every one. For merely to write a good
letter requires the exercise of much of the education and talent of any
writer.
3. A Good Letter.—A good letter must be correct in every mechanical
detail, finished in style, interesting in substance, and intelligible in
construction. Few there are who do not need write them; yet a letter perfect
in detail is rarer than any other specimen of composition.
4. Penmanship.—It is folly to suppose that the faculty for writing a good
hand is confined to any particular persons. There is no one who can write at
all, but what can write well, if only the necessary pains are practiced.
Practice makes perfect. Secure a few copy books and write an hour each
day. You will soon write a good hand.
5. Write Plainly.—Every word of even the most trifling document should
be written in such clear characters that it would be impossible to mistake it
for another word, or the writer may find himself in the position of the
Eastern merchant who, writing to the Indies for five thousand mangoes,
received by the next vessel five hundred monkies, with a promise of more
in the next cargo.
6. Haste.—Hurry is no excuse for bad writing, because any one of sense
knows that everything hurried is liable to be ruined. Dispatch may be

acquired, but hurry will ruin everything. If, however, you must write slowly
to write well, then be careful not to hurry at all, for the few moments you
will gain by rapid writing will never compensate you for the disgrace of
sending an ill-written letter.
7. Neatness.—Neatness is also of great importance. A fair white sheet with
handsomely written words will be more welcome to any reader than a
blotted, bedaubed page covered with erasures and dirt, even if the matter in
each be of equal value and interest. Erasures, blots, interlineations always
spoil the beauty of any letter.
8. Bad Spelling.—When those who from faulty education, or forgetfulness
are doubtful about the correct spelling of any word, it is best to keep a
dictionary at hand, and refer to it upon such occasions. It is far better to
spend a few moments in seeking for a doubtful word, than to dispatch an ill-
spelled letter, and the search will probably impress the spelling upon the
mind for a future occasion.
9. Carelessness.—Incorrect spelling will expose the most important or
interesting letter to the severest sarcasm and ridicule. However perfect in all
other respects, no epistle that is badly spelled will be regarded as the work
of an educated gentleman or lady. Carelessness will never be considered,
and to be ignorant of spelling is to expose an imperfect education at once.
10. An Excellent Practice.—After writing a letter, read it over carefully,
correct all the errors and re-write it. If you desire to become a good letter
writer, improve your penmanship, improve your language and grammar, re-
writing once or twice every letter that you have occasion to write, whether
on social or business subjects.
11. Punctuation.—A good rule for punctuation is to punctuate where the
sense requires it, after writing a letter and reading it over carefully you will
see where the punctuation marks are required, you can readily determine
where the sense requires it, so that your letter will convey the desired
meaning.
12. Correspondence.—There is no better school or better source for self-
improvement than a pleasant correspondence between friends. It is not at all
difficult to secure a good list of correspondents if desired. The young

people who take advantage of such opportunities for
self-improvement will be much more popular in the
community and in society. Letter writing cultivates the
habit of study; it cultivates the mind, the heart, and
stimulates self-improvement in general.
13. Folding.—Another bad practice with those unaccustomed to
corresponding is to fold the sheet of writing in such a fantastic manner as to
cause the receiver much annoyance in opening it. To the sender it may
appear a very ingenious performance, but to the receiver it is only a source
of vexation and annoyance, and may prevent the communication receiving
the attention it would otherwise merit.
14. Simple Style.—The style of letter writing should be simple and
unaffected, not raised on stilts and indulging in pedantic displays which are
mostly regarded as cloaks of ignorance. Repeated literary quotations,
involved sentences, long-sounding words and scraps of Latin, French and
other languages are, generally speaking, out of place, and should not be
indulged in.
15. The Result.—A well written letter has opened the way to prosperity for
many a one, has led to many a happy marriage and constant friendship, and
has secured many a good service in time of need; for it is in some measure a
photograph of the writer, and may inspire love or hatred, regard or aversion
in the reader, just as the glimpse of a portrait often determine us, in our
estimate, of the worth of the person represented. Therefore, one of the roads
to fortune runs through the ink bottle, and if we want to attain a certain end
in love, friendship or business, we must trace out the route correctly with
the pen in our hand.

HOW TO WRITE A LOVE LETTER.
1. Love.—There is no greater or more profound reality than love. Why that
reality should be obscured by mere sentimentalism, with all its train of
absurdities is incomprehensible. There is no nobler possession than the love
of another. There is no higher gift from one human being to another than
love. The gift and the possession are true sanctifiers of life, and should be
worn as precious jewels without affectation and without bashfulness. For
this reason there is nothing to be ashamed of in a love letter, provided it be
sincere.
2. Forfeits.—No man need consider that he forfeits dignity if he speaks
with his whole heart: no woman need fear she forfeits her womanly
attributes if she responds as her heart bids her respond. "Perfect love casteth
out fear" is as true now as when the maxim was first given to the world.
3. Telling Their Love.—The generality of the sex is love to be loved: how
are they to know the fact that they are loved unless they are told? To write a
sensible love letter requires more talent than to solve, with your pen, a
profound problem in philosophy. Lovers must not then expect much from
each other's epistles.
4. Confidential.—Ladies and gentlemen who correspond with each other
should never be guilty of exposing any of the contents of any letters written
expressing confidence, attachment or love. The man who confides in a lady
and honors her with his confidence should be treated with perfect security
and respect, and those who delight in showing their confidential letters to
others are unworthy, heartless and unsafe companions.
5. Return of Letters.—If letters were written under circumstances which
no longer exist and all confidential relations are at an end, then all letters
should be promptly returned.
6. How to Begin a Love Letter.—How to begin a love letter has been no
doubt the problem of lovers and suitors of all ages and nations. Fancy the
youth of Young America with lifted pen, thinking how he shall address his

beloved. Much depends upon this letter. What shall he say, and how shall he
say it, is the great question. Perseverance, however, will solve the problem
and determine results.
7. Forms of Beginning a Love Letter.—Never say, "My Dearest Nellie,"
"My Adored Nellie," or "My Darling Nellie," until Nellie has first called
you "My Dear," or has given you to understand that such familiar terms are
permissible. As a rule a gentleman will never err if he says "Dear Miss
Nellie," and if the letters are cordially reciprocated the "Miss" may in time
be omitted, or other familiar terms used instead. In addressing a widow
"Dear Madam," or, "My Dear Madam," will be a proper form until
sufficient intimacy will justify the use of other terms.
8. Respect.—A lady must always be treated with respectful delicacy, and a
gentleman should never use the term "Dear" or "My Dear" under any
circumstances unless he knows it is perfectly acceptable or a long and
friendly acquaintance justifies it.
9. How to Finish a Letter.—A letter will be suggested by the remarks on
how to begin one. "Yours respectfully," "Yours truly," "Yours sincerely,"
"Yours affectionately," "Yours ever affectionately," "Yours most
affectionately," "Ever yours," "Ever your own," or "Yours," are all
appropriate, each depending upon the beginning of the letter. It is difficult
to see any phrase which could be added to them which would carry more
meaning than they contain. People can sign themselves "adorers" and such
like, but they do so at the peril of good taste. It is not good that men or
women "worship" each other—if they succeed in preserving reciprocal love
and esteem they will have cause for great contentment.
10. Permission.—No young man should ever write to a young lady any
letter, formal or informal, unless he has first sought her permission to do so.
11. Special Forms.—We give various forms or models of love letters to be
studied, not copied. We have given no replies to the forms given, as every
letter written will naturally suggest an answer. A careful study will be a
great help to many who have not enjoyed the advantages of a literary
education.

FORMS OF SOCIAL LETTERS.

1.—From a Young Lady to a Clergyman Asking a Recommendation.
Nantwich, May 18th, 1894.
Reverend and Dear Sir:
Having seen an advertisment for a school mistress in the Daily Times, I
have been recommended to offer myself as a candidate. Will you kindly
favor me with a testimonial as to my character, ability and conduct while at
Boston Normal School? Should you consider that I am fitted for the
position, you would confer a great favor on me if you would interest
yourself in my behalf.

I remain, Reverend Sir,
Your most obedient and humble servant,
Laura B. Nichols.

2.—Applying for a Position as a Teacher of Music.
Scotland, Conn., January 21st, 1894.
Madam:
Seeing your advertisement in The Clarion of to-day, I write to offer my
services as a teacher of music in your family.
I am a graduate of the Peabody Institute, of Baltimore, where I was
thoroughly instructed in instrumental and vocal music.
I refer by permission to Mrs. A. J. Davis, 1922 Walnut Street; Mrs. Franklin
Hill, 2021 Spring Garden Street, and Mrs. William Murray, 1819 Spruce
Street, in whose families I have given lessons.
Hoping that you may see fit to employ me, I am,

Very respectfully yours,
Nellie Reynolds.

3.—Applying for a Situation as a Cook.
Charlton Place, September 8th, 1894.
Madam:
Having seen your advertisement for a cook in today's Times, I beg to offer
myself for your place. I am a thorough cook. I can make clear soups,
entrees, jellies, and all kinds of made dishes. I can bake, and am also used
to a dairy. My wages are $4 per week, and I can give good reference from
my last place, in which I lived for two years. I am thirty-three years of age.

I remain, Madam,
Yours very respectfully,
Mary Mooney.

4.—Recommending a School Teacher.
Ottawa, Ill., February 10th, 1894.
Col. Geo. H. Haight,
President Board of Trustees, etc.
Dear Sir: I take pleasure in recommending to your favorable consideration
the application of Miss Hannah Alexander for the position of teacher in the
public school at Weymouth.
Miss Alexander is a graduate of the Davidson Seminary, and for the past
year has taught a school in this place. My children have been among her
pupils, and their progress has been entirely satisfactory to me.
Miss Alexander is a strict disciplinarian, an excellent teacher, and is
thoroughly competent to conduct the school for which she applies.
Trusting that you may see fit to bestow upon her the appointment she seeks,
I am,

Yours very respectfully,
Alice Miller.

5.—A Business Introduction.
Chicago., Ill., May 1st, 1894.

J. W. Brown,
Earlville, Ill.
My Dear Sir: This will introduce to you Mr. William Channing, of this city,
who visits Earlville on a matter of business, which he will explain to you in
person. You can rely upon his statements, as he is a gentleman of high
character, and should you be able to render him any assistance, it would be
greatly appreciated by

Yours truly,
Haight Larabee.

6.—Introducing One Lady to Another.
Dundee, Tenn., May 5th, 1894.
Dear Mary:
Allow me to introduce to you my ever dear friend, Miss Nellie Reynolds,
the bearer of this letter. You have heard me speak of her so often that you
will know at once who she is. As I am sure you will be mutually pleased
with each other, I have asked her to inform you of her presence in your city.
Any attention you may show her will be highly appreciated by

Yours affectionately,
Lizzie Eicher.

7.—To a Lady, Apologizing for a Broken Engagement.
Albany, N. Y., May 10th, 1894.
My Dear Miss Lee:
Permit me to explain my failure to keep my appointment with you this
evening. I was on my way to your house, with the assurance of a pleasant
evening, when unfortunately I was very unexpectedly called from home on
very important business.
I regret my disappointment, but hope that the future may afford us many
pleasant meetings.

Sincerely your friend,

Irving Goodrich.

8.—Form of an Excuse for a Pupil.
Thursday Morning, April 4th.
Mr. Bunnel:
You will please excuse William for non-attendance at school yesterday, as I
was compelled to keep him at home to attend to a matter of business.

Mrs. A. Smith.

9.—Form of Letter Accompanying a Present.
Louisville, July 6, 1894.
My Dearest Nelly:
Many happy returns of the day. So fearful was I that it would escape your
memory, that I thought I would send you this little trinket by way of
reminder. I beg you to accept it and wear it for the sake of the giver. With
love and best wishes.

Believe me ever, your sincere friend,
Caroline Collins.

10.—Returning Thanks for the Present.
Louisville, July 6, 1894.
Dear Mrs. Collins:
I am very much obliged to you for the handsome bracelet you have sent me.
How kind and thoughtful it was of you to remember me on my birthday. I
am sure I have every cause to bless the day, and did I forget it, I have many
kind friends to remind me of it. Again thanking you for your present, which
is far too beautiful for me, and also for your kind wishes.

Believe me, your most grateful
Bertha Smith.

11.—Congratulating a Friend Upon His Marriage.
Menton, N.Y., May 24th, 1894.

My Dear Everett:
I have to-day received the invitation to your wedding, and as I cannot be
present at that happy event to offer my congratulations in person, I write.
I am heartily glad you are going to be married, and congratulate you upon
the wisdom of your choice. You have won a noble as well as a beautiful
woman, and one whose love will make you a happy man to your life's end.
May God grant that trouble may not come near you, but should it be your
lot, you will have a wife to whom you can look with confidence for
comfort, and whose good sense and devotion to you will be your sure and
unfailing support.
That you may both be very happy, and that your happiness may increase
with your years, is the prayer of

Your Friend,
Frank Howard.

Declaration of
Affection

Any extravagant flattery should be avoided, both as tending to disgust those
to whom it is addressed, as well as to degrade the writers, and to create
suspicion as to their sincerity. The sentiments should spring from the
tenderness of the heart, and, when faithfully and delicately expressed, will
never be read without exciting sympathy or emotion in all hearts not
absolutely deadened by insensibility.

FORMS OF LOVE LETTERS.
12.—An Ardent Declaration..
Naperville, Ill., June 10th, 1894.
My Dearest Laura:
I can no longer restrain myself from writing to you, dearest and best of
girls, what I have often been on the point of saying to you. I love you so
much that I cannot find words in which to express my feelings. I have loved
you from the very first day we met, and always shall. Do you blame me
because I write so freely? I should be unworthy of you if I did not tell you
the whole truth. Oh, Laura, can you love me in return? I am sure I shall not
be able to bear it if your answer is unfavorable. I will study your every wish
if you will give me the right to do so. May I hope? Send just one kind word
to your sincere friend,

Harry Smith.

13.—A Lover's Good-bye Before Starting on a Journey.
Pearl St., New York, March 11th, 1894.
My Dearest Nellie: I am off to-morrow, and yet not altogether, for I leave
my heart behind in your gentle keeping. You need not place a guard over it,
however, for it is as impossible that it should stay away, as for a bit of steel
to rush from a magnet. The simile is eminently correct, for you, my dear
girl, are a magnet, and my heart is as true to you as steel. I shall make my
absence as brief as possible. Not a day, not an hour, not a minute, shall I
waste either in going or returning. Oh, this business; but I won't complain,
for we must have something for our hive besides honey—something that
rhymes with it—and that we must have it, I must bestir myself. You will
find me a faithful correspondent. Like the spider, I shall drop a line by
(almost) every post; and mind, you must give me letter for letter. I can't give
you credit. Your returns must be prompt and punctual.

Passionately yours,

Lewis Shuman.

To Miss Nellie Carter,
No. —— Fifth Avenue, New York.

14.—From an Absent Lover.
Chicago, Ill., Sept. 10, 1894.
My Dearest Kate: This sheet of paper, though I should cover it with loving
words, could never tell you truly how I long to see you again. Time does not
run on with me now at the same pace as with other people; the hours seem
days, the days weeks, while I am absent from you, and I have no faith in the
accuracy of clocks and almanacs. Ah! if there were truth in clairvoyance,
wouldn't I be with you at this moment! I wonder if you are as impatient to
see me as I am to fly to you? Sometimes it seems as if I must leave business
and everything else to the Fates, and take the first train to Dawson.
However, the hours do move, though they don't appear to, and in a few
more weeks we shall meet again. Let me hear from you as frequently as
possible in the meantime. Tell me of your health, your amusements and
your affections.
Remember that every word you write will be a comfort to me.

Unchangeably yours,
William Miller.

To Miss Kate Martin,
Dawson, N. D.

15.—A Declaration of Love at First Sight.
Waterford, Maine, May 8th, 1894.
Dear Miss Searles:
Although I have been in your society but once, the impression you have
made upon me is so deep and powerful that I cannot forbear writing to you,
in defiance of all rules of etiquette. Affection is sometimes of slow growth:
but sometimes it springs up in a moment. In half an hour after I was
introduced to you my heart was no longer my own. I have not the assurance
to suppose that I have been fortunate enough to create any interest in yours;

but will you allow me to cultivate your acquaintance in the hope of being
able to win your regard in the course of time? Petitioning for a few lines in
reply,

I remain, dear Miss Searles,
Yours devotedly,
E. C. Nicks.

Miss E. Searles,
Waterford, Maine.

16.—Proposing Marriage.
Wednesday, October 20th, 1894.
Dearest Etta:
The delightful hours I have passed in your society have left an impression
on my mind that is altogether indelible, and cannot be effaced even by time
itself. The frequent opportunities I have possessed, of observing the
thousand acts of amiability and kindness which mark the daily tenor of your
life, have ripened my feelings of affectionate regard into a passion at once
ardent and sincere, until I have at length associated my hopes of future
happiness with the idea of you as a life partner, in them. Believe me, dearest
Etta, this is no puerile fancy, but the matured results of a long and warmly
cherished admiration of your many charms of person and mind. It is love—
pure, devoted love, and I feel confident that your knowledge of my
character will lead you to ascribe my motives to their true source.
May I then implore you to consult your own heart, and should this avowal
of my fervent and honorable passion for you be crowned with your
acceptance and approval, to grant me permission to refer the matter to your
parents. Anxiously awaiting your answer,

I am, dearest Etta,
Your sincere and faithful lover,
Geo. Courtright.

To Miss Etta Jay,
Malden, Ill.

17.—From a Gentleman to a Widow.
Philadelphia, May 10th, 1894.
My Dear Mrs. Freeman:
I am sure you are too clear-sighted not to have observed the profound
impression which your amiable qualities, intelligence and personal
attractions have made upon my heart, and as you have not repelled my
attentions nor manifested displeasure when I ventured to hint at the deep
interest I felt in your welfare and happiness, I cannot help hoping that you
will receive an explicit expression of my attachments, kindly and favorably.
I wish it were in my power to clothe the feelings I entertain for you in such
words as should make my pleadings irresistible; but, after all, what could I
say, more than you are very dear to me, and that the most earnest desire of
my soul is to have the privilege of calling you my wife? Do you, can you
love me? You will not, I am certain, keep me in suspense, for you are too
good and kind to trifle for a moment with sincerity like mine. Awaiting your
answer,

I remain with respectful affection,
Ever yours,
Henry Murray.

Mrs. Julia Freeman,
Philadelphia.

18.—From a Lady to an Inconstant Lover.
Dear Harry:
It is with great reluctance that I enter upon a subject which has given me
great pain, and upon which silence has become impossible if I would
preserve my self-respect. You cannot but be aware that I have just reason
for saying that you have much displeased me. You have apparently
forgotten what is due to me, circumstanced as we are, thus far at least. You
cannot suppose that I can tamely see you disregard my feelings, by conduct
toward other ladies from which I should naturally have the right to expect
you to abstain. I am not so vulgar a person as to be jealous. When there is
cause to infer changed feelings, or unfaithfulness to promises of constancy,

jealousy is not the remedy. What the remedy is I need not say—we both of
us have it in our hands. I am sure you will agree with me that we must come
to some understanding by which the future shall be governed. Neither you
nor I can bear a divided allegiance. Believe me that I write more in sorrow
than in anger. You have made me very unhappy, and perhaps thoughtlessly.
But it will take much to reassure me of your unaltered regard.

Yours truly,
Emma.

MODESTY.
ACT
NATURAL
AND SPEAK
WELL OF
ALL PEOPLE.

Hints and Helps on Good Behavior at all Times
and at all Places.
1. It takes acquaintance to found a noble esteem, but
politeness prepares the way. Indeed, as Montaigne says,
Courtesy begets esteem at sight. Urbanity is half of
affability, and affability is a charm worth possessing.
2. A pleasing demeanor is often the scales by which the
pagan weighs the Christian. It is not virtue, but virtue
THE HUMAN
inspires it. There are circumstances in which it takes a FACE, LIKE A
great and strong soul to pass under the little yoke of FLOWER,
courtesy, but it is a passport to a greater soul standard. SPEAKS FOR
ITSELF.
3. Matthew Arnold says, "Conduct is three-fourths of
character," and Christian benignity draws the line for conduct. A high sense
of rectitude, a lowly soul, with a pure and kind heart are elements of
nobility which will work out in the life of a human being at home—
everywhere. "Private refinement makes public gentility."
4. If you would conciliate the favor of men, rule your resentment.
Remember that if you permit revenge or malice to occupy your soul, you
are ruined.
5. Cultivate a happy temper; banish the blues; a cheerful saguine spirit
begets cheer and hope.
6. Be trustworthy and be trustful.
7. Do not place a light estimate upon the arts of good reading and good
expression; they will yield perpetual interest.
8. Study to keep versed in world events as well as in local occurrences, but
abhor gossip, and above all scandal.
9. Banish a self-conscience spirit—the source of much awkwardness—with
a constant aim to make others happy. Remember that it is incumbent upon

gentlemen and ladies alike to be neat in habits.
10. The following is said to be a correct posture for walking. Head erect—
not too rigid—chin in, shoulders back. Permit no unnecessary motion about
the thighs. Do not lean over to one side in walking, standing or sitting; the
practice is not only ungraceful, but it is deforming and therefore
unhealthful.
11. Beware of affectation and of Beau Brummel airs.
12. If the hands are allowed to swing in walking, the arc should be limited,
and the lady will manage them much more gracefully, if they almost touch
the clothing.
13. A lady should not stand with her hands behind her. We could almost say,
forget the hands except to keep them clean, including the nails, cordial and
helpful. One hand may rest easily in the other. Study repose of attitude here
as well as in the rest of the body.
14. Gestures are for emphasis in public speaking; do not point elsewhere, as
a rule.
15. Greet your acquaintances as you meet them with a slight bow and smile,
as you speak.
16. Look the person to whom you speak in the eye. Never under any
circumstances wink at another or communicate by furtive looks.
17. Should you chance to be the rejected suitor of a lady, bear in mind your
own self-respect, as well as the inexorable laws of society, and bow politely
when you meet her. Reflect that you do not stand before all woman-kind as
you do at her bar. Do not resent the bitterness of flirtation. No lady or
gentleman will flirt. Remember ever that painful prediscovery is better than
later disappointment. Let such experience spur you to higher exertion.
18. Discretion should be exercised in introducing persons. Of two
gentlemen who are introduced, if one is superior in rank or age, he is the
one to whom the introduction should be made. Of two social equals, if one
be a stranger in the place, his name should be mentioned first.
19. In general the simpler the introduction the better.

20. Before introducing a gentleman to a lady, remember that she is entitled
to hold you responsible for the acquaintance. The lady is the one to whom
the gentleman is presented, which may be done thus: "Miss A, permit me to
introduce to you my friend, Mr. B."; or, "Miss A., allow me to introduce Mr.
B." If mutual and near friends of yours, say simply, "Miss A., Mr. B."
21. Receive the introduction with a slight bow and the acknowledgment,
"Miss A., I am happy to make your acquaintance"; or, "Mr. B., I am pleased
to meet you." There is no reason why such stereotyped expressions should
always be used, but something similar is expected. Do not extend the hand
usually.
22. A true lady will avoid familiarity in her deportment towards gentlemen.
A young lady should not permit her gentlemen friends to address her by her
home name, and the reverse is true. Use the title Miss and Mr. respectively.
23. Ladies should be frank and cordial towards their lady friends, but never
gushing.
24. Should you meet a friend twice or oftener, at short intervals, it is polite
to bow slightly each time after the first.
25. A lady on meeting a gentleman with whom she has slight acquaintance
will make a medium bow—neither too decided nor too slight or stiff.
26. For a gentleman to take a young lady's arm, is to intimate that she is
feeble, and young ladies resent the mode.
27. If a young lady desires to visit any public place where she expects to
meet a gentleman acquaintance, she should have a chaperon to accompany
her, a person of mature years when possible, and never a giddy girl.
28. A lady should not ask a gentleman to walk with her.

A COMPLETE ETIQUETTE IN A FEW PRACTICAL
RULES.

1. If you desire to be respected, keep clean. The finest attire and decorations
will add nothing to the appearance or beauty of an untidy person.
2. Clean clothing, clean skin, clean hands, including the nails, and clean,
white teeth, are a requisite passport for good society.
3. A bad breath should be carefully remedied, whether it proceeds from the
stomach or from decayed teeth.
4. To pick the nose, finger about the ears, or scratch the head or any other
part of the person, in company, is decidedly vulgar.
5. When you call at any private residence, do not neglect to clean your
shoes thoroughly.
6. A gentleman should always remove his hat in the presence of ladies,
except out of doors, and then he should lift or touch his hat in salutation.
On meeting a lady a well-bred gentleman will always lift his hat.
7. An invitation to a lecture, concert, or other entertainment, may be either
verbal or written, but should always be made at least twenty-four hours
before the time.
8. On entering a hall or church the gentleman should precede the lady in
walking up the aisle, or walk by her side, if the aisle is broad enough.
9. A gentleman should always precede a lady upstairs, and follow her
downstairs.
10. Visitors should always observe the customs of the church with reference
to standing, sitting, or kneeling during the services.
11. On leaving a hall or church at the close of entertainment or services, the
gentleman should precede the lady.
12. A gentleman walking with a lady should carry the parcels, and never
allow the lady to be burdened with anything of the kind.

13. A gentleman meeting a lady on the street and wishing to speak to her,
should never detain her, but may turn around and walk in the same
direction she is going, until the conversation is completed.
14. If a lady is traveling with a gentleman, simply as a friend, she should
place the amount of her expenses in his hands, or insist on paying the bills
herself.
15. Never offer a lady costly gifts unless you are engaged to her, for it looks
as if you were trying to purchase her goodwill; and when you make a
present to a lady use no ceremony whatever.
16. Never carry on a private conversation in company. If
secrecy is necessary, withdraw from the company.
17. Never sit with your back to another without asking to
be excused.
Children should
18. It is as unbecoming for a gentleman to sit with legs early be taught the
crossed as it is for a lady. lesson of Propriety
and Good Manners.
19. Never thrum with your fingers, rub your hands,
yawn, or sigh aloud in company.
20. Loud laughter, loud talking, or other boisterous manifestations should
be checked in the society of others, especially on the street and in public
places.
21. When you are asked to sing or play in company, do so without being
urged, or refuse in a way that shall be final; and when music is being
rendered in company, show politeness to the musician by giving attention. It
is very impolite to keep up a conversation. If you do not enjoy the music,
keep silent.
22. Contentions, contradictions, etc., in society should be carefully avoided.
23. Pulling out your watch in company, unless asked the time of day, is a
mark of the demi-bred. It looks as if you were tired of the company and the
time dragged heavily.

24. You should never decline to be introduced to any one or all of the guests
present at a party to which you have been invited.
25. A gentleman who escorts a lady to a party, or who has a lady placed
under his care, is under particular obligations to attend to her wants and
see that she has proper attention. He should introduce her to others, and
endeavor to make the evening pleasant. He should escort her to the supper
table and provide for her wants.
26. To take small children or dogs with you on a visit of ceremony is
altogether vulgar, though in visiting familiar friends, children are not
objectionable.

AN EGYPTIAN
BRIDE'S
WEDDING
OUTFIT.

ETIQUETTE OF CALLS.

In the matter of making calls it is the correct thing:
For the caller who arrived first to leave first.
To return a first call within a week and in person.
To call promptly and in person after a first invitation.
For the mother or chaperon to invite a gentleman to call.
To call within a week after any entertainment to which one has been invited.

You should call upon an acquaintance who has recently returned from a
prolonged absence.
It is proper to make the first call upon people in a higher social position, if
one is asked to do so.
It is proper to call, after an engagement has been announced, or a marriage
has taken place, in the family.
For the older residents in the city or street to call upon the newcomers to
their neighborhood is a long recognized custom.
It is proper, after a removal from one part of the city to another, to send out
cards with one's new address upon them.
To ascertain what are the prescribed hours for calling in the place where one
is living, or making a visit, and to adhere to those hours is a duty that must
not be overlooked.
A gentleman should ask for the lady of the house as well as the young
ladies, and leave cards for her as well as for the head of the family.

Improve Your
Speech by Reading.

ETIQUETTE IN YOUR SPEECH.

Don't say Miss or Mister without the person's name.
Don't say pants for trousers.
Don't say gents for gentlemen.
Don't say female for woman.
Don't say elegant to mean everything that pleases you.

Don't say genteel for well-bred.
Don't say ain't for isn't.
Don't say I done it for I did it.
Don't say he is older than me; say older than I.
Don't say she does not see any; say she does not see at all.
Don't say not as I know; say not that I know.
Don't say he calculates to get off; say he expects to get off.
Don't say he don't; say he doesn't.
Don't say she is some better; say she is somewhat better.
Don't say where are you stopping? say where are you staying?
Don't say you was; say you were.
Don't say I say, says I, but simply say I said.
Don't sign your letters yours etc., but yours truly.
Don't say lay for lie; lay expresses action; lie expresses rest.
Don't say them bonnets; say those bonnets.
Don't say party for person.
Don't say it looks beautifully, but say it looks beautiful.
Don't say feller, winder, to-morrer, for fellow, window, tomorrow.
Don't use slangy words; they are vulgar.
Don't use profane words; they are sinful and foolish.
Don't say it was her, when you mean it was she.
Don't say not at once for at once.
Don't say he gave me a recommend, but say he gave me a recommendation.

Don't say the two first for the first two.
Don't say he learnt me French; say he taught me French.
Don't say lit the fire; say lighted the fire.
Don't say the man which you saw; say the man whom you saw.
Don't say who done it; say who did it.
Don't say if I was rich I would buy a carriage; say if I were rich.
Don't say if I am not mistaken you are in the wrong; say if I mistake not.
Don't say who may you be; say who are you?
Don't say go lay down; say go lie down.
Don't say he is taller than me; say taller than I.
Don't say I shall call upon him; say I shall call on him.
Don't say I bought a new pair of shoes; say I bought a pair of new shoes.
Don't say I had rather not; say I would rather not.
Don't say two spoonsful; say two spoonfuls.

ETIQUETTE OF DRESS AND HABITS.

Don't let one day pass without a thorough cleansing of your person.
Don't sit down to your evening meal before a complete toilet if you have
company.
Don't cleanse your nails, your nose or your ears in public.
Don't use hair dye, hair oil or pomades.
Don't wear evening dress in daytime.

Don't wear jewelry of a gaudy character; genuine jewelry modestly worn is
not out of place.
Don't overdress yourself or walk affectedly.
Don't wear slippers or dressing-gown or smoking-jacket out of your own
house.
Don't sink your hands in your trousers' pockets.
Don't whistle in public places, nor inside of houses either.
Don't use your fingers or fists to beat a tattoo upon floor, desk or window
panes.
Don't examine other people's papers or letters scattered on their desk.
Don't bring a smell of spirits or tobacco into the presence of ladies.
Never use either in the presence of ladies.
Don't drink spirits; millions have tried it to their sorrow.

ETIQUETTE ON THE STREET.

1. Your conduct on the street should always be modest and dignified. Ladies
should carefully avoid all loud and boisterous conversation or laughter and
all undue liveliness in public.
2. When walking on the street do not permit yourself to be absent-minded,
as to fail to recognize a friend; do not go along reading a book or
newspaper.
3. In walking with a lady on the street give her the inner side of the walk,
unless the outside is the safer part; in which case she is entitled to it.
4. Your arm should not be given to any lady except your wife or a near
relative, or a very old lady, during the day, unless her comfort or safety
requires it. At night the arm should always be offered; also in ascending the
steps of a public building.

5. In crossing the street a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little
above her ankle with one hand. To raise the dress with both hands is vulgar,
except in places where the mud is very deep.
6. A gentleman meeting a lady acquaintance on the street should not
presume to join her in her walk without first asking her permission.
7. If you have anything to say to a lady whom you may happen to meet in
the street, however intimate you may be, do not stop her, but turn round and
walk in company with her; you can take leave at the end of the street.
8. A lady should not venture out upon the street alone after dark. By so
doing she compromises her dignity, and exposes herself to indignity at the
hands of the rougher class.
9. Never offer to shake hands with a lady in the street if you have on dark or
soiled gloves, as you may soil hers.
10. A lady does not form acquaintances upon the street, or seek to attract the
attention of the other sex or of persons of her own sex. Her conduct is
always modest and unassuming. Neither does a lady demand services or
favors from a gentleman. She accepts them graciously, always expressing
her thanks. A gentleman will not stand on the street corners, or in hotel
doorways, or store windows and gaze impertinently at ladies as they pass
by. This is the exclusive business of loafers.
11. In walking with a lady who has your arm, should you have to cross the
street, do not disengage your arm and go around upon the outside, unless
the lady's comfort renders it necessary. In walking with a lady, where it is
necessary for you to proceed singly, always go before her.

ETIQUETTE BETWEEN SEXES.

1. A lady should be a lady, and a gentleman a gentleman under any and all
circumstances.
2. Female Indifference to Man.—There is nothing that affects the nature
and pleasure of man so much as a proper and friendly recognition from a
lady, and as women are more or less dependent upon man's good-will,

either for gain or pleasure, it surely stands to their interest to be reasonably
pleasant and courteous in his presence or society. Indifference is always a
poor investment, whether in society or business.
3. Gallantry and Ladyism should be a prominent feature in the education
of young people. Politeness to ladies cultivates the intellect and refines the
soul, and he who can be easy and entertaining in the society of ladies has
mastered one of the greatest accomplishments. There is nothing taught in
school, academy or college, that contributes so much to the happiness of
man as a full development of his social and moral qualities.
4. Ladylike Etiquette.—No woman can afford to treat men rudely. A lady
must have a high intellectual and moral ideal and hold herself above
reproach. She must remember that the art of pleasing and entertaining
gentlemen is infinitely more ornamental than laces, ribbons or diamonds.
Dress and glitter may please man, but it will never benefit him.
5. Cultivate Deficiencies.—Men and women poorly sexed treat each other
with more or less indifference, whereas a hearty sexuality inspires both to a
right estimation of the faculties and qualities of each other. Those who are
deficient should seek society and overcome their deficiencies. While some
naturally inherit faculties as entertainers, others are compelled to acquire
them by cultivation.
6. Ladies' Society.—He who seeks ladies' society should
seek an education and should have a pure heart and a
pure mind. Read good, pure and wholesome literature
and study human nature, and you will always be a
favorite in the society circle.
7. Woman Haters.—Some men with little refinement
and strong sensual feelings virtually insult and thereby ASKING AN
HONEST
disgust and repel every female they meet. They look QUESTION.
upon woman with an inherent vulgarity, and doubt the
virtue and integrity of all alike. But it is because they are generally
insincere and impure themselves, and with such a nature culture and
refinement are out of the question, there must be a revolution.

8. Men Haters.—Women who look upon all men as odious, corrupt or
hateful, are no doubt so themselves, though they may be clad in silk and
sparkle with diamonds and be as pretty as a lily; but their hypocrisy will
out, and they can never win the heart of a faithful, conscientious and well
balanced man. A good woman has broad ideas and great sympathy. She
respects all men until they are proven unworthy.
9. Fond of Children.—The man who is naturally fond of children will
make a good husband and a good father. So it behooves the young man, to
notice children and cultivate the art of pleasing them. It will be a source of
interest, education and permanent benefit to all.
10. Excessive Luxury.—Although the association with ladies is an
expensive luxury, yet it is not an expensive education. It elevates, refines,
sanctifies and purifies, and improves the whole man. A young man who has
a pure and genuine respect for ladies, will not only make a good husband,
but a good citizen as well.
11. Masculine Attention.—No woman is entitled to any more attention
than her loveliness and ladylike conduct will command. Those who are
most pleasing will receive the most attention, and those who desire more
should aspire to acquire more by cultivating those graces and virtues which
ennoble woman, but no lady should lower or distort her own true ideal, or
smother and crucify her conscience, in order to please any living man. A
good man will admire a good woman, and deceptions cannot long be
concealed. Her show of dry goods or glitter of jewels cannot long cover up
her imperfections or deceptions.
12. Purity.—Purity of purpose will solve all social problems. Let all stand
on this exalted sexual platform, and teach every man just how to treat the
female sex, and every woman how to behave towards the masculine; and it
will incomparably adorn the manners of both, make both happy in each
other, and mutually develop each other's sexuality and humanity.

Practical Rules on Table Manners.
1. Help ladies with a due appreciation; do not overload
the plate of any person you serve. Never pour gravy on a
plate without permission. It spoils the meat for some
persons.
2. Never put anything by force upon any one's plate. It is extremely ill-bred,
though extremely common, to press one to eat of anything.
3. If at dinner you are requested to help any one to sauce or gravy, do not
pour it over the meat or vegetables, but on one side of them. Never load
down a person's plate with anything.
4. As soon as you are helped, begin to eat, or at least begin to occupy
yourself with what you have before you. Do not wait till your neighbors are
served—a custom that was long ago abandoned.
5. Should you, however, find yourself at a table where they have the old-
fashioned steel forks, eat with your knife, as the others do, and do not let it
be seen that you have any objection to doing so.
6. Bread should be broken. To butter a large piece of bread and then bite it,
as children do, is something the knowing never do.
7. In eating game or poultry do not touch the bones with your fingers. To
take a bone in the fingers for the purpose of picking it, is looked upon as
being very inelegant.
8. Never use your own knife or fork to help another. Use rather the knife or
fork of the person you help.
9. Never send your knife or fork, or either of them, on your plate when you
send for second supply.
10. Never turn your elbows out when you use your knife and fork. Keep
them close to your sides.

11. Whenever you use your fingers to convey anything to your mouth or to
remove anything from the mouth, let it be the fingers of the left hand.
12. Tea, coffee, chocolate and the like are drank from the cup and never
from the saucer.
13. In masticating your food, keep your mouth shut; otherwise you will
make a noise that will be very offensive to those around you.
14. Don't attempt to talk with a full mouth. One thing at a time is as much
as any man can do well.
15. Should you find a worm or insect in your food, say nothing about it.
16. If a dish is distasteful to you, decline it, and without comment.
17. Never put bones or bits of fruit on the table cloth. Put them on the side
of your plate.
18. Do not hesitate to take the last piece on the dish, simply because it is the
last. To do so is to directly express the fear that you would exhaust the
supply.
19. If you would be what you would like to be—abroad, take care that you
are what you would like to be—at home.
20. Avoid picking your teeth at the table if possible; but if you must, do it, if
you can, where you are not observed.
21. If an accident of any kind soever should occur during dinner, the cause
being who or what it may, you should not seem to note it.
22. Should you be so unfortunate as to overturn or to break anything, you
should make no apology. You might let your regret appear in your face, but
it would not be proper to put it in words.

Social Duties.

Man in Society is like a flower,
Blown in its native bed. 'Tis there alone
His faculties expanded in full bloom
Shine out, there only reach their proper use.—
Cowper.

The primal duties shine aloft like stars;
The charities that soothe, and heal, and bless,
Are scatter'd at the feet of man like flowers.—
Wordsworth.

1. Membership in Society.—Many fail to get hold of
the idea that they are members of society. They seem to
suppose that the social machinery of the world is self-
operating. They cast their first ballot with an emotion of
pride, perhaps, but are sure to pay their first tax with a
groan. They see political organizations in active
existence; the parish, and the church, and other
important bodies that embrace in some form of society
all men, are successfully operated; and yet these young GIVING A
men have no part or lot in the matter. They do not think PARLOR
of giving a day's time to society. RECITATION.

2. Begin Early.—One of the first things a young man should do is to see
that he is acting his part in society. The earlier this is begun the better. I
think that the opponents of secret societies in colleges have failed to
estimate the benefit which it must be to every member to be obliged to
contribute to the support of his particular organization, and to assume
personal care and responsibility as a member. If these societies have a
tendency to teach the lessons of which I speak, they are a blessed thing.
3. Do Your Part.—Do your part, and be a man among men. Assume your
portion of social responsibility, and see that you discharge it well. If you do
not do this, then you are mean, and society has the right to despise you just
as much as it chooses to do so. You are, to use a word more emphatic than

agreeable, a sneak, and have not a claim upon your neighbors for a single
polite word.
4. A Whining Complainer.—Society, as it is called, is far more apt to pay
its dues to the individual than the individual to society. Have you, young
man, who are at home whining over the fact that you cannot get into
society, done anything to give you a claim to social recognition? Are you
able to make any return for social recognition and social privileges? Do you
know anything? What kind of coin do you propose to pay in the discharge
of the obligation which comes upon you with social recognition? In other
words, as a return for what you wish to have society do for you, what can
you do for society? This is a very important question—more important to
you than to society. The question is, whether you will be a member of
society by right, or by courtesy. If you have so mean a spirit as to be content
to be a beneficiary of society—to receive favors and to confer none—you
have no business in the society to which you aspire. You are an exacting,
conceited fellow.
5. What Are You Good For?—Are you a good beau, and are you willing
to make yourself useful in waiting on the ladies on all occasions? Have you
a good set of teeth, which you are willing to show whenever the wit of the
company gets off a good thing? Are you a true, straightforward, manly
fellow, with whose healthful and uncorrupted nature it is good for society to
come in contact? In short, do you possess anything of any social value? If
you do, and are willing to impart it, society will yield itself to your touch. If
you have nothing, then society, as such, owes you nothing. Christian
philanthropy may put its arm around you, as a lonely young man, about to
spoil for want of something, but it is very sad and humiliating for a young
man to be brought to that. There are people who devote themselves to
nursing young men, and doing them good. If they invite you to tea, go by
all means, and try your hand. If, in the course of the evening, you can prove
to them that your society is desirable, you have won a point. Don't be
patronized.
6. The Morbid Condition.—Young men, you are apt to get into a morbid
state of mind, which declines them to social intercourse. They become
devoted to business with such exclusiveness, that all social intercourse is
irksome. They go out to tea as if they were going to jail, and drag

themselves to a party as to an execution. This disposition is thoroughly
morbid, and to be overcome by going where you are invited, always, and
with a sacrifice of feeling.
7. The Common Blunder.—Don't shrink from contact with anything but
bad morals. Men who affect your unhealthy minds with antipathy, will
prove themselves very frequently to be your best friends and most
delightful companions. Because a man seems uncongenial to you, who are
squeamish and foolish, you have no right to shun him. We become
charitable by knowing men. We learn to love those whom we have despised
by rubbing against them. Do you not remember some instance of meeting a
man or woman whom you had never previously known or cared to know—
an individual, perhaps, against whom you have entertained the strongest
prejudices—but to whom you became bound by a lifelong friendship
through the influence of a three days' intercourse? Yet, if you had not thus
met, you would have carried through life the idea that it would be
impossible for you to give your fellowship to such an individual.
8. The Foolishness of Man.—God has introduced into human character
infinite variety, and for you to say that you do not love and will not
associate with a man because he is unlike you, is not only foolish but
wrong. You are to remember that in the precise manner and decree in which
a man differs from you, do you differ from him; and that from his
standpoint you are naturally as repulsive to him, as he, from your
standpoint, is to you. So, leave all this talk of congeniality to silly girls and
transcendental dreamers.
9. Do Business in Your Way and Be Honest.—Do your
business in your own way, and concede to every man the
privilege which you claim for yourself. The more you
mix with men, the less you will be disposed to quarrel,
and the more charitable and liberal will you become. The
fact that you do not understand a man, is quite as likely
to be your fault as his. There are a good many chances in
favor of the conclusion that, if you fail to like an
individual whose acquaintance you make it is through GATHERING
ORANGES IN
your own ignorance and illiberality. So I say, meet every THE SUNNY
man honestly; seek to know him; and you will find that SOUTH.

in those points in which he differs from you rests his power to instruct you,
enlarge you, and do you good. Keep your heart open for everybody, and be
sure that you shall have your reward. You shall find a jewel under the most
uncouth exterior; and associated with homeliest manners and oddest ways
and ugliest faces, you will find rare virtues, fragrant little humanities, and
inspiring heroisms.
10. Without Society, Without Influence.—Again: you can have no
influence unless you are social. An unsocial man is as devoid of influence
as an ice-peak is of verdure. It is through social contact and absolute social
value alone that you can accomplish any great social good. It is through the
invisible lines which you are able to attach to the minds with which you are
brought into association alone that you can tow society, with its deeply
freighted interests, to the great haven of your hope.
11. The Revenge of Society.—The revenge which society takes upon the
man who isolates himself, is as terrible as it is inevitable. The pride which
sits alone will have the privilege of sitting alone in its sublime disgust till it
drops into the grave. The world sweeps by the man, carelessly,
remorselessly, contemptuously. He has no hold upon society, because he is
no part of it.
12. The Conclusion of the Whole Matter.—You cannot move men until
you are one of them. They will not follow you until they have heard your
voice, shaken your hand, and fully learned your principles and your
sympathies. It makes no difference how much you know, or how much you
are capable of doing. You may pile accomplishment upon acquisition
mountain high; but if you fail to be a social man, demonstrating to society
that your lot is with the rest, a little child with a song in its mouth, and a
kiss for all and a pair of innocent hands to lay upon the knees, shall lead
more hearts and change the direction of more lives than you.

Politeness.
1. Beautiful Behavior.—Politeness has been described as the art of
showing, by external signs, the internal regard we have for others. But one
may be perfectly polite to another without necessarily paying a special
regard for him. Good manners are neither more nor less than beautiful
behavior. It has been well said that "a beautiful form is better than a
beautiful face, and a beautiful behavior is better than a beautiful form; it
gives a higher pleasure than statues or pictures—it is the finest of the fine
arts."
2. True Politeness.—The truest politeness comes of sincerity. It must be the
outcome of the heart, or it will make no lasting impression; for no amount
of polish can dispense with truthfulness. The natural character must be
allowed to appear, freed of its angularities and asperities. Though
politeness, in its best form, should resemble water—"best when clearest,
most simple, and without taste"—yet genius in a man will always cover
many defects of manner, and much will be excused to the strong and the
original. Without genuineness and individuality, human life would lose
much of its interest and variety, as well as its manliness and robustness of
character.
3. Personality of Others.—True politeness especially exhibits itself in
regard for the personality of others. A man will respect the individuality of
another if he wishes to be respected himself. He will have due regard for his
views and opinions, even though they differ from his own. The well-
mannered man pays a compliment to another, and sometimes even secures
his respect by patiently listening to him. He is simply tolerant and
forbearant, and refrains from judging harshly; and harsh judgments of
others will almost invariably provoke harsh judgments of ourselves.
4. The Impolite.—The impolite, impulsive man will, however, sometimes
rather lose his friend than his joke. He may surely be pronounced a very
foolish person who secures another's hatred at the price of a moment's
gratification. It was a saying of Burnel, the engineer—himself one of the

kindest-natured of men—that "spite and ill-nature are among the most
expensive luxuries in life." Dr. Johnson once said: "Sir, a man has no more
right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down."
5. Feelings of Others.—Want of respect for the feelings of others usually
originates in selfishness, and issues in hardness and repulsiveness of
manner. It may not proceed from malignity so much, as from want of
sympathy, and want of delicacy—a want of that perception of, and attention
to, those little and apparently trifling things, by which pleasure is given or
pain occasioned to others. Indeed, it may be said that in self-sacrifice in the
ordinary intercourse of life, mainly consists the difference between being
well and ill bred. Without some degree of self-restraint in society a man
may be found almost insufferable. No one has pleasure in holding
intercourse with such a person, and he is a constant source of annoyance to
those about him.
6. Disregard of Others.—Men may show their disregard to others in
various impolite ways, as, for instance, by neglect of propriety in dress, by
the absence of cleanliness, or by indulging in repulsive habits. The slovenly,
dirty person, by rendering himself physically disagreeable, sets the tastes
and feelings of others at defiance, and is rude and uncivil, only under
another form.
7. The Best School of Politeness.—The first and best school of politeness,
as of character, is always the home, where woman is the teacher. The
manners of society at large are but the reflex of the manners of our
collective homes, neither better nor worse. Yet, with all the disadvantages of
ungenial homes, men may practice self-culture of manner as of intellect,
and learn by good examples to cultivate a graceful and agreeable behavior
towards others. Most men are like so many gems in the rough, which need
polishing by contact with other and better natures, to bring out their full
beauty and lustre. Some have but one side polished, sufficient only to show
the delicate graining of the interior; but to bring out the full qualities of the
gem, needs the discipline of experience, and contact with the best examples
of character in the intercourse of daily life.
8. Captiousness of Manner.—While captiousness of manner, and the habit
of disputing and contradicting every thing said, is chilling and repulsive, the

opposite habit of assenting to, and sympathizing with, every statement
made, or emotion expressed, is almost equally disagreeable. It is unmanly,
and is felt to be dishonest. "It may seem difficult," says Richard Sharp, "to
steer always between bluntness and plain dealing, between merited praises
and lavishing indiscriminate flattery; but it is very easy—good humor,
kindheartedness, and perfect simplicity, being all that are requisite to do
what is right in the right way." At the same time many are impolite, not
because they mean to be so, but because they are awkward, and perhaps
know no better.
9. Shy People.—Again many persons are thought to be stiff, reserved, and
proud, when they are only shy. Shyness is characteristic of most people of
the Teutonic race. From all that can be learned of Shakespeare, it is to be
inferred that he was an exceedingly shy man. The manner in which his
plays were sent into the world—for it is not known that he edited or
authorized the publication of a single one of them,—and the dates at which
they respectively appeared, are mere matters of conjecture.
10. Self-Forgetfulness.—True politeness is best evinced by self-
forgetfulness, or self-denial in the interest of others. Mr. Garfield, our
martyred president, was a gentleman of royal type. His friend, Col.
Rockwell, says of him: "In the midst of his suffering he never forgets
others. For instance, to-day he said to me, 'Rockwell, there is a poor
soldier's widow who came to me before this thing occurred, and I promised
her, she should be provided for. I want you to see that the matter is attended
to at once.' He is the most docile patient I ever saw."
11. Its Bright Side.—We have thus far spoken of shyness as a defect. But
there is another way of looking at it; for even shyness has its bright side,
and contains an element of good. Shy men and shy races are ungraceful and
undemonstrative, because, as regards society at large, they are
comparatively unsociable. They do not possess those elegancies of manner
acquired by free intercourse, which distinguish the social races, because
their tendency is to shun society rather than to seek it. They are shy in the
presence of strangers, and shy even in their own families. They hide their
affections under a robe of reserve, and when they do give way to their
feelings, it is only in some very hidden inner chamber. And yet, the feelings

are there, and not the less healthy and genuine, though they are not made
the subject of exhibition to others.
12. Worthy of Cultivation.—While, therefore, grace of manner, politeness
of behavior, elegance of demeanor, and all the arts that contribute to make
life pleasant and beautiful, are worthy of cultivation, it must not be at the
expense of the more solid and enduring qualities of honesty, sincerity, and
truthfulness. The fountain of beauty must be in the heart more than in the
eye, and if it does not tend to produce beautiful life and noble practice, it
will prove of comparatively little avail. Politeness of manner is not worth
much, unless it is accompanied by polite actions.

Influence of Good Character.
"Unless above himself he can
Erect himself, how poor a thing is man!"—Daniel.

"Character is moral order seen through the medium of an
individual nature—Men of character are the conscience of the
society to which they belong."—Emerson.

The purest treasure mortal times afford,
Is—spotless reputation; that away,
Men are but gilded loam, or painted clay.
A jewel in a ten-times-barr'd-up chest
Is—a bold Spirit in a loyal breast.—Shakspeare.

1. Reputation.—The two most precious things this side the grave are our
reputation and our life. But it is to be lamented that the most contemptible
whisper may deprive us of the one, and the weakest weapon of the other. A
wise man, therefore, will be more anxious to deserve a fair name than to
possess it, and this will teach him so to live, as not to be afraid to die.
2. Character.—Character is one of the greatest motive powers in the world.
In its noblest embodiments, it exemplifies human nature in its highest
forms, for it exhibits man at his best.
3. The Heart That Rules in Life.—Although genius always commands
admiration, character most secures respect. The former is more the product
of brain power, the latter of heart power; and in the long run it is the heart
that rules in life. Men of genius stand to society in the relation of its
intellect as men of character of its conscience: and while the former are
admired, the latter are followed.
4. The Highest Ideal of Life and Character.—Commonplace though it
may appear, this doing of one's duty embodies the highest ideal of life and
character. There may be nothing heroic about it; but the common lot of men
is not heroic. And though the abiding sense of duty upholds man in his

highest attitudes, it also equally sustains him in the transaction of the
ordinary affairs of every-day existence. Man's life is "centered in the sphere
of common duties." The most influential of all the virtues are those which
are the most in request for daily use. They wear the best, and last the
longest.
5. Wealth.—Wealth in the hands of men of weak purpose, or deficient self-
control, or of ill regulated passions, is only a temptation and a snare—the
source, it may be, of infinite mischief to themselves, and often to others.
On the contrary, a condition of comparative poverty is compatible with
character in its highest form. A man may possess only his industry, his
frugality, his integrity, and yet stand high in the rank of true manhood. The
advice which Burns' father gave him was the best:

"He bade me act a manly part, though I had ne'er a farthing,
For without an honest, manly heart no man was worth regarding."

6. Character is Property.—It is the noblest of possessions. It is an estate in
the general good-will and respect of men; they who invest in it—though
they may not become rich in this world's goods—will find their reward in
esteem and reputation fairly and honorably won. And it is right that in life
good qualities should tell—that industry, virtue, and goodness should rank
the highest—and that the really best men should be foremost.
7. Simple Honesty of Purpose.—This in a man goes a long way in life, if
founded on a just estimate of himself and a steady obedience to the rule he
knows and feels to be right. It holds a man straight, gives him strength and
sustenance, and forms a mainspring of vigorous action. No man is bound to
be rich or great—no, nor to be wise—but every man is bound to be honest
and virtuous.

Family Government.
1. Gentleness Must Characterize Every Act of
Authority.—The storm of excitement that may make the
child start, bears no relation to actual obedience. The
inner firmness, that sees and feels a moral conviction
and expects obedience, is only disguised and defeated by
bluster. The more calm and direct it is, the greater
certainty it has of dominion.
2. For the Government of Small Children.—For the
government of small children speak only in the authority HEAVENLY
of love, yet authority, loving and to be obeyed. The most MUSIC.
important lesson to impart is obedience to authority as
authority. The question of salvation with most children will be settled as
soon as they learn to obey parental authority. It establishes a habit and order
of mind that is ready to accept divine authority. This precludes skepticism
and disobedience, and induces that childlike trust and spirit set forth as a
necessary state of salvation. Children that are never made to obey are left to
drift into the sea of passion where the pressure for surrender only tends to
drive them at greater speed from the haven of safety.
3. Habits of Self-Denial.—Form in the child habits of self-denial.
Pampering never matures good character.
4. Emphasize Integrity.—Keep the moral tissues tough in integrity; then it
will hold a hook of obligations when once set in a sure place. There is
nothing more vital. Shape all your experiments to preserve the integrity. Do
not so reward it that it becomes mercenary. Turning State's evidence is a
dangerous experiment in morals. Prevent deceit from succeeding.
5. Guard Modesty.—To be brazen is to imperil some of the best elements
of character. Modesty may be strengthened into a becoming confidence, but
brazen facedness can seldom be toned down into decency. It requires the
miracle of grace.

6. Protect Purity.—Teach your children to loathe impurity. Study the
character of their playmates. Watch their books. Keep them from corruption
at all cost. The groups of youth in the school and in society, and in business
places, seed with improprieties of word and thought. Never relax your
vigilance along this exposed border.
7. Threaten the Least Possible.—In family government
threaten the least possible. Some parents rattle off their
commands with penalties so profusely that there is a
steady roar of hostilities about the child's head. These
threats are forgotten by the parent and unheeded by the
child. All government is at an end.
8. Do Not Enforce Too Many Commands.—Leave a
few things within the range of the child's knowledge that BOTH PUZZLED.
are not forbidden. Keep your word good, but do not have
too much of it out to be redeemed.
9. Punish as Little as Possible.—Sometimes punishment is necessary, but
the less it is resorted to the better.
10. Never Punish in a Passion.—Wrath only becomes cruelty. There is no
moral power in it. When you seem to be angry you can do no good.
11. Brutish Violence Only Multiplies Offenders.—Striking and beating
the body seldom reaches the soul. Fear and hatred beget rebellion.
12. Punish Privately.—Avoid punishments that break down self-respect.
Striking the body produces shame and indignation. It is enough for the other
children to know that discipline is being administered.
13. Never Stop Short of Success.—When the child is not conquered the
punishment has been worse than wasted. Reach the point where neither
wrath nor sullenness remain. By firm persistency and persuasion require an
open look of recognition and peace. It is only evil to stir up the devil unless
he is cast out. Ordinarily one complete victory will last a child for a
lifetime. But if the child relapses, repeat the dose with proper
accompaniments.

14. Do Not Require Children to Complain of Themselves for Pardon.—
It begets either sycophants or liars. It is the part of the government to detect
offences. It reverses the order of matters to shirk this duty.
15. Grade Authority Up to Liberty.—The growing child must have
experiments of freedom. Lead him gently into the family. Counsel with
him. Let him plan as he can. By and by he has the confidence of courage
without the danger of exposures.
16. Respect.—Parents must respect each other. Undermining either
undermines both. Always govern in the spirit of love.

CONVERSATION.
Some men are very entertaining for a first
interview, but after that they are exhausted, and
run out; on a second meeting we shall find them
very flat and monotonous; like hand-organs, we
have heard all their tunes.—Coulton.
He who sedulously attends, pointedly asks, calmly speaks, coolly
answers, and ceases when he has no more to say, is in possession
of some of the best requisites of man.—Lavater.
Beauty is never so lovely as when adorned with the smile, and
conversation never sits easier upon us than when we know and
then discharge ourselves in a symphony of Laughter, which may
not improperly be called the Chorus of Conversation.—Steele.
The first ingredient in Conversation is Truth, the next Good
Sense, the third Good Humor, and the fourth Wit.—Sir William
Temple.

Home Lessons in Conversation.

Say nothing unpleasant when it can be avoided.
Avoid satire and sarcasm.
Never repeat a word that was not intended for repetition.
Cultivate the supreme wisdom, which consists less in saying what ought to
be said than in not saying what ought not to be said.
Often cultivate "flashes of silence."
It is the larger half of the conversation to listen well.
Listen to others patiently, especially the poor.

Sharp sayings are an evidence of low breeding.
Shun faultfindings and faultfinders.
Never utter an uncomplimentary word against anyone.
Compliments delicately hinted and sincerely intended are a grace in
conversation.
Commendation of gifts and cleverness properly put are in good taste, but
praise of beauty is offensive.
Repeating kind expressions is proper.
Compliments given in a joke may be gratefully received in earnest.
The manner and tone are important parts of a compliment.
Avoid egotism.
Don't talk of yourself, or of your friends or your deeds.
Give no sign that you appreciate your own merits.
Do not become a distributer of the small talk of a community. The smiles of
your auditors do not mean respect.
Avoid giving the impression of one filled with "suppressed egotism."
Never mention your own peculiarities; for culture destroys vanity.
Avoid exaggeration.
Do not be too positive.
Do not talk of display oratory.
Do not try to lead in conversation, looking around to enforce silence.
Lay aside affected silly etiquette for the natural dictates of the heart.
Direct the conversation where others can join with you and impart to you
useful information.

Avoid oddity. Eccentricity is shallow vanity.
Be modest.
Be what you wish to seem.
Avoid repeating a brilliant or clever saying.
If you find bashfulness or embarrassment coming upon
you, do or say something at once. The commonest matter
gently stated is better than an embarrassing silence.
Sometimes changing your position, or looking into a
book for a moment may relieve your embarrassment, and THINKING ONLY
dispel any settling stiffness. OF DRESS.

Avoid telling many stories, or repeating a story more than once in the same
company.
Never treat any one as if you simply wanted him to tell stories. People
laugh and despise such a one.
Never tell a coarse story. No wit or preface can make it excusable.
Tell a story, if at all, only as an illustration, and not for itself. Tell it
accurately.
Be careful in asking questions for the purpose of starting conversation or
drawing out a person, not to be rude or intrusive.
Never take liberties by staring, or by any rudeness.
Never infringe upon any established regulations among strangers.
Do not always prove yourself to be the one in the right. The right will
appear. You need only give it a chance.
Avoid argument in conversation. It is discourteous to your host.
Cultivate paradoxes in conversation with your peers. They add interest to
common-place matters. To strike the harmless faith of ordinary people in
any public idol is waste, but such a movement with those able to reply is
better.

Never discourse upon your ailments.
Never use words of the meaning or pronunciation of which you are
uncertain.
Avoid discussing your own or other people's domestic concerns.
Never prompt a slow speaker, as if you had all the ability. In conversing
with a foreigner who may be learning our language, it is excusable to help
him in some delicate way.
Never give advice unasked.
Do not manifest impatience.
Do not interrupt another when speaking.
Do not find fault, though you may gently criticise.
Do not appear to notice inaccuracies of speech in others.
Do not always commence a conversation by allusion to the weather.
Do not, when narrating an incident, continually say, "you see," "you know."
Do not allow yourself to lose temper or speak excitedly.
Do not introduce professional or other topics that the company generally
cannot take an interest in.
Do not talk very loud. A firm, clear, distinct, yet mild, gentle, and musical
voice has great power.
Do not be absent-minded, requiring the speaker to repeat what has been said
that you may understand.
Do not try to force yourself into the confidence of others.
Do not use profanity, vulgar terms, words of double meaning, or language
that will bring the blush to anyone.
Do not allow yourself to speak ill of the absent one if it can be avoided. The
day may come when some friend will be needed to defend you in your

absence.
Do not speak with contempt and ridicule of a locality which you may be
visiting. Find something to truthfully praise and commend; thus make
yourself agreeable.
Do not make a pretense of gentility, nor parade the fact that you are a
descendant of any notable family. You must pass for just what you are, and
must stand on your own merit.
Do not contradict. In making a correction say, "I beg your pardon, but I had
the impression that it was so and so." Be careful in contradicting, as you
may be wrong yourself.
Do not be unduly familiar; you will merit contempt if you are. Neither
should you be dogmatic in your assertions, arrogating to yourself such
consequences in your opinions.
Do not be too lavish in your praise of various members of your own family
when speaking to strangers; the person to whom you are speaking may
know some faults that you do not.
Do not feel it incumbent upon yourself to carry your point in conversation.
Should the person with whom you are conversing feel the same, your talk
may lead into violent argument.
Do not try to pry into the private affairs of others by asking what their
profits are, what things cost, whether Melissa ever had a beau, and why
Amarette never got married? All such questions are extremely impertinent
and are likely to meet with rebuke.
Do not whisper in company; do not engage in private conversation; do not
speak a foreign language which the general company present may not
understand, unless it is understood that the foreigner is unable to speak your
own language.

OR

The Care of the Person.

IMPORTANT RULES.

1. Good Appearance.—The first care of all persons
should be for their personal appearance. Those who are
slovenly or careless in their habits are unfit for refined
society, and cannot possibly make a good appearance in
it. A well-bred person will always cultivate habits of the
most scrupulous neatness. A gentleman or lady is always
well dressed. The garment may be plain or of coarse Widower Jones and
Widow Smith.
material, or even worn "thin and shiny," but if it is
carefully brushed and neat it can be worn with dignity.
2. Personal Cleanliness.—Personal appearance depends greatly on the
careful toilet and scrupulous attention to dress. The first point which marks
the gentleman or lady in appearance is rigid cleanliness. This remark
supplies to the body and everything which covers it. A clean skin—only to
be secured by frequent baths—is indispensable.
3. The Teeth.—The teeth should receive the utmost attention. Many a
young man has been disgusted with a lady by seeing her unclean and
discolored teeth. It takes but a few moments, and if necessary secure some
simple tooth powder or rub the teeth thoroughly every day with a linen
handkerchief, and it will give the teeth and mouth a beautiful and clean
appearance.
4. The Hair and Beard.—The hair should be thoroughly brushed and well
kept, and the beard of men properly trimmed. Men should not let their hair
grow long and shaggy.
5. Underclothing.—The matter of cleanliness extends to all articles of
clothing, underwear as well as the outer clothing. Cleanliness is a mark of
true utility. The clothes need not necessarily be of a rich and expensive

quality, but they can all be kept clean. Some persons have an odor about
them that is very offensive, simply on account of their underclothing being
worn too long without washing. This odor of course cannot be detected by
the person who wears the soiled garments, but other persons easily detect it
and are offended by it.
6. The Bath.—No person should think for a moment that they can be
popular in society without regular bathing. A bath should be taken at least
once a week, and if the feet perspire they should be washed several times a
week, as the case may require. It is not unfrequent that young men are seen
with dirty ears and neck. This is unpardonable and boorish, and shows gross
neglect. Occasionally a young lady will be called upon unexpectedly when
her neck and smiling face are not emblems of cleanliness. Every lady owes
it to herself to be fascinating; every gentleman is bound, for his own sake,
to be presentable; but beyond this there is the obligation to society, to one's
friends, and to those with whom we may be brought in contact.
7. Soiled Garments.—A young man's garments may not be expensive, yet
there is no excuse for wearing a soiled collar and a soiled shirt, or carrying
a soiled handkerchief. No one should appear as though he had slept in a
stable, shaggy hair, soiled clothing or garments indifferently put on and
carelessly buttoned. A young man's vest should always be kept buttoned in
the presence of ladies.
8. The Breath.—Care should be taken to remedy an offensive breath
without delay. Nothing renders one so unpleasant to one's acquaintance, or
is such a source of misery to one's self. The evil may be from some
derangement of the stomach or some defective condition of the teeth, or
catarrhal affection of the throat and nose. See remedies in other portions of
the book.

A YOUNG MAN'S PERSONAL APPEARANCE.

Dress changes the manners.—Voltaire.
Whose garments wither, shall receive faded smiles.—Sheridan
Knowles.

Men of sense follow fashion so far that they are neither
conspicuous for their excess nor peculiar by their opposition to it.
—Anonymous.

1. A well-dressed man does not require so much an extensive as a varied
wardrobe. He does not need a different suit for every season and every
occasion, but if he is careful to select clothes that are simple and not
striking or conspicuous, he may use the garment over and over again
without their being noticed, provided they are suitable to the season and the
occasion.
2. A clean shirt, collar and cuffs always make a young man look neat and
tidy, even if his clothes are not of the latest pattern and are somewhat
threadbare.
3. Propriety is outraged when a man of sixty dresses like a youth of sixteen.
It is bad manners for a gentleman to use perfumes to a noticeable extent.
Avoid affecting singularity in dress. Expensive clothes are no sign of a
gentleman.
4. When dressed for company, strive to appear easy and
natural. Nothing is more distressing to a sensitive person, or
more ridiculous to one gifted with refinement, than to see a
lady laboring under the consciousness of a fine gown; or a
gentleman who is stiff, awkward and ungainly in a brand-
new coat.
5. Avoid what is called the "ruffianly style of dress" or the
slouchy appearance of a half-unbottoned vest, and The Dude of
suspenderless pantaloons. That sort of affectation is, if the 17th
possible, even more disgusting than the painfully elaborate Century.
frippery of the dandy or dude. Keep your clothes well
brushed and keep them cleaned. Slight spots can be removed with a little
sponge and soap and water.
6. A gentleman should never wear a high hat unless he has on a frock coat
or a dress suit.

7. A man's jewelry should be good and simple. Brass or false jewelry, like
other forms of falsehood, is vulgar. Wearing many cheap decorations is a
serious fault.
8. If a man wears a ring it should be on the third finger of the left hand. This
is the only piece of jewelry a man is allowed to wear that does not serve a
purpose.
9. Wearing imitations of diamonds is always in very bad taste.
10. Every man looks better in a full beard it he keeps it well trimmed. If a
man shaves he should shave at least every other day, unless he is in the
country.
11. The finger-nails should be kept cut, and the teeth should be cleaned
every morning, and kept clear from tartar. A man who does not keep his
teeth clean does not look like a gentleman when he shows them.

Dress.
We sacrifice to dress, till household joys
And comforts cease. Dress drains our cellar dry,
And keeps our larder lean. Puts out our fires,
And introduces hunger, frost and woe,
Where peace and hospitality might reign.—Cowper.

1. God is a Lover of Dress.—We cannot but feel that
God is a lover of dress. He has put on robes of beauty
and glory upon all his works. Every flower is dressed in
richness; every field blushes beneath a mantle of beauty;
every star is veiled in brightness; every bird is clothed in
the habiliments of the most exquisite taste. The cattle
upon the thousand hills are dressed by the hand divine. Who, studying God
in his works, can doubt, that he will smile upon the evidence of correct taste
manifested by his children in clothing the forms he has made them?
2. Love of Dress.—To love dress is not to be a slave of fashion; to love
dress only is the test of such homage. To transact the business of charity in a
silken dress, and to go in a carriage to the work, injures neither the work nor
the worker. The slave of fashion is one who assumes the livery of a
princess, and then omits the errand of the good human soul; dresses in
elegance, and goes upon no good errand, and thinks and does nothing of
value to mankind.
3. Beauty in Dress.—Beauty in dress is a good thing, rail at it who may.
But it is a lower beauty, for which a higher beauty should not be sacrificed.
They love dresses too much who give it their first thought, their best time,
or all their money; who for it neglect the culture of their mind or heart, or
the claims of others on their service; who care more for their dress than
their disposition; who are troubled more by an unfashionable bonnet than a
neglected duty.

4. Simplicity of Dress.—Female lovliness never appears to so good
advantage as when set off by simplicity of dress. No artist ever decks his
angels with towering feathers and gaudy jewelry; and our dear human
angels—if they would make good their title to that name—should carefully
avoid ornaments, which properly belong to Indian squaws and African
princesses. These tinselries may serve to give effect on the stage, or upon
the ball room floor, but in daily life there is no substitute for the charm of
simplicity. A vulgar taste is not to be disguised by gold or diamonds. The
absence of a true taste and refinement of delicacy cannot be compensated
for by the possession of the most princely fortune. Mind measures gold, but
gold cannot measure mind. Through dress the mind may be read, as through
the delicate tissue the lettered page. A modest woman will dress modestly; a
really refined and intelligent woman will bear the marks of careful selection
and faultless taste.
5. People of Sense.—A coat that has the mark of use upon it, is a
recommendation to the people of sense, and a hat with too much nap, and
too high lustre, a derogatory circumstance. The best coats in our streets are
worn on the backs of penniless fops, broken down merchants, clerks with
pitiful salaries, and men that do not pay up. The heaviest gold chains dangle
from the fobs of gamblers and gentlemen of very limited means; costly
ornaments on ladies, indicate to the eyes that are well opened, the fact of a
silly lover or husband cramped for funds.
6. Plain and Neat.—When a pretty woman goes by in plain and neat
apparel, it is the presumption that she has fair expectations, and a husband
that can show a balance in his favor. For women are like books,—too much
gilding makes men suspicious, that the binding is the most important part.
The body is the shell of the soul, and the dress is the husk of the body; but
the husk generally tells what the kernel is. As a fashionably dressed young
lady passed some gentlemen, one of them raised his hat, whereupon
another, struck by the fine appearance of the lady, made some inquiries
concerning her, and was answered thus: "She makes a pretty ornament in
her father's house, but otherwise is of no use."
7. The Richest Dress.—The richest dress is always worn on the soul. The
adornments that will not perish, and that all men most admire, shine from
the heart through this life. God has made it our highest, holiest duty, to

dress the soul he has given us. It is wicked to waste it in frivolity. It is a
beautiful, undying, precious thing. If every young woman would think of
her soul when she looks in the glass, would hear the cry of her naked mind
when she dallies away her precious hours at her toilet, would listen to the
sad moaning of her hollow heart, as it wails through her idle, useless life,
something would be done for the elevation of womanhood.
8. Dressing Up.—Compare a well-dressed body with a well-dressed mind.
Compare a taste for dress with a taste for knowledge, culture, virtue, and
piety. Dress up an ignorant young woman in the "height of fashion"; put on
plumes and flowers, diamonds and gewgaws; paint her face, girt up her
waist, and I ask you, if this side of a painted and feathered savage you can
find anything more unpleasant to behold. And yet such young women we
meet by the hundred every day on the street and in all our public places. It
is awful to think of.
9. Dress Affects our Manners.—A man who is badly dressed, feels chilly,
sweaty, and prickly. He stammers, and does not always tell the truth. He
means to, perhaps, but he can't. He is half distracted about his pantaloons,
which are much to short, and are constantly hitching up; or his frayed jacket
and crumpled linen harrow his soul, and quite unman him. He treads on the
train of a lady's dress, and says, "Thank you", sits down on his hat, and
wishes the "desert were his dwelling place."

Beauty.
"She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies:
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet her in aspect and in her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies."—Byron.

1. The Highest Style of Beauty.—The highest style of
beauty to be found in nature pertains to the human form,
as animated and lighted up by the intelligence within. It
is the expression of the soul that constitutes this superior
beauty. It is that which looks out of the eye, which sits in
calm majesty on the brow, lurks on the lip, smiles on the
cheek, is set forth in the chiselled lines and features of
the countenance, in the general contour of figure and
form, in the movement, and gesture, and tone; it is this
looking out of the invisible spirit that dwells within, this manifestation of
the higher nature, that we admire and love; this constitutes to us the beauty
of our species.
2. Beauty Which Perishes Not.—There is a beauty which perishes not. It
is such as the angels wear. It forms the washed white robes of the saints. It
wreathes the countenance of every doer of good. It adorns every honest
face. It shines in the virtuous life. It molds the hands of charity. It sweetens
the voice of sympathy. It sparkles on the brow of wisdom. It flashes in the
eye of love. It breathes in the spirit of piety. It is the beauty of the heaven of
heavens. It is that which may grow by the hand of culture in every human
soul. It is the flower of the spirit which blossoms on the tree of life. Every
soul may plant and nurture it in its own garden, in its own Eden.
3. We May All Be Beautiful.—This is the capacity of beauty that God has
given to the human soul, and this the beauty placed within the reach of all.
We may all be beautiful. Though our forms may be uncomely and our

features not the prettiest, our spirits may be beautiful. And this inward
beauty always shines through. A beautiful heart will flash out in the eye. A
lovely soul will glow in the face. A sweet spirit will tune the voice, wreathe
the countenance in charms. Oh, there is a power in interior beauty that melts
the hardest heart!
4. Woman the Most Perfect Type of Beauty.—Woman, by common
consent, we regard as the most perfect type of beauty on earth. To her we
ascribe the highest charms belonging to this wonderful element so profusely
mingled in all God's works. Her form is molded and finished in exquisite
delicacy of perfection. The earth gives us no form more perfect, no features
more symmetrical, no style more chaste, no movements more graceful, no
finish more complete; so that our artists ever have and ever will regard the
woman-form of humanity as the most perfect earthly type of beauty. This
form is most perfect and symmetrical in the youth of womanhood; so that
the youthful woman is earth's queen of beauty. This is true, not only by the
common consent of mankind, but also by the strictest rules of scientific
criticism.
5. Fadeless Beauty.—There cannot be a picture without
its bright spots; and the steady contemplation of what is
bright in others, has a reflex influence upon the beholder.
It reproduces what it reflects. Nay, it seems to leave an
impress even upon the countenance. The feature, from A REJECTED
having a dark, sinister aspect, becomes open, serene, and LOVER.
sunny. A countenance so impressed, has neither the
vacant stare of the idiot, nor the crafty, penetrating look of the basilisk, but
the clear, placid aspect of truth and goodness. The woman who has such a
face is beautiful. She has a beauty which changes not with the features,
which fades not with years. It is beauty of expression. It is the only kind of
beauty which can be relied upon for a permanent influence with the other
sex. The violet will soon cease to smile. Flowers must fade. The love that
has nothing but beauty to sustain it, soon withers away.
6. A Pretty Woman Pleases the Eye, a good woman, the heart. The one is
a jewel, the other a treasure. Invincible fidelity, good humor, and
complacency of temper, outlive all the charms of a fine face, and make the

decay of it invisible. That is true beauty which has not only a substance, but
a spirit; a beauty that we must intimately know to justly appreciate.
7. The Woman You Love Best.—Beauty, dear reader, is probably the
woman you love best, but we trust it is the beauty of soul and character,
which sits in calm majesty on the brow, lurks on the lip, and will outlive
what is called a fine face.
8. The Wearing of Ornaments.—Beauty needs not the foreign aid of
ornament, but is when unadorned adorned the most, is a trite observation;
but with a little qualification it is worthy of general acceptance. Aside from
the dress itself, ornaments should be very sparingly used—at any rate, the
danger lies in over-loading oneself, and not in using too few. A young girl,
and especially one of a light and airy style of beauty, should never wear
gems. A simple flower in her hair or on her bosom is all that good taste will
permit. When jewels or other ornaments are worn, they should be placed
where you desire the eye of the spectator to rest, leaving the parts to which
you do not want attention called as plain and negative as possible. There is
no surer sign of vulgarity than a profusion of heavy jewelry carried about
upon the person.

Sensible Helps to Beauty.
1. For Scrawny Neck.—Take off your tight collars,
feather boas and such heating things. Wash neck and
chest with hot water, then rub in sweet oil all that you
can work in. Apply this every night before you retire and
leave the skin damp with it while you sleep.
2. For Red Hands.—Keep your feet warm by soaking
them often in hot water, and keep your hands out of the
water as much as possible. Rub your hands with the skin
of a lemon and it will whiten them. If your skin will bear glycerine after
you have washed, pour into the palm a little glycerine and lemon juice
mixed, and rub over the hands and wipe off.
3. Neck and Face.—Do not bathe the neck and face just before or after
being out of doors. It tends to wrinkle the skin.
4. Scowls.—Never allow yourself to scowl, even if the sun be in your eyes.
That scowl will soon leave its trace and no beauty will outlive it.
5. Wrinkled Forehead.—If you wrinkle your forehead when you talk or
read, visit an oculist and have your eyes tested, and then wear glasses to fit
them.
6. Old Looks.—Sometimes your face looks old because it is tired. Then
apply the following wash and it will make you look younger: Put three
drops of ammonia, a little borax, a tablespoonful of bay rum, and a few
drops of camphor into warm water and apply to your face. Avoid getting it
into your eyes.
7. The Best Cosmetic.—Squeeze the juice of a lemon into a pint of sweet
milk. Wash the face with it every night and in the morning wash off with
warm rain water. This will produce a very beautiful effect upon the skin.
8. Spots on the Face.—Moles and many other discolorations may be
removed from the face by a preparation composed of one part chemically

pure carbolic acid and two parts pure glycerine. Touch the spots with a
camel's-hair pencil, being careful that the preparation does not come in
contact with the adjacent skin. Five minutes after touching, bathe with soft
water and apply a little vaseline. It may be necessary to repeat the
operation, but if persisted in, the blemishes will be entirely removed.
9. Wrinkles.—This prescription is said to cure wrinkles: Take one ounce of
white wax and melt it to a gentle heat. Add two ounces of the juice of lily
bulbs, two ounces of honey, two drams of rose water, and a drop or two of
ottar of roses. Apply twice a day, rubbing the wrinkles the wrong way.
Always use tepid water for washing the face.
10. The Hair.—The hair must be kept free from dust or it will fall out. One
of the best things for cleaning it, is a raw egg rubbed into the roots and then
washed out in several waters. The egg furnishes material for the hair to
grow on, while keeping the scalp perfectly clean. Apply once a month.
11. Loss of Hair.—When through sickness or headache the hair falls out,
the following tonic may be applied with good effect: Use one ounce of
glycerine, one ounce of bay rum, one pint of strong sage tea, and apply
every other night, rubbing well into the scalp.

How to Keep the Bloom and Grace of Youth.
THE SECRET OF ITS PRESERVATION.

1. The question most often asked by women is regarding
the art of retaining, with advancing years, the bloom and
grace of youth. This secret is not learned through the
analysis of chemical compounds, but by a thorough
study of nature's laws peculiar to their sex. It is useless
for women with wrinkled faces, dimmed eyes and
blemished skins to seek for external applications of
beautifying balms and lotions to bring the glow of life
and health into the face, and yet there are truths, simple MRS. WM.
yet wonderful, whereby the bloom of early life can be MCKINLEY.
restored and retained, as should be the heritage of all
God's children, sending the light of beauty into every woman's face. The
secret:
2. Do not bathe in hard water; soften it with a few drops of ammonia, or a
little borax.
3. Do not bathe the face while it is very warm, and never use very cold
water.
4. Do not attempt to remove dust with cold water; give your face a hot bath,
using plenty of good soap, then give it a thorough rinsing with warm water.
5. Do not rub your face with a coarse towel.
6. Do not believe you can remove wrinkles by filling in the crevices with
powder. Give your face a Russian bath every night; that is, bathe it with
water so hot that you wonder how you can bear it, and then, a minute after,
with moderately cold water, that will make your face glow with warmth;
dry it with a soft towel.

Form and Deformity.
1. Physical Deformities.—Masquerading is a modern
accomplishment. Girls wear tight shoes, burdensome
skirts, corsets, etc., all of which prove so fatal to their
health. At the age of seventeen or eighteen, our "young
ladies" are sorry specimens of feminality; and
palpitators, cosmetics and all the modern paraphernalia
are required to make them appear fresh and blooming. MALE. FEMALE.
Showing the
Man is equally at fault. A devotee to all the absurd Difference in Form
devices of fashion, he practically asserts that "dress and Proportion.
makes the man." But physical deformities are of far less
importance than moral imperfections.
2. Development of the Individual.—It is not possible for human beings to
attain their full stature of humanity, except by loving long and perfectly.
Behold that venerable man! he is mature in judgment, perfect in every
action and expression, and saintly in goodness. You almost worship as you
behold. What rendered him thus perfect? What rounded off his natural
asperities, and moulded up his virtues? Love, mainly. It permeated every
pore, and seasoned every fibre of his being, as could nothing else. Mark that
matronly woman. In the bosom of her family she is more than a queen and
goddess combined. All her looks and actions express the outflowing of
some or all of the human virtues. To know her is to love her. She became
thus perfect, not in a day or year, but by a long series of appropriate means.
Then by what? Chiefly in and by love, which is specially adapted thus to
develop this maturity.
3. Physical Stature.—Men and women generally increase in stature until
the twenty-fifth year, and it is safe to assume, that perfection of function is
not established until maturity of bodily development is completed. The
physical contour of these representations plainly exhibits the difference in
structure, and also implies difference of function. Solidity and strength are
represented by the organization of the male, grace and beauty by that of the

female. His broad shoulders represent physical power and the right of
dominion, while her bosom is the symbol of love and nutrition.

HOW TO DETERMINE A PERFECT HUMAN FIGURE.

The proportions of the perfect human figure are strictly
mathematical. The whole figure is six times the length of the
foot. Whether the form be slender or plump, this rule holds
good. Any deviation from it is a departure from the highest
beauty of proportion. The Greeks made all their statues
according to this rule. The face, from the highest point of the
forehead, where the hair begins, to the end of the chin, is
one-tenth of the whole stature. The hand, from the wrist to
the end of the middle finger, is the same. The chest is a
fourth, and from the nipples to the top of the head is the Lady's Dress
same. From the top of the chest to the highest point of the in the days of
Greece.
forehead is a seventh. If the length of the face, from the roots
of the hair to the chin, be divided into three equal parts, the first division
determines the point where the eyebrows meet, and the second the place of
the nostrils. The navel is the central point of the human body, and if a man
should lie on his back with his arms and legs extended, the periphery of the
circle which might be described around him, with the navel for its center,
would touch the extremities of his hands and feet. The height from the feet
to the top of the head is the same as the distance from the extremity of one
hand to the extremity of the other when the arms are extended.
The Venus de Medici is considered the most perfect model of the female
forms, and has been the admiration of the world for ages. Alexander
Walker, after minutely describing this celebrated statue, says: "All these
admirable characteristics of the female form, the mere existence of which in
woman must, one is temped to imagine, be, even to herself, a source of
ineffable pleasure, these constitute a being worthy, as the personification of
beauty, of occupying the temples of Greece; present an object finer, alas,
than Nature even seems capable of producing; and offer to all nations and
ages a theme of admiration and delight." Well might Thomson say:

So stands the statue that enchants the world,

So, bending, tries to vail the matchless boast—
The mingled beauties of exulting Greece.

We beg our readers to observe the form of the waist (evidently innocent of
corsets and tight dresses) of this model woman, and also that of the Greek
Slave in the accompanying outlines. These forms are such as unperverted
nature and the highest art alike require. To compress the waist, and thereby
change its form, pushing the ribs inward, displacing the vital organs, and
preventing the due expansion of the lungs, is as destructive to beauty as it is
to health.

THE HISTORY, MYSTERY, BENEFITS AND INJURIES OF
THE CORSET.

1. The origin of the corset is lost in remote antiquity. The
figures of the early Egyptian women show clearly an
artificial shape of the waist produced by some style of
corset. A similar style of dress must also have prevailed
among the ancient Jewish maidens; for Isaiah, in calling
upon the women to put away their personal adornments,
says: "Instead of a girdle there shall be a rent, and instead of
The Corset in
a stomacher (corset) a girdle of sackcloth." the 18th
Century.
2. Homer also tells us of the cestus or girdle of Venus, which
was borrowed by the haughty Juno with a view to increasing her personal
attractions, that Jupiter might be a more tractable and orderly husband.
3. Coming down to the later times, we find the corset was used in France
and England as early as the 12th century.
4. The most extensive and extreme use of the corset occurred in the 16th
century, during the reign of Catherine de Medici of France and Queen
Elizabeth of England. With Catherine de Medici a thirteen-inch waist
measurement was considered the standard of fashion, while a thick waist
was an abomination. No lady could consider her figure of proper shape
unless she could span her waist with her two hands. To produce this result a
strong rigid corset was worn night and day until the waist was laced down
to the required size. Then over this corset was placed the steel apparatus

shown in the illustration on next page. This corset-cover reached from the
hip to the throat, and produced a rigid figure over which the dress would fit
with perfect smoothness.
5. During the 18th century corsets were largely made from a species of
leather known as "Bend," which was not unlike that used for shoe soles, and
measured nearly a quarter of an inch in thickness. One of the most popular
corsets of the time was the corset and stomacher shown in the
accompanying illustration.
6. About the time of the French Revolution a reaction set in
against tight lacing, and for a time there was a return to the
early classical Greek costume. This style of dress prevailed,
with various modifications, until about 1810, when corsets
and tight lacing again returned with threefold fury. Buchan, a
prominent writer of this period, says that it was by no means
uncommon to see "a mother lay her daughter down upon the
carpet, and, placing her foot upon her back, break half a Steel Corset
worn in
dozen laces in tightening her stays." Catherine's
time.
7. It is reserved to our own time to demonstrate that corsets
and tight lacing do not necessarily go hand in hand. Distortion and
feebleness are not beauty. A proper proportion should exist between the size
of the waist and the breadth of the shoulders and hips, and if the waist is
diminished below this proportion, it suggests disproportion and invalidism
rather than grace and beauty.
8. The perfect corset is one which possesses just that degree of rigidity
which will prevent it from wrinkling, but will at the same time allow
freedom in the bending and twisting of the body. Corsets boned with
whalebone, horn or steel are necessarily stiff, rigid and uncomfortable.
After a few days' wear the bones or steels become bent and set in position,
or, as more frequently happens, they break and cause injury or discomfort to
the wearer.
9. About seven years ago an article was discovered for the stiffening of
corsets, which has revolutionized the corset industry of the world. This
article is manufactured from the natural fibers of the Mexican Ixtle plant,
and is known as Coraline. It consists of straight, stiff fibers like bristles

bound together into a cord by being wound with two strands of thread
passing in opposite directions. This produces an elastic fiber intermediate in
stiffness between twine and whalebone. It cannot break, but it possesses all
the stiffness and flexibility necessary to hold the corset in shape and prevent
its wrinkling.
We congratulate the ladies of to-day upon the advantages they enjoy over
their sisters of two centuries ago, in the forms and the graceful and easy
curves of the corsets now made as compared with those of former times.

Forms of Corsets in the time
of Elizabeth of England.

TIGHT-LACING.

It destroys natural beauty and creates an
unpleasant and irritable temper. A tight-
laced chest and a good disposition cannot
go together. The human form has been
molded by nature, the best shape is
THE NATURAL undoubtedly that which she has given it.
WAIST. To endeavor to render it more elegant by
THE EFFECTS OF
LACING. artificial means is to change it; to make it
much smaller below and much larger EGYPTIAN
above is to destroy its beauty; to keep it cased up in a kind of CORSET.
domestic cuirass is not only to deform it, but to expose the
internal parts to serious injury. Under such compression as is commonly
practiced by ladies, the development of the bones, which are still tender,
does not take place conformably to the intention of nature, because nutrition
is necessarily stopped, and they consequently become twisted and
deformed.

Those who wear these appliances of tight-lacing often complain that they
cannot sit upright without them—are sometimes, indeed, compelled to wear
them during all the twenty-four hours; a fact which proves to what extent
such articles weaken the muscles of the trunk. The injury does not fall
merely on the internal structure of the body, but also on its beauty, and on
the temper and feelings with which that beauty is associated. Beauty is in
reality but another name for expression of countenance, which is the index
of sound health, intelligence, good feelings and peace of mind. All are
aware that uneasy feelings, existing habitually in the breast speedily exhibit
their signature on the countenance, and that bitter thoughts or a bad temper
spoil the human expression of its comeliness and grace.

The Care of the Hair.
1. The Color of the Hair.—The color of the hair
corresponds with that of the skin—being dark or black, with
a dark complexion, and red or yellow with a fair skin. When
a white skin is seen in conjunction with black hair, as among
the women of Syria and Barbary, the apparent exception
arises from protection from the sun's rays, and opposite
colors are often found among people of one prevailing
NATURAL
feature. Thus red-haired Jews are not uncommon, though the HAIR.
nation in general have dark complexion and hair.
2. The Imperishable Nature of Hair.—The imperishable nature of hair
arises from the combination of salt and metals in its composition. In old
tombs and on mummies it has been found in a perfect state, after a lapse of
over two thousand years. There are many curious accounts proving the
indestructibility of the human hair.
3. Tubular.—In the human family the hairs are tubular, the tubes being
intersected by partitions, resembling in some degree the cellular tissue of
plants. Their hollowness prevents incumbrance from weight, while their
power of resistance is increased by having their traverse sections rounded in
form.
4. Cautions.—It is ascertained that a full head of hair, beard and whiskers,
are a prevention against colds and consumptions. Occasionally, however, it
is found necessary to remove the hair from the head, in cases of fever or
disease, to stay the inflammatory symptoms, and to relieve the brain. The
head should invariably be kept cool. Close night-caps are unhealthy, and
smoking-caps and coverings for the head within doors are alike detrimental
to the free growth of the hair, weakening it, and causing it to fall out.

HOW TO BEAUTIFY AND PRESERVE THE HAIR.

1. To Beautify the Hair.—Keep the head clean, the pores of the skin open,
and the whole circulatory system in a healthy condition, and you will have
no need of bear's grease (alias hog's lard). Where there is a tendency in the
hair to fall off on account of the weakness or sluggishness of the circulation,
or an unhealthy state of the skin, cold water and friction with a tolerably
stiff brush are probably the best remedial agents.
2. Barber's Shampoos.—Are very beneficial if properly prepared. They
should not be made too strong. Avoid strong shampoos of any kind. Great
caution should be exercised in this matter.
3. Care of the Hair.—To keep the hair healthy, keep the head clean. Brush
the scalp well with a stiff brush, while dry. Then wash with castile soap, and
rub into the roots, bay rum, brandy or camphor water. This done twice a
month will prove beneficial. Brush the scalp thoroughly twice a week.
Dampen the hair with soft water at the toilet, and do not use oil.
4. Hair Wash.—Take one ounce of borax, half an ounce of camphor
powder—these ingredients fine—and dissolve them in one quart of boiling
water. When cool, the solution will be ready for use. Dampen the hair
frequently. This wash is said not only to cleanse and beautify, but to
strengthen the hair, preserve the color and prevent baldness.
Another Excellent Wash.—The best wash we know for cleansing and
softening the hair is an egg beaten up and rubbed well into the hair, and
afterwards washed out with several washes of warm water.
5. The Only Sensible and Safe Hair Oil.—The following is considered a
most valuable preparation: Take of extract of yellow Peruvian bark, fifteen
grains; extract of rhatany root, eight grains; extract of burdoch root and oil
of nutmegs (fixed), of each two drachms; camphor (dissolve with spirits of
wine), fifteen grains; beef marrow, two ounces; best olive oil, one ounce;
citron juice, half a drachm; aromatic essential oil, as much as sufficient to
render it fragrant; mix and make into an ointment. Two drachms of
bergamot, and a few drops of attar of roses would suffice.
6. Hair Wash.—A good hair wash is soap and water, and the oftener it is
applied the freer the surface of the head will be from scurf. The hair-brush
should also be kept in requisition morning and evening.

7. To Remove Superfluous Hair.—With those who dislike the use of
arsenic, the following is used for removing superfluous hair from the skin:
Lime, one ounce; carbonate of potash, two ounces; charcoal powder, one
drachm. For use, make it into a paste with a little warm water, and apply it
to the part, previously shaved close. As soon as it has become thoroughly
dry, it may be washed off with a little warm water.
8. Coloring for Eyelashes and Eyebrows.—In eyelashes the chief element
of beauty consists in their being long and glossy; the eyebrows should be
finely arched and clearly divided from each other. The most innocent
darkener of the brow is the expressed juice of the elderberry, or a burnt
clove.
9. Crimping Hair.—To make the hair stay in crimps,
take five cents worth of gum arabic and add to it just
enough boiling water to dissolve it. When dissolved, add
enough alcohol to make it rather thin. Let this stand all
night and then bottle it to prevent the alcohol from
evaporating. This put on the hair at night, after it is done
up in papers or pins, will make it stay in crimp the DISCUSSING THE
hottest day, and is perfectly harmless. FASHIONS.

10. To Curl the Hair.—There is no preparation that will make naturally
straight hair assume a permanent curl. The following will keep the hair in
curl for a short time: Take borax, two ounces; gum arabic, one drachm; and
hot water, not boiling, one quart; stir, and, as soon as the ingredients are
dissolved, add three tablespoonfuls of strong spirits of camphor. On retiring
to rest, wet the hair with the above liquid, and roll in twists of paper as
usual. Do not disturb the hair until morning, when untwist and form into
ringlets.
11. For Falling or Loosening of the Hair.—Take:

Alcohol, a half pint.
Salt, as much as will dissolve.
Glycerine, a tablespoonful.
Flour of sulphur, teaspoonful. Mix.

Rub on the scalp every morning.

12. To Darken the Hair without Bad Effects.—Take:

Blue vitriol (powdered), one drachm.
Alcohol, one ounce.
Essence of roses, ten drops.
Rain-water, a half-pint.

Shake together until they are thoroughly dissolved.
13. Gray Hair.—There are no known means by which the hair can be
prevented from turning gray, and none which can restore it to its original
hue, except through the process of dyeing. The numerous "hair color
restorers" which are advertised are chemical preparations which act in the
manner of a dye or as a paint, and are nearly always dependent for their
power on the presence of lead. This mineral, applied to the skin, for a long
time, will lead to the most disastrous maladies—lead-palsy, lead colic, and
other symptoms of poisoning. It should, therefore, never be used for this
purpose.

How to Cure Pimples or Other Facial Eruptions.
1. It requires self-denial to get rid of pimples, for persons
troubled with them will persist in eating fat meats and
other articles of food calculated to produce them. Avoid
the use of rich gravies, or pastry, or anything of the kind
in excess. Take all the out-door exercise yon can and
never indulge in a late supper. Retire at a reasonable
hour, and rise early in the morning. Sulphur to purify the
blood may be taken three times a week—a thimbleful in a glass of milk
before breakfast. It takes some time for the sulphur to do its work, therefore
persevere in its use till the humors, or pimples, or blotches, disappear. Avoid
getting wet while taking the sulphur.
2. Try This Recipe: Wash the face twice a day in warm water, and rub dry
with a coarse towel. Then with a soft towel rub in a lotion made of two
ounces of white brandy, one ounce of cologne, and one-half ounce of liquor
potassa. Persons subject to skin eruptions should avoid very salty or fat
food. A dose of Epsom salts occasionally might prove beneficial.
3. Wash the face in a dilution of carbolic acid, allowing one teaspoonful to a
pint of water. This is an excellent and purifying lotion, and may be used on
the most delicate skins. Be careful about letting this wash get into the eyes.
4. Oil of sweet almonds, one ounce; fluid potash, one drachm. Shake well
together, and then add rose water, one ounce; pure water, six ounces. Mix.
Rub the pimples or blotches for some minutes with a rough towel, and then
dab them with the lotion.
5. Dissolve one ounce of borax, and sponge the face with it every night.
When there are insects, rub on flower of sulphur dry after washing, rub well
and wipe dry; use plenty of castile soap.
6. Dilute corrosive sublimate with oil of almonds. A few days' application
will remove them.

BLACK-HEADS AND FLESH WORMS.

A Regular Flesh
Worm Greatly
Magnified.

This is a minute little creature, scientifically called
Demodex folliculorum, hardly visible to the naked eye,
with comparatively large fore body, a more slender hind
body and eight little stumpy processes that do duty as
legs. No specialized head is visible, although of course
there is a mouth orifice. These creatures live on the
sweat glands or pores of the human face, and owing to
the appearance that they give to the infested pores, they
are usually known as "black-heads." It is not at all
A HEALTHY
uncommon to see an otherwise pretty face disfigured by COMPLEXION.
these ugly creatures, although the insects themselves are
nearly transparent white. The black appearance is really due the
accumulation of dirt which gets under the edges of the skin of the enlarged
sweat glands and cannot be removed in the ordinary way by washing,
because the abnormal, hardened secretion of the gland itself becomes
stained. These insects are so lowly organized that it is almost impossible to
satisfactorily deal with them. and they sometimes cause the continual
festering of the skin which they inhabit.
Remedy.—Press them out with a hollow key or with the thumb and fingers,
and apply a mixture of sulphur and cream every evening. Wash every
morning with the best toilet soap, or wash the face with hot water with a
soft flannel at bedtime.

Love.
But there's nothing half so sweet in life
As love's young dream.—Moore.

All love is sweet,
Given or returned. Common as light is love,
And its familiar voice wearies not ever.—Shelley.

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.—Shakespeare.

Let those love now who never loved before,
Let those that always loved now love the more.—
Parnell.

1. Love Blends Young Hearts.—Love blends young
hearts in blissful unity, and, for the time, so ignores past
ties and affections, as to make willing separation of the
son from his father's house, and the daughter from all the
sweet endearments of her childhood's home, to go out LOVE'S YOUNG
together, and rear for themselves an altar, around which DREAM.
shall cluster all the cares and delights, the anxieties and
sympathies, of the family relationship; this love, if pure, unselfish, and
discreet, constitutes the chief usefulness and happiness of human life.
2. Without Love.—Without love there would be no organized households,
and, consequently, none of that earnest endeavor for competence and
respectability, which is the mainspring to human effort; none of those
sweet, softening, restraining and elevating influences of domestic life,
which can alone fill the earth with the glory of the Lord and make glad the
city of Zion. This love is indeed heaven upon earth; but above would not be

heaven without it; where there is not love, there is fear; but, "love casteth
out fear." And yet we naturally do offend what we most love.
3. Love Is the Sun of Life.—Most beautiful in morning and evening, but
warmest and steadiest at noon. It is the sun of the soul. Life without love is
worse than death; a world without a sun. The love which does not lead to
labor will soon die out, and the thankfulness which does not embody itself
in sacrifices is already changing to gratitude. Love is not ripened in one day,
nor in many, nor even in a human lifetime. It is the oneness of soul with
soul in appreciation and perfect trust. To be blessed it must rest in that faith
in the Divine which underlies every other motion. To be true, it must be
eternal as God himself.
4. Love Is Dependent.—Remember that love is dependent upon forms;
courtesy of etiquette guards and protects courtesy of heart. How many
hearts have been lost irrevocably, and how many averted eyes and cold
looks have been gained from what seemed, perhaps, but a trifling
negligence of forms?
5. Radical Differences.—Men and women should not
be judged by the same rules. There are many radical
differences in their affectional natures. Man is the
creature of interest and ambition. His nature leads him
forth into the struggle and bustle of the world. Love is
but the embellishment of his early life, or a song piped in
the intervals of the acts. He seeks for fame, for fortune,
for space in the world's thoughts, and dominion over his
fellow-men. But a woman's whole life is a history of the LOVE MAKING
IN THE EARLY
affections. The heart is her world; it is there her ambition COLONIAL
strives for empire; it is there her ambition seeks for DAYS.
hidden treasures. She sends forth her sympathies on
adventure; she embarks her whole soul in the traffic of affection; and if
shipwrecked her case is hopeless, for it is bankruptcy of the heart.
6. Woman's Love.—Woman's love is stronger than death; it rises superior
to adversity, and towers in sublime beauty above the niggardly selfishness
of the world. Misfortune cannot suppress it; enmity cannot alienate it;
temptation cannot enslave it. It is the guardian angel of the nursery and the

sick bed; it gives an affectionate concord to the partnership of life and
interest, circumstances cannot modify it; it ever remains the same to
sweeten existence, to purify the cup of life, on the rugged pathway to the
grave, and melt to moral pliability the brittle nature of man. It is the
ministering spirit of home, hovering in soothing caresses over the cradle,
and the death-bed of the household, and filling up the urn of all its sacred
memories.
7. A Lady's Complexion.—He who loves a lady's complexion, form and
features, loves not her true self, but her soul's old clothes. The love that has
nothing but beauty to sustain it, soon withers and dies. The love that is fed
with presents always requires feeding. Love, and love only, is the loan for
love. Love is of the nature of a burning glass, which, kept still in one place,
fireth; changed often, it doth nothing. The purest joy we can experience in
one we love, is to see that person a source of happiness to others. When you
are with the person loved, you have no sense of being bored. This humble
and trivial circumstance is the great test—the only sure and abiding test of
love.
8. Two Souls Come Together.—When two souls come together, each
seeking to magnify the other, each in subordinate sense worshiping the
other, each help the other; the two flying together so that each wing-beat of
the one helps each wing-beat of the other—when two souls come together
thus, they are lovers. They who unitedly move themselves away from
grossness and from earth, toward the throne of crystaline and the pavement
golden, are, indeed, true lovers.

CUPID'S CAPTURED VICTIM.

The Power and Peculiarities of Love.

LOVE IS A TONIC AND A REMEDY FOR DISEASE,
MAKES PEOPLE LOOK YOUNGER, CREATES
INDUSTRY, ETC.

"All thoughts, all passions, all desires,
Whatever stirs this mortal frame,
Are ministers of Love,
And feed his sacred flame."

1. It is a physological fact long demonstrated that persons possessing a
loving disposition borrow less of the cares of life, and also live much longer
than persons with a strong, narrow and selfish nature. Persons who love
scenery, love domestic animals, show great attachment for all friends; love
their home dearly and find interest and enchantment in almost everything
have qualities of mind and heart which indicate good health and a happy
disposition.
2. Persons who love music and are constantly humming or whistling a tune,
are persons that need not be feared, they are kind-hearted and with few
exceptions possess a loving disposition. Very few good musicians become
criminals.
3. Parents that cultivate a love among then children will find that the same
feeling will soon be manifested in their children's disposition. Sunshine in
the hearts of the parents will blossom in the lives of the children. The parent
who continually cherishes a feeling of dislike and rebellion in his soul,
cultivating moral hatred against his fellow-man, will soon find the same
things manifested by his son. As the son resembles his father in looks so he
will to a certain extent resemble him in character. Love in the heart of the

parent will beget kindness and affection in the heart of a child. Continuous
scolding and fretting in the home will soon make love a stranger.
4. If you desire to cultivate love, create harmony in all
your feelings and faculties. Remember that all that is
pure, holy and virtuous in love flows from the deepest
fountain of the human soul. Poison the fountain and you
change virtue to vice, and happiness to misery.
THE TURKISH
5. Love strengthens health, and disappointment WAY OF MAKING
cultivates disease. A person in love will invariably enjoy LOVE
the best of health. Ninety-nine per cent. of our strong
constitutioned men, now in physical ruin, have wrecked themselves on the
breakers of an unnatural love. Nothing but right love and a right marriage
will restore them to health.
6. All men feel much better for going a courting, providing they court
purely. Nothing tears the life out of man more than lust, vulgar thoughts and
immoral conduct. The libertine or harlot has changed love, God's purest gift
to man, into lust. They cannot acquire love in its purity again, the sacred
flame has vanished forever. Love is pure, and cannot be found in the heart
of a seducer.
7. A woman is never so bright and full of health as when deeply in love.
Many sickly and frail women are snatched from the clutches of some
deadly disease and restored to health by falling in love.
8. It is a long established fact that married persons are healthier than
unmarried persons; thus it proves that health and happiness belong to the
home. Health depends upon mind. Love places the mind into a delightful
state and quickens every human function, makes the blood circulate and
weaves threads of joy into cables of domestic love.
9. An old but true proverb: "A true man loving one woman will speak well
of all women. A true woman loving one man will speak well of all men. A
good wife praises all men, but praises her husband most. A good man
praises all women, but praises his wife most."
10. Persons deeply in love become peculiarly pleasant, winning and tender.
It is said that a musician can never excel or an artist do his best until he has

been deeply in love. A good orator, a great statesman or
great men in general are greater and better for having
once been thoroughly in love. A man who truly loves his
wife and home is always a safe man to trust.
11. Love makes people look younger in years. People in
unhappy homes look older and more worn and fatigued.
A woman at thirty, well courted and well married, looks
five or ten years younger than a woman of the same age
PREPARING TO
unhappily married. Old maids and bachelors always look ENTERTAIN HER
older than they are. A flirting widow always looks LOVER.
younger than an old maid of like age.
12. Love renders women industrious and frugal, and a loving husband
spends lavishly on a loved wife and children, though miserly towards
others.
13. Love cultivates self-respect and produces beauty. Beauty in walk and
beauty in looks; a girl in love is at her best; it brings out the finest traits of
her character, she walks more erect and is more generous and forgiving; her
voice is sweeter and she makes happy all about her. She works better, sings
better and is better.
14. Now in conclusion, a love marriage is the best life insurance policy; it
pays dividends every day, while every other insurance policy merely
promises to pay after death. Remember that statistics demonstrate that
married people outlive old maids and old bachelors by a goodly number of
years and enjoy healthier and happier lives.

Amativeness or Connubial Love.
1. Multiplying the Race.—Some means for multiplying
our race is necessary to prevent its extinction by death.
Propagation and death appertain to man's earthly
existence. If the Deity had seen fit to bring every
member of the human family into being by a direct act of
creative power, without the agency of parents, the CONFIDENCE.
present wise and benevolent arrangements of husbands
and wives, parents and children, friends and neighbors, would have been
superseded, and all opportunities for exercising parental and connubial love,
in which so much enjoyment is taken, cut off. But the domestic feelings and
relations, as now arranged, must strike every philosophical observer as
inimitably beautiful and perfect—as the offspring of infinite Wisdom and
Goodness combined.
2. Amativeness and its Combinations constitute their origin, counterpart,
and main medium of manifestation. Its primary function is connubial love.
From it, mainly, spring those feelings which exist between the sexes as such
and result in marriage and offspring. Combined with the higher sentiments,
it gives rise to all those reciprocal kind feelings and nameless courtesies
which each sex manifests towards the other; refining and elevating both,
promoting gentility and politeness, and greatly increasing social and general
happiness.
3. Renders Men More Polite to Women.—So far from being in the least
gross or indelicate, its proper exercise is pure, chaste, virtuous, and even an
ingredient in good manners. It is this which renders men always more polite
towards women than to one another, and more refined in their society, and
which makes women more kind, grateful, genteel and tender towards men
than women. It makes mothers love their sons more than their daughters,
and fathers more attached to their daughters. Man's endearing recollections
of his mother or wife form his most powerful incentives to virtue, study,
and good deeds, as well as restraints upon his vicious inclinations; and, in

proportion as a young man is dutiful and affectionate to his mother, will he
be fond of his wife; for, this faculty is the parent of both.
4. All Should Cultivate the Faculty of Amativeness or Connubial Lore.
—Study the personal charms and mental accomplishments of the other sex
by ardent admirers of beautiful forms, and study graceful movements and
elegant manners, and remember, much depends upon the tones and accents
of the voice. Never be gruff if you desire to be winning. Seek and enjoy and
reciprocate fond looks and feelings. Before you can create favorable
impressions you must first be honest and sincere and natural, and your
conquest will be sure and certain.

Love and Common-Sense.
1. Do you love her because she goes to the altar with her head full of book
learning, her hands of no earthly use, save for the piano and brush; because
she has no conception of the duties and responsibilities of a wife; because
she hates housework, hates its everlasting routine and ever recurring duties;
because she hates children and will adopt every means to evade
motherhood; because she loves her ease, loves to have her will supreme,
loves, oh how well, to be free to go and come, to let the days slip idly by, to
be absolved from all responsibility, to live without labor, without care? Will
you love her selfish, shirking, calculating nature after twenty years of close
companionship?
2. Do you love him because he is a man, and therefore, no matter how weak
mentally, morally or physically he may be, he has vested in him the power
to save you from the ignominy of an old maid's existence? Because you
would rather be Mrs. Nobody, than make the effort to be Miss Somebody?
because you have a great empty place in your head and heart that nothing
but a man can fill? because you feel you cannot live without him? God
grant the time may never come when you cannot live with him.
3. Do you love her because she is a thoroughly womanly
woman; for her tender sympathetic nature; for the jewels
of her life, which are absolute purity of mind and heart;
for the sweet sincerity of her disposition; for her loving,
charitable thought; for her strength of character? because AN EARNEST
CALLER.
she is pitiful to the sinful, tender to the sorrowful,
capable, self-reliant, modest, true-hearted? in brief,
because she is the embodiment of all womanly virtues?
4. Do you love him because he is a manly man; because the living and
operating principle of his life is a tender reverence for all women; because
his love is the overflow of the best part of his nature; because he has never
soiled his soul with an unholy act or his lips with an oath; because mentally
he is a man among men; because physically he stands head and shoulders

above the masses; because morally he is far beyond suspicion, in his
thought, word or deed; because his earnest manly consecrated life is a
mighty power on God's side?
5. But there always has been and always will be unhappy marriages until
men learn what husbandhood means; how to care for that tenderly matured,
delicately constituted being, that he takes into his care and keeping. That if
her wonderful adjusted organism is overtaxed and overburdened, her
happiness, which is largely dependent upon her health, is destroyed.
6. Until men give the women they marry the undivided love of their heart;
until constancy is the key-note of a life which speaks eloquently of clean
thoughts and clean hearts.
7. Until men and women recognize that self-control in a man, and modesty
in a woman, will bring a mutual respect that years of wedded life will only
strengthen. Until they recognize that love is the purest and holiest of all
things known to humanity, will marriage continue to bring unhappiness and
discontent, instead of that comfort and restful peace which all loyal souls
have a right to expect and enjoy.
8. Be sensible and marry a sensible, honest and industrious companion, and
happiness through life will be your reward.

What Women Love in Men.
1. Women naturally love courage, force and firmness in men. The ideal man
in a woman's eye must be heroic and brave. Woman naturally despises a
coward, and she has little or no respect for a bashful man.
2. Woman naturally loves her lord and master. Women who desperately
object to be overruled, nevertheless admire men who overrule them, and
few women would have any respect for a man whom they could completely
rule and control.
3. Man is naturally the protector of woman; as the male wild animal of the
forest protects the female, so it is natural for man to protect his wife and
children, and therefore woman admires those qualities in a man which make
him a protector.
4. Large Men.—Women naturally love men of strength, size and fine
physique, a tall, large and strong man rather than a short, small and weak
man. A woman always pities a weakly man, but rarely ever has any love for
him.
5. Small and Weakly Men.—All men would be of good size in frame and
flesh, were it not for the infirmities visited upon them by the indiscretion of
parents and ancestors of generations before.
6. Youthful Sexual Excitement.—There are many children born healthy
and vigorous who destroy the full vigor of their generative organs in youth
by self-abuse, and if they survive and marry, their children will have small
bones, small frames and sickly constitutions. It is therefore not strange that
instinct should lead women to admire men not touched with these
symptoms of physical debility.
7. Generosity.—Woman generally loves a generous man. Religion absorbs
a great amount of money in temples, churches, ministerial salaries, etc., and
ambition and appetite absorb countless millions, yet woman receives more
gifts from man than all these combined: she loves a generous giver.

Generosity and Gallantry are the jewels which she most admires. A woman
receiving presents from a man implies that she will pay him back in love,
and the woman who accepts a man's presents, and does not respect him,
commits a wrong which is rarely ever forgiven.
8. Intelligence.—Above all other qualities in man, woman admires his
intelligence. Intelligence is man's woman-captivating card. This character in
woman is illustrated by an English army officer, as told by O. S. Fowler,
betrothed in marriage to a beautiful, loving heiress, summoned to India,
who wrote back to her:
"I have lost an eye, a leg, an arm, and been so badly marred and begrimmed
besides, that you never could love this poor, maimed soldier. Yet, I love you
too well to make your life wretched by requiring you to keep your
marriage-vow with me, from which I hereby release you. Find among
English peers one physically more perfect, whom you can love better."
She answered, as all genuine women must answer:
"Your noble mind, your splendid talents, your martial prowess which
maimed you, are what I love. As long as you retain sufficient body to
contain the casket of your soul, which alone is what I admire, I love you all
the same, and long to make you mine forever."
9. Soft Men.—All women despise soft and silly men more than all other
defects in their character. Woman never can love a man whose conversation
is flat and insipid. Every man seeking woman's appreciation or love should
always endeavor to show his intelligence and manifest an interest in books
and daily papers. He should read books and inform himself so that he can
talk intelligently upon the various topics of the day. Even an ignorant
woman always loves superior intelligence.
10. Sexual Vigor.—Women love sexual vigor in men. This is human nature.
Weakly and delicate fathers have weak and puny children, though the
mother may be strong and robust. A weak mother often bears strong
children, if the father is physically and sexually vigorous. Consumption is
often inherited from fathers, because they furnish the body, yet more
women die with it because of female obstructions. Hence women love

passion in men, because it endows their offspring with strong functional
vigor.
11. Passionate Men.—The less passion any woman possesses, the more she
prizes a strong passionate man. This is a natural consequence, for if she
married one equally passionless, their children would be poorly endowed or
they would have none; she therefore admires him who makes up the
deficiency. Hence very amorous men prefer quiet, modest and reserved
women.
12. Homely Men are admired by women if they are large, strong and
vigorous and possess a good degree of intelligence. Looks are trifles
compared with the other qualities which man may possess.
13. Young Man, If you desire to win the love and admiration of young
ladies, first, be intelligent; read books and papers; remember what you read,
so you can talk about it. Second, be generous and do not show a stingy and
penurious disposition when in the company of ladies. Third, be sensible,
original, and have opinions of your own and do not agree with everything
that someone else says, or agree with everything that a lady may say. Ladies
naturally admire genteel and intelligent discussions and conversations when
there is someone to talk with who has an opinion of his own. Woman
despises a man who has no opinion of his own; she hates a trifling
disposition and admires leadership, original ideas, and looks up to man as a
leader. Women despise all men whom they can manage, overrule, cow-
down and subdue.
14. Be Self-Supporting.—The young man who gives evidence of thrift is
always in demand. Be enthusiastic and drive with success all that you
undertake. A young man, sober, honest and industrious, holding a
responsible position or having a business of his own, is a prize that some
bright and beautiful young lady would like to draw. Woman admires a
certainty.
15. Uniformed Men.—It is a well known fact that women love uniformed
men. The soldier figures as a hero in about every tale of fiction and it is said
by good authority that a man in uniform has three more chances to marry
than the man without uniform. The correct reason is, the soldier's profession
is bravery, and he is dressed and trained for that purpose, and it is that

which makes him admired by ladies rather than the uniform which he
wears. His profession is also that of a protector.

KATE SHELLEY
The Heroine of Honey Creek, who July 6, 1881, crept across the
trembling bridge in the darkness of a terrific storm, and
stopped the approaching Passenger Train.

What Men Love in Women.
1. Female Beauty.—Men love beautiful women, for woman's beauty is the
highest type of all beauty. A handsome woman needs no diamonds, no silks
or satins; her brilliant face outshines diamonds and her form is beautiful in
calico.
2. False Beautifiers.—Man's love of female beauty surpasses all other love,
and whatever artificial means are used to beautify, to a certain extent are
falsehoods which lead to distrust or dislike. Artificial beauty is always an
imitation, and never can come into competition with the genuine. No art can
successfully imitate nature.
3. True Kind of Beauty.—Facial beauty is only skin-deep. A beautiful
form, a graceful figure, graceful movements and a kind heart are the
strongest charms in the perfection of female beauty. A brilliant face always
outshines what may be called a pretty face, for intelligence is that queenly
grace which crowns woman's influence over men. Good looks and good and
pure conduct awaken a man's love for women. A girl must therefore be
charming as well as beautiful, for a charming girl will never become a
charmless wife.
4. A Good Female Body.—No weakly, poor-bodied woman can draw a
man's love like a strong, well developed body. A round, plump figure with
an overflow of animal life is the woman most commonly sought, for nature
in man craves for the strong qualities in women, as the health and life of
offspring depend upon the physical qualities of wife and mother. A good
body and vigorous health, therefore, become indispensable to female
beauty.
5. Broad Hips.—A woman with a large pelvis gives her a superior and
significant appearance, while a narrow pelvis always indicate weak
sexuality. The other portions of the body however must be in harmony with
the size and breadth of the hips.

6. Full Busts.—In the female beauty of physical development there is
nothing that can equal full breasts. It is an indication of good health and
good maternal qualities. As a face looks bad without a nose, so the female
breast, when narrow and flat, produces a bad effect. The female breasts are
the means on which a new-born child depends for its life and growth, hence
it is an essential human instinct for men to admire those physical
proportions in women which indicate perfect motherhood. Cotton and all
other false forms simply show the value of natural ones. All false forms are
easily detected, because large natural ones will generally quiver and move
at every step, while the artificial ones will manifest no expression of life. As
woman looks so much better with artificial paddings and puffings than she
does without, therefore modern society should waive all objections to their
use. A full breast has been man's admiration through all climes and ages,
and whether this breast-loving instinct is right or wrong, sensible or sensual,
it is a fact well known to all, that it is a great disappointment to a husband
and father to see his child brought up on a bottle. Men love full breasts,
because it promotes maternity. If, however, the breasts are abnormally large,
it indicates maternal deficiency the same as any disproportion or extreme.
7. Small Feet.—Small feet and small ankles are very attractive, because
they are in harmony with a perfect female form, and men admire perfection.
Small feet and ankles indicate modesty and reserve, while large feet and
ankles indicate coarseness, physical power, authority, predominance. Feet
and ankles however must be in harmony with the body, as small feet and
small ankles on a large woman would be out of proportion and
consequently not beautiful.
8. Beautiful Arms.—As the arm is always in proportion with the other
portions of the body, consequently a well-shaped arm, small hands and
small wrists, with full muscular development, is a charm and beauty not
inferior to the face itself, and those who have well-shaped arms may be
proud of them, because they generally keep company with a fine bust and a
fine figure.
9. Intelligence.—A mother must naturally possess intelligence, in order to
rear her children intelligently, consequently it is natural for man to chiefly
admire mental qualities in women, for utility and practicability depend upon
intelligence. Therefore a man generally loves those charms in women which

prepare her for the duties of companionship. If a woman desires to be loved,
she must cultivate her intellectual gifts, be interesting and entertaining in
society, and practical and helpful in the home, for these are some of the
qualifications which make up the highest type of beauty.
10. Piety and Religion in Women.—Men who love home and the
companionship of their wives, love truth, honor and honesty. It is this
higher moral development that naturally leads them to admire women of
moral and religious natures. It is therefore not strange that immoral men
love moral and church-loving wives. Man naturally admires the qualities
which tend to the correct government of the home. Men want good and pure
children, and it is natural to select women who insure domestic contentment
and happiness. A bad man, of course, does not deserve a good wife, yet he
will do his utmost to get one.
11. False Appearance.—Men love reserved, coy and discreet women much
more than blunt, shrewd and boisterous. Falsehood, false hair, false curls,
false forms, false bosoms, false colors, false cheeks, and all that is false,
men naturally dislike, for in themselves they are a poor foundation on
which to form family ties, consequently duplicity and hypocrisy in women
is very much disliked by men, but a frank, honest, conscientious soul is
always lovable and lovely and will not become an old maid, except as a
matter of choice and not of necessity.

History of Marriage.
1. "It is not good for man to be alone," was the Divine
judgment, and so God created for him an helpmate;
therefore sex is as Divine as the soul.
2. Polygamy.—Polygamy has existed in all ages. It is
and always has been the result of moral degradation and
wantonness.
3. The Garden of Eden.—The Garden of Eden was no
harem. Primeval nature knew no community of love;
there was only the union of two souls, and the twain were made one flesh. If
God had intended man to be a polygamist he would have created for him
two or more wives; but he only created one wife for the first man. He also
directed Noah to take into the ark two of each sort—a male and female—
another evidence that God believed in pairs only.
4. Abraham no doubt was a polygamist, and the general history of
patriarchal life shows that the plurality of wives and concubinage were
national customs, and not the institutions authorized by God.
5. Egyptian History.—Egyptian history, in the first ostensible form we
have, shows that concubinage and polygamy were in common practice.
6. Solomon.—It is not strange that Solomon, with his thousand wives,
exclaimed: "All is vanity and vexation of spirit." Polygamy is not the
natural state of man.
7. Concubinage and Polygamy continued till the fifth century, when the
degraded condition of woman became to some extent matters of some
concern and recognition. Before this woman was regarded simply as an
instrument of procreation, or a mistress of the household, to gratify the
passions of man.
8. The Chinese marriage system was, and is, practically polygamous, for
from their earliest traditions we learn, although a man could have but one

wife, he was permitted to have as many concubines as he desired.
9. Mohammedanism.—Of the 150,000,000 Mohammedans all are
polygamists. Their religion appeals to the luxury of animal propensities, and
the voluptuous character of the Orientals has penetrated western Europe and
Africa.
10. Mormonism.—The Mormon Church, founded by Joseph Smith,
practiced polygamy until the beginning of 1893, when the church formally
declared and resigned polygamy as a part or present doctrine of their
religious institution. Yet all Mormons are polygamists at heart. It is a part of
their religion; national law alone restrains them.
11. Free Lovers.—There is located at Lenox, Madison County, New York,
an organization popularly known as Free Lovers. The members advocate a
system of complex marriage, a sort of promiscuity, with a freedom of love
for any and all. Man offers woman support and love, woman enjoying
freedom, self-respect, health, personal and mental competency, gives herself
to man in the boundless sincerity of an unselfish union. In their system, love
is made synonymous with sexuality, and there is no doubt but what woman
is only a plaything to gratify animal caprice.
12. Monogamy (Single Wife), is a law of nature evident from the fact that
it fulfills the three essential conditions of man, viz.: the development of the
individual, the welfare of society and reproduction. In no nation with a
system of polygamy do we find a code of political and moral rights, and the
condition of woman is that of a slave. In polygamous countries nothing is
added to the education and civilization. The natural tendency is sensualism,
and sensualism tends to mental starvation.
13. Christian Civilization has lifted woman from slavery to liberty.
Wherever Christian civilization prevails there are legal marriages, pure
homes and education. May God bless the purity of the home.

Marriage.

"Thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure,
Married in haste we may repent at leisure."—
Shakspeare.

The parties are wedded. The priest or clergyman has pronounced as one
those hearts that before beat in unison with each other. The assembled
guests congratulate the happy pair. The fair bride has left her dear mother
bedewed with tears and sobbing just as if her heart would break, and as if
the happy bridegroom was leading her away captive against her will. They
enter the carriage. It drives off on the wedding tour, and his arms encircles
the yielding waist of her now all his own, while her head reclines on the
breast of the man of her choice. If she be young and has married an old
man, she will be sad. If she has married for a home, or position, or wealth, a
pang will shoot across her fair bosom. If she has married without due
consideration or on too light an acquaintance, it will be her sorrow before
long. But, if loving and beloved, she has united her destiny with a worthy
man, she will rejoice, and on her journey feel a glow of satisfaction and
delight unfelt before and which will be often renewed, and daily prove as
the living waters from some perennial spring.

The Advantages of Wedlock.
'Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark,
Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home;
'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark
Our coming, and look brighter when we come.—
Byron, Don Juan.

1. Marriage is the natural state of man and woman.
Matrimony greatly contributes to the wealth and health
of man.
2. Circumstances may compel a man not to select a
companion until late in life. Many may have parents or
relatives, dependent brothers and sisters to care for, yet
family ties are cultivated, notwithstanding the home is
without a wife.
3. In Christian countries the laws of marriage have greatly added to the
health of man. Marriage in barbarous countries, where little or no marriage
ceremonies are required, benefits man but little. There can be no true
domestic blessedness without loyalty and love for the select and married
companion. All the licentiousness and lust of a libertine, whether civilized
or uncivilized, bring him only unrest and premature decay.
4. A man, however, may be married and not mated, and consequently reap
trouble and unhappiness. A young couple should first carefully learn each
other by making the courtship a matter of business, and sufficiently long
that the disposition and temper of each may be thoroughly exposed and
understood.
5. First see that there is love; secondly, that there is adaptation; thirdly, see
that there are no physical defects; and if these conditions are properly
considered, cupid will go with you.

6. The happiest place on all earth is home. A loving wife and lovely children
are jewels without price, as Payne says:

"'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."

7. Reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the system. The
elasticity of the muscles is increased, the circulation is quickened, and every
bodily function is stimulated to renewed activity by a happy marriage.
8. The consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is the
union of souls in a true marriage. Whatever of beauty or romance there may
have been in the lover's dream, is enhanced and spiritualized in the intimate
communion of married life. The crown of wifehood and maternity is purer,
more divine than that of the maiden. Passion is lost—emotions
predominate.
9. Too Early Marriages.—Too early marriage is always bad
for the female. If a young girl marries, her system is
weakened and a full development of her body is prevented,
and the dangers of confinement are considerably increased.
10. Boys who marry young derive but little enjoyment from
the connubial state. They are liable to excesses and thereby
lose much of the vitality and power of strength and physical
endurance. AN
ALGERIAN
11. Long Life.—Statistics show that married men live BRIDE.
longer than bachelors. Child-bearing for women is
conducive to longevity.
12. Complexion.—Marriage purifies the complexion, removes blotches
from the skin, invigorates the body, fills up the tones of the voice, gives
elasticity and firmness to the step, and brings health and contentment to old
age.
13. Temptations Removed.—Marriage sanctifies a home, while adultery
and libertinism produce unrest, distrust and misery. It must be remembered
that a married man can practice the most absolute continence and enjoy a

far better state of health than the licentious man. The comforts of
companionship develop purity and give rest to the soul.
14. Total Abstention.—It is no doubt difficult for some men to fully
abstain from sexual intercourse and be entirely chaste in mind. The great
majority of men experience frequent strong sexual desire. Abstention is
very apt to produce in their minds voluptuous images and untamable desires
which require an iron will to banish or control. The hermit in his seclusion,
or the monk in his retreat, are often flushed with these passions and trials. It
is, however, natural; for remove these passions and man would be no longer
a man. It is evident that the natural state of man is that of marriage; and he
who avoids that state is not in harmony with the laws of his being.
15. Prostitution.—Men who inherit strong passions easily argue
themselves into the belief, either to practice masturbation or visit places of
prostitution, on the ground that their health demands it. Though medical
investigation has proven it repeatedly to be false, yet many believe it. The
consummation of marriage involves the mightiest issues of life and is the
most holy and sacred right recognized by man, and it is the Balm of Gilead
for many ills. Masturbation or prostitution soon blight the brightest
prospects a young man may have. Manhood is morality and purity of
purpose, not sensuality.

Disadvantages of Celibacy.
1. To live the life of a bachelor has many advantages and
many disadvantages. The man who commits neither
fornication, adultery nor secret vice, and is pure in mind,
surely has all the moral virtues that make a good man
and a good citizen, whether married or unmarried.
2. If a good pure-minded man does not marry, he will
suffer no serious loss of vital power; there will be no
tendency to spermatorrhœa or congestion, nor will he be Disadvantages of
Celibacy.
afflicted with any one of those ills which certain vicious Keeping Bachelor's
writers and quacks would lead many people to believe. Hall.
Celibacy is perfectly consistent with mental vigor and The Old Bachelor
Sewing on His
physical strength. Regularity in the habits of life will Buttons.
always have its good effects on the human body.
3. The average life of a married man is much longer than that of a bachelor.
There is quite an alarming odds in the United States in favor of a man with
a family. It is claimed that the married man lives on an average from five to
twenty years longer than a bachelor. The married man lives a more regular
life. He has his meals more regularly and is better nursed in sickness, and in
every way a happier and more contented man. The happiness of wife and
children will always add comfort and length of days to the man who is
happily married.
4. It is a fact well answered by statistics that there is more crime committed,
more vices practiced, and more immorality among single men than among
married men. Let the young man be pure in heart like Bunyan's Pilgrim, and
he can pass the deadly dens, the roaring lions, and overcome the ravenous
fires of passion, unscathed. The vices of single men support the most
flagrant of evils of modern society, hence let every young man beware and
keep his body clean and pure. His future happiness largely depends upon
his chastity while a single man.

Old Maids.
1. Modern Origin.—The prejudice which certainly still
exists in the average mind against unmarried women
must be of comparatively modern origin. From the
earliest ages, in ancient Greece, and Rome particularly,
the highest honors were paid them. They were the
ministers of the old religions, and regarded with
superstitious awe.
2. Matrimony.—Since the reformation, especially "WE SHALL
NEVER MARRY."
during the last century, and in our own land, matrimony
has been so much esteemed, notably by women, that it
has come to be regarded as in some sort discreditable for them to remain
single. Old maids are mentioned on every hand with mingled pity and
disdain, arising no doubt from the belief, conscious or unconscious, that
they would not be what they are if they could help it. Few persons have a
good word for them as a class. We are constantly hearing of lovely maidens,
charming wives, buxom widows, but almost never of attractive old maids.
3. Discarding Prejudice.—The real old maid is like any other woman. She
has faults necessarily, though not those commonly conceived of. She is
often plump, pretty, amiable, interesting, intellectual, cultured, warm-
hearted, benevolent, and has ardent friends of both sexes. These constantly
wonder why she has not married, for they feel that she must have had many
opportunities. Some of them may know why; she may have made them her
confidantes. She usually has a sentimental, romantic, frequently a sad and
pathetic past, of which she does not speak unless in the sacredness of
intimacy.
4. Not Quarrelsome.—She is not dissatisfied, querulous nor envious. On
the contrary, she is, for the most part, singularly content, patient and serene,
—more so than many wives who have household duties and domestic cares
to tire and trouble them.

5. Remain Single from Necessity.—It is a stupid, as well as a heinous
mistake, that women who remain single do so from necessity. Almost any
woman can get a husband if she is so minded, as daily observation attests.
When we see the multitudes of wives who have no visible signs of
matrimonial recommendation, why should we think that old maids have
been totally neglected? We may meet those who do not look inviting. But
we meet any number of wives who are even less inviting.
6. First Offer.—The appearance and outgiving of many
wives denote that they have accepted the first offer; the
appearance and outgiving of many old maids that they
have declined repeated offers. It is undeniable, that
wives, in the mass, have no more charm than old maids
have, in the mass. But, as the majority of women are
married, they are no more criticised nor commented on,
in the bulk, than the whole sex are. They are spoken of
individually as pretty or plain, bright or dull, pleasant or "WE HAVE
unpleasant; while old maids are judged as a species, and CHANGED OUR
almost always unfavorable. MINDS."

7. Becomes a Wife.—Many an old maid, so-called, unexpectedly to her
associates becomes a wife, some man of taste, discernment and sympathy
having induced her to change her state. Probably no other man of his kind
has proposed before, which accounts for her singleness. After her marriage
hundreds of persons who had sneered at her condition find her charming,
thus showing the extent of their prejudice against feminine celibacy. Old
maids in general, it is fair to presume, do not wait for opportunities, but for
proposers of an acceptable sort. They may have, indeed they are likely to
have, those, but not to meet these.
8. No Longer Marry for Support.—The time has changed and women
have changed with it. They have grown more sensible, more independent in
disposition as well as circumstances. They no longer marry for support;
they have proved their capacity to support themselves, and self-support has
developed them in every way. Assured that they can get on comfortably and
contentedly alone they are better adapted by the assurance for consortship.
They have rapidly increased from this and cognate causes, and have so

improved in person, mind and character that an old maid of to-day is wholly
different from an old maid of forty years ago.

CONVINCING
HIS WIFE.

When and Whom to Marry.
1. Early Marriages.—Women too early married always remain small in
stature, weak, pale, emaciated, and more or less miserable. We have no
natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy constitutions, therefore
women should not marry too young and take upon themselves the
responsibility, by producing a weak and feeble generation of children. It is
better not to consummate a marriage until a full development of body and
mind has taken place. A young woman of twenty-one to twenty-five, and a
young man of twenty-three to twenty-eight, are considered the right age in
order to produce an intelligent and healthy offspring. "First make the tree
good, then shall the fruit be good also."
2. If marriage is delayed too long in either sex, say from thirty to forty-five,
the offspring will often be puny and more liable to insanity, idiocy, and
other maladies.
3. Puberty.—This is the period when childhood passes from immaturity of
the sexual functions to maturity. Woman attains this state a year or two
sooner than man. In the hotter climates the period of puberty is from twelve
to fifteen years of age, while in cold climates, such as Russia, the United
States, and Canada, puberty is frequently delayed until the seventeenth year.
4. Diseased Parents.—We do the race a serious wrong in multiplying the
number of hereditary invalids. Whole families of children have fallen heir
to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and poor judgment of
parents. No young man in the vigor of health should think for a moment of
marrying a girl who has the impress of consumption or other disease
already stamped upon her feeble constitution. It only multiplies his own
suffering, and brings no material happiness to his invalid wife. On the other
hand, no healthy, vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a
man, no matter how much she adored him, who is not healthy and able to
brave the hardships of life. If a young man or young woman with feeble
body cannot find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate,
no thoughts of marriage should be entertained. Courting a patient may be

pleasant, but a hard thing in married life to enjoy. The young lady who
supposes that any young man wishes to marry her for the sake of nursing
her through life makes a very grave mistake.
5. Whom to Choose for a Husband.—The choice of a
husband requires the coolest judgment and the most
vigilant sagacity. A true union based on organic law is
happiness, but let all remember that oil and water will
not mix; the lion will not lie down with the lamb, nor can
ill-assorted marriages be productive of aught but discord.

"Let the woman take
An elder than herself, so wears she to him— THE BASHFUL
YOUNG COUPLE.
So sways she, rules in her husband's heart." "A faint heart never
won a fair lady."
Look carefully at the disposition.—See that your
intended spouse is kind-hearted, generous, and willing to respect the
opinions of others, though not in sympathy with them. Don't marry a selfish
tyrant who thinks only of himself.
6. Be Careful.—Don't marry an intemperate man with a view of reforming
him. Thousands have tried it and failed. Misery, sorrow and a very hell on
earth have been the consequences of too many such generous undertakings.
7. The True and Only Test which any man should look for in woman is
modesty in demeanor before marriage, absence both of assumed ignorance
and disagreeable familiarity, and a pure and religious frame of mind. Where
these are present, he need not doubt that he has a faithful and a chaste wife.
8. Marrying First Cousins is dangerous to offspring. The observation is
universal, the children of married first cousins are too often idiots, insane,
clump-footed, crippled, blind, or variously diseased. First cousins are
always sure to impart all the hereditary disease in both families to their
children. If both are healthy there is less danger.
9. Do Not Choose One Too Good, or too far above you, lest the inferior
dissatisfying the superior, breed those discords which are worse than the
trials of a single life. Don't be too particular; for you might go farther and
fare worse. As far as you yourself are faulty, you should put up with faults.

Don't cheat a consort by getting one much better than you can give. We are
not in heaven yet, and must put up with their imperfections, and instead of
grumbling at them, be glad they are no worse; remembering that a faulty
one is a great deal better than none, if he loves you.
10. Marrying for Money.—Those who seek only the society of those who
can boast of wealth will nine times out of ten suffer disappointment. Wealth
cannot manufacture true love nor money buy domestic happiness. Marry
because you love each other, and God will bless your home. A cottage with
a loving wife is worth more than a royal palace with a discontented and
unloving queen.
11. Difference in Age.—It is generally admitted that the husband should be
a few years older than the wife. The question seems to be how much
difference. Up to twenty-two those who propose marriage should be about
the same age; however, other things being equal, a difference of fifteen
years after the younger is twenty-five, need not prevent a marriage. A man
of forty-five may marry a woman of twenty-five much more safely than one
of thirty a girl below nineteen, because her mental sexuality is not as mature
as his, and again her natural coyness requires more delicate and affectionate
treatment than he is likely to bestow. A girl of twenty or under should
seldom if ever marry a man of thirty or over, because the love of an elderly
man for a girl is more parental than conjugal; while hers for him is like that
of a daughter to a father. He may pet, flatter and indulge her as he would a
grown-up daughter, yet all this is not genuine masculine and feminine love,
nor can she exert over him the influence every man requires from his wife.
12. The Best Time.—All things considered, we advise the male reader to
keep his desires in check till he is at least twenty-five, and the female not to
enter the pale of wedlock until she has attained the age of twenty. After
those periods, marriage is the proper sphere of action, and one in which
nearly every individual is called by nature to play his proper part.
13. Select Carefully.—While character, health, accomplishments and social
position should be considered, yet one must not overlook mental
construction and physical conformation. The rule always to be followed in
choosing a life partner is identity of taste and diversity of temperament.
Another essential is that they be physically adapted to each other. For

example: The pelvis—that part of the anatomy containing all the internal
organs of gestation—is not only essential to beauty and symmetry, but is a
matter of vital importance to her who contemplates matrimony, and its
usual consequences. Therefore, the woman with a very narrow and
contracted pelvis should never choose a man of giant physical development
lest they cannot duly realize the most important of the enjoyments of the
marriage state, while the birth of large infants will impose upon her intense
labor pains, or even cost her her life.

CHOOSE INTELLECTUALLY—LOVE AFTERWARD.

1. Love.—Let it ever be remembered that love is one of
the most sacred elements of our nature, and the most
dangerous with which to tamper. It is a very beautiful
and delicately contrived faculty, producing the most
delightful results, but easily thrown out of repair—like a
tender plant, the delicate fibers of which incline
gradually to entwine themselves around its beloved one, Explaining the
uniting two willing hearts by a thousand endearing ties, Necessity for a New
Bonnet.
and making of "twain one flesh"; but they are easily torn
asunder, and then adieu to the joys of connubial bliss!
2. Courting by the Quarter.—This courting by the quarter, "here a little
and there a little," is one of the greatest evils of the day. This getting a little
in love with Julia, and then a little with Eliza, and a little more with Mary,
—this fashionable flirtation and coquetry of both sexes—is ruinous to the
domestic affections; besides, effectually preventing the formation of true
connubial love. I consider this dissipation of the affections one of the
greatest sins against Heaven, ourselves, and the one trifled with, that can be
committed.
3. Frittering Away Affections.—Young men commence courting long
before they think of marrying, and where they entertain no thoughts of
marriage. They fritter away their own affections, and pride themselves on
their conquests over the female heart; triumphing in having so nicely fooled
them. They pursue this sinful course so far as to drive their pitiable victims,
one after another, from respectable society, who, becoming disgraced,

retaliate by heaping upon them all the indignities and impositions which the
fertile imagination of woman can invent or execute.
4. Courting Without Intending to Marry.—Nearly all this wide-spread
crime and suffering connected with public and private licentiousness and
prostitution, has its origin in these unmeaning courtships—this premature
love—this blighting of the affections, and every young man who courts
without intending to marry, is throwing himself or his sweetheart into this
hell upon earth. And most of the blame rests on young men, because they
take the liberty of paying their addresses to the ladies and discontinuing
them, at pleasure, and thereby mainly cause this vice.
5. Setting Their Caps.—True, young ladies sometimes "set their caps,"
sometimes court very hard by their bewitching smiles and affectionate
manners; by the natural language of love, or that backward reclining and
affectionate roll of the head which expresses it; by their soft and persuasive
accents; by their low dresses, artificial forms, and many other unnatural and
affected ways and means of attracting attention and exciting love; but
women never court till they have been in love and experienced its
interruption, till their first and most tender fibres of love have been
frostbitten by disappointment. It is surely a sad condition of society.
6. Trampling the Affections of Women.—But man is a
self-privileged character. He may not only violate the
laws of his own social nature with impunity, but he may
even trample upon the affections of woman. He may
even carry this sinful indulgence to almost any length,
and yet be caressed and smiled tenderly upon by woman;
aye, even by virtuous woman. He may call out, only to
blast the glowing affections of one young lady after
"HASTY
another, and yet his addresses be cordially welcomed by FAMILIARITY IS
others. Surely a gentleman is at perfect liberty to pay his FRAUGHT WITH
addresses, not only to a lady, but even to the ladies, MANY
DANGERS."
although he does not once entertain the thought of
marrying his sweet-heart, or, rather his victim. O, man,
how depraved! O, woman, how strangely blind to your own rights and
interests!

7. An Infallible Sign.—An infallible sign that a young man's intentions are
improper, is his trying to excite your passions. If he loves you, he will never
appeal to that feeling, because he respects you too much for that. And the
woman who allows a man to take advantage of her just to compel him to
marry her, is lost and heartless in the last degree, and utterly destitute of
moral principle as well as virtue. A woman's riches is her virtue, that gone
she has lost all.
8. The Beginning of Licentiousness.—Man it seldom drives from society.
Do what he may, woman, aye, virtuous and even pious woman rarely
excludes him from her list of visitors. But where is the point of propriety?
—immoral transgression should exclude either sex from respectable society.
Is it that one false step which now constitutes the boundary between virtue
and vice? Or rather, the discovery of that false step? Certainly not! but it is
all that leads to, and precedes and induces it. It is this courting without
marrying. This is the beginning of licentiousness, as well as its main,
procuring cause, and therefore infinitely worse than its consummation
merely.
9. Searing the Social Affections.—He has seared his social affections so
deeply, so thoroughly, so effectually, that when, at last, he wishes to marry,
he is incapable of loving. He marries, but is necessarily cold-hearted
towards his wife, which of course renders her wretched, if not jealous, and
reverses the faculties of both towards each other; making both most
miserable for life. This induces contention and mutual recrimination, if not
unfaithfulness, and imbitters the marriage relations through life; and well it
may.
10. Unhappy Marriages.—This very cause, besides inducing most of that
unblushing public and private prostitution already alluded to, renders a
large proportion of the marriages of the present day unhappy. Good people
mourn over the result, but do not once dream of its cause. They even pray
for moral reform, yet do the very things that increase the evil.
11. Weeping Over Her Fallen Son.—Do you see yonder godly mother,
weeping over her fallen son, and remonstrating with him in tones of a
mother's tenderness and importunity? That very mother prevented that very
son marrying the girl he dearly loved, because she was poor, and this

interruption of his love was the direct and procuring
cause of his ruin; for, if she had allowed him to marry
this beloved one, he never would have thought of giving
his "strength unto strange women." True, the mother
ruined her son ignorantly, but none the less effectually.
12. Seduction and Ruin.—That son next courts another
virtuous fair one, engages her affections, and ruins her,
or else leaves her broken-hearted, so that she is the more
easily ruined by others, and thus prepares the way for her AFTER THE
becoming an inmate of a house "whose steps take hold ENGAGEMENT.
on hell." His heart is now indifferent, he is ready for
anything.
13. The Right Principle.—I say then, with emphasis, that no man should
ever pay his addresses to any woman, until he has made his selection, not
even to aid him in making that choice. He should first make his selection
intellectually, and love afterward. He should go about the matter coolly and
with judgment, just as he would undertake any other important matter. No
man or woman, when blinded by love, is in a fit state to judge
advantageously as to what he or she requires, or who is adapted to his or her
wants.
14. Choosing First and Loving Afterwards.—I know, indeed, that this
doctrine of choosing first and loving afterward, of excluding love from the
councils, and of choosing by and with the consent of the intellect and moral
sentiments, is entirely at variance with the feelings of the young and the
customs of society; but, for its correctness, I appeal to the common-sense—
not to the experience, for so few try this plan. Is not this the only proper
method, and the one most likely to result happily? Try it.
15. The Young Woman's Caution.—And, especially, let no young lady
ever once think of bestowing her affections till she is certain they will not
be broken off—that is, until the match is fully agreed upon; but rather let
her keep her heart whole till she bestows it for life. This requisition is as
much more important, and its violation as much more disastrous to woman
than to man, as her social faculties are stronger than his.

16. A Burnt Child Dreads the Fire.—As a "burnt child dreads the fire,"
and the more it is burnt, the greater the dread: so your affections, once
interrupted, will recoil from a second love, and distrust all mankind. No!
you cannot be too choice of your love—that pivot on which turn your
destinies for life and future happiness.

Love-Spats.
For aught that ever I could read,
Could ever hear by tale or history,
The course of true love never did ran smooth."—
Shakespeare.

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."—Congreve.

"Thunderstorms clear the atmosphere and promote vegetation;
then why not Love-spats promote love, as they certainly often do?
They are almost universal, and in the nature of our differences
cannot be helped. The more two love, the more they are aggrieved
by each other's faults; of which these spats are but the correction.
Love-spats instead of being universal, they are consequent on
imperfect love, and only aggravate, never correct errors. Sexual
storms never improve, whereas love obviates faults by praising
the opposite virtues. Every view of them, practical and
philosophical, condemns them as being to love what poison is to
health, both before and after marriage. They are nothing but
married discords. Every law of mind and love condemns them.
Shun them as you would deadly vipers, and prevent them by
forestallment."—O. S. Fowler.

1. The True Facts.—Notwithstanding some of the above quotations, to the
contrary, trouble and disagreement between lovers embitters both love and
life. Contention is always dangerous, and will beget alienation if not final
separation.
2. Confirmed Affections.—Where affections are once thoroughly
confirmed, each one should be very careful in taking offense, and avoid all
disagreements as far as possible, but if disagreements continually develop

with more or less friction and irritation, it is better for the crisis to come and
a final separation take place. For peace is better than disunited love.
3. Hate-Spats.—Hate-spats, though experienced by
most lovers, yet, few realize how fatal they are to
subsequent affections. Love-spats develop into hate-
spats, and their effects upon the affections are blighting
and should not under any circumstances be tolerated.
Either agree, or agree to disagree. If there cannot be
harmony before the ties of marriage are assumed, then
there cannot be harmony after. Married life will be
continually marred by a series of "hate-spats" that sooner CUPID'S
or later will destroy all happiness, unless the couple are REBELLION
reasonably well mated.
4. More Fatal the Oftener They Occur.—As O. S. Fowler says: "'The
poison of asps is under their lips.' The first spat is like a deep gash cut into a
beautiful face, rendering it ghastly, and leaving a fearful scar, which neither
time nor cosmetics can ever efface; including that pain so fatal to love, and
blotting that sacred love-page with memory's most hideous and
imperishable visages. Cannot many now unhappy remember them as the
beginning of that alienation which embittered your subsequent affectional
cup, and spoiled your lives? With what inherent repulsion do you look back
upon them? Their memory is horrid, and effect on love most destructive."
5. Fatal Conditions.—What are all lovers' "spats" but disappointment in its
very worst form? They necessarily and always produce all its terrible
consequences. The finer feelings and sensibilities will soon become
destroyed and nothing but hatred will remain.
6. Extreme Sorrow.—After a serious "spat" there generally follows a
period of tender sorrow, and a feeling of humiliation and submission.
Mutual promises are consequently made that such a condition of things
shall never happen again, etc. But be sure and remember, that every
subsequent difficulty will require stronger efforts to repair the breach. Let it
be understood that these compromises are dangerous, and every new
difficulty increases their fatality. Even the strongest will endure but few, nor
survive many.

7. Distrust and Want of Confidence.—Most difficulties arise from distrust
or lack of confidence or common-sense. When two lovers eye each other
like two curs, each watching, lest the other should gain some new
advantage, then this shows a lack of common-sense, and the young couple
should get sensible or separate.
8. Jealousy.—When one of the lovers, once so tender, now all at once so
cold and hardened; once so coy and familiar, now suddenly so reserved,
distant, hard and austere, is always a sure case of jealousy. A jealous person
is first talkative, very affectionate, and then all at once changes and
becomes cold, reserved and repulsive, apparently without cause. If a person
is jealous before marriage, this characteristic will be increased rather than
diminished by marriage.
9. Confession.—If you make up by confession, the confessor feels mean
and disgraced; or if both confess and forgive, both feel humbled; since
forgiveness implies inferiority and pity; from which whatever is manly and
womanly shrinks. Still even this is better than continued "spats."
10. Prevention.—If you can get along well in your courtship you will
invariably make a happy couple if you should unite your destinies in
marriage. Learn not to give nor take offence. You must remember that all
humanity is imperfect at best. We all have our faults, and must keep them in
subordination. Those who truly love each other will have but few
difficulties in their courtship or in married life.
11. Remedies.—Establishing a perfect love in the beginning constitutes a
preventive. Fear that they are not truly loved usually paves the way for
"spats." Let all who make any pretension guard against all beginnings of
this reversal, and strangle these "hate-spats" the moment they arise. "Let not
the sun go down upon thy wrath," not even an hour, but let the next
sentence after they begin quench them forever. And let those who cannot
court without "spats," stop; for those who spat before marriage, must
quarrel after.

"Let not the sun go down
upon thy wrath."

A Broken Heart.
1. Wounded Love.—Tis true that love wields a magic,
sovereign, absolute, and tyrannical power over both the
body and the mind when it is given control. It often, in
case of disappointment, works havoc and deals death
blows to its victims, and leaves many in that morbid
mental condition which no life-tonics simply can restore.
Wounded love may be the result of hasty and indiscreet
conduct of young people; or the outgrowth of lust, or the
result of domestic infidelity and discord.
A BROKEN
HEART
2. Fatal Effects.—Our cemeteries receive within the
cold shadows of the grave thousands and thousands of
victims that annually die from the results of "broken hearts." It is no doubt a
fact that love troubles cause more disorders of the heart than everything else
combined.
3. Disrupted Love.—It has long been known that dogs, birds, and even
horses, when separated from their companions or friends, have pined away
and died; so it is not strange that man with his higher intuitive ideas of
affection should suffer from love when suddenly disrupted.
4. Crucifying Love.—Painful love feelings strike right to the heart, and the
breaking up of love that cannot be consummated in marriage is sometimes
allowed to crucify the affections. There is no doubt that the suffering from
disappointed love is often deeper and more intense than meeting death
itself.
5. Healing.—The paralyzing and agonizing consequences of ruptured love
can only be remedied by diversion and society. Bring the mind into a state
of patriotic independence with a full determination to blot out the past.
Those who cannot bring into subordination the pangs of disappointment in
love are not strong characters, and invariably will suffer disappointments in
almost every department of life. Disappointment in love means rising above
it, and conquering it, or demoralization, mental, physical and sexual.

6. Love Runs Mad.—Love comes unbidden. A blind ungovernable impulse
seems to hold sway in the passions of the affections. Love is blind and
seems to completely subdue and conquer. It often comes like a clap of
thunder from a clear sky, and when it falls it falls flat, leaving only the ruins
of a tornado behind.
7. Bad, Dismal, and Blue Feelings.—Despondency breathes disease, and
those who yield to it can neither work, eat nor sleep; they only suffer. The
spell-bound, fascinated, magnetized affections seem to deaden self-control
and no doubt many suffering from love-sickness are totally helpless; they
are beside themselves, irritational and wild. Men and women of genius,
influence and education, all seem to suffer alike, but they do not yield alike
to the subduing influence; some pine away and die; others rise above it, and
are the stronger and better for having been afflicted.
8. Rise above It.—Cheer up! If you cannot think pleasurably over your
misfortune, forget it. You must do this or perish. Your power and influence
is too much to blight by foolish and melancholicy pining. Your own sense,
your self-respect, your self-love, your love for others, command you not to
spoil yourself by crying over "spilt milk."
9. Retrieve Your Past Loss.—Do sun, moon, and stars
indeed rise and set in your loved one? Are there not "as
good fish in the sea as ever were caught?" and can you
not catch them? Are there not other hearts on earth just
as loving and lovely, and in every way as congenial? If
circumstances had first turned you upon another, you
would have felt about that one as now about this. Love
depends far less on the party loved than on the loving MARRIAGE ON A
DEATHBED.
one. Or is this the way either to retrieve your past loss,
or provide for the future? Is it not both unwise and self-
destructive; and in every way calculated to render your case, present and
prospective, still more hopeless?
10. Find Something to Do.—Idle hands are Satan's workshop. Employ
your mind; find something to do; something in which you can find self-
improvement; something that will fit you better to be admired by someone
else, read, and improve your mind; get into society, throw your whole soul

into some new enterprise, and you will conquer with glory and come out of
the fire purified and made more worthy.
11. Love Again.—As love was the cause of your suffering, so love again
will restore you, and you will love better and more consistently. Do not
allow yourself to become soured and detest and shun association. Rebuild
your dilapidated sexuality by cultivating a general appreciation of the
excellence, especially of the mental and moral qualities of the opposite sex.
Conquer your prejudices, and vow not to allow anyone to annoy or disturb
your calmness.
12. Love for the Dead.—A most affectionate woman, who continues to
love her affianced though long dead, instead of becoming soured or
deadened, manifests all the richness and sweetness of the fully-developed
woman thoroughly in love, along with a softened, mellow, twilight sadness
which touches every heart, yet throws a peculiar lustre and beauty over her
manners and entire character. She must mourn, but not forever. It is not her
duty to herself or to her Creator.
13. A Sure Remedy.—Come in contact with the other sex. You are infused
with your lover's magnetism, which must remain till displaced by another's.
Go to parties and picnics; be free, familiar, offhand, even forward; try your
knack at fascinating another, and yield to fascinations yourself. But be
honest, command respect, and make yourself attractive and worthy.

Former Customs and Peculiarities Among Men.
1. Polygamy.—There is a wide difference as regards the relations of the
sexes in different parts of the world. In some parts polygamy has prevailed
from time immemorial.
Most savage people are polygamists, and the Turks, though slowly
departing from the practice, still allow themselves a plurality of wives.
2. Rule Reversed.—In Thibet the rule is reversed, and the females are
provided with two or more husbands. It is said that in many instances a
whole family of brothers have but one wife. The custom has at least one
advantageous feature, viz.: the possibility of leaving an unprotected widow
and a number of fatherless children is entirely obviated.
3. The Morganatic Marriage is a modification of polygamy. It sometimes
occurs among the royalty of Europe, and is regarded as perfectly legitimate,
but the morganatic wife is of lower rank than her royal husband, and her
children do not inherit his rank or fortune. The Queen only is the consort of
the sovereign, and entitled to share his rank.
4. Different Manners of Obtaining Wives.—Among the uncivilized
almost any envied possession is taken by brute force or superior strength.
The same is true in obtaining a wife. The strong take precedence of the
weak. It is said that among the North American Indians it was the custom
for men to wrestle for the choice of women. A weak man could seldom
retain a wife that a strong man coveted.
The law of contest was not confined to individuals alone. Women were
frequently the cause of whole tribes arraying themselves against each other
in battle. The effort to excel in physical power was a great incentive to
bodily development, and since the best of the men were preferred by the
most superior women, the custom was a good one in this, that the race was
improved.

5. The Aboriginal Australian employed low cunning and heartless cruelty
in obtaining his wife. Laying in ambush, with club in hand, he would watch
for the coveted woman, and, unawares, spring upon her. If simply disabled
he carried her off as his possession, but if the blow had been hard enough to
kill, he abandoned her to watch for another victim. There is here no effort to
attract or please, no contest of strength; his courtship, if courtship it can be
called, would compare very unfavorably with any among the brute creation.
6. The Kalmuck Tartar races for his bride on horseback, she having a
certain start previously agreed upon. The nuptial knot consists in catching
her, but we are told that the result of the race all depends upon whether the
girl wants to be caught or not.
7. Sandwich Islanders.—Marriage among the early natives of these islands
was merely a matter of mutual inclination. There was no ceremony at all,
the men and women united and separated as they felt disposed.
8. The Feudal Lord, in various parts of Europe, when any of his
dependents or followers married, exercised the right of assuming the
bridegroom's proper place in the marriage couch for the first night. Seldom
was there any escape from this abominable practice. Sometimes the
husband, if wealthy, succeeded in buying off the petty sovereign from
exercising his privilege.
9. The Spartans had the custom of encouraging intercourse between their
best men and women for the sake of a superior progeny, without any
reference to a marriage ceremony. Records show that the ancient Roman
husband has been known to invite a friend, in whom he may have admired
some physical or mental trait, to share the favors of his wife, that the
peculiar qualities that he admired might be repeated in the offspring.

The Peasant Father
Blessing His
Daughter at Her
Engagement.

Hasty marriage seldom proveth well.—Shakespere, Henry VI.
The reason why so few marriages are happy is, because young
ladies spend their time in making nets, not in making cages.—
Swift, Thoughts on Various Subjects.

Sensible Hints in Choosing a Partner.
1. There are many fatal errors and many love-making failures in courtship.
Natural laws govern all nature and reduce all they govern to eternal right;
therefore love naturally, not artificially. Don't love a somebody or a nobody
simply because they have money.
2. Court Scientifically.—If you court at all, court scientifically. Bungle
whatever else you will, but do not bungle courtship. A failure in this may
mean more than a loss of wealth or public honors; it may mean ruin, or a
life often worse than death. The world is full of wretched and mismated
people.
Begin right and all will be right; begin wrong and all will end wrong.
When you court, make a business of it and study your interest the same as
you would study any other business proposition.
3. Divorces.—There is not a divorce on our court records that is not the
result of some fundamental error in courtship. The purity or the power of
love may be corrupted the same as any other faculty, and when a man
makes up his mind to marry and shuts his eyes and grabs in the dark for a
companion, he dishonors the woman he captures and commits a crime
against God and society. In this enlightened age there should be
comparatively few mistakes made in the selection of a suitable partner.
Sufficient time should be taken to study each other's character and
disposition. Association will soon reveal adaptability.
4. False Love.—Many a poor, blind and infatuated novice thinks he is
desperately in love, when there is not the least genuine affection in his
nature. It is all a momentary passion, a sort of puppy love; his vows and
pledges are soon violated, and in wedlock he will become indifferent and
cold to his wife and children, and he will go through life without ambition,
encouragement or success. He will be a failure. True love speaks for itself,
and the casual observer can read its proclamations. True love does not speak
in a whisper. It always makes itself heard. The follies of flirting develop

into many unhappy marriages, and blight many a life. A man happily
married has superior advantages both socially and financially.
5. Flirting just for Fun.—Who is the flirt, what is his reputation, motive,
or character? Every young man and woman must have a reputation; if it is
not good it is bad, there is no middle ground. Young people who are running
in the streets after dark, boisterous and noisy in their conversation,
gossiping and giggling, flirting with first one and then another, will soon
settle their matrimonial prospects among good society. Modesty is a
priceless jewel. No sensible young man with a future will marry a flirt.
6. The Arch-Deceiver.—They who win the affection simply for their own
amusement are committing a great sin for which there is no adequate
punishment. How can you shipwreck the innocent life of that confiding
maiden, how can you forget her happy looks as she drank in your
expressions of love, how can you forget her melting eyes and glowing
cheeks, her tender tone reciprocating your pretended love? Remember that
God is infinitely just, and "the soul that sinneth shall surely die." You may
dash into business, seek pleasure in the club room, and visit gambling hells,
but "Thou art the man" will ever stare you in the face. Her pale, sad cheeks,
her hollow eyes will never cease to haunt you. Men should promote
happiness, and not cause misery. Let the savage Indians torture captives to
death by the slow flaming fagot, but let civilized man respect the tenderness
and love of confiding women. Torturing the opposite sex is double-distilled
barbarity. Young men agonizing young ladies, is the cold-blooded cruelty of
devils, not men.
7. The Rule to Follow.—Do not continually pay your attentions to the
same lady if you have no desire to win her affections. Occasionally
escorting her to church, concert, picnic, party, etc., is perfectly proper; but
to give her your special attention, and extend invitations to her for all places
of amusements where you care to attend, is an implied promise that you
prefer her company above all others, and she has a right to believe that your
attentions are serious.
8. Every Girl Should Seal Her Heart against all manifested affections,
unless they are accompanied by a proposal. Woman's love is her all, and her
heart should be as flint until she finds one who is worthy of her confidence.

Young woman, never bestow your affections until by
some word or deed at least you are fully justified in
recognizing sincerity and faith in him who is paying you
special attention. Better not be engaged until twenty-two.
You are then more competent to judge the honesty and
falsity of man. Nature has thrown a wall of maidenly
modesty around you. Preserve that and not let your
affections be trifled with while too young by any THE WEDDING
youthful flirt who is in search of hearts to conquer. RING.

9. Female Flirtation.—The young man who loves a young woman has paid
her the highest compliment in the possession of man. Perpetrate almost any
sin, inflict any other torture, but spare him the agony of disappointment. It
is a crime that can never be forgiven, and a debt that never can be paid.
10. Loyalty.—Young persons with serious intentions, or those who are
engaged should be thoroughly loyal to each other. If they seek freedom with
others the flame of jealousy is likely to be kindled and love is often turned
to hatred, and the severest anger of the soul is aroused. Loyalty,
faithfulness, confidence, are the three jewels to be cherished in courtship.
Don't be a flirt.
11. Kissing, Fondling, and Caressing Between Lovers.—This should
never be tolerated under any circumstances, unless there is an engagement
to justify it, and then only in a sensible and limited way. The girl who
allows a young man the privilege of kissing her or putting his arms around
her waist before engagement will at once fall in the estimation of the man
she has thus gratified and desired to please. Privileges always injure, but
never benefit.
12. Improper Liberties During Courtship Kill Love.
—Any improper liberties which are permitted by young
ladies, whether engaged or not, will change love into
sensuality, and her affections will become obnoxious, if
not repellent. Men by nature love virtue, and for a life
companion naturally shun an amorous woman. Young SAYING "NO"
folks, as you love moral purity and virtue, never WHEN MEANING
"YES."
reciprocate love until you have required the right of

betrothal. Remember that those who are thoroughly in love will respect the
honor and virtue of each other. The purity of woman is doubly attractive,
and sensuality in her becomes doubly offensive and repellent. It is contrary
to the laws of nature for a man to love a harlot.
13. A Seducer.—The punishment of the seducer is best given by O. S.
Fowler, in his "Creative Science." The sin and punishment rest on all you
who call out only to blight a trusting, innocent, loving virgin's affections,
and then discard her. You deserve to be horsewhipped by her father,
cowhided by her brothers, branded villain by her mother, cursed by herself,
and sent to the whipping-post and dungeon.
14. Caution.—A young lady should never encourage the attentions of a
young man, who shows no interest in his sisters. If a young man is
indifferent to his sisters he will become indifferent to his wife as soon as the
honey moon is over. There are few if any exceptions to this rule. The
brother who will not be kind and loving in his mother's home will make a
very poor husband.
15. The Old Rule: "Never marry a man that does not make his mother a
Christmas present every Christmas," is a good one. The young lady makes
no mistake in uniting her destinies with the man that loves his mother and
respects his sisters and brothers.

SAFE HINTS.
1. Marry in your own position in life. If there is any
difference in social position, it is better that the husband
should be the superior. A woman does not like to look
down upon her husband, and to be obliged to do so is a
poor guarantee for their happiness.
2. It is best to marry persons of your own faith and A CHINESE
religious convictions, unless one is willing to adopt those BRIDE AND
GROOM.
of the other. Difference of faith is apt to divide families,
and to produce great trouble in after life. A pious woman
should beware of marrying an irreligious man.
3. Don't be afraid of marrying a poor man or woman. Good health, cheerful
disposition, stout hearts and industrious hands will bring happiness and
comfort.
4. Bright red hair should marry jet black, and jet black auburn or bright red,
etc. And the more red-faced and bearded or impulsive a man, the more dark,
calm, cool and quiet should his wife be; and vice versa. The florid should
not marry the florid, but those who are dark, in proportion as they
themselves are light.
5. Red-whiskered men should marry brunettes, but no blondes; the color of
the whiskers being more determinate of the temperament than that of the
hair.
6. The color of the eyes is still more important. Gray eyes must marry some
other color, almost any other except gray; and so of blue, dark, hazel, etc.
7. Those very fleshy should not marry those equally so, but those too spare
and slim; and this is doubly true of females. A spare man is much better
adapted to a fleshy woman than a round-favored man. Two who are short,
thick-set and stocky, should not unite in marriage, but should choose those
differently constituted; but on no account one of their own make. And, in

general, those predisposed to corpulence are therefore less inclined to
marriage.
8. Those with little hair or beard should marry those whose hair is naturally
abundant; still those who once had plenty, but who have lost it, may marry
those who are either bald or have but little; for in this, as in all other cases,
all depends on what one is by nature, little on present states.
9. Those whose motive-temperament decidedly predominates, who are
bony, only moderately fleshy, quite prominent-featured, Roman-nosed and
muscular, should not marry those similarly formed.
10. Small, nervous men must not marry little, nervous or sanguine women,
lest both they and their children have quite too much of the hot-headed and
impulsive, and die suddenly.
11. Two very beautiful persons rarely do or should
marry; nor two extra homely. The fact is a little singular
that very handsome women, who of course can have
their pick, rarely marry good-looking men, but generally
give preference to those who are homely; because that
exquisiteness in which beauty originates naturally blends
with that power which accompanies huge noses and
disproportionate features.
12. Rapid movers, speakers, laughers, etc., should marry Light, Life, Health
those who are calm and deliberate, and impulsives those and Beauty.
who are stoical; while those who are medium may marry
those who are either or neither, as they prefer.
13. Noses indicate characters by indicating the organisms and
temperaments. Accordingly, those noses especially marked either way
should marry those having opposite nasal characteristics. Roman noses are
adapted to those which turn up, and pug noses to those turning down; while
straight noses may marry either.
14. Men who love to command must be especially careful not to marry
imperious, women's-rights woman; while those who willingly "obey order;"
need just such. Some men require a wife who shall take their part; yet all

who do not need strong-willed women, should be careful how they marry
them.
15. A sensible woman should not marry an obstinate but injudicious,
unintelligent man; because she cannot long endure to see and help him
blindly follow his poor, but spurn her good, plans.
16. The reserved or secretive should marry the frank. A cunning man cannot
endure the least artifice in a wife. Those who are non-committal must marry
those who are demonstrative; else, however much they may love, neither
will feel sure as to the other's affections, and each will distrust the other,
while their children will be deceitful.
17. A timid woman should never marry a hesitating man, lest, like
frightened children, each keep perpetually re-alarming the other by
imaginary fears.
18. An industrious, thrifty, hard-working man should marry a woman
tolerably saving and industrious. As the "almighty dollar" is now the great
motor-wheel of humanity, and that to which most husbands devote their
entire lives, to delve alone is uphill work.

Marriage Securities.
1. Seek Each Other's Happiness.—A selfish marriage
that seeks only its own happiness defeats itself.
Happiness is a fire that will not burn long on one stick.
2. Do Not Marry Suddenly.—It can always be done till
it is done, if it is a proper thing to do.
3. Marry in Your Own Grade in Society.—It is painful WE MUST PART.
to be always apologizing for any one. It is more painful
to be apologized for.
4. Do Not Marry Downward.—It is hard enough to advance in the quality
of life without being loaded with clay heavier than your own. It will be
sufficiently difficult to keep your children up to your best level without
having to correct a bias in their blood.
5. Do Not Sell Yourself.—It matters not whether the price be money or
position.
6. Do Not Throw Yourself Away.—You will not receive too much, even if
you are paid full price.
7. Seek the Advice of Your Parents.—Your parents are your best friends.
They will make more sacrifice for you than any other mortals. They are
elevated above selfishness concerning you. If they differ from you
concerning your choice, it is because they must.
8. Do Not Marry to Please Any Third Party.—You must do the living and
enduring.
9. Do Not Marry to Spite Anybody.—It would add wretchedness to folly.
10. Do Not Marry Because Someone Else May Seek the Same Hand.—
One glove may not fit all hands equally well.

11. Do Not Marry to Get Rid of Anybody.—The coward who shot himself
to escape from being drafted was insane.
12. Do Not Marry Merely for the Impulse of Love.—Love is a principle
as well as an emotion. So far as it is a sentiment it is a blind guide. It does
not wait to test the presence of exalted character in its object before
breaking out into a flame. Shavings make a hot fire, but hard coal is better
for the Winter.
13. Do Not Marry Without Love.—A body without a soul soon becomes
offensive.
14. Test Carefully the Effect of Protracted Association.—If familiarity
breeds contempt before marriage it will afterward.
15. Test Carefully the Effect of Protracted Separation.—True love will
defy both time and space.
16. Consider Carefully the right of your children under the laws of
heredity. It is doubtful whether you have a right to increase the number of
invalids and cripples.
17. Do Not Marry Simply Because You Have Promised to Do So.—If a
seam opens between you now it will widen into a gulf. It is less offensive to
retract a mistaken promise than to perjure your soul before the altar. Your
intended spouse has a right to absolute integrity.
18. Marry Character.—It is not so much what one has
as what one is.
19. Do Not Marry the Wrong Object.—Themistocles
said he would rather marry his daughter to a man
without money than to money without a man. It is well
to have both. It is fatal to have neither.
20. Demand a Just Return.—You give virtue and GOING TO BE
MARRIED.
purity, and gentleness and integrity. You have a right to
demand the same in return. Duty requires it.
21. Require Brains.—Culture is good, but will not be transmitted. Brain
power may be.

22. Study Past Relationship.—The good daughter and sister makes a good
wife. The good son and brother makes a good husband.
23. Never Marry as a Missionary Deed.—If one needs saving from bad
habits he is not suitable for you.
24. Marriage is a Sure and Specific Remedy for all the ills known as
seminal losses. As right eating cures a sick stomach and right breathing
diseased lungs, so the right use of the sexual organs will bring relief and
restoration. Many men who have been sufferers from indiscretions of youth,
have married, and were soon cured of spermatorrhœa and other
complications which accompanied it.
25. A Good, Long Courtship will often cure many difficulties or ills of the
sexual organs. O. S. Fowler says: "See each other often spend many
pleasant hours together," have many walks and talks, think of each other
while absent, write many love letters, be inspired to many love feelings and
acts towards each other, and exercise your sexuality in a thousand forms ten
thousand times, every one of which tones up and thereby recuperates this
very element now dilapidated. When you have courted long enough to
marry, you will be sufficiently restored to be reimproved by it. Come,
Up and at it.—Dress up, spruce up, and be on the alert. Don't wait too long
to get one much more perfect than you are; but settle on some one soon.
Remember that your unsexed state renders you over-dainty, and easily
disgusted. So contemplate only their lovable qualities.
26. Purity of Purpose.—Court with a pure and loyal purpose, and when
thoroughly convinced that the disposition of other difficulties are in the way
of a happy marriage life, then honorably discuss it and honorably treat each
other in the settlement.
27. Do not trifle with the feelings or affections of each other. It is a sin that
will curse you all the days of your life.

Women Who Make the Best Wives.
1. Conscious of the Duties of Her Sex.—A woman conscious of the duties
of her sex, one who unflinchingly discharges the duties allotted to her by
nature, would no doubt make a good wife.
2. Good Wives and Mothers.—The good wives and mothers are the
women who believe in the sisterhood of women as well as in the
brotherhood of men. The highest exponent of this type seeks to make her
home something more than an abode where children are fed, clothed and
taught the catechism. The State has taken her children into politics by
making their education a function of politicians. The good wife and
homemaker says to her children, "Where thou goest, I will go." She puts off
her own inclinations to ease and selfishness. She studies the men who
propose to educate her children; she exhorts mothers to sit beside fathers on
the school-board; she will even herself accept such thankless office in the
interests of the helpless youth of the schools who need a mother's as well as
a father's and a teacher's care in this field of politics.
3. A Busy Woman.—As to whether a busy woman, that is, a woman who
labors for mankind in the world outside her home,—whether such an one
can also be a good housekeeper, and care for her children, and make a real
"Home, Sweet Home!" with all the comforts by way of variation, why! I am
ready, as the result of years practical experience as a busy woman, to assert
that women of affairs can also be women of true domestic tastes and habits.
4. Brainy Enough.—What kind of women make the best wives? The
woman who is brainy enough to be a companion, wise enough to be a
counsellor, skilled enough in the domestic virtues to be a good housekeeper,
and loving enough to guide in true paths the children with whom the home
may be blessed.
5. Found the Right Husband.—The best wife is the woman who has
found the right husband, a husband who understands her. A man will have
the best wife when he rates that wife as queen among women. Of all women

she should always be to him the dearest. This sort of man will not only
praise the dishes made by his wife, but will actually eat them.
6. Bank Account.—He will allow his life-companion a
bank account, and will exact no itemized bill at the end
of the month. Above all, he will pay the Easter bonnet
bill without a word, never bring a friend to dinner
without first telephoning home,—short, he will PUNISHMENT OF
comprehend that the woman who makes the best wife is WIFE BEATERS
IN NEW
the woman whom, by his indulgence of her ways and ENGLAND IN
whims, he makes the best wife. So after all, good THE EARLY
husbands have the most to do with making good wives. DAYS.

7. Best Home Maker.—A woman to be the best home maker needs to be
devoid of intensive "nerves." She must be neat and systematic, but not too
neat, lest she destroy the comfort she endeavors to create. She must be
distinctly amiable, while firm. She should have no "career," or desire for a
career, if she would fill to perfection the home sphere. She must be
affectionate, sympathetic and patient, and fully appreciative of the worth
and dignity of her sphere.
8. Know Nothing Whatsoever About Cooking or Sewing or
Housekeeping.—I am inclined to make my answer to this question
somewhat concise, after the manner of a text without the sermon. Like this:
To be the "best wife" depends upon three things: first, an abiding faith with
God; second, duty lovingly discharged as daughter, wife and mother; third,
self-improvement, mentally, physically, spiritually. With this as a text and as
a glittering generality, let me touch upon one or two practical essentials. In
the course of every week it is my privilege to meet hundreds of young
women,—prospective wives. I am astonished to find that many of these
know nothing whatsoever about cooking or sewing or housekeeping. Now,
if a woman cannot broil a beefsteak, nor boil the coffee when it is
necessary, if she cannot mend the linen, nor patch a coat, if she cannot make
a bed, order the dinner, create a lamp-shade, ventilate the house, nor do
anything practical in the way of making home actually a home, how can she
expect to make even a good wife, not to speak of a better or best wife? I
need not continue this sermon. Wise girls will understand.

9. The Best Keeper of Home.—As to who is the best keeper of this
transition home, memory pictures to me a woman grown white under the
old slavery, still bound by it, in that little-out-of-the-way Kansas town, but
never so bound that she could not put aside household tasks, at any time, for
social intercourse, for religious conversation, for correspondence, for
reading, and, above all, for making everyone who came near her feel that
her home was the expression of herself, a place for rest, study, and the
cultivation of affection. She did not exist for her walls, her carpets, her
furniture; they existed for her and all who came to her. She considered
herself the equal of all; and everyone else thought her the superior of all.

Adaptation, Conjugal Affection, and Fatal Errors.

ADVICE TO THE MARRIED AND UNMARRIED.

1. Marrying for Wealth.—Those who marry for wealth often get what
they marry and nothing else; for rich girls, besides being generally destitute
of both industry and economy, are generally extravagant in their
expenditures, and require servants enough to dissipate a fortune. They
generally have insatiable wants, yet feel that they deserve to be indulged in
everything, because they placed their husbands under obligation to them by
bringing them a dowry. And then the mere idea of living on the money of a
wife, and of being supported by her, is enough to tantalize any man of an
independent spirit.
2. Self-Support.—What spirited husband would not prefer to support both
himself and wife, rather than submit to this perpetual bondage of obligation.
To live upon a father, or take a patrimony from him, is quite bad enough;
but to run in debt to a wife, and owe her a living, is a little too aggravating
for endurance, especially if there be not perfect cordiality between the two,
which cannot be the case in money matches. Better live wifeless, or
anything else, rather than marry for money.
3. Money-Seekers.—Shame on sordid wife-seekers, or, rather, money-
seekers; for it is not a wife that they seek, but only filthy lucre! They violate
all their other faculties simply to gratify miserly desire. Verily such "have
their reward"!
4. The Penitent Hour.—And to you, young ladies, let me say with great
emphasis, that those who court and marry you because you are rich, will
make you rue the day of your pecuniary espousals. They care not for you,
but only your money, and when they get that, will be liable to neglect or
abuse you, and probably squander it, leaving you destitute and abandoning
you to your fate.

5. Industry the Sign of Nobility.—Marry a working, industrious young
lady, whose constitution is strong, flesh solid, and health unimpaired by
confinement, bad habits, or late hours. Give me a plain, home-spun farmer's
daughter, and you may have all the rich and fashionable belles of our cities
and villages.
6. Wasp Waists.—Marrying small waists is attended
with consequences scarcely less disastrous than
marrying rich and fashionable girls. An amply developed
chest is a sure indication of a naturally vigorous
constitution and a strong hold on life; while small waists
indicate small and feeble vital organs, a delicate
constitution, sickly offspring, and a short life. Beware of
them, therefore, unless you wish your heart broken by
the early death of your wife and children. AN ILL-MATED
COUPLE.
7. Marrying Talkers.—In marrying a wit or a talker
merely, though the brilliant scintillations of the former, or the garrulity of
the latter, may amuse or delight you for the time being, yet you will derive
no permanent satisfaction from these qualities, for there will be no common
bond of kindred feeling to assimilate your souls and hold each spell-bound
at the shrine of the other's intellectual or moral excellence.
8. The Second Wife.—Many men, especially in choosing a second wife,
are governed by her own qualifications as a housekeeper mainly, and marry
industry and economy. Though these traits of character are excellent, yet a
good housekeeper may be far from being a good wife. A good housekeeper,
but a poor wife, may indeed prepare you a good dinner, and keep her house
and children neat and tidy, yet this is but a part of the office of a wife; who,
besides all her household duties, has those of a far higher order to perform.
She should soothe you with her sympathies, divert your troubled mind, and
make the whole family happy by the gentleness of her manners, and the
native goodness of her heart. A husband should also likewise do his part.
9. Do Not Marry a Man With a Low, Flat Head; for, however
fascinating, genteel, polite, tender, plausible or winning he may be, you will
repent the day of your espousal.

10. Healthy Wives and Mothers.—Let girls romp, and let them range hill
and dale in search of flowers, berries, or any other object of amusement or
attraction; let them bathe often, skip the rope, and take a smart ride on
horseback; often interspersing these amusements with a turn of sweeping or
washing, in order thereby to develop their vital organs, and thus lay a
substantial physical foundation for becoming good wives and mothers. The
wildest romps usually make the best wives, while quiet, still, demure,
sedate and sedentary girls are not worth having.
11. Small Stature.—In passing, I will just remark, that good size is
important in wives and mothers. A small stature is objectionable in a
woman, because little women usually have too much activity for their
strength, and, consequently, feeble constitutions; hence they die young, and
besides, being nervous, suffer extremely as mothers.
12. Hard Times and Matrimony.—Many persons, particularly young men,
refuse to marry, especially "these hard times," because they cannot support
a wife in the style they wish. To this I reply, that a good wife will care less
for the style in which she is supported, than for you. She will cheerfully
conform to your necessities, and be happy with you in a log-cabin. She will
even help you support yourself. To support a good wife, even if she have
children, is really less expensive than to board alone, besides being one of
the surest means of acquiring property.
13. Marrying for a Home.—Do not, however, marry for a home merely,
unless you wish to become even more destitute with one than without one;
for, it is on the same footing with "marrying for money." Marry a man for
his merit, and you take no chances.
14. Marry to Please No One But Yourself.—Marriage is a matter
exclusively your own; because you alone must abide its consequences. No
person, not even a parent, has the least right to interfere or dictate in this
matter. I never knew a marriage, made to please another, to turn out any
otherwise than most unhappily.
15. Do Not Marry to Please Your Parents. Parents cannot love for their
children any more than they can eat or sleep, or breathe, or die and go to
heaven for them. They may give wholesome advice merely, but should
leave the entire decision to the unbiased judgment of the parties themselves,

who mainly are to experience the consequences of their choice. Besides,
such is human nature, that to oppose lovers, or to speak against the person
beloved, only increases their desire and determination to marry.
16. Run-Away Matches.—Many a run-away match would never have
taken place but for opposition or interference. Parents are mostly to be
blamed for these elopements. Their children marry partly out of spite and to
be contrary. Their very natures tell them that this interference is unjust—as
it really is—and this excites combativeness, firmness, and self-esteem, in
combination with the social faculties, to powerful and even blind resistance
—which turmoil of the faculties hastens the match. Let the affections of a
daughter be once slightly enlisted in your favor, and then let the "old folks"
start an opposition, and you may feel sure of your prize. If she did not love
you before, she will now, that you are persecuted.
17. Disinheritance.—Never disinherit, or threaten to disinherit, a child for
marrying against your will. If you wish a daughter not to marry a certain
man, oppose her, and she will be sure to marry him; so also in reference to a
son.
18. Proper Training.—The secret is, however, all in a nutshell. Let the
father properly train his daughter, and she will bring her first love-letter to
him, and give him an opportunity to cherish a suitable affection, and to nip
an improper one in the germ, before it has time to do any harm.
19. The Fatal Mistakes of Parents.—There is, however, one way of
effectually preventing an improper match, and that is, not to allow your
children to associate with any whom you are unwilling they should marry.
How cruel as well as unjust, to allow a daughter to associate with a young
man till the affections of both are riveted, and then forbid her marrying
him. Forbid all association or consent cheerfully to the marriage.
20. An Intemperate Lover.—Do not flatter yourselves, young women, that
you can wean even an occasional wine drinker from his cups by love and
persuasion. Ardent spirit at first, kindles up the fires of love into the fierce
flames at burning licentiousness, which burn out every element of love and
destroy every vestige of pure affection. It over-excites the passions, and
thereby finally destroys it,—producing at first, unbridled libertinism, and
then an utter barrenness of love; besides reversing the other faculties of the

drinker against his own consort, and those of the wife against her drinking
husband.

FIRST LOVE, DESERTION AND DIVORCE.
1. First Love.—This is the most important direction of all. The first love
experiences a tenderness, a purity and unreservedness, an exquisiteness, a
devotedness, and a poetry belonging to no subsequent attachment. "Love,
like life, has no second spring." Though a second attachment may be
accompanied by high moral feeling, and to a devotedness to the object
loved; yet, let love be checked or blighted in its first pure emotion, and the
beauty of its spring is irrecoverably withered and lost. This does not mean
the simple love of children in the first attachment they call love, but rather
the mature intelligent love of those of suitable age.
2. Free from Temptations.—As long as his heart is
bound up in its first bundle of love and devotedness—as
long as his affections remain reciprocated and
uninterrupted—so long temptations cannot take effect.
His heart is callous to the charms of others, and the very
idea of bestowing his affections upon another is
abhorrent. Much more so is animal indulgence, which is
morally impossible.
3. Second Love not Constant.—But let this first love be CONSIDERING
broken off, and the flood-gates of passion are raised. THE QUESTION.
Temptations now flow in upon him. He casts a lustful
eye upon every passing female, and indulges unchaste imaginations and
feelings. Although his conscientiousness or intellect may prevent actual
indulgence, yet temptations now take effect, and render him liable to err;
whereas before they had no power to awaken improper thoughts or feelings.
Thus many young men find their ruin.
4. Legal Marriage.—What would any woman give for merely a nominal or
legal husband, just to live with and provide for her, but who entertained not
one spark of love for her, or whose affections were bestowed upon another?
How absurd, how preposterous the doctrine that the obligations of marriage
derive their sacredness from legal enactments and injunctions! How it

literally profanes this holy of holies, and drags down this heaven-born
institution from its original, divine elevation, to the level of a merely human
device. Who will dare to advocate the human institution of marriage
without the warm heart of a devoted and loving companion!
5. Legislation.—But no human legislation can so guard this institution but
that it may be broken in spirit, though, perhaps, acceded to in form; for, it is
the heart which this institution requires. There must be true and devoted
affection, or marriage is a farce and a failure.
6. The Marriage Ceremony and the Law Governing Marriage are for
the protection of the individual, yet a man and woman may be married by
law and yet unmarried in spirit. The law may tie together, and no marriage
be consummated. Marriage therefore is Divine, and "whom God hath joined
together let no man put asunder." A right marriage means a right state of the
heart. A careful study of this work will be a great help to both the unmarried
and the married.
7. Desertion and Divorce.—For a young man to court a young woman, and
excite her love till her affections are riveted, and then (from sinister
motives, such as, to marry one richer, or more handsome), to leave her, and
try elsewhere, is the very same crime as to divorce her from all that she
holds dear on earth—to root up and pull out her imbedded affections, and to
tear her from her rightful husband. First love is always constant. The second
love brings uncertainty—too often desertions before marriage and divorces
after marriage.
8. The Coquet.—The young woman to play the coquet, and sport with the
sincere affections of an honest and devoted young man, is one of the highest
crimes that human nature can commit. Better murder him in body too, as
she does in soul and morals, and it is the result of previous disappointment,
never the outcome of a sincere first love.
9. One Marriage. One evidence that second marriages are contrary to the
laws of our social nature, is the fact that almost all step-parents and step-
children disagree. Now, what law has been broken, to induce this penalty?
The law of marriage; and this is one of the ways in which the breach
punishes itself. It is much more in accordance with our natural feelings,

especially those of mothers, that children should be brought up by their own
parent.
10. Second Marriage.—Another proof of this point is, that second
marriage is more a matter of business. "I'll give you a home, if you'll take
care of my children." "It's a bargain," is the way most second matches are
made. There is little of the poetry of first-love, and little of the coyness and
shrinking diffidence which characterize the first attachment. Still these
remarks apply almost equally to a second attachment, as to second
marriage.
11. The Conclusion of the Whole Matter.—Let this portion be read and
pondered, and also the one entitled, "Marry your First Love if possible,"
which assigns the cause, and points out the only remedy, of licentiousness.
As long as the main cause of this vice exists, and is aggravated by purse-
proud, high-born, aristocratic parents and friends, and even by the virtuous
and religious, just so long, and exactly in the same ratio will this blighting
Sirocco blast the fairest flowers of female innocence and lovliness, and
blight our noblest specimens of manliness. No sin of our land is greater.

CUPID'S CHARM.

Flirting and Its Dangers.
1. No Excuse.—In this country there is no excuse for the
young man who seeks the society of the loose and the
dissolute. There is at all times and everywhere open to
him a society of persons of the opposite sex of his own
age and of pure thoughts and lives, whose conversation
will refine him and drive from his bosom ignoble and
impure thoughts.
2. The Dangers.—The young man who may take HOW MANY
pleasure in the fact that he is the hero of half a dozen or YOUNG GIRLS
more engagements and love episodes, little realizes that ARE RUINED.
such constant excitement often causes not only
dangerously frequent and long-continued nocturnal emissions, but most
painful affections of the testicles. Those who show too great familiarity
with the other sex, who entertain lascivious thoughts, continually exciting
the sexual desires, always suffer a weakening of power and sometimes the
actual diseases of degeneration, chronic inflammation of the gland,
spermatorrhœa, impotence, and the like.—Young man, beware; your
punishment for trifling with the affections of others may cost you a life of
affliction.
3. Remedy.—Do not violate the social laws. Do not trifle with the
affections of your nature. Do not give others countless anguish, and also do
not run the chances of injuring yourself and others for life. The society of
refined and pure women is one of the strongest safeguards a young man can
have, and he who seeks it will not only find satisfaction, but happiness.
Simple friendship and kind affections for each other will ennoble and
benefit.
4. The Time for Marriage.—When a young man's means permit him to
marry, he should then look intelligently for her with whom he expects to
pass the remainder of his life in perfect loyalty, and in sincerity and
singleness of heart. Seek her to whom he is ready to swear to be ever true.

5. Breach of Confidence.—Nothing is more certain, says Dr. Naphey, to
undermine domestic felicity, and sap the foundation of marital happiness,
than marital infidelity. The risks of disease which a married man runs in
impure intercourse are far more serious, because they not only involve
himself, but his wife and his children. He should know that there is nothing
which a woman will not forgive sooner than such a breach of confidence.
He is exposed to the plots and is pretty certain sooner or later to fall into the
snares of those atrocious parties who subsist on blackmail. And should he
escape these complications, he still must lose self-respect, and carry about
with him the burden of a guilty conscience and a broken vow.
6. Society Rules and Customs.—A young man can enjoy the society of
ladies without being a "flirt." He can escort ladies to parties, public places
of interest, social gatherings, etc., without showing special devotion to any
one special young lady. When he finds the choice of his heart, then he will
be justified to manifest it, and publicly proclaim it by paying her the
compliment, exclusive attention. To keep a lady's company six months is a
public announcement of an engagement.

A Word to Maidens.
1. No Young Lady who is not willing to assume the responsibility of a true
wife, and be crowned with the sacred diadem of motherhood, should ever
think of getting married. We have too many young ladies to-day who
despise maternity, who openly vow that they will never be burdened with
children, and yet enter matrimony at the first opportunity. What is the
result? Let echo answer, What? Unless a young lady believes that
motherhood is noble, is honorable, is divine, and she is willing to carry out
that sacred function of her nature, she had a thousand times better refuse
every proposal, and enter some honorable occupation and wisely die an old
maid by choice.
2. On the Other Hand, Young Lady, never enter into the physical relations
of marriage with a man until you have conversed with him freely and fully
on these relations. Learn distinctly his views and feelings and expectations
in regard to that purest and most ennobling of all the functions of your
nature, and the most sacred of all intimacies of conjugal love. Your self-
respect, your beauty, your glory, your heaven, as a wife, will be more
directly involved in his feelings and views and practices, in regard to that
relation, than in all other things. As you would not become a weak,
miserable, imbecile, unlovable and degraded wife and mother, in the very
prime of your life, come to a perfect understanding with your chosen one,
ere you commit your person to his keeping in the sacred intimacies of
home. Beware of that man who, under pretence of delicacy, modesty, and
propriety, shuns conversation with you on this relation, and on the hallowed
function of maternity.
3. Talk With Your Intended frankly and openly. Remember, concealment
and mystery in him, towards you, on all other subjects pertaining to
conjugal union might be overlooked, but if he conceals his views here, rest
assured it bodes no good to your purity and happiness as a wife and mother.
You can have no more certain assurance that you are to be victimized, your
soul and body offered up, slain, on the altar of his sensualism, than his
unwillingness to converse with you on subjects so vital to your happiness.

Unless he is willing to hold his manhood in abeyance to the calls of your
nature and to your conditions, and consecrate its passions and its powers to
the elevation and happiness of his wife and children, your maiden soul had
better return to God unadorned with the diadem of conjugal and maternal
love than that you should become the wife of such a man and the mother of
his children.

ROMAN LOVE
MAKING.

POPPING THE QUESTION.
1. Making the Declaration.—There are few
emergencies in business and few events in life that bring
to man the trying ordeal of "proposing to a lady." We
should be glad to help the bashful lover in his hours of
perplexity, embarrassment and hesitation, but
unfortunately we cannot pop the question for him, nor
give him a formula by which he may do it. Different
Uniformed Men are
circumstances and different surroundings compel every always Popular
lover to be original in his form or mode of proposing. with the Ladies.

2. Bashfulness.—If a young man is very bashful, he should write his
sentiments in a clear, frank manner on a neat white sheet of note paper,
enclose it in a plain white envelope and find some way to convey it to the
lady's hand.
3. The Answer.—If the beloved one's heart is touched, and she is in
sympathy with the lover, the answer should be frankly and unequivocally
given. If the negative answer is necessary, it should be done in the kindest
and most sympathetic language, yet definite, positive and to the point, and
the gentleman should at once withdraw his suit and continue friendly but
not familiar.
4. Saying "No" for "Yes."—If girls are foolish enough to say "No" when
they mean "Yes," they must suffer the consequences which often follow. A
man of intelligence and self-respect will not ask a lady twice. It is begging
for recognition and lowers his dignity, should he do so. A lady is supposed
to know her heart sufficiently to consider the question to her satisfaction
before giving an answer.
5. Confusion of Words and Misunderstanding.—Sometimes a man's
happiness, has depended on his manner of popping the question. Many a
time the girl has said "No" because the question was so worded that the
affirmative did not come from the mouth naturally; and two lives that

gravitated toward each other with all their inward force have been thrown
suddenly apart, because the electric keys were not carefully touched.
6. Scriptural Declaration.—The church is not the proper place to conduct
a courtship, yet the following is suggestive and ingenious.
A young gentleman, familiar with the Scriptures, happening to sit in a pew
adjoining a young lady for whom he conceived a violent attachment, made
his proposal in this way: He politely handed his neighbor a Bible open, with
a pin stuck in the following text: Second Epistle of John, verse 5:
"And I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto
thee, but that we had from the beginning, that we love one another."
She returned it, pointing to the second chapter of Ruth,
verse 10: "Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself
to the ground, and said unto him. Why have I found
grace in thine eyes that thou shouldest take knowledge of
me, seeing I am a stranger?"
He returned the book, pointing to the 13th verse of the
Third Epistle of John: "Having many things to write unto SEALING THE
you, I would not write to you with paper and ink, but ENGAGEMENT.
trust to come unto you and speak face to face, that your From the Most
Celebrated Painting
joy may be full." in the German
Department at the
From the above interview a marriage took place the World's Fair.
ensuing month in the same church.
7. How Jenny was Won.

On a sunny Summer morning,
Early as the dew was dry,
Up the hill I went a berrying;
Need I tell you—tell you why?

Farmer Davis had a daughter,
And it happened that I knew,
On each sunny morning, Jenny
Up the hill went berrying too.

Lonely work is picking berries,
So I joined her on the hill:
"Jenny, dear," said I, "your basket's
Quite too large for one to fill."

So we stayed—we two—to fill it,
Jenny talking—I was still.—
Leading where the hill was steepest,
Picking berries up the hill.

"This is up-hill work," said Jenny;
"So is life," said I; "shall we
Climb it each alone, or, Jenny,
Will you come and climb with me?"

Redder than the blushing berries
Jenny's cheek a moment grew,
While without delay she answered,
"I will come and climb with you."

8. A Romantic Way for Proposing.—In Peru they have a romantic way of
popping the question. The suitor appears on the appointed evening, with a
gaily dressed troubadour, under the balcony of his beloved. The singer steps
before her flower-bedecked window, and sings her beauties in the name of
her lover. He compares her size to that of a pear-tree, her lips to two
blushing rose-buds, and her womanly form to that of a dove. With assumed
harshness the lady asks her lover: "Who are you, and what do you want?"
He answers with ardent confidence: "Thy love I do adore, The stars live in
the harmony of love, and why should not we, too, love each other?" Then
the proud beauty gives herself away: she takes her flower-wreath from her
hair and throws it down to her lover, promising to be his forever.

A PERUVIAN
BEAUTY.

The Wedding.
1. The Proper Time.—Much has been printed in various
volumes regarding the time of the year, the influence of
the seasons, etc., as determining the proper time to set
for the wedding day. Circumstances must govern these
things. To be sure, it is best to avoid extremes of heat
and cold. Very hot weather is debilitating, and below
zero is uncomfortable.
THE BRIDE.
2. The Lady Should Select the Day.—There is one
element in the time that is of great importance,
physically, especially to the lady. It is the day of the month, and it is hoped
that every lady who contemplates marriage is informed upon the great facts
of ovulation. By reading page 245 she will understand that it is to her
advantage to select a wedding day about fifteen or eighteen days after the
close of menstruation in the month chosen, since it is not best that the first
child should be conceived during the excitement or irritation of first
attempts at congress; besides modest brides naturally do not wish to become
large with child before the season of congratulation and visiting on their
return from the "wedding tour" is over.
Again, it is asserted by many of the best writers on this subject, that the
mental condition of either parent at the time of intercourse will be stamped
upon the embryo; hence it is not only best, but wise, that the first-born
should not be conceived until several months after marriage, when the
husband and wife have nicely settled in their new home, and become calm
in their experience of each other's society.
3. The "Bridal Tour" is considered by many newly-married couples as a
necessary introduction to a life of connubial joy. There is, in our opinion,
nothing in the custom to recommend it. After the excitement and overwork
before and accompanying a wedding, the period immediately following
should be one of rest.

Again, the money expended on the ceremony and a tour of the principal
cities, etc., might, in most cases, be applied to a multitude of after-life
comforts of far more lasting value and importance. To be sure, it is not
pleasant for the bride, should she remain at home, to pass through the ordeal
of criticism and vulgar comments of acquaintances and friends, and hence,
to escape this, the young couple feel like getting away for a time.
Undoubtedly the best plan for the great majority, after this most eventful
ceremony, is to enter their future home at once, and there to remain in
comparative privacy until the novelty of the situation is worn off.
4. If the Conventional Tour is taken, the husband should remember that
his bride cannot stand the same amount of tramping around and sight-seeing
that he can. The female organs of generation are so easily affected by
excessive exercise of the limbs which support them, that at this critical
period it would be a foolish and costly experience to drag a lady hurriedly
around the country on an extensive and protracted round of sight-seeing or
visiting. Unless good common-sense is displayed in the manner of spending
the "honey-moon," it will prove very untrue to its name. In many cases it
lays the foundation for the wife's first and life-long "backache."

Advice to Newly Married Couples.
1. "Be Ye Fruitful and Multiply" is a Bible
commandment which the children of men habitually
obey. However they may disagree on other subjects, all
are in accord on this; the barbarous, the civilized, the
high, the low, the fierce, the gentle—all unite in the
desire which finds its accomplishment in the
reproduction of their kind. Who shall quarrel with the
Divinely implanted instinct, or declare it to be vulgar or
unmentionable? It is during the period of the honeymoon
that the intensity of this desire, coupled with the greatest THE HONEY-
curiosity, is at its height, and the unbridled license often MOON.
given the passions at this time is attended with the most
dangerous consequences.
2. Consummation of Marriage.—The first time that the husband and wife
cohabit together after the ceremony has been performed is called the
consummation of marriage. Many grave errors have been committed by
people in this, when one or both of the contracting parties were not
physically or sexually in a condition to carry out the marriage relation. A
marriage, however, is complete without this in the eyes of the law, as it is a
maxim taken from the Roman civil statutes that consent, not cohabitation, is
the binding element in the ceremony. Yet, in most States of the U.S., and in
some other countries; marriage is legally declared void and of no effect
where it is not possible to consummate the marriage relation. A divorce may
be obtained provided the injured party begins the suit.
3. Test of Virginity.—The consummation of marriage with a virgin is not
necessarily attended with a flow of blood, and the absence of this sign is not
the slightest presumption against her former chastity. The true test of
virginity is modesty void of any disagreeable familiarity. A sincere
Christian faith is one of the best recommendations.

4. Let Every Man Remember that the legal right of marriage does not
carry with it the moral right to injure for life the loving companion he has
chosen. Ignorance may be the cause, but every man before he marries
should know something of the physiology and the laws of health, and we
here give some information which is of very great importance to every
newly-married man.
5. Sensuality.—Lust crucifies love. The young sensual husband is generally
at fault. Passion sways and the duty to bride and wife is nor thought of, and
so a modest young wife is often actually forced and assaulted by the
unsympathetic haste of her husband. An amorous man in that way soon
destroys his own love, and thus is laid the foundation for many difficulties
that soon develop trouble and disturb the happiness of both.
6. Abuse After Marriage.—Usually marriage is consummated within a day
or two after the ceremony, but this is gross injustice to the bride. In most
cases she is nervous, timid, and exhausted by the duties of preparation for
the wedding, and in no way in a condition, either in body or mind, for the
vital change which the married relation bring upon her. Many a young
husband often lays the foundation of many diseases of the womb and of the
nervous system in gratifying his unchecked passions without a proper
regard for his wife's exhausted condition.
7. The First Conjugal Approaches are usually painful to the new wife, and
no enjoyment to her follows. Great caution and kindness should be
exercised. A young couple rushing together in their animal passion soon
produce a nervous and irritating condition which ere long brings apathy,
indifference, if not dislike. True love and a high regard for each other will
temper passion into moderation.
8. Were the Above Injunctions Heeded fully and literally it would be folly
to say more, but this would be omitting all account of the bridegroom's new
position, the power of his passion, and the timidity of the fair creature who
is wondering what fate has in store for her trembling modesty. To be sure,
there are some women who are possessed of more forward natures and
stronger desires than others. In such cases there may be less trouble.
9. A Common Error.—The young husband may have read in some treatise
on physiology that the hymen in a virgin is the great obstacle to be

overcome. He is apt to conclude that this is all, that some force will be
needed to break it down, and that therefore an amount of urgency even to
the degree of inflicting considerable pain is justifiable. This is usually
wrong. It rarely constitutes any obstruction, and, even when its rupturing
may be necessary, it alone seldom causes suffering.
There are sometimes certain deformities of the vagina, but no woman
should knowingly seek matrimonial relations when thus afflicted.
We quote from Dr. C. A. Huff the following:
10. "What Is It, then, that Usually Causes distress to many women,
whether a bride or a long-time wife?" The answer is, Simply those
conditions of the organs in which they are not properly prepared, by
anticipation and desire, to receive a foreign body. The modest one craves
only refined and platonic love at first, and if husbands, new and old, would
only realize this plain truth, wife-torturing would cease and the happiness of
each one of all human pairs vastly increase.
11. The Conditions of the Female organs depend upon the state of the
mind just as much as in the case of the husband. The male, however, being
more sensual, is more quickly roused. She is far less often or early ready. In
its unexcited state the vagina is lax, its walls are closed together, and their
surfaces covered by but little lubricating secretion. The chaster one of the
pair has no desire that this sacred vestibule to the great arcana of
procreation shall be immediately and roughly invaded. This, then, is the
time for all approaches by the husband to be of the most delicate,
considerate, and refined description possible. The quietest and softest
demeanor, with gentle and re-assuring words, are all that should be
attempted at first. The wedding day has probably been one of fatigue, and it
is foolish to go farther.
12. For More Than One Night it will be wise, indeed, if the wife's
confidence shall be as much wooed and won by patient, delicate, and
prolonged courting, as before the marriage engagement. How long should
this period of waiting be can only be decided by the circumstances of any
case. The bride will ultimately deny no favor which is sought with full
deference to her modesty, and in connection with which bestiality is not
exhibited. Her nature is that of delicacy; her affection is of a refined

character; if the love and conduct offered to her are a careful effort to adapt
roughness and strength to her refinement and weakness, her admiration and
responsive love will be excited to the utmost.
13. When That Moment Arrives when the bride finds she can repose
perfect confidence in the kindness of her husband, that his love is not purely
animal, and that no violence will be attempted, the power of her affection
for him will surely assert itself; the mind will act on those organs which
nature has endowed to fulfil the law of her being, the walls of the vagina
will expand, and the glands at the entrance will be fully lubricated by a
secretion of mucous which renders congress a matter of comparative ease.
14. When This Responsive Enlargement and lubrication are fully
realized, it is made plain why the haste and force so common to first and
subsequent coition is, as it has been justly called, nothing but "legalized
rape." Young husband! Prove your manhood, not by yielding to unbridled
lust and cruelty, but by the exhibition of true power in self-control and
patience with the helpless being confided to your care! Prolong the
delightful season of courting into and through wedded life, and rich shall be
your reward.
15. A Want of Desire may often prevail, and may be caused by loss of
sleep, study, constant thought, mental disturbance, anxiety, self-abuse,
excessive use of tobacco or alcoholic drink, etc. Overwork may cause
debility; a man may not have an erection for months, yet it may not be a
sign of debility, sexual lethargy or impotence. Get the mind and the physical
constitution in proper condition, and most all these difficulties will
disappear. Good athletic exercise by walking, riding, or playing croquet, or
any other amusement, will greatly improve the condition. A good rest,
however, will be necessary to fully restore the mind and the body, then the
natural condition of the sexual organs will be resumed.
16. Having Twins.—Having twins is undoubtedly hereditary and descends
from generation to generation, and persons who have twins are generally
those who have great sexual vigor. It is generally the result of a second
cohabitation immediately following the first, but some parents have twins
who cohabit but once during several days.

17. Proper Intercourse.—The right relation of a newly-married couple will
rather increase than diminish love. To thus offer up the maiden on the altar
of love and affection only swells her flood of joy and bliss; whereas, on the
other hand, sensuality humbles, debases, pollutes, and never elevates.
Young husbands should wait for an invitation to the banquet, and they will
be amply paid by the very pleasure sought. Invitation or permission
delights, and possession by force degrades. The right-minded bridegroom
will postpone the exercise of his nuptial rights for a few days, and allow his
young wife to become rested from the preparation and fatigue of the
wedding, and become accustomed to the changes in her new relations of
life.
18. Rightly Beginning Sexual Life.—Intercourse promotes all the
functions of the body and mind, but rampant lust and sexual abuses soon
destroy the natural pleasures of intercourse, and unhappiness will be the
result. Remember that intercourse should not become the polluted purpose
of marriage. To be sure, rational enjoyment benefits and stimulates love, but
the pleasure of each other's society, standing together on all questions of
mutual benefit, working hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder in the battle
of life, raising a family of beautiful children, sharing each other's joys and
sorrows, are the things that bring to every couple the best, purest, and
noblest enjoyment that God has bestowed upon man.

A TURKISH
HAREM.

Sexual Proprieties and Improprieties.
1. To have offspring is not to be regarded as a luxury, but as a great primary
necessity of health and happiness, of which every fully-developed man and
woman should have a fair share, while it cannot be denied that the
ignorance of the necessity of sexual intercourse to the health and virtue of
both man and woman is the most fundamental error in medical and moral
philosophy.
2. In a state of pure nature, where man would have his sexual instincts
under full and natural restraint, there would be little, if any, licentiousness,
and children would be the result of natural desire, and not the accidents of
lust.
3. This is an age of sensuality; unnatural passions are cultivated and
indulged. Young people in the course of their engagement often sow the
seed of serious excesses. This habit of embracing, sitting on the lover's lap,
leaning on his breast, long and uninterrupted periods of secluded
companionship, have become so common that it is amazing how a young
lady can safely arrive at the wedding day. While this conduct may safely
terminate with the wedding day, yet it cultivates the tendency which often
results in excessive indulgencies after the honey-moon is over.
4. Separate Beds.—Many writers have vigorously championed as a reform
the practice of separate beds for husband and wife. While we would not
recommend such separation, it is no doubt very much better for both
husband and wife, in case the wife is pregnant. Where people are
reasonably temperate, no such ordinary precautions as separate sleeping
places may be necessary. But in case of pregnancy it will add rest to the
mother and add vigor to the unborn child. Sleeping together, however, is
natural and cultivates true affection, and it is physiologically true that in
very cold weather life is prolonged by husband and wife sleeping together.
5. The Authority of the Wife.—Let the wife judge whether she desires a
separate couch or not. She has the superior right to control her own person.

In such diseases as consumption, or other severe or lingering diseases,
separate beds should always be insisted upon.
6. The Time for Indulgence.—The health of the generative functions
depends upon exercise, just the same as any other vital organ. Intercourse
should be absolutely avoided just before or after meals, or just after mental
excitement or physical exercise. No wife should indulge her husband when
he is under the influence of alcoholic stimulants, for idiocy and other
serious maladies are liable to be visited upon the offspring.
7. Restraint during Pregnancy.—There is no question but what moderate
indulgence during the first few months of pregnancy does not result in
serious harm; but people who excessively satisfy their ill-governed passions
are liable to pay a serious penalty.
8. Miscarriage.—If a woman is liable to abortion or miscarriage, absolute
abstinence is the only remedy. No sexual indulgence during pregnancy can
be safely tolerated.
9. It is better for people not to marry until they are of proper age. It is a
physiological fact that men seldom reach the full maturity of their virile
power before the age of twenty-five, and the female rarely attains the full
vigor of her sexual powers before the age of twenty.
10. Illicit Pleasures.—The indulgence of illicit pleasures, says Dr. S.
Pancoast, sooner or later is sure to entail the most loathsome diseases on
their votaries. Among these diseases are Gonorrhœa, Syphilis,
Spermatorrhœa (waste of semen by daily and nightly involuntary
emissions), Satyriasis (a species of sexual madness, or a sexual diabolism,
causing men to commit rape and other beastly acts and outrages, not only
on women and children, but men and animals, as sodomy, pederasty, etc.),
Nymphomania (causing women to assail every man they meet, and
supplicate and excite him to gratify their lustful passions, or who resort to
means of sexual pollutions, which is impossible to describe without
shuddering), together with spinal diseases and many disorders of the most
distressing and disgusting character, filling the bones with rottenness, and
eating away the flesh by gangrenous ulcers, until the patient dies, a horrible
mass of putridity and corruption.

11. Sensuality.—Sensuality is not love, but an unbridled desire which kills
the soul. Sensuality will drive away the roses in the cheeks of womanhood,
undermine health and produce a brazen countenance that can be read by all
men. The harlot may commit her sins in the dark, but her countenance
reveals her character and her immorality is an open secret.
12. Sexual Temperance.—All excesses and absurdities of every kind
should be carefully avoided. Many of the female disorders which often
revenge themselves in the cessation of all sexual pleasure are largely due to
the excessive practice of sexual indulgence.
13. Frequency.—Some writers claim that intercourse should never occur
except for the purpose of childbearing; but such restraint is not natural and
consequently not conducive to health. There are many conditions in which
the health of the mother and offspring must be respected. It is now held that
it is nearer a crime than a virtue to prostitute woman to the degradation of
breeding animals by compelling her to bring into life more offspring than
can be born healthy, or be properly cared for and educated.
14. In this work we shall attempt to specify no rule, but simply give advice
as to the health and happiness of both man and wife. A man should not
gratify his own desires at the expense of his wife's health, comfort or
inclination. Many men no doubt harass their wives and force many burdens
upon their slender constitutions. But it is a great sin and no true husband
will demand unreasonable recognition. The wife when physically able,
however, should bear with her husband. Man is naturally sensitive on this
subject, and it takes but little to alienate his affections and bring discord into
the family.
15. The best writers lay down the rule for the government of the marriage-
bed, that sexual indulgence should only occur about once in a week or ten
days, and this of course applies only to those who enjoy a fair degree of
health. But it is a hygienic and physiological fact that those who indulge
only once a month receive a far greater degree of the intensity of enjoyment
than those who indulge their passions more frequently. Much pleasure is
lost by excesses where much might be gained by temperance, giving rest to
the organs for the accumulation of nervous force.

How to Perpetuate the Honey-Moon.
1. Continue Your Courtship.—Like causes produce like effects.
2. Neglect of Your Companion.—Do not assume a right to neglect your
companion more after marriage than you did before.
3. Secrets.—Have no secrets that you keep from your companion. A third
party is always disturbing.
4. Avoid the Appearance of Evil.—In matrimonial matters it is often that
the mere appearance contains all the evil. Love, as soon as it rises above
calculation and becomes love, is exacting. It gives all, and demands all.
5. Once Married, Never Open Your Mind to Any Change.—If you keep
the door of your purpose closed, evil or even desirable changes cannot
make headway without help.
6. Keep Step in Mental Development.—A tree that grows for forty years
may take all the sunlight from a tree that stops growing at twenty.
7. Keep a Lively Interest in the Business of the Home.—Two that do not
pull together are weaker than either alone.
8. Gauge Your Expenses by Your Revenues.—Love must eat. The sheriff
often levies on Cupid long before he takes away the old furniture.
9. Start From Where Your Parents Started Rather than from Where
They Now Are.—Hollow and showy boarding often furnishes the too
strong temptation, while the quietness of a humble home would cement the
hearts beyond risk.
10. Avoid Debt.—Spend your own money, but earn it first, then it will not
be necessary to blame any one for spending other people's.
11. Do Not Both Get Angry at the Same Time.—Remember, it takes two
to quarrel.

12. Do Not Allow Yourself Ever to Come to an Open Rupture.—Things
unsaid need less repentance.
13. Study to Conform Your Tastes and Habits to the Tastes and Habits
of Your Companion.—If two walk together, they must agree.

How to Be a Good Wife.
1. Reverence Your Husband.—He sustains by God's order a position of
dignity as head of a family, head of the woman. Any breaking down of this
order indicates a mistake in the union, or a digression from duty.
2. Love Him.—A wife loves as naturally as the sun shines. Love is your
best weapon. You conquered him with that in the first place. You can
reconquer by the same means.
3. Do Not Conceal Your Love from Him.—If he is crowded with care, and
too busy to seem to heed your love, you need to give all the greater
attention to securing his knowledge of your love. If you intermit he will
settle down into a hard, cold life with increased rapidity. Your example will
keep the light on his conviction. The more he neglects the fire on the hearth,
the more carefully must you feed and guard it. It must not be allowed to go
out. Once out you must sit ever in darkness and in the cold.
4. Cultivate the Modesty and Delicacy of Your Youth.—The relations and
familiarity of wedded life may seem to tone down the sensitive and retiring
instincts of girlhood, but nothing can compensate for the loss of these.
However, much men may admire the public performance of gifted women,
they do not desire that boldness and dash in a wife. The holy blush of a
maiden's modesty is more powerful in hallowing and governing a home
than the heaviest armament that ever a warrior bore.
5. Cultivate Personal Attractiveness.—This means the storing of your
mind with a knowledge of passing events, and with a good idea of the
world's general advance. If you read nothing, and make no effort to make
yourself attractive, you will soon sink down into a dull hack of stupidity. If
your husband never hears from you any words of wisdom, or of common
information, he will soon hear nothing from you. Dress and gossips soon
wear out. If your memory is weak, so that it hardly seems worth while to
read, that is additional reason for reading.

6. Cultivate Physical Attractiveness.—When you were
encouraging the attentions of him whom you now call
husband, you did not neglect any item of dress or
appearance that could help you. Your hair was always in
perfect training. You never greeted him with a ragged or
untidy dress or soiled hands. It is true that your "market
is made," but you cannot afford to have it "broken."
Cleanliness and good taste will attract now as they did TALKING
BEFORE
formerly. Keep yourself at your best. Make the most of MARRIAGE.
physical endowments. Neatness and order break the
power of poverty.
7. Study Your Husband's Character.—He has his peculiarities. He has no
right to many of them, and you need to know them; thus you can avoid
many hours of friction. The good pilot steers around the sunken rocks that
lie in the channel. The engineer may remove them, not the pilot. You are
more pilot than engineer. Consult his tastes. It is more important to your
home, that you should please him than anybody else.
8. Practice Economy.—Many families are cast out of peace into grumbling
and discord by being compelled to fight against poverty. When there are no
great distresses to be endured or accounted for, complaint and fault-finding
are not so often evoked. Keep your husband free from the annoyance of
disappointed creditors, and he will be more apt to keep free from annoying
you. To toil hard for bread, to fight the wolf from the door, to resist
impatient creditors, to struggle against complaining pride at home, is too
much to ask of one man. A crust that is your own is a feast, while a feast
that is purloined from unwilling creditors is a famine.

How to Be a Good Husband.
1. Show Your Love.—All life manifests itself. As certainly as a live tree
will put forth leaves in the spring, so certainly will a living love show itself.
Many a noble man toils early and late to earn bread and position for his
wife. He hesitates at no weariness for her sake. He justly thinks that such
industry and providence give a better expression of his love than he could
by caressing her and letting the grocery bills go unpaid. He fills the cellar
and pantry. He drives and pushes his business. He never dreams that he is
actually starving his wife to death. He may soon have a woman left to
superintend his home, but his wife is dying. She must be kept alive by the
same process that called her into being. Recall and repeat the little
attentions and delicate compliments that once made you so agreeable, and
that fanned her love into a consuming flame. It is not beneath the dignity of
the skillful physician to study all the little symptoms, and order all the little
round of attentions that check the waste of strength and brace the staggering
constitution. It is good work for a husband to cherish his wife.
2. Consult with Your Wife.—She is apt to be as right as
you are, and frequently able to add much to your stock
of wisdom. In any event she appreciates your attentions.
3. Study to Keep Her Young.—It can be done. It is not TALKING AFTER
work, but worry, that wears. Keep a brave, true heart MARRIAGE.
between her and all harm.
4. Help to Bear Her Burdens.—Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill
the law of love. Love seeks opportunities to do for the loved object. She has
the constant care of your children. She is ordained by the Lord to stand
guard over them. Not a disease can appear in the community without her
taking the alarm. Not a disease can come over the threshold without her
instantly springing into the mortal combat. If there is a deficiency
anywhere, it comes out of her pleasure. Her burdens are everywhere. Look
for them, that you may lighten them.

5. Make Yourself Helpful by Thoughtfulness.—Remember to bring into
the house your best smile and sunshine. It is good for you, and it cheers up
the home. There is hardly a nook in the house that has not been carefully
hunted through to drive out everything that might annoy you. The dinner
which suits, or ought to suit you, has not come on the table of itself. It
represents much thoughtfulness and work. You can do no more manly thing
than find some way of expressing, in word or look, your appreciation of it.
6. Express Your Will, Not by Commands, but by Suggestions.—It is
God's order that you should be the head of the family. You are clothed with
authority. But this does not authorize you to be stern and harsh, as an officer
in the army. Your authority is the dignity of love. When it is not clothed in
love it ceases to have the substance of authority. A simple suggestion that
may embody a wish, an opinion or an argument, becomes one who reigns
over such a kingdom as yours.
7. Seek to Refine Your Nature.—It is no slander to say that many men
have wives much more refined than themselves. This is natural in the
inequalities of life. Other qualities may compensate for any defect here. But
you need have no defect in refinement. Preserve the gentleness and
refinement of your wife as a rich legacy for your children, and in so doing
you will lift yourself to higher levels.
8. Be a Gentleman as well as a Husband.—The signs and bronze and
callouses of toil are no indications that you are not a gentleman. The soul of
gentlemanliness is a kindly feeling toward others, that prompts one to
secure their comfort. That is why the thoughtful peasant lover is always so
gentlemanly, and in his love much above himself.
9. Stay at Home.—Habitual absence during the evenings is sure to bring
sorrow. If your duty or business calls you, you have the promise that you
will be kept in all your ways. But if you go out to mingle with other society,
and leave your wife at home alone, or with the children and servants, know
that there is no good in store for you. She has claims upon you that you can
not afford to allow to go to protest. Reverse the case. You sit down alone
after having waited all day for your wife's return, and think of her as
reveling in gay society, and see if you can keep out all the doubts as to what

takes her away. If your home is not as attractive as you want it, you are a
principal partner. Set yourself about the work of making it attractive.
10. Take Your Wife with You into Society.—Seclusion begets morbidness.
She needs some of the life that comes from contact with society. She must
see how other people appear and act. It often requires an exertion for her to
go out of her home, but it is good for her and for you. She will bring back
more sunshine. It is wise to rest sometimes. When the Arab stops for his
dinner he unpacks his camel. Treat your wife with as much consideration.

Cause of Family Troubles.
1. Much Better to Be Alone.—He who made man said
it is not good for him to be alone; but it is much better to
be alone, than it is to be in some kinds of company.
Many couples who felt unhappy when they were apart,
have been utterly miserable when together; and scores
who have been ready to go through fire and water to get
married, have been willing to run the risk of fire and
brimstone to get divorced. It is by no means certain that
because persons are wretched before marriage they will
be happy after it. The wretchedness of many homes, and TIRED OF LIFE.
the prevalence of immorality and divorce is a sad
commentary on the evils which result from unwise marriages.
2. Unavoidable Evils.—There are plenty of unavoidable evils in this world,
and it is mournful to think of the multitudes who are preparing themselves
for needless disappointments, and who yet have no fear, and are unwilling
to be instructed, cautioned or warned. To them the experience of mature life
is of little account compared with the wisdom of ardent and enthusiastic
youth.
3. Matrimonial Infelicity.—One great cause of matrimonial infelicity is
the hasty marriages of persons who have no adequate knowledge of each
other's characters. Two strangers become acquainted, and are attracted to
each other, and without taking half the trouble to investigate or inquire that
a prudent man would take before buying a saddle horse, they are married. In
a few weeks or months it is perhaps found that one of the parties was
married already, or possibly that the man is drunken or vicious, or the
woman anything but what she should be. Then begins the bitter part of the
experience: shame, disgrace, scandal, separation, sin and divorce, all come
as the natural results of a rash and foolish marriage. A little time spent in
honest, candid, and careful preliminary inquiry and investigation, would
have saved the trouble.

4. The Climax.—It has been said that a man is never utterly ruined until he
has married a bad woman. So the climax of woman's miseries and sorrows
may be said to come only when she is bound with that bond which should
be her chiefest blessing and her highest joy, but which may prove her
deepest sorrow and her bitterest curse.
5. The Folly of Follies.—There are some lessons which people are very
slow to learn, and yet which are based upon the simple principles of
common-sense. A young lady casts her eye upon a young man. She says, "I
mean to have that man." She plies her arts, engages his affections, marries
him, and secures for herself a life of sorrow and disappointment, ending
perhaps in a broken up home or an early grave. Any prudent, intelligent
person of mature age, might have warned or cautioned her; but she sought
no advice, and accepted no admonition. A young man may pursue a similar
course with equally disastrous results.
6. Hap-Hazard.—Many marriages are undoubtedly arranged by what may
be termed the accident of locality. Persons live near each other, become
acquainted, and engage themselves to those whom they never would have
selected as their companions in life if they had wider opportunities of
acquaintance. Within the borders of their limited circle they make a
selection which may be wise or may be unwise. They have no means of
judging, they allow no one else to judge for them. The results are
sometimes happy and sometimes unhappy in the extreme. It is well to act
cautiously in doing what can be done but once. It is not a pleasant
experience for a person to find out a mistake when it is too late to rectify it.
7. We All Change.—When two persons of opposite sex are often thrown
together they are very naturally attracted to each other, and are liable to
imbibe the opinion that they are better fitted for life-long companionship
than any other two persons in the world. This may be the case, or it may not
be. There are a thousand chances against such a conclusion to one in favor
of it. But even if at the present moment these two persons were fitted to be
associated, no one can tell whether the case will be the same five or ten
years hence. Men change; women change; they are not the same they were
ten years ago; they are not the same they will be ten years hence.

8. The Safe Rule.—Do not be in a hurry; take your time, and consider well
before you allow your devotion to rule you. Study first your character, then
study the character of her whom you desire to marry. Love works
mysteriously, and if it will bear careful and cool investigation, it will no
doubt thrive under adversity. When people marry they unite their destinies
for the better or the worse. Marriage is a contract for life and will never
bear a hasty conclusion. Never be in a hurry!

Jealousy—Its Cause and Cure.

Trifles, light as air
Are to the jealous confirmations strong,
As proofs of holy writ.—Shakespeare.

Nor Jealousy
Was understood, the injur'd lover's hell.—Milton.

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.—Shakespeare.

1. Definition.—Jealousy is an accidental passion, for which the faculty
indeed is unborn. In its nobler form and in its nobler motives it arises from
love, and in its lower form it arises from the deepest and darkest Pit of
Satan.
2. How Developed.—Jealousy arises either from weakness, which from a
sense of its own want of lovable qualities is not convinced of being sure of
its cause, or from distrust, which thinks the beloved person capable of
infidelity. Sometimes all these motives may act together.
3. Noblest Jealousy.—The noblest jealousy, if the term noble is
appropriate, is a sort of ambition or pride of the loving person who feels it
is an insult that another one should assume it as possible to supplant his
love, or it is the highest degree of devotion which sees a declaration of its
object in the foreign invasion, as it were, of his own altar. Jealousy is
always a sign that a little more wisdom might adorn the individual without
harm.
4. The Lowest Jealousy.—The lowest species of jealousy is a sort of
avarice of envy which, without being capable of love, at least wishes to
possess the object of its jealousy alone by the one party assuming a sort of

property right over the other. This jealousy, which might be called the
Satanic, is generally to be found with old withered "husbands," whom the
devil has prompted to marry young women and who forthwith dream night
and day of cuck-old's horns. These Argus-eyed keepers are no longer
capable of any feeling that could be called love, they are rather as a rule
heartless house-tyrants, and are in constant dread that some one may admire
or appreciate his unfortunate slave.
5. Want of Love.—The general conclusion will be that jealousy is more the
result of wrong conditions which cause uncongenial unions, and which
through moral corruption, artificially create distrust, than a necessary
accompaniment of love.
6. Result of Poor Opinion.—Jealousy is a passion with
which those are most afflicted who are the least worthy
of love. An innocent maiden who enters marriage will
not dream of getting jealous; but all her innocence
cannot secure her against the jealousy of her husband if
he has been a libertine. Those are wont to be the most
jealous who have the consciousness that they themselves
are most deserving of jealousy. Most men in
consequence of their present education and corruption
SEEKING THE
have so poor an opinion not only of the male, but even of LIFE OF A RIVAL.
the female sex, that they believe every woman at every
moment capable of what they themselves have looked for among all and
have found among the most unfortunate, the prostitutes. No libertine can
believe in the purity of woman; it is contrary to nature. A libertine therefore
cannot believe in the loyalty of a faithful wife.
7. When Justifiable.—There may be occasions where jealousy is
justifiable. If a woman's confidence has been shaken in her husband, or a
husband's confidence has been shaken in his wife by certain signs or
conduct, which have no other meaning but that of infidelity, then there is
just cause for jealousy. There must, however, be certain proof as evidence
of the wife's or husband's immoral conduct. Imaginations or any foolish
absurdities should have no consideration whatever, and let everyone have
confidence until his or her faith has been shaken by the revelation of
absolute facts.

8. Caution and Advice.—No couple should allow their associations to
develop into an engagement and marriage if either one has any inclination
to jealousy. It shows invariably a want of sufficient confidence, and that
want of confidence, instead of being diminished after marriage, is liable to
increase, until by the aid of the imagination and wrong interpretation the
home is made a hell and divorce a necessity. Let it be remembered, there
can be no true love without perfect and absolute confidence. Jealousy is
always the sign of weakness or madness. Avoid a jealous disposition, for it
is an open acknowledgment of a lack of faith.

The Improvement of Offspring.

Why Bring Into the World Idiots, Fools, Criminals and
Lunatics?

1. The Right Way.—When mankind will properly love
and marry and then rightly generate, carry, nurse and
educate their children, will they in deed and in truth
carry out the holy and happy purpose of their Creator.
See those miserable and depraved scape-goats of
humanity, the demented simpletons, the half-crazy,
unbalanced multitudes which infest our earth, and fill
our prisons with criminals and our poor-houses with
paupers. Oh! the boundless capabilities and perfections TheNight Mother's Good
Prayer.
of our God-like nature and, alas! its deformities! All is
the result of the ignorance or indifference of parents. As long as children are
the accidents of lust instead of the premeditated objects of love, so long will
the offspring deteriorate and the world be cursed with deformities,
monstrosities, unhumanities and cranks.
2. Each After Its Kind.—"Like parents like children." "In their own image
beget" they them. In what other can they? "How can a corrupt tree bring
forth good fruit?" How can animal propensities in parents generate other
than depraved children, or moral purity beget beings other than as holy by
nature as those at whose hands they received existence and constitution?
3. As Are the Parents, physically, mentally and morally when they stamp
their own image and likeness upon progeny, so will be the constitution of
that progeny.
4. "Just as the Twig Is Bent the Tree's Inclined."—Yet the bramble
cannot be bent to bear delicious peaches, nor the sycamore to bear grain.
Education is something, but parentage is everything; because it "dyes in the

wool," and thereby exerts an influence on character almost infinitely more
powerful than all other conditions put together.
5. Healthy and Beautiful Children.—Thoughtless mortal! Before you
allow the first goings forth of love, learn what the parental conditions in
you mean, and you will confer a great boon upon the prospective bone of
your bone, and flesh of your flesh! If it is in your power to be the parent of
beautiful, healthy, moral and talented children instead of diseased and
depraved, is it not your imperious duty then, to impart to them that physical
power, moral perfection, and intellectual capability, which shall ennoble
their lives and make them good people and good citizens?
6. Pause and Tremble.—Prospective parents! Will you trifle with the
dearest interests of your children? Will you in matters thus momentous,
head-long rush

"Where angels dare not tread?"

Seeking only mere animal indulgence?—Well might cherubim shrink from
assuming responsibilities thus momentous! Yet, how many parents tread
this holy ground completely unprepared, and almost as thoughtlessly and
ignorantly as brutes—entailing even loathsome diseases and sensual
propensities upon the fruit of their own bodies. Whereas they are bound, by
obligations the most imperious, to bestow on them a good physical
organization, along with a pure, moral, and strong intellectual constitution,
or else not to become parents! Especially since it is easier to generate
human angels than devils incarnate.
7. Hereditary Descent.—This great law of things, "Hereditary Descent,"
fully proves and illustrates in any required number and variety of cases,
showing that progeny inherits the constitutional natures and characters,
mental and physical, of parents, including pre-dispositions to consumption,
insanity, all sorts of disease, etc., as well as longevity, strength, stature,
looks, disposition, talents,—all that is constitutional. From what other
source do or can they come? Indeed, who can doubt a truth as palpable as
that children inherit some, and if some, therefore all, the physical and
mental nature and constitution of parents, thus becoming almost their fac-
similes?

8. Illustrations.—A whaleman was severely hurt by a harpooned and
desperate whale turning upon the small boat, and, by his monstrous jaws,
smashing it to pieces, one of which, striking him in his right side, crippled
him for life. When sufficiently recovered, he married, according to previous
engagement, and his daughter, born in due time, and closely resembling him
in looks, constitution and character, has a weak and sore place
corresponding in location with that of the injury of her father. Tubercles
have been found in the lungs of infants at birth, born of consumptive
parents,—a proof, clear and demonstrative, that children inherit the several
states of parental physiology existing at the time they received their
physiological constitution. The same is true of the transmission of those
diseases consequent on the violation of the law of chastity, and the same
conclusion established thereby.
9. Parent's Participation.—Each parent furnishing an indispensable
portion of the materials of life, and somehow or other, contributes
parentally to the formation of the constitutional character of their joint
product, appears far more reasonable, than to ascribe, as many do, the
whole to either, some to paternity, others to maternity. Still this decision go
which way it may, does not affect the great fact that children inherit both
the physiology and the mentality existing in parents at the time they
received being and constitution.
10. Illegitimates or Bastards also furnish strong proof of the correctness of
this our leading doctrine. They are generally lively, sprightly, witty,
frolicsome, knowing, quick of perception, apt to learn, full of passion,
quick-tempered, impulsive throughout, hasty, indiscreet, given to excesses,
yet abound in good feeling, and are well calculated to enjoy life, though in
general sadly deficient in some essential moral elements.
11. Character of Illegitimates.—Wherein, then, consists this difference?
First, in "novelty lending an enchantment" rarely experienced in sated
wedlock, as well as in power of passion sufficient to break through all
restraint, external and internal; and hence their high wrought organization.
They are usually wary and on the alert, and their parents drank "stolen
waters." They are commonly wanting in moral balance, or else delinquent
in some important moral aspect; nor would they have ever been born unless
this had been the case, for the time being at least, with their parents. Behold

in these, and many other respects easily cited, how striking the coincidence
between their characters on the one hand, and, on the other, those parental
conditions necessarily attendant on their origin.
12. Children's Condition depends upon parents' condition at the time of
the sexual embrace. Let parents recall, as nearly as may be their
circumstances and states of body and mind at this period, and place them by
the side of the physical and mental constitutions of their children, and then
say whether this law is not a great practical truth, and if so, its importance is
as the happiness and misery it is capable of affecting! The application of
this mighty engine of good or evil to mankind, to the promotion of human
advancement, is the great question which should profoundly interest all
parents.
13. The Vital Period.—The physical condition of parents at the vital period
of transmission of life should be a perfect condition of health in both body
and mind, and a rigorous condition of all the animal organs and functions.
14. Muscular Preparation.—Especially should parents cultivate their
muscular system preparatory to the perfection of this function, and of their
children; because, to impart strength and stamina to offspring they must of
necessity both possess a good muscular organization, and also bring it into
vigorous requisition at this period. For this reason, if for no other, let those
of sedentary habits cultivate muscular energy preparatory to this time of
need.
15. The Seed.—So exceedingly delicate are the seeds of life, that, unless
planted in a place of perfect security, they must all be destroyed, and our
race itself extinguished. And what place is as secure as that chosen, where
they can be reached only with the utmost difficulty, and than only at the
peril of even life itself? Imperfect seed sown in poor ground means a sickly
harvest.
16. Healthy People—Most Children.—The most healthy classes have the
most numerous families; but that, as luxury enervates society, it diminishes
the population, by enfeebling parents, nature preferring none rather than
those too weakly to live and be happy, and thereby rendering that union
unfruitful which is too feeble to produce offspring sufficiently strong to

enjoy life. Debility and disease often cause barrenness. Nature seems to
rebel against sickly offspring.
17. Why Children Die.—Inquire whether one or both the parents of those
numerous children that die around us, have not weak lungs, or a debilitated
stomach, or a diseased liver, or feeble muscles, or else use them but little, or
disordered nerves, or some other debility or form of disease. The prevalence
of summer complaints, colic, cholera infantum, and other affections of these
vital organs of children is truly alarming, sweeping them into their graves
by the million. Shall other animals rear nearly all their young, and shall
man, constitutionally by far the strongest of them all, lose half or more of
his? Is this the order of nature? No, but their death-worm is born in and
with them, and by parental agency.
18. Grave-Yard Statistics.—Take grave-yard statistics in August, and then
say, whether most of the deaths of children are not caused by indigestion, or
feebleness of the bowels, liver, etc., or complaints growing out of them?
Rather, take family statistics from broken-hearted parents! And yet, in
general, those very parents who thus suffer more than words can tell, were
the first and main transgressors, because they entailed those dyspeptic,
heart, and other kindred affections so common among American parents
upon their own children, and thereby almost as bad as killed them by
inches; thus depriving them of the joys of life, and themselves of their
greatest earthly treasure!
19. All Children May Die.—Children may indeed die whose parents are
healthy, but they almost must whose parents are essentially ailing in one or
more of their vital organs; because, since they inherit this organ debilitated
or diseased, any additional cause of sickness attacks this part first, and
when it gives out, all go by the board together.
20. Parents Must Learn and Obey.—How infinitely more virtuous and
happy would your children be if you should be healthy in body, and happy
in mind, so as to beget in them a constitutionally healthy and vigorous
physiology, along with a serene and happy frame of mind! Words are utterly
powerless in answer, and so is everything but a lifetime of consequent
happiness or misery! Learn and obey, then, the laws of life and health, that
you may both reap the rich reward yourself, and also shower down upon

your children after you, blessings many and most exalted. Avoid excesses of
all kinds, be temperate, take good care of the body and avoid exposures and
disease, and your children will be models of health and beauty.
21. The Right Condition.—The great practical inference is, that those
parents who desire intellectual and moral children, must love each other;
because, this love, besides perpetually calling forth and cultivating their
higher faculties, awakens them to the highest pitch of exalted action in that
climax, concentration, and consummation of love which propagates their
existing qualities, the mental endowment of offspring being proportionate to
the purity and intensity of parental love.
22. The Effects.—The children of affectionate parents receive existence
and constitution when love has rendered the mentality of their parents both
more elevated and more active than it is by nature, of course the children of
loving parents are both more intellectual and moral by nature than their
parents. Now, if these children and their companions also love one another,
this same law which renders the second generation better than the first, will
of course render the third still better than the second, and thus of all
succeeding generations.
23. Animal Impulse.—You may preach and pray till doomsday—may send
out missionaries, may circulate tracts and Bibles, and multiply revivals and
all the means of grace, with little avail; because, as long as mankind go on,
as now, to propagate by animal impulse, so long must their offspring be
animal, sensual, devilish! But only induce parents cordially to love each
other, and you thereby render their children constitutionally talented and
virtuous. Oh! parents, by as much as you prefer the luxuries of concord to
the torments of discord, and children that are sweet dispositioned and
highly intellectual to those that are rough, wrathful, and depraved, be
entreated to "love one another."

Too Many Children.
1. Lessening Pauperism.—Many of the agencies for
lessening pauperism are afraid of tracing back its growth
to the frequency of births under wretched conditions.
One begins to question whether after all sweet charity or
dignified philanthropy has not acted with an unwise
reticence. Among the problems which defy practical
handling this is the most complicated. The pauperism
which arises from marriage is the result of the worst
elements of character legalized. In America, where the JUST HOME
FROM SCHOOL.
boundaries of wedlock are practically boundless, it is not
desirable, even were it possible, that the state should
regulate marriage much further than it now does; therefore must the
sociologist turn for aid to society in his struggle with pauperism.
2. Right Physical and Spiritual Conditions of Birth.—Society should
insist upon the right spiritual and physical conditions for birth. It should be
considered more than "a pity" when another child is born into a home too
poor to receive it. The underlying selfishness of such an event should be
recognized, for it brings motherhood under wrong conditions of health and
money. Instead of each birth being the result of mature consideration and
hallowed love, children are too often born as animals are born. To be sure
the child has a father whom he can call by name. Better that there had never
been a child.
3. Wrong Results.—No one hesitates to declare that it is want of self-
respect and morality which brings wrong results outside of marriage, but it
is also the want of them which begets evil inside the marriage relation.
Though there is nothing more difficult than to find the equilibrium between
self-respect and self-sacrifice, yet on success in finding it depends
individual and national preservation. The fact of being wife and mother or
husband and father should imply dignity and joyousness, no matter how
humble the home.

4. Difference of Opinion amongst Physicians.—In regard to teaching, the
difficulties are great. As soon as one advances beyond the simplest subjects
of hygiene, one is met with the difference of opinions among physicians.
When each one has a different way of making a mustard plaster, no wonder
that each has his own notions about everything else. One doctor
recommends frequent births, another advises against them.
5. Different Natures.—If physiological facts are taught to a large class,
there are sure to be some in it whose impressionable natures are excited by
too much plain speaking, while there are others who need the most open
teaching in order to gain any benefit. Talks to a few persons generally are
wiser than popular lectures. Especially are talks needed by mothers and
unmothered girls who come from everywhere to the city.
6. Boys and Young Men.—It is not women alone who require the shelter of
organizations and instruction, but boys and young men. There is no double
standard of morality, though the methods of advocating it depend upon the
sex which is to be instructed. Men are more concerned with the practical
basis of morality than with its sentiment, and with the pecuniary aspects of
domestic life than with its physical and mental suffering. We all may need
medicine for moral ills, yet the very intangibleness of purity makes us slow
to formulate rules for its growth. Under the guidance of the wise in spirit
and knowledge, much can be done to create a higher standard of marriage
and to proportion the number of births according to the health and income
of parents.
7. For the Sake of the State.—If the home exists primarily for the sake of
the individual, it exists secondarily for the sake of the state. Therefore, any
home into which are continually born the inefficient children of inefficient
parents, not only is a discomfort in itself, but it also furnishes members for
the armies of the unemployed, which are tinkering and hindering legislation
and demanding by the brute force of numbers that the state shall support
them.
8. Opinions From High Authorities.—In the statements and arguments
made in the above we have not relied upon our own opinions and
convictions, but have consulted the best authorities, and we hereby quote
some of the highest authorities upon this subject.

9. Rev. Leonard Dawson.—"How rapidly conjugal prudence might lift a
nation out of pauperism was seen in France.—Let them therefore hold the
maxim that the production of offspring with forethought and providence is
rational nature. It was immoral to bring children into the world whom they
could not reasonably hope to feed, clothe and educate."
10. Mrs. Fawcett.—"Nothing will permanently offset pauperism while the
present reckless increase of population continues."
11. Dr. George Napheys.—"Having too many children unquestionably has
its disastrous effects on both mother and children as known to every
intelligent physician. Two-thirds of all cases of womb disease, says Dr. Tilt,
are traceable to child-bearing in feeble women. There are also women to
whom pregnancy is a nine months' torture, and others to whom it is nearly
certain to prove fatal. Such a condition cannot be discovered before
marriage—The detestable crime of abortion is appallingly rife in our day. It
is abroad in our land to an extent which would have shocked the dissolute
women of pagan Rome—This wholesale, fashionable murder, how are we
to stop it? Hundreds of vile men and women in our large cities subsist by
this slaughter of the innocent."
12. Rev. H. R. Haweis.—"Until it is thought a disgrace in every rank of
society, from top to bottom of social scale, to bring into the world more
children than you are able to provide for, the poor man's home, at least,
must often be a purgatory—his children dinnerless, his wife a beggar—
himself too often drunk—here, then, are the real remedies: first, control the
family growth according to the family means of support."
13. Montague Cookson.—"The limitation of the number of the family—is
as much the duty of married persons as the observance of chastity is the
duty of those that are unmarried."
14. John Stuart Mill.—"Every one has aright to live. We will suppose this
granted. But no one has a right to bring children into life to be supported by
other people. Whoever means to stand upon the first of these rights must
renounce all pretension to the last. Little improvement can be expected in
morality until the production of a large family is regarded in the same light
as drunkenness or any other physical excess."

15. Dr. T. D. Nicholls.—"In the present social state, men and women
should refrain from having children unless they see a reasonable prospect of
giving them suitable nurture and education."
16. Rev. M. J. Savage.—"Some means ought to be provided for checking
the birth of sickly children."
17. Dr. Stockham.—"Thoughtful minds must acknowledge the great wrong
done when children are begotten under adverse conditions. Women must
learn the laws of life so as to protect themselves, and not be the means of
bringing sin-cursed, diseased children into the world. The remedy is in the
prevention of pregnancy, not in producing abortion."

Small Families and the Improvement of the Race.
1. Married People Must Decide for Themselves.—It is the fashion of
those who marry nowadays to have few children, often none. Of course this
is a matter which married people must decide for themselves. As is stated in
an earlier chapter, sometimes this policy is the wisest that can be pursued.
2. Diseased People.—Diseased people who are likely to
beget only a sickly offspring, may follow this course,
and so may thieves, rascals, vagabonds, insane and
drunken persons, and all those who are likely to bring
into the world beings that ought not to be here. But why
so many well-to-do folks should pursue a policy adapted
only to paupers and criminals, is not easy to explain.
Why marry at all if not to found a family that shall live
to bless and make glad the earth after father and mother
are gone? It is not wise to rear too many children, nor is
it wise to have too few. Properly brought up, they will make home a delight
and parents happy.
3. Population Limited.—Galton, in his great work on hereditary genius,
observes that "the time may hereafter arrive in far distant years, when the
population of this earth shall be kept as strictly within bounds of number
and suitability of race, as the sheep of a well-ordered moor, or the plants in
an orchard-house; in the meantime, let us do what we can to encourage the
multiplication of the races best fitted to invent and conform to a high and
generous civilization."
4. Shall Sickly People Raise Children?—The question whether sickly
people should marry and propagate their kind, is briefly alluded to in an
early chapter of this work. Where father and mother are both consumptive
the chances are that the children will inherit physical weakness, which will
result in the same disease, unless great pains are taken to give them a good
physical education, and even then the probabilities are that they will find
life a burden hardly worth living.

5. No Real Blessing.—Where one parent is consumptive and the other
vigorous, the chances are just half as great. If there is a scrofulous or
consumptive taint in the blood, beware! Sickly children are no comfort to
their parents, no real blessing. If such people marry, they had better, in most
cases, avoid parentage.
6. Welfare of Mankind.—The advancement of the welfare of mankind is a
most intricate problem: all ought to refrain from marriage who cannot avoid
abject poverty for their children; for poverty is not only a great evil, but
tends to its own increase by leading to recklessness in marriage. On the
other hand, as Mr. Galton has remarked, if the prudent avoid marriage,
while the reckless marry, the inferior members will tend to supplant the
better members of society.
7. Preventives.—Remember that the thousands of preventives which are
advertised in papers, private circulars, etc., are not only inefficient,
unreliable and worthless, but positively dangerous, and the annual mortality
of females in this country from this cause alone is truly horrifying. Study
nature, and nature's laws alone will guide you safely in the path of health
and happiness.
8. Nature's Remedy.—Nature in her wise economy has prepared for
overproduction, for during the period of pregnancy and nursing, and also
most of the last half of each menstrual month, woman is naturally sterile;
but this condition may become irregular and uncertain on account of
stimulating drinks or immoral excesses.

The Generative Organs.
THE MALE GENERATIVE ORGANS AND
THEIR STRUCTURE AND ADAPTATION.

1. The reproductive organs in man are the penis and
testicles and their appendages.
2. The penis deposits the seminal life germ of the male.
It is designed to fulfill the seed planting mission of human life.
3. In the accompanying illustration all the parts are named.
4. Urethra.—The urethra performs the important mission of emptying the
bladder, and is rendered very much larger by the passion, and the semen is
propelled along through it by little layers of muscles on each side meeting
above and below. It is this canal that is inflamed by the disease known as
gonorrhœa.
5. Prostrate Gland.—The prostrate gland is located just before the bladder.
It swells in men who have previously overtaxed it, thus preventing all
sexual intercourse, and becomes very troublesome to void urine. This is a
very common trouble in old age.
6. The Penal Gland.—The penal gland, located at the end of the penis,
becomes unduly enlarged by excessive action and has the consistency of
India rubber. It is always enlarged by erection. It is this gland at the end that
draws the semen forward. It is one of the most essential and wonderful
constructed glands of the human body.
7. Female Magnetism.—When the male organ comes in contact with
female magnetism, the natural and proper excitement takes place. When
excited without this female magnetism it becomes one of the most serious
injuries to the human body. The male organ was made for a high and holy
purpose, and woe be to him who pollutes his manhood by practicing the

secret vice. He pays the penalty in after years either by the entire loss of
sexual power, or by the afflictions of various urinary diseases.
8. Nature Pays all her debts, and when there is an abuse of organ, penalties
must follow. If the hand is thrust into the fire it will be burnt.

THE FEMALE SEXUAL ORGANS.

ANATOMY OR
STRUCTURE OF
THE FEMALE
ORGANS OF
GENERATION.

1. The generative or reproductive organs of the human female are usually
divided into the internal and external. Those regarded as internal are
concealed from view and protected within the body. Those that can be
readily perceived are termed external. The entrance of the vagina may be
stated as the line of demarcation of the two divisions.
2. Hymen or Vaginal Valve.—This is a thin membrane
of half moon shape stretched across the opening of the
vagina. It usually contains before marriage one or more
small openings for the passage of the menses. This
membrane has been known to cause much distress in
many females at the first menstrual flow. The trouble
resulting from the openings in the hymen not being large Impregnated Egg.
enough to let the flow through and consequently In the first
blocking up the vaginal canal, and filling the entire formation of
Embryo.
internal sexual organs with blood; causing paroxysms
and hysterics and other alarming symptoms. In such

cases the hymen must be ruptured that a proper discharge may take place at
once.
3. Unyielding Hymen.—The hymen is usually ruptured by the first sexual
intercourse, but sometimes it is so unyielding as to require the aid of a knife
before coition can take place.
4. The presence of the Hymen was formerly considered a test of virginity,
but this theory is no longer held by competent authorities, as disease or
accidents or other circumstances may cause its rupture.
5. The Ovaries.—The ovaries are little glands for the purpose of forming
the female ova or egg. They are not fully developed until the period of
puberty, and usually are about the size of a large chestnut. The are located
in the broad ligaments between the uterus and the Fallopian tubes. During
pregnancy the ovaries change position; they are brought farther into the
abdominal cavity as the uterus expands.
6. Office of the Ovary.—The ovary is to the female what the testicle is to
the male. It is the germ vitalizing organ and the most essential part of the
generative apparatus. The ovary is not only an organ for the formation of
the ova, but is also designed for their separation when they reach maturity.
7. Fallopian Tubes.—These are the ducts that lead from the ovaries to the
uterus. They are entirely detached from the glands or ovaries, and are
developed on both sides of the body.
8. Office of the Fallopian Tubes.—The Fallopian tubes have a double
office: receiving the ova from the ovaries and conducting it into the uterus,
as well as receiving the spermatic fluid of the male and conveying it from
the uterus in the direction of the ovaries, the tubes being the seat of
impregnation.

OVUM.

9. Sterility In Females.—Sterility in the female is sometimes caused by a
morbid adhesion of the tube to a portion of the ovary. By what power the
mouth of the tube is directed toward a particular portion of an ovary from
which the ovum is about to be discharged, remains entirely unknown, as
does also the precise nature of the cause which effects this movement.

THE MYSTERIES OF THE FORMATION OF
LIFE.
1. Scientific Theories.—Darwin, Huxley, Haeckel,
Tyndall, Meyer, and other renowned scientists, have
tried to find the missing link between man and animal;
they have also exhausted their genius in trying to fathom
the mysteries of the beginning of life, or find where the
animal and mineral kingdoms unite to form life; but they
Ripe Ovum from
have added to the vast accumulation of theories only, and the Ovary.
the world is but little wiser on this mysterious subject.
2. Physiology.—Physiology has demonstrated what physiological changes
take place in the germination and formation of life, and how nature
expresses the intentions of reproduction by giving animals distinctive
organs with certain secretions for this purpose, etc. All the different stages
of development can be easily determined, but how and why life takes place
under such special condition and under no other, is an unsolved mystery.
3. Ovaries.—The ovaries are the essential parts of the generative system of
the human female in which ova are matured. There are two ovaries, one on
each side of the uterus, and connected with it by the Fallopian tubes. They
are egg-shaped, about an inch in diameter, and furnish the germs or ovules.
These germs or ovules are very small, measuring about 1/120 of an inch in
diameter.
4. Development.—The ovaries develop with the growth of the female, so
that finally at the period of puberty they ripen and liberate an ovum or germ
vesicle, which is carried into the uterine cavity of the Fallopian tubes. By
the aid of the microscope we find that these ova are composed of granular
substance, in which is found a miniature yolk surrounded by a transparent
membrane called the zona pellucida. This yolk contains a germinal vesicle
in which can be discovered a nucleus, called the germinal spot. The process
of the growth of the ovaries is very gradual, and their function of ripening

and discharging one ovum monthly into the Fallopian tubes and uterus, is
not completed until between the twelfth and fifteenth years.
5. What Science Knows.—After the sexual embrace we know that the
sperm is lifted within the genital passages or portion of the vagina and
mouth of the uterus. The time between the deposit of the semen and
fecundation varies according to circumstances. If the sperm-cell travels to
the ovarium it generally takes from three to five days to make the journey.
As Dr. Pierce says: "The transportation is aided by the ciliary processes
(little hairs) of the mucous surface of the vaginal and uterine walls, as well
as by its own vibratile movements. The action of the cilia, under the
stimulus of the sperm, seems to be from without, inward. Even if a minute
particle of sperm, less than a drop, be left upon the margin of the external
genitals of the female, it is sufficient in amount to impregnate, and can be
carried, by help of these cilia, to the ovaries."
6. Conception.—After intercourse at the proper time the liability to
conception is very great. If the organs are in a healthy condition, conception
must necessarily follow, and no amount of prudence and the most rigid
precautions often fail to prevent pregnancy.
7. Only One Absolutely Safe Method.—There is only one absolutely safe
method to prevent conception, entirely free from danger and injury to
health, and one that is in the reach of all; that is to refrain from union
altogether.

PREVENTION OF CONCEPTION.
1. The question is always asked, "Can Conception be
prevented at all times?" Certainly, this is possible; but
such an interference with nature's laws is inadmissible,
and perhaps never to be justified in any case whatever,
except in cases of deformity or disease.
2. If the parties of a marriage are both feeble and so
THE PATIENT
adapted to each other that their children are deformed, MOTHER.
insane or idiots, then to beget offspring would be a
flagrant wrong; if the mother's health is in such a condition as to forbid the
right of laying the burden of motherhood upon her, then medical aid may
safely come to her relief. If the man, however, respects his wife, he ought to
come to her relief without the counsel of a physician.
3. Forbearance.—Often before the mother has recovered from the effects
of bearing, nursing and rearing one child, ere she has regained proper tone
and vigor of body and mind, she is unexpectedly overtaken, surprised by
the manifestation of symptoms which again indicate pregnancy. Children
thus begotten cannot become hardy and long-lived. By the love that parents
may feel for their posterity, by the wishes for their success, by the hopes for
their usefulness, by every consideration for their future well-being, let them
exercise precaution and forbearance until the wife becomes sufficiently
healthy and enduring to bequeath her own rugged, vital stamina to the child
she bears in love.
4. Impostors.—During the past few years hundreds of books and
pamphlets have been written on the subject, claiming that new remedies had
been discovered for the prevention of conception, etc., but these are all
money making devices to deceive the public, and enrich the pockets of
miserable and unprincipled impostors.
5. The Follies of Prevention.—Dr. Pancoast, an eminent authority, says:
"The truth is, there is no medicine taken internally capable of preventing
conception, and the person who asserts to the contrary, not only speaks

falsely, but is both a knave and a fool. It is true enough that remedies may
be taken to produce abortion after conception occurs; but those who
prescribe and those who resort to such desperate expedients, can only be
placed in the category of lunatics and assassins!"
6. Patent Medicines.—If nature does not promptly respond, there are many
patent medicines which when taken at the time the monthly flow is to
begin, will produce the desired result. Let women beware; for it is only a
question of a few years when their constitution, complexion, and health will
be a sorry evidence of their folly. The woman who continually takes a drug
to prevent conception, cannot retain her natural complexion; her eyes will
become dull, her cheeks flabby, and she will show various evidences of
poor health, and her sexual organs will soon become permanently impaired
and hopelessly diseased.
7. Foolish Dread of Children.—What is more deplorable and pitiable than
an old couple childless. Young people dislike the care and confinement of
children and prefer society and social entertainments and thereby do great
injustice and injury to their health and fit themselves in later years to visit
infirmities and diseases upon their children. The vigilant and rigid measures
which have to be resorted to in order to prevent conception for a period of
years unfits many a wife for the production of healthy children.
8. Having Children under proper circumstances never ruins the health and
happiness of any woman. In fact, womanhood is incomplete without them.
She may have a dozen or more, and still have better health than before
marriage. It is having them too close together, and when she is not in a fit
state, that her health gives way. Sometimes the mother is diseased; the
outlet from the womb, as a result of laceration by a previous child-birth, is
frequently enlarged, thus allowing conception to take place very readily,
and hence she has children in rapid succession.
Besides the wrong to the mother in having children in such rapid
succession, it is a great injustice to the babe in the womb and the one at the
breast that they should follow each other so quickly that one is conceived
while the other is nursing. One takes the vitality of the other; neither has
sufficient nourishment, and both are started in life stunted and incomplete.

9. "The Desirability and Practicability of limiting offspring," says Dr.
Stockham, "are the subject of frequent inquiry. Fewer and better children
are desired by right-minded parents. Many men and women, wise in other
things of the world, permit generation as a chance result of copulation,
without thought of physical or mental conditions to be transmitted to the
child. Coition, the one important act of all others, carrying with it the most
vital results, is usually committed for selfish gratification. Many a drunkard
owes his life-long appetite for alcohol to the fact that the inception of his
life could be traced to a night of dissipation on the part of his father.
Physical degeneracy and mental derangements are too often caused by the
parents producing offspring while laboring under great mental strain or
bodily fatigue. Drunkenness and licentiousness are frequently the heritage
of posterity. Future generations demand that such results be averted by
better pre-natal influences. The world is groaning under the curse of chance
parenthood. It is due to posterity that procreation be brought under the
control of reason and conscience.
10. "It Has Been Feared that a Knowledge of means to prevent
conception would, if generally diffused, be abused by women; that they
would to so great an extent escape motherhood as to bring about social
disaster. This fear is not well founded. The maternal instinct is inherent and
sovereign in woman. Even the pre-natal influences of a murderous intent on
the part of parents scarcely ever eradicate it. With this natural desire for
children, we believe few women would abuse the knowledge or privilege of
controlling conception. Although women shrink from forced maternity, and
from the bearing of children under the great burden of suffering, as well as
other adverse conditions, it is rare to find a woman who is not greatly
disappointed if she does not, some time in her life, wear the crown of
motherhood.
"An eminent lady teacher, in talking to her pupils, once said: 'The greatest
calamity that can befall a woman is never to have a child. The next greatest
calamity is to have one only.' From my professional experience I am happy
to testify that more women seek to overcome causes of sterility than to
obtain knowledge of limiting the size of the family or means to destroy the
embryo. Also, if consultation for the latter is sought, it is usually at the
instigation of the husband. Believing in the rights of unborn children, and in
the maternal instinct, I am consequently convinced that no knowledge

should be withheld that will secure proper conditions for the best
parenthood.
11. "Many of the Means Used to Prevent conception are injurious, and
often lay the foundation for a train of physical ailments. Probably no one
means is more serious in its results than the practice of withdrawal, or the
discharge of the semen externally to the vagina. The act is incomplete and
unnatural, and is followed by results similar to and as disastrous as those
consequent upon masturbation. In the male it may result in impotence, in
the female in sterility. In both sexes many nervous symptoms are produced,
such as headache, defective vision, dyspepsia, insomnia, loss of memory,
etc. Very many cases of uterine diseases can be attributed solely to this
practice. The objection to the use of the syringe is that if the sperm has
passed into the uterus the fluid cannot reach it. A cold fluid may, in some
instances, produce contractions to throw it off, but cannot be relied upon."
12. Is It Ever Right to Prevent Conception? We submit the following
case of the Juke family, mostly of New York State, as related by R. L.
Dugdale, when a member of the Prison Association, and let the reader judge
for himself:
"It was traced out by painstaking research that from one woman called
Margaret, who, like Topsy, merely 'growed' without pedigree as a pauper in
a village on the upper Hudson, about eighty-five years ago, there descended
673 children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, of whom 200 were
criminals of the dangerous class, 280 adult paupers, and fifty prostitutes,
while 300 children of her lineage died prematurely. The last fact proves to
what extent in this family nature was kind to the rest of humanity in saving
it from a still larger aggregation of undesirable and costly members, for it is
estimated that the expense to the State of the descendants of Maggie was
over a million dollars, and the State itself did something also towards
preventing a greater expense by the restrain exercised upon the criminals,
paupers, and idiots of the family during a considerable portion of their
lives."
13. The Legal Aspect.—By the Revised Statutes of the United States it is
provided "that no obscene, * * * or lascivious book, picture, or any article
or thing designed or intended for the prevention of conception or producing

of abortion shall be carried in the mail, and any person who shall knowingly
deposit or cause to be deposited for mailing or delivery any of the
hereinbefore mentioned things shall be guilty of misdemeanor," etc. In New
Jersey, Oregon, South Carolina, Texas and District of Columbia we find no
local law against abortion. Nine states, viz.: New Hampshire, Connecticut,
New York, Indiana, Wisconsin, Dakotas, Wyoming and California punish
the woman upon whom the abortion is attempted; while Massachusetts,
New York, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, Nebraska, Kansas and California
punish the advertising or furnishing of means for the prevention of
conception; and Ohio makes it a crime to even have such means in one's
possession. There is exception made in favor of every case where the early
birth of the infant is necessary to save the life of the mother. It will be
noticed that the common law punishes the furnishing or advertising of
means for the prevention of conception, and hence regards it as a crime.
There is, however, no ban of the civil law on Nature's law as laid down by
Nature's God and discovered by medical science, which we here make
known.
14. Is Nature's Method Reliable?—Dr. Cowan says: "Sexual excitement
hastens the premature ripening and meeting of the germ cell with the sperm
cell, and impregnation may result, although intercourse occurs only in the
specified two weeks' absence of the egg from the uterus."
This is just possible under certain peculiar circumstances of diseased
conditions, or after long separation of husband and wife. However, it
seldom happens, and married people in normal health, temperate in the
sexual relation, desirous of controlling the size of their family, can usually
depend upon this law.
15. Moderation.—Continence, self-control, a willingness to deny himself
—that is what is required from the husband. But a thousand voices reach us
from suffering women in all parts of the land that this will not suffice; that
men refuse thus to restrain themselves; that it leads to a loss of domestic
happiness and to illegal amour, or it is injurious physically and morally;
that, in short, such advice is useless because impracticable.
16. Nature's Method.—To such we reply that Nature herself has provided,
to some extent, against over-production, and that it is well to avail ourselves

of her provision. It is well known that women, when nursing, rarely become
pregnant, and for this reason, if for no other, women should nurse their own
children, and continue the period until the child is at least nine months or a
year old. However, the nursing, if continued too long, weakens both the
mother and the child, and, moreover, ceases to accomplish the end for
which we now recommend it.
17. Another Provision of Nature.—For a certain period between her
monthly illness, every woman is sterile. Conception may be avoided by
refraining from coition except for this particular number of days, and there
will be no evasion of natural intercourse, no resort to disgusting practices,
and nothing degrading. The following facts have been established, without a
doubt: The Graafian Vesicle, containing the egg in the ovary, enlarges
during menstruation and bursts open to let the egg escape usually on the
first day after the flow ceases, and seldom, if ever, later than the fourth day.
It then takes from two to six days for the egg to pass down through the
Fallopian tube into the womb, where it remains from two to six days, when,
if not impregnated, it passes down through the vagina from the body. After
the egg has passed from the body, conception is not possible until after the
next menstrual flow.
The period, therefore, from after the sixteenth to within three days of the
following menstrual discharge is one of almost absolute safety. We say
within three days of the next menstruation, because the male seminal fluid
may be retained there till the egg leaves the ovary, and in that way
impregnation might follow. Impregnation would, however, rarely occur if
the period was extended to from the twelfth day after menstruation close up
to one day before it began again.
The above is the only physiological method (and it is no secret to a great
many people) by which conception can be limited, without the employment
of such means as involve danger and serious evils.
18. Warning.—Let women be warned in the most emphatic manner against
the employment of the secret methods constantly advertised by quacks.
Such means are the almost certain cause of painful uterine diseases and of
shortened life. They are productive of more misery by far than over-
production itself.

[1]New Revelation for
Women.

VAGINAL CLEANLINESS.
1. The above Syringe has a patent tube known as the vaginal cleanser. This
keeps the sides of the vagina apart and permits the water to thoroughly
clean and cleanse the organ. It will be found a great relief in both health and
sickness, and in many cases cure barrenness and other diseases of the
womb. It can be used the same as any other syringe. The tube can be
procured at almost any drug store and applied to either bulb or fountain
syringe. Many women are barren on account of an acid secretion in the
vagina. The cleanser is almost a certain remedy and cure.
2. Cleanliness.—Cleanliness is next to godliness. Without cleanliness the
human body is more or less defiled and repulsive. A hint to the wise is
sufficient. The vagina should be cleansed with the same faithfulness as any
other portion of the body.
3. Temperature of the Water.—Those not accustomed to use vaginal
injections would do well to use water milk-warm at the commencement;
after this the temperature may be varied according to circumstances. In case
of local inflammation use hot water. The indiscriminate use of cold water
injections will be found rather injurious than beneficial, and a woman in
feeble health will always find warm water invigorating and preferable.
4. Leucorrhœa.—In case of persistent leucorrhœa use the temperature of
water from seventy-two to eighty-five degrees Fahrenheit.
5. The Cleanser will greatly stimulate the health and spirits of any woman
who uses it. Pure water injections have a stimulating effect, and it seems to
invigorate the entire body.
6. Salt and Water Injections.—This will cure mild cases of leucorrhœa.
Add a teaspoonful of salt to a pint and a half of water at the proper
temperature. Injections may be repeated daily if deemed necessary.
7. Soap and Water.—Soap and water is a very simple domestic remedy,
and will many times afford relief in many diseases of the womb. It seems it

thoroughly cleanses the parts. A little borax or vinegar may be used the
same as salt water injections. (See No. 6.)
8. Sterile Women desiring offspring should seek sexual union soon after
the appearance of the menses, and not use the vaginal cleanser till several
days later. Those not desiring offspring should avoid copulation until the
ovum has passed the generative tract.
9. Holes in the Tubes.—Most of the holes in the tubes of syringes are too
small. See that they are sufficiently large to produce thorough cleansing.
10. Injections During the Monthly Flow.—Of course it is not proper to
arrest the flow, and the injections will stimulate a healthy action of the
organs. The injections may be used daily throughout the monthly flow with
much comfort and benefit. If the flow is scanty and painful the injections
may be as warm as they can be comfortably borne. If the flowing is
immoderate, then cool water may be used. A woman will soon learn her
own condition and can act accordingly.
11. Bloom and Grace of Youth.—The regular bathing of the body will
greatly improve woman's beauty. Remember that a perfect complexion
depends upon the healthy action of all the organs. Vaginal injections are just
as important as the bath. A beautiful woman must not only be cleanly, but
robust and healthy. There can be no perfect beauty without good health.

IMPOTENCE AND STERILITY.
1. Actual impotence during the period of manhood is a
very rare complaint, and nature very unwillingly, and
only after the absolute neglect of sanitary laws, gives up
the power of reproduction.
2. Not only sensual women, but all without exception,
feel deeply hurt, and are repelled by the husband whom Trying On a New
they may previously have loved dearly, when, after Dress.
entering the married state, they find that he is impotent.
The more inexperienced and innocent they were at the time of marriage, the
longer it often is before they find that something is lacking in the husband;
but, once knowing this, the wife infallibly has a feeling of contempt and
aversion for him; though there are many happy families where this defect
exists. It is often very uncertain who is the weak one, and no cause for
separation should be sought.
3. Unhappy marriages, barrenness, divorces, and perchance an occasional
suicide, may be prevented by the experienced physician, who can generally
give correct information, comfort, and consolation, when consulted on these
delicate matters.
4. When a single man fears that he is unable to fulfill the duties of marriage,
he should not marry until his fear is dispelled. The suspicion of such a fear
strongly tends to bring about the very weakness which he dreads. Go to a
good physician (not to one of those quacks whose advertisements you see in
the papers; they are invariably unreliable), and state the case fully and
freely.
5. Diseases, malformation, etc., may cause impotence. In case of
malformation there is usually no remedy, but in case of disease it is usually
within the reach of a skillful physician.
6. Self-abuse and spermatorrhœa produce usually only temporary
impotence and can generally be relieved by carrying out the instructions

given elsewhere in this book.
7. Excessive indulgences often enfeeble the powers and often result in
impotence. Dissipated single men, professional libertines, and married men
who are immoderate, often pay the penalty of their violations of the laws of
nature, by losing their vital power. In such cases of excess there may be
some temporary relief, but as age advances the effects of such indiscretion
will become more and more manifest.
8. The condition of sterility in man may arise either from a condition of the
secretion which deprives it of its fecundating powers or it may spring from
a malformation which prevents it reaching the point where fecundation
takes place. The former condition is most common in old age, and is a
sequence of venereal disease, or from a change in the structure or functions
of the glands. The latter has its origin in a stricture, or in an injury, or in that
condition technically known as hypospadias, or in debility.
9. It can be safely said that neither self-indulgence nor spermatorrhœa often
leads to permanent sterility.
10. It is sometimes, however, possible, even where there is sterility in the
male, providing the secretion is not entirely devoid of life properties on part
of the husband, to have children, but these are exceptions.
11. No man need hesitate about matrimony on account of sterility, unless
that condition arises from a permanent and absolute degeneration of his
functions.
12. Impotence from mental and moral causes often takes place. Persons of
highly nervous organization may suffer incapacity in their sexual organs.
The remedy for these difficulties is rest and change of occupation.
13. Remedies in case of Impotence on account of former Private
Diseases, or Masturbation, or other causes.—First build up the body by
taking some good stimulating tonics. The general health is the most
essential feature to be considered, in order to secure restoration of the
sexual powers. Constipation must be carefully avoided. If the kidneys do
not work in good order, some remedy for their restoration must be taken.
Take plenty of out-door exercise, avoid horseback riding or heavy
exhaustive work.

14. Food and Drinks which Weaken Desire.—All kinds of food which
cause dyspepsia or bring on constipation, diarrhœa, or irritate the bowels,
alcoholic beverages, or any indigestible compound, has the tendency to
weaken the sexual power. Drunkards and tipplers suffer early loss of
vitality. Beer drinking has a tendency to irritate the stomach and to that
extent affects the private organs.
15. Coffee.—Coffee drank excessively causes a debilitating effect upon the
sexual organs. The moderate use of coffee can be recommended, yet an
excessive habit of drinking very strong coffee will sometimes wholly
destroy vitality.
16. Tobacco.—It is a hygienic and physiological fact that tobacco produces
sexual debility and those who suffer any weakness from that source should
carefully avoid the weed in all its forms.
17. Drugs which Stimulate Desire.—There are certain medicines which
act locally on the membranes and organs of the male, and the papers are full
of advertisements of "Lost Manhood Restored", etc., but in every case they
are worthless or dangerous drugs and certain to lead to some painful malady
or death. All these patent medicines should be carefully avoided. People
who are troubled with any of these ailments should not attempt to doctor
themselves by taking drugs, but a competent physician should be consulted.
Eating rye, corn, or graham bread, oatmeal, cracked wheat, plenty of fruit,
etc. is a splendid medicine. If that is not sufficient, then a physician should
be consulted.
18. Drugs which Moderate Desire.—Among one of the most common
domestic remedies is camphor. This has stood the test for ages. Small doses
of half a grain in most instances diminishes the sensibility of the organs of
sex. In some cases it produces irritation of the bladder. In that case it should
be at once discontinued. On the whole a physician had better be consulted.
The safest drug among domestic remedies is a strong tea made out of hops.
Saltpeter, or nitrate of potash, taken in moderate quantities, are very good
remedies.
19. Strictly Speaking there is a distinction made between impotence and
sterility. Impotence is a loss of power to engage in the sexual act and is
common to men. It may be imperfection in the male organ or a lack of

sufficient sexual vigor to produce and maintain erection. Sterility is a total
loss of capacity in the reproduction of the species, and is common to
women.
There are, however, very few causes of barrenness that cannot be removed
when the patient is perfectly developed. Sterility, in a female, most
frequently depends upon a weakness or irritability either in the ovaries or
the womb, and anything having a strengthening effect upon either organ
will remove the disability. (See page 249.)
20. "Over-Indulgence in intercourse," says Dr. Hoff, "is sometimes the
cause of barrenness; this is usually puzzling to the interested parties,
inasmuch as the practices which, in their opinion, should be the source of a
numerous progeny, have the very opposite effect. By greatly moderating
their ardor, this defect may be remedied."
21. "Napoleon and Josephine.—A certain adaptation between the male
and female has been regarded as necessary to conception, consisting of
some mysterious influence which one sex exerts over the other, neither one,
however, being essentially impotent or sterile. The man may impregnate
one woman and not another, and the woman will conceive by one man and
not by another. In the marriage of Napoleon Bonaparte and Josephine no
children were born, but after he had separated from the Empress and
wedded Maria Louisa of Austria, an heir soon came. Yet Josephine had
children by Beauharnais, her previous husband. But as all is not known as
to the physical condition of Josephine during her second marriage, it cannot
be assumed that mere lack of adaptability was the cause of unfruitfulness
between them. There may have been some cause that history has not
recorded, or unknown to the state of medical science of those days. There
are doubtless many cases of apparently causeless unfruitfulness in marriage
that even physicians, with a knowledge of all apparent conditions in the
parties, cannot explain; but when, as elsewhere related in this volume,
impregnation by artificial means is successfully practised, it is useless to
attribute barrenness to purely psychological and adaptative influences."

Producing Boys or Girls at Will.
1. Can the Sexes be Produced at Will?—This question has been asked in
all ages of the world. Many theories have been advanced, but science has at
last replied with some authority. The following are the best known
authorities which this age of science has produced.
2. The Agricultural Theory.—The agricultural theory, as it may be called,
because adopted by farmers, is that impregnation occurring within four days
of the close of the female monthlies produces a girl, because the ovum is
yet immature; but that when it occurs after the fourth day from its close,
gives a boy, because this egg is now mature; whereas after about the eighth
day this egg dissolves and passes off, so that impregnation is thereby
rendered impossible, till just before the mother's next monthly.—Sexual
Science.
3. Queen Bees Lay Female Eggs First, and male afterwards. So with hens;
the first eggs laid after the tread give females, the last males. Mares shown
the stallion late in their periods drop horse colts rather than fillies.—
Napheys.
4. If You Wish Females, give the male at the first sign of heat; if males, at
its end.—Prof. Thury.
5. On Twenty-two Successive Occasions I desired to have heifers, and
succeeded in every case. I have made in all twenty-nine experiments, after
this method, and succeeded in every one, in producing the sex I desired.—A
Swiss Breeder.
6. This Thury Plan has been tried on the farms of the Emperor of the
French with unvarying success.
7. Conception in the First Half of the time between the menstrual periods
produces females, and males is the latter.—London Lancet.
8. Intercourse in from two to six days after cessation of the menses
produces girls, in from nine to twelve, boys.—Medical Reporter.

9. The Most Male Power and passion creates boys; female girls. This law
probably causes those agricultural facts just cited thus: Conception right
after menstruation give girls, because the female is then the most
impassioned; later, boys, because her wanting sexual warmth leaves him the
most vigorous. Mere sexual excitement, a wild, fierce, furious rush of
passion, is not only not sexual vigor, but in its inverse ratio; and a genuine
insane fervor caused by weakness; just as a like nervous excitability
indicates weak nerves instead of strong. Sexual power is deliberate, not
wild; cool, not impetuous; while all false excitement diminishes
effectiveness.—Fowler.

ABORTION OR MISCARRIAGE.
1. Abortion or Miscarriage is the expulsion of the child
from the womb previous to six months; after that it is
called premature birth.
2. Causes.—It may be due to a criminal act of taking
medicine for the express purpose of producing
miscarriage or it may be caused by certain medicines,
severe sickness or nervousness, syphilis, imperfect
semen, lack of room in the pelvis and abdomen, lifting, HEALTHY
CHILDREN.
straining, violent cold, sudden mental excitement,
excessive sexual intercourse, dancing, tight lacing, the
use of strong purgative medicines, bodily fatigue, late suppers, and
fashionable amusements.
3. Symptoms.—A falling or weakness and uneasiness in the region of the
loins, thighs and womb, pain in the small of the back, vomiting and
sickness of the stomach, chilliness with a discharge of blood accompanied
with pain in the lower portions of the abdomen. These may take place in a
single hour, or it may continue for several days. If before the fourth month,
there is not so much danger, but the flow of blood is generally greater. If
miscarriage is the result of an accident, it generally takes place without
much warning, and the service of a physician should at once be secured.
4. Home Treatment.—A simple application of cold water externally
applied will produce relief, or cold cloths of ice, if convenient, applied to
the lower portions of the abdomen. Perfect quiet, however, is the most
essential thing for the patient. She should lie on her back and take internally
a teaspoonful of paregoric every two hours; drink freely of lemonade or
other cooling drinks, and for nourishment subsist chiefly on chicken broth,
toast, water gruel, fresh fruits, etc. The principal homeopathic remedies for
this disease are ergot and cimicifuga, given in drop-doses of the tinctures.
5. Injurious Effects.—Miscarriage is a very serious difficulty, and the
health and the constitution may be permanently impaired. Any one prone to

miscarriage should adopt every measure possible to strengthen and build up
the system; avoid going up stairs or doing much heavy lifting or hard work.
6. Prevention.—Practice the laws of sexual abstinence, take frequent sitz-
baths, live on oatmeal, graham bread, and other nourishing diet. Avoid
highly seasoned food, rich gravies, late suppers and the like.

The Murder of the Innocents.
1. Many Causes.—Many causes have operated to
produce a corruption of the public morals so deplorable;
prominent among which may be mentioned the facility
with which divorces may be obtained in some of the
States, the constant promulgation of false ideas of
marriage and its duties by means of books, lectures, etc.,
AN INDIAN
and the distribution through the mails of impure FAMILY. The
publications. But an influence not less powerful than any Savage Indian
of these is the growing devotion of fashion and luxury of Teaches Us Lessons
of Civilization.
this age, and the idea which practically obtains to so
great an extent that pleasure, instead of the health or
morals, is the great object of life.
2. A Monstrous Crime.—The abiding interest we feel in the preservation
of the morals of our country, constrains us to raise our voice against the
daily increasing practice of infanticide, especially before birth. The
notoriety this monstrous crime has obtained of late, and the hecatombs of
infants that are annually sacrificed to Moloch, to gratify an unlawful
passion, are a sufficient justification for our alluding to a painful and
delicate subject, which should "not even be named," only to correct and
admonish the wrong-doers.
3. Localities in Which It Is Most Prevalent.—We may observe that the
crying sin of infanticide is most prevalent in those localities where the
system of moral education has been longest neglected. This inhuman crime
might be compared to the murder of the innocents, except that the
criminals, in this case, exceed in enormity the cruelty of Herod.
4. Shedding Innocent Blood.—If it is a sin to take away the life even of an
enemy; if the crime of shedding innocent blood cries to heaven for
vengeance; in what language can we characterize the double guilt of those
whose souls are stained with the innocent blood of their own unborn,
unregenerated offspring?

5. The Greatness of the Crime.—The murder of an infant before its birth,
is, in the sight of God and the law, as great a crime as the killing of a child
after birth.
6. Legal Responsibility.—Every State of the Union has made this offense
one of the most serious crimes. The law has no mercy for the offenders that
violate the sacred law of human life. It is murder of the most cowardly
character and woe to him who brings this curse upon his head, to haunt him
all the days of his or her life, and to curse him at the day of his death.
7. The Product of Lust.—Lust pure and simple. The only difference
between a marriage of this character and prostitution is, that society, rotten
to its heart, pulpits afraid to cry aloud against crime and vice, and the
church conformed to the world, have made such a profanation of marriage
respectable. To put it in other words, when two people determine to live
together as husband and wife, and evade the consequences and
responsibilities of marriage, they are simply engaged in prostitution without
the infamy which attaches to that vice and crime.
8. Outrageous Violation of All Law.—The violation of all law, both
natural and revealed, is the cool and villainous contract by which people
entering into the marital relation engage in defiance of the laws of God and
the laws of the commonwealth, that they shall be unincumbered with a
family of children. "Disguise the matter as you will," says Dr. Pomeroy,
"yet the fact remains that the first and specific object of marriage is the
rearing of a family." "Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth," is
God's first word to Adam after his creation.
9. The National Sin.—The prevention of offspring is preeminently the sin
of America. It is fast becoming the national sin of America, and if it is not
checked, it will sooner or later be an irremediable calamity. The sin has its
roots in a low and perverted idea of marriage, and is fostered by false
standards of modesty.
10. The Sin of Herod.—Do these same white-walled sepulchres of hell
know that they are committing the damning sin of Herod in the slaughter of
the innocents, and are accessories before the fact to the crime of murder?
Do women in all circles of society, when practicing these terrible crimes
realize the real danger? Do they understand that it is undermining their

health, and their constitution, and that their destiny, if persisted in, is a
premature grave just as sure as the sun rises in the heavens? Let all beware,
and let the first and only purpose be, to live a life guiltless before God and
man.
11. The Crime of Abortion.—From the moment of conception a new life
commences; a new individual exists; another child is added to the family.
The mother who deliberately sets about to destroy this life, either by want
of care, or by taking drugs, or using instruments, commits as great a crime,
and is just as guilty as if she strangled her new-born infant or as if she
snatched from her own breast her six months' darling and dashed out its
brains against the wall. Its blood is upon her head, and as sure as there is a
God and a judgment, that blood will be required of her. The crime she
commits is murder, child murder—the slaughter of a speechless, helpless
being, whom it is her duty, beyond all things else, to cherish and preserve.
12. Dangerous Diseases.—We appeal to all such with earnest and with
threatening words. If they have no feeling for the fruit of their womb, if
maternal sentiment is so callous in their breasts, let them know that such
produced abortions are the constant cause of violent and dangerous womb
diseases, and frequently of early death; that they bring on mental weakness,
and often insanity; that they are the most certain means to destroy domestic
happiness which can be adopted. Better, far better, to bear a child every year
for twenty years than to resort to such a wicked and injurious step; better to
die, if need be, in the pangs of child-birth, than to live with such a weight of
sin on the conscience.

The Unwelcome Child.[2]
1. Too Often the Husband thinks only of his personal gratification; he
insists upon what he calls his rights (?); forces on his wife an unwelcome
child, and thereby often alienates her affections, if he does not drive her to
abortion.
Dr Stockham reports the following case: "A woman once consulted me who
was the mother of five children, all born within ten years. These were puny,
scrofulous, nervous and irritable. She herself was a fit subject for doctors
and drugs. Every organ in her body seemed diseased, and every function
perverted. She was dragging out a miserable existence. Like other
physicians, I had prescribed in vain for her many maladies. One day she
chanced to inquire how she could safely prevent conception. This led me to
ask how great was the danger. She said: 'Unless my husband is absent from
home, few nights have been exempt since we were married, except it may
be three or four immediately after confinement.'
"'And yet your husband loves you?'
"'O, yes, he is kind and provides for his family. Perhaps I might love him
but for this. While now—(will God forgive me?)—I detest, I loathe him,
and if I knew how to support myself and children, I would leave him.'
"'Can you talk with him upon this subject?'
"'I think I can.'
"' Then there is hope, for many women cannot do that. Tell him I will give
you treatment to improve your health, and if he will wait until you can
respond, take time for the act, have it entirely mutual from first to last, the
demand will not come so frequent.'
"'Do you think so?'
"'The experience of many proves the truth of this statement.'

"Hopefully she went home, and in six months I had the satisfaction of
knowing my patient was restored to health, and a single coition in a month
gave the husband more satisfaction than the many had done previously, that
the creative power was under control, and that my lady could proudly say 'I
love,' where previously she said 'I hate.'
"If husbands will listen, a few simple instructions will appeal to their
common sense, and none can imagine the gain to themselves, to their wives
and children, and their children's children. Then it may not be said of the
babes that the 'Death borders on their birth, and their cradle stands in the
grave.'"
2. Wives! Be Frank and True to your husbands on the subject of
maternity, and the relation that leads to it. Interchange thoughts and feelings
with them as to what nature allows or demands in regard to these. Can
maternity be natural when it is undesigned by the father or undesired by the
mother? Can a maternity be natural, healthful, ennobling to the mother, to
the child, to the father, and to the home, when no loving, tender, anxious
forethought presides over the relation in which it originated?—when the
mother's nature loathed and repelled it, and the father's only thought was his
own selfish gratification; the feelings and conditions of the mother, and the
health, character and destiny of the child that may result being ignored by
him. Wives! let there be a perfect and loving understanding between you
and your husbands on these matters, and great will be your reward.
3. A Woman Writes:—"There are few, very few, wives and mothers who
could not reveal a sad, dark picture in their own experience in their relations
to their husbands and their children. Maternity, and the relation in which it
originates, are thrust upon them by their husbands, often without regard to
their spiritual or physical conditions, and often in contempt of their earnest
and urgent entreaties. No joy comes to their heart at the conception and
birth of their children, except that which arises from the consciousness that
they have survived the sufferings wantonly and selfishly inflicted upon
them."
4. Husband, When Maternity is imposed on your wife without her
consent, and contrary to her appeal, how will her mind necessarily be
affected towards her child? It was conceived in dread and in bitterness of

spirit. Every stage of its fœtal development is watched with feeling of
settled repugnance. In every step of its ante-natal progress the child meets
only with grief and indignation in the mother. She would crush out its life,
if she could. She loathed its conception; she loathed it in every stage of its
ante-natal development. Instead of fixing her mind on devising ways and
means for the healthful and happy organization and development of her
child before it is born, and for its postnatal comfort and support, her soul
may be intent on its destruction, and her thoughts devise plans to kill it. In
this, how often is she aided by others! There are those, and they are called
men and women, whose profession is to devise ways to kill children before
they are born. Those who do this would not hesitate (but for the
consequences) to kill them after they are born, for the state of mind that
would justify and instigate ante-natal child-murder would justify and
instigate post-natal child-murder. Yet, public sentiment consigns the
murderer of post-natal children to the dungeon or the gallows, while the
murderers of ante-natal children are often allowed to pass in society as
honest and honorable men and women.
5. The Following is an Extract from a letter written by one who has
proudly and nobly filled the station of a wife and mother, and whose
children and grandchildren surround her and crown her life with tenderest
love and respect:
"It has often been a matter of wonder to me that men should, so heedlessly,
and so injuriously to themselves, their wives and children, and their homes,
demand at once, as soon as they get legal possession of their wives, the
gratification of a passion, which, when indulged merely for the sake of the
gratification of the moment, must end in the destruction of all that is
beautiful, noble and divine in man or woman. I have often felt that I would
give the world for a friendship with man that should show no impurity in its
bearing, and for a conjugal relation that would, at all times, heartily and
practically recognize the right of the wife to decide for herself when she
should enter into the relation that leads to maternity."
6. Timely Advice.—Here let me say that on no subject should a man and
woman, as they are being attracted into conjugal relations, be more open
and truthful with each other than on this. No woman, who would save
herself and the man she loves from a desecrated and wretched home, should

enter into the physical relations of marriage with a man until she
understands what he expects of her as to the function of maternity, and the
relation that leads to it. If a woman is made aware that the man who would
win her as a wife regards her and the marriage relation only as the means of
a legalized gratification of his passions, and she sees fit to live with him as
a wife, with such a prospect before her, she must take the consequences of a
course so degrading and so shameless. If she sees fit to make an offering of
her body and soul on the altar of her husband's sensuality, she must do it;
but she has a right to know to what base uses her womanhood is to be put,
and it is due to her, as well as to himself, that he should tell beforehand
precisely what he wants and expects of her.
Too frequently, man shrinks from all allusion, during courtship, to his
expectations in regard to future passional relations. He fears to speak of
them, lest he should shock and repel the woman he would win as a wife.
Being conscious, it may be, of an intention to use power he may acquire
over her person for his own gratification, he shuns all interchange of views
with her, lest she should divine the hidden sensualism of his soul, and his
intention to victimize her person to it the moment he shall get the license. A
woman had better die at once than enter into or continue in marriage with a
man whose highest conception of the relation is, that it is a means of
licensed animal indulgence. In such a relation, body and soul are sacrificed.
7. One Distinctive Characteristic of a true and noble husband is a feeling
of manly pride in the physical elements of his manhood. His physical
manhood, as well as his soul, is dear to the heart of his wife, because
through this he can give the fullest expression of his manly power. How can
you, my friend, secure for your person the loving care and respect of your
wife? There is but one way: so manifest yourself to her, in the hours of your
most endearing intimacies, that all your manly power shall be associated
only with all that is generous, just and noble in you, and with purity,
freedom and happiness in her. Make her feel that all which constitutes you a
man, and qualifies you to be her husband and the father of her children,
belongs to her, and is sacredly consecrated to the perfection and happiness
of her nature. Do this, and the happiness of your home is made complete.
Your body will be lovingly and reverently cared for, because the wife of
your bosom feels that it is the sacred symbol through which a noble, manly
love is ever speaking to her, to cheer and sustain her.

8. Woman is Ever Proud, and justly so, of the manly passion of her
husband, when she knows it is controlled by a love for her, whose
manifestations have regard only to her elevation and happiness. The power
which, when bent only on selfish indulgence, becomes a source of more
shame, degradation, disease and wretchedness, to women and to children
than all other things put together, does but ennoble her, add grace and glory
to her being, and concentrate and vitalize the love that encircles her as a
wife when it is controlled by wisdom and consecrated to her highest growth
and happiness, and that of her children. It lends enchantment to her person,
and gives a fascination to her smiles, her words and her caresses, which
ever breathe of purity and of heaven, and make her all lovely as a wife and
mother to her husband and the father of her child. Manly passion is to the
conjugal love of the wife like the sun to the rose-bud, that opens its petals,
and causes them to give out their sweetest fragrance and to display their
most delicate tints; or like the frost, which chills and kills it ere it blossoms
in its richness and beauty.
9. A Diadem of Beauty.—Maternity, when it exists at the call of the wife,
and is gratefully received, but binds her heart more tenderly and devotedly
to her husband. As the father of her child, he stands before her invested with
new beauty and dignity. In receiving from him the germ of a new life, she
receives that which she feels is to add new beauty and glory to her as a
woman—a new grace and attraction to her as a wife. She loves and honors
him, because he has crowned her with the glory of a mother. Maternity, to
her, instead of being repulsive, is a diadem of beauty, a crown of rejoicing;
and deep, tender, and self-forgetting are her love and reverence for him who
has placed it on her brow. How noble, how august, how beautiful is
maternity when thus bestowed and received!
10. Conclusion.—Would you, then, secure the love and trust of your wife,
and become an object of her ever-growing tenderness and reverence?
Assure her, by all your manifestations, and your perfect respect for the
functions of her nature, that your passion shall be in subjection of her
wishes. It is not enough that you have secured in her heart respect for your
spiritual and intellectual manhood. To maintain your self-respect in your
relations with her, to perfect your growth and happiness as a husband, you
must cause your physical nature to be tenderly cherished and reverenced by
her in all the sacred intimacies of home. No matter how much she

reverences your intellectual or your social power, if by reason of your
uncalled-for passional manifestations you have made your physical
manhood disagreeable, how can you, in her presence, preserve a sense of
manly pride and dignity as a husband?

Heredity and the Transmission of Diseases.
1. Bad Habits.—It is known that the girl who marries
the man with bad habits, is, in a measure, responsible for
the evil tendencies which these habits have created in the
children; and young people are constantly warned of the
danger in marrying when they know they come from
families troubled with chronic diseases or insanity. To be
sure the warnings have had little effect thus far in
preventing such marriages, and it is doubtful whether HEALTH AND
they will, unless the prophecy of an extremist writing for DISEASE.
one of our periodicals comes to pass—that the time is
not far distant when such marriages will be a crime punishable by law.
2. Tendency in the Right Direction.—That there is a tendency in the right
direction must be admitted, and is perhaps most clearly shown in some of
the articles on prison reform. Many of them strongly urge the necessity of
preventive work as the truest economy, and some go so far as to say that if
the present human knowledge of the laws of heredity were acted upon for a
generation, reformatory measures would be rendered unnecessary.
3. Serious Consequences.—The mother who has ruined her health by late
hours, highly-spiced food, and general carelessness in regard to hygienic
laws, and the father who is the slave of questionable habits, will be very
sure to have children either mentally or morally inferior to what they might
otherwise have had a right to expect. But the prenatal influences may be
such that evils arising from such may be modified to a great degree.
4. Formation of Character.—I believe that pre-natal influences may do as
much in the formation of character as all the education that can come after,
and that the mother may, in a measure, "will" what that influence shall be,
and that, as knowledge on the subject increases, it will be more and more
under their control. In that, as in everything else, things that would be
possible with one mother would not be with another, and measures that

would be successful with one would produce opposite results from the
other.
5. Inheriting Disease. Consumption—that dread foe of modern life—is the
most frequently encountered of all affections as the result of inherited
predispositions. Indeed, some of the most eminent physicians have believed
it is never produced in any other way. Heart disease, disease of the throat,
excessive obesity, affections of the skin, asthma, disorders of the brain and
nervous system, gout, rheumatism and cancer, are all hereditary. A tendency
to bleed frequently, profusely and uncontrollably, from trifling wounds, is
often met with as a family affection.
6. Mental Derangements.—Almost all forms of mental derangements are
hereditary—one of the parents or near relation being afflicted. Physical or
bodily weakness is often hereditary, such as scrofula, gout, rheumatism,
rickets, consumption, apoplexy, hernia, urinary calculi, hemorrhoids or
piles, cataract, etc. In fact, all physical weakness, if ingrafted in either
parent, is transmitted from parents to offspring, and is often more strongly
marked in the latter than in the former.
7. Marks and Deformities.—Marks and deformities are all transmissible
from parents to offspring, equally with diseases and peculiar proclivities.
Among such blemishes may be mentioned moles, hair-lips, deficient or
supernumerary fingers, toes, and other characteristics. It is also asserted that
dogs and cats that have accidentally lost their tails, bring forth young
similarly deformed. Blumenbach tells of a man who had lost his little
finger, having children with the same deformity.
8. Caution.—Taking facts like these into consideration, how very important
is it for persons, before selecting partners for life, to deliberately weigh
every element and circumstances of this nature, if they would insure a
felicitous union, and not entail upon their posterity disease, misery and
despair. Alas! in too many instances matrimony is made a matter of money,
while all earthly joys are sacrificed upon the accursed altars of lust and
mammon.

Preparation for Maternity.
1. Woman Before Marriage.—It is not too much to say that the life of
women before marriage ought to be adjusted with more reference to their
duties as mothers than to any other one earthly object. It is the continuance
of the race which is the chief purpose of marriage. The passion of
amativeness is probably, on the whole, the most powerful of all human
impulses. Its purpose, however, is rather to subserve the object of
continuing the species, than merely its own gratification.
2. Exercise.—Girls should be brought up to live much in the open air,
always with abundant clothing against wet and cold. They should be
encouraged to take much active exercise; as much, if they want to, as boys.
It is as good for little girls to run and jump, to ramble in the woods, to go
boating, to ride and drive, to play and "have fun" generally, as for little
boys.
3. Preserve the Sight.—Children should be carefully prevented from using
their eyes to read or write, or in any equivalent exertion, either before
breakfast, by dim daylight, or by artificial light. Even school studies should
be such that they can be dealt with by daylight. Lessons that cannot be
learned without lamp-light study are almost certainly excessive. This
precaution should ordinarily be maintained until the age of puberty is
reached.
4. Bathing.—Bathing should be enforced according to constitutions, not by
an invariable rule, except the invariable rule of keeping clean. Not
necessarily every day, nor necessarily in cold water; though those
conditions are doubtless often right in case of abundant physical health and
strength.
5. Wrong Habits.—The habit of daily natural evacuations should be
solicitously formed and maintained. Words or figures could never express
the discomforts and wretchedness which wrong habits in this particular
have locked down upon innumerable women for years and even for life.

6. Dress.—Dress should be warm, loose, comely, and modest rather than
showy; but it should be good enough to satisfy a child's desires after a good
appearance, if they are reasonable. Children, indeed, should have all their
reasonable desires granted as far as possible; for nothing makes them
reasonable so rapidly and so surely as to treat them reasonably.
7. Tight Lacing.—Great harm is often done to maidens for want of
knowledge in them, or wisdom and care in their parents. The extremes of
fashions are very prone to violate not only taste, but physiology. Such cases
are tight lacing, low necked dresses, thin shoes, heavy skirts. And yet, if the
ladies only knew, the most attractive costumes are not the extremes of
fashion, but those which conform to fashion enough to avoid oddity, which
preserve decorum and healthfulness, whether or no; and here is the great
secret of successful dress—vary fashion so as to suit the style of the
individual.
8. Courtship and Marriage.—Last of all, parental care in the use of
whatever influence can be exerted in the matter of courtship and marriage.
Maidens, as well as youths, must, after all, choose for themselves. It is their
own lives which they take in their hands as they enter the marriage state,
and not their parents'; and as the consequences affect them primarily it is
the plainest justice that with the responsibility should be joined the right of
choice. The parental influence, then, must be indirect and advisory. Indirect,
through the whole bringing up of their daughter; for if they have trained her
aright, she will be incapable of enduring a fool, still more a knave.
9. A Young Woman and a Young Man Had Better Not Be Alone
Together Very Much until They Are Married.—This will be found to
prevent a good many troubles. It is not meant to imply that either sex, or
any member of it, is worse than another, or bad at all, or anything but
human. It is simply the prescription of a safe general rule. It is no more an
imputation than the rule that people had better not be left without oversight
in presence of large sums of other folks' money. The close personal
proximity of the sexes is greatly undesirable before marriage. Kisses and
caresses are most properly the monopoly of wives. Such indulgences have a
direct and powerful physiological effect. Nay, they often lead to the most
fatal results.

10. Ignorance before Marriage.—At some time before marriage those
who are to enter into it ought to be made acquainted with some of the
plainest common-sense limitations which should govern their new relations
to each other. Ignorance in such matters has caused an infinite amount of
disgust, pain, and unhappiness. It is not necessary to specify particulars
here: see other portions of this work.

Impregnation.
1. Conception or Impregnation.—Conception or
impregnation takes place by the union of the male sperm
and female sperm. Whether this is accomplished in the
ovaries, the oviducts or the uterus, is still a question of
discussion and investigation by physiologists.
2. Passing Off The Ovum.—"With many woman," says
Dr. Stockham in her Tokology, "the ovum passes off
within twenty-four or forty-eight hours after A HEALTHY
menstruation begins. Some, by careful observation, are MOTHER.
able to know with certainty when this takes place. It is
often accompanied with malaise, nervousness, headache or actual uterine
pain. A minute substance like the white of an egg; with a fleck of blood in
it, can frequently be seen upon the clothing. Ladies who have noticed this
phenomenon testify to its recurring very regularly upon the same day after
menstruation. Some delicate women have observed it as late as the
fourteenth day."
3. Calculations.—Conception is more liable to take place either
immediately before or immediately after the period, and, on that account it
is usual when calculating the date at which to expect labor, to count from
the day of disappearance of the last period. The easiest way to make a
calculation is to count back three months from the date of the last period
and add seven days; thus we might say that the date was the 18th of July;
counting back brings us to the 18th of April, and adding the seven days will
bring us to the 25th day of April, the expected time.
4. Evidence of Conception.—Very many medical authorities, distinguished
in this line, have stated their belief that women never pass more than two or
three days at the most beyond the forty weeks conceded to pregnancy—that
is two hundred and eighty days or ten lunar months, or nine calendar
months and a week. About two hundred and eighty days will represent the
average duration of pregnancy, counting from the last day of the last period.

Now it must be borne in mind, that there are many disturbing elements
which might cause the young married woman to miss a time. During the
first month of pregnancy there is no sign by which the condition may be
positively known. The missing of a period, especially in a person who has
been regular for some time, may lead one to suspect it; but there are many
attendant causes in married life, the little annoyances of household duties,
embarrassments, and the enforced gayety which naturally surrounds the
bride, and these should all be taken into consideration in the discussion as
to whether or not she is pregnant. But then, again, there are some rare cases
who have menstruated throughout their pregnancy; and also cases where
menstruation was never established and pregnancy occurred. Nevertheless,
the non-appearance of the period, with other signs, may be taken as
presumptive evidence.
5. "Artificial Impregnation.—It may not be generally known that union is
not essential to impregnation; it is possible for conception to occur without
congress. All that is necessary is that seminal animalcules enter the womb
and unite there with the egg or ovum. It is not essential that the semen be
introduced through the medium of the male organ, as it has been
demonstrated repeatedly that by means of a syringe and freshly obtained
and healthy semen, impregnation can be made to follow by its careful
introduction. There are physicians in France who make a specialty of
"Artificial Impregnation," as it is called, and produce children to otherwise
childless couples, being successful in many instances in supplying them as
they are desired."

Signs and Symptoms of Pregnancy.
1. The First Sign.—The first sign that leads a lady to suspect that she is
pregnant is her ceasing-to-be-unwell. This, provided she has just before
been in good health, is a strong symptom of pregnancy; but still there must
be others to corroborate it.
2. Abnormal Condition.—Occasionally, women menstruate during the
entire time of gestation. This, without doubt, is an abnormal condition, and
should be remedied, as disastrous consequences may result. Also, women
have been known to bear children who have never menstruated. The cases
are rare of pregnancy taking place where menstruation has never occurred,
yet it frequently happens that women never menstruate from one pregnancy
to another. In these cases this symptom is ruled out for diagnotic purposes.
3. May Proceed from Other Causes.—But a ceasing-to-be-unwell may
proceed from other causes than that of pregnancy, such as disease or
disorder of the womb or of other organs of the body—especially of the
lungs—it is not by itself alone entirely to be depended upon; although, as a
single sign, it is, especially if the patient be healthy, one of the most reliable
of all the other signs of pregnancy.
4. Morning Sickness.—If this does not arise from a disordered stomach, it
is a trustworthy sign of pregnancy. A lady who has once had morning-
sickness can always for the future distinguish it from each and from every
other sickness; it is a peculiar sickness, which no other sickness can
simulate. Moreover, it is emphatically a morning-sickness—the patient
being, as a rule, for the rest of the day entirely free from sickness or from
the feeling of sickness.

5. A Third Symptom.—A third symptom is shooting,
throbbing and lancinating pains in, and enlargement of
the breasts, with soreness of the nipples, occurring about
the second month. In some instances, after the first few
months, a small quantity of watery fluid or a little milk,
may be squeezed out of them. This latter symptom, in a
Embryo of Twenty
first pregnancy, is valuable, and can generally be relied Days, Laid Open.
on as fairly conclusive of pregnancy. Milk in the breast, b, the Back: a a
however small it may be in quantity, especially in a first a, Covering, and
pinned to Back.
pregnancy, is a reliable sign, indeed, we might say, a
certain sign, of pregnancy.
6. A Dark Brown Areola or Mark around the nipple is one of the
distinguishing signs of pregnancy—more especially of a first pregnancy.
Women who have had large families, seldom, even when they are not
pregnant, lose this mark entirely; but when they are pregnant it is more
intensely dark—the darkest brown—especially if they be brunettes.
7. Quickening.—Quickening is one of the most important signs of
pregnancy, and one of the most valuable, as at the moment it occurs, as a
rule, the motion of the child is first felt, whilst, at the same time, there is a
sudden increase in the size of the abdomen. Quickening is a proof that
nearly half the time of pregnancy has passed. If there be a liability to
miscarry, quickening makes matters more safe, as there is less likelihood of
a miscarriage after than before it. A lady at this time frequently feels faint or
actually faints away; she is often giddy, or sick, or nervous, and in some
instances even hysterically; although, in rare cases, some women do not
even know the precise time when they quicken.
8. Increased Size and Hardness of the Abdomen.—This is very
characteristic of pregnancy. When a lady is not pregnant the abdomen is
soft and flaccid; when she is pregnant, and after she has quickened, the
abdomen; over the region of the womb, is hard and resisting.
9. Excitability of Mind.—Excitability of mind is very common in
pregnancy, more especially if the patient be delicate; indeed, excitability is
a sign of debility, and requires plenty of good nourishment, but few
stimulants.

10. Eruptions on the Skin.—Principally on the face,
neck, or throat, are tell-tales of pregnancy, and to an
experienced matron, publish the fact that an
acquaintance thus marked is pregnant.
11. The Fœtal Heart.—In the fifth month there is a sign Embryo at Thirty
which, if detected, furnishes indubitable evidence of Days. a, the Head;
b, the Eyes; d, the
conception, and that is the sound of the child's heart. If Neck; e, the Chest;
the ear be placed on the abdomen, over the womb, the f, the Abdomen.
beating of the fœtal heart can sometimes be heard quite
plainly, and by the use of an instrument called the stethoscope, the sounds
can be still more plainly heard. This is a very valuable sign, inasmuch as the
presence of the child is not only ascertained, but also its position, and
whether there are twins or more.

OUR KING.

Diseases of Pregnancy.
1. Costive State of the Bowels.—A costive state of the bowels is common
in pregnancy; a mild laxative is therefore occasionally necessary. The
mildest must be selected, as a strong purgative is highly improper, and even
dangerous. Calomel and all other preparations of mercury are to be
especially avoided, as a mercurial medicine is apt to weaken the system,
and sometimes even to produce a miscarriage. Let me again urge the
importance of a lady, during the whole period of pregnancy, being particular
as to the state of her bowels, as costiveness is a fruitful cause of painful,
tedious and hard labors.
2. Laxatives.—The best laxatives are castor oil, salad oil, compound
rhubarb pills, honey, stewed prunes, stewed rhubarb, Muscatel raisins, figs,
grapes, roasted apples, baked pears, stewed Normandy pippins, coffee,
brown-bread and treacle. Scotch oatmeal made with new milk or water, or
with equal parts of milk and water.
3. Pills.—When the motions are hard, and when the bowels are easily acted
upon, two, or three, or four pills made of Castile soap will frequently
answer the purpose; and if they will, are far better than any other ordinary
laxative. The following is a good form. Take of:

Castile Soap, five scruples;
Oil of Caraway, six drops;

To make twenty-four pills. Two, or three, or four to be taken at bedtime,
occasionally.
4. Honey.—A teaspoonful of honey, either eaten at breakfast or dissolved in
a cup of tea, will frequently, comfortably and effectually, open the bowels,
and will supersede the necessity of taking laxative medicine.
5. Nature's Medicines.—Now, Nature's medicines—exercise in the open
air, occupation, and household duties—on the contrary, not only at the time

open the bowels, but keep up a proper action for the future; hence their
inestimable superiority.
6. Warm Water Injections.—An excellent remedy for costiveness of
pregnancy is an enema, either of warm water, or of Castile soap and water,
which the patient, by means of a self-injecting enema-apparatus, may
administer to herself. The quantity of warm water to be used, is from half a
pint to a pint; the proper heat is the temperature of new milk; the time for
administering it is early in the morning, twice or three times a week.
7. Muscular Pains of the Abdomen.—The best remedy is an abdominal
belt constructed for pregnancy, and adjusted with proper straps and buckles
to accomodate the gradually increasing size of the womb. This plan often
affords great comfort and relief; indeed, such a belt is indispensably
necessary.
8. Diarrhœa.—Although the bowels in pregnancy are generally costive,
they are sometimes in an opposite state, and are relaxed. Now, this
relaxation is frequently owing to there having been prolonged constipation,
and Nature is trying to relieve herself by purging. Do not check it, but allow
it to have its course, and take a little rhubarb or magnesia. The diet should
be simple, plain, and nourishing, and should consist of beef tea, chicken
broth, arrowroot, and of well-made and well-boiled oatmeal gruel. Butcher's
meat, for a few days, should not be eaten; and stimulants of all kinds must
be avoided.
9. Fidgets.—A pregnant lady sometimes suffers severely from "fidgets"; it
generally affects her feet and legs, especially at night, so as to entirely
destroy her sleep; she cannot lie still; she every few minutes moves, tosses
and tumbles about—first on one side, then on the other. The causes of
"fidgets" are a heated state of the blood; an irritable condition of the
nervous system, prevailing at that particular time; and want of occupation.
The treatment of "fidgets" consists of: sleeping in a well-ventilated
apartment, with either window or door open; a thorough ablution of the
whole body every morning, and a good washing with tepid water of the
face, neck, chest, arms and hands every night; shunning hot and close
rooms; taking plenty of out-door exercise; living on a bland, nourishing, but

not rich diet; avoiding meat at night, and substituting in lieu thereof, either a
cupful of arrow-root made with milk, or of well-boiled oatmeal gruel.
10. Exercise.—If a lady, during the night, have the "fidgets," she should get
out of bed; take a short walk up and down the room, being well protected
by a dressing-gown; empty her bladder; turn her pillow, so as to have the
cold side next the head; and then lie down again; and the chances are that
she will now fall asleep. If during the day she have the "fidgets," a ride in
an open carriage; or a stroll in the garden, or in the fields; or a little
housewifery, will do her good, and there is nothing like fresh air, exercise,
and occupation to drive away "the fidgets."
11. Heartburn.—Heartburn is a common and often a distressing symptom
of pregnancy. The acid producing the heartburn is frequently much
increased by an overloaded stomach. An abstemious diet ought to be strictly
observed. Great attention should be paid to the quality of the food. Greens,
pastry, hot buttered toast, melted butter, and everything that is rich and
gross, ought to be carefully avoided. Either a teaspoonful of heavy calcined
magnesia, or half a teaspoonful of carbonate of soda—the former to be
preferred if there be constipation—should occasionally be taken in a wine-
glassful of warm water. If these do not relieve—the above directions as to
diet having been strictly attended to—the following mixture ought to be
tried. Take of:

Carbonate of Ammonia, half a drachm;
Bicarbonate of Soda, a drachm and a half;
Water, eight ounces;

To make a mixture: Two tablespoonfuls to be taken twice or three times a
day, until relief be obtained.
12. Wind in the Stomach and Bowels.—This is a frequent reason why a
pregnant lady cannot sleep at night. The two most frequent causes of
flatulence are, first, the want of walking exercise during the day, and
second, the eating of a hearty meal just before going to bed at night. The
remedies are, of course, in each instance, self-evident.
13. Swollen Legs from Enlarged Veins (Varicose Veins.)—The veins are
frequently much enlarged and distended, causing the legs to be greatly

swollen and very painful, preventing the patient from taking proper walking
exercise. Swollen legs are owing to the pressure of the womb upon the
blood-vessels above. Women who have had large families are more liable
than others to varicose veins. If a lady marry late in life, or if she be very
heavy in pregnancy—carrying the child low down—she is more likely to
have distention of the veins. The best plan will be for her to wear during the
day an elastic stocking, which ought to be made on purpose for her, in order
that it may properly fit the leg and foot.
14. Stretching of the Skin of the Abdomen.—This is frequently, in a first
pregnancy, distressing, from the soreness it causes. The best remedy is to
rub the abdomen, every night and morning, with warm camphorated oil,
and to wear a belt during the day and a broad flannel bandage at night, both
of which should be put on moderately but comfortably tight. The belt must
be secured in its situation by means of properly adjusted straps.
15. Before the Approach of Labor.—The patient, before the approach of
labor, ought to take particular care to have the bowels gently opened, as
during that state a costive state greatly increases her sufferings, and
lengthens the period of her labor. A gentle action is all that is necessary; a
violent one would do more harm than good.
16. Swollen and Painful Breasts.—The breasts are, at times, during
pregnancy, much swollen and very painful and, now and then, they cause
the patient great uneasiness as she fancies that she is going to have either
some dreadful tumor or a gathering of the bosom. There need, in such a
case, be no apprehension. The swelling and the pain are the consequences
of the pregnancy, and will in due time subside without any unpleasant
result. For treatment she cannot do better than rub them well, every night
and morning, with equal parts of Eau de Cologne and olive oil, and wear a
piece of new flannel over them; taking care to cover the nipples with soft
linen, as the friction of the flannel might irritate them.
17. Bowel Complaints.—Bowel complaints, during pregnancy, are not
unfrequent. A dose either of rhubarb and magnesia, or of castor oil, are the
best remedies, and are generally, in the way of medicine, all that is
necessary.

17. Cramps.—Cramps of the legs and of the thighs during the latter period,
and especially at night, are apt to attend pregnancy, and are caused by the
womb pressing upon the nerves which extend to the lower extremities.
Treatment.—Tightly tie a handkerchief, folded like a neckerchief, round the
limb a little above the part affected, and let it remain on for a few minutes.
Friction by means of the hand either with opodeldoc or with laudanum,
taking care not to drink the lotion by mistake, will also give relief.
19. The Whites.—The whites during pregnancy,
especially during the latter months, and particularly if
the lady have had many children, are frequently
troublesome, and are, in a measure, occasioned by the
pressure of the womb on the parts below, causing
irritation. The best way, therefore, to obviate such
pressure is for the patient to lie down a great part of each
day either on a bed or a sofa. She ought to retire early to
rest; she should sleep on a hard mattress and in a well-
ventilated apartment, and should not overload her bed
A PRECIOUS
with clothes. A thick, heavy quilt at these times, and FLOWER.
indeed at all times, is particularly objectionable; the
perspiration cannot pass readily through it as through blankets, and thus she
is weakened. She ought to live on plain, wholesome, nourishing food; and
she must abstain from beer and wine and spirits. The bowels ought to be
gently opened by means of a Seidlitz powder, which should occasionally be
taken early in the morning.
20. Irritation and Itching of the External Parts.—This a most
troublesome affection, and may occur at any time, but more especially
during the latter period of the pregnancy. Let her diet be simple and
nourishing; let her avoid stimulants of all kinds. Let her take a sitz-bath of
warm water, considerably salted. Let her sit in the bath with the body
thoroughly covered.
21. Hot and inflamed.—The external parts, and the passage to the womb
(vagina), in these cases, are not only irritable and itching, but are sometimes
hot and inflamed, and are covered either with small pimples, or with a
whitish exudation of the nature of aphtha (thrush), somewhat similar to the

thrush on the mouth of an infant; then, the addition of glycerine to the lotion
is a great improvement and usually gives much relief.

22. [3]Biliousness is defined by some one as piggishness. Generally it may
be regarded as overfed. The elements of the bile are in the blood in excess
of the power of the liver to eliminate them. This may be caused either from
the superabundance of the materials from which the bile is made or by
inaction of the organ itself. Being thus retained the system is clogged. It is
the result of either too much food in quantity or too rich in quality.
Especially is it caused by the excessive use of fats and sweets. The simplest
remedy is the best. A plain, light diet with plenty of acid fruits, avoiding fats
and sweets, will ameliorate or remove it. Don't force the appetite. Let
hunger demand food. In the morning the sensitiveness of the stomach may
be relieved by taking before rising a cup of hot water, hot milk, hot
lemonade, rice or barley water, selecting according to preference. For this
purpose many find coffee made from browned wheat or corn the best drink.
Depend for a time upon liquid food that can be taken up by absorbents. The
juice of lemons and other acid fruits is usually grateful, and assists in
assimilating any excess in nutriment. These may be diluted according to
taste. With many, an egg lemonade proves relishing and acceptable.
23. Deranged Appetite.—Where the appetite fails, let the patient go
without eating for a little while, say for two or three meals. If, however, the
strength begins to go, try the offering of some unexpected delicacy; or give
small quantities of nourishing food, as directed in case of morning sickness.
24. Piles.—For cases of significance consult a physician. As with
constipation, so with piles, its frequent result, fruit diet, exercise, and sitz-
bath regimen will do much to prevent the trouble. Frequent local
applications of a cold compress, and even of ice, and tepid water injections,
are of great service. Walking or standing aggravate this complaint. Lying
down alleviates it. Dr. Shaw says, "There is nothing in the world that will
produce so great relief in piles as fasting. If the fit is severe, live a whole
day, or even two, if necessary, upon pure soft cold water alone. Give then
very lightly of vegetable food."
25. Toothache.—There is a sort of proverb that a woman loses one tooth
every time she has a child. Neuralgic toothache during pregnancy is, at any

rate, extremely common, and often has to be endured. It is generally
thought not best to have teeth extracted during pregnancy, as the shock to
the nervous system has sometimes caused miscarriage. To wash out the
mouth morning and night with cold or lukewarm water and salt is often of
use. If the teeth are decayed, consult a good dentist in the early stages of
pregnancy, and have the offending teeth properly dressed. Good dentists, in
the present state of the science, extract very few teeth, but save them.
26. Salivation.—Excessive secretion of the saliva has usually been
reckoned substantially incurable. Fasting, cold water treatment, exercise
and fruit diet may be relied on to prevent, cure or alleviate it, where this is
possible, as it frequently is.
27. Headache.—This is, perhaps, almost as common in cases of pregnancy
as "morning sickness." It may be from determination of blood to the head,
from constipation or indigestion, constitutional "sick headache," from
neuralgia, from a cold, from rheumatism. Correct living will prevent much
headache trouble; and where this does not answer the purpose, rubbing and
making magnetic passes over the head by the hand of some healthy
magnetic person will often prove of great service.
28. Liver-Spots.—These, on the face, must probably be endured, as no
trustworthy way of driving them off is known.
29. Jaundice.—See the doctor.
30. Pain on the Right Side.—This is liable to occur from about the fifth to
the eighth month, and is attributed to the pressure of the enlarging womb
upon the liver. Proper living is most likely to alleviate it. Wearing a wet
girdle in daytime or a wet compress at night, sitz-baths, and friction with
the wet hand may also be tried. If the pain is severe a mustard poultice may
be used. Exercise should be carefully moderated if found to increase the
pain. If there is fever and inflammation with it, consult a physician. It is
usually not dangerous, but uncomfortable only.
31. Palpitation of the Heart.—To be prevented by healthy living and calm,
good humor. Lying down will often gradually relieve it, so will a compress
wet with water, as hot as can be borne, placed over the heart and renewed as
often as it gets cool.

32. Fainting.—Most likely to be caused by "quickening," or else by tight
dress, bad air, over-exertion, or other unhealthy living. It is not often
dangerous. Lay the patient in an easy posture, the head rather low than high,
and where cool air may blow across the face; loosen the dress if tight;
sprinkle cold water on the face and hands.
33. Sleeplessness.—Most likely to be caused by incorrect living, and to be
prevented and cured by the opposite. A glass or two of cold water drank
deliberately on going to bed often helps one to go to sleep; so does bathing
the face and hands and the feet in cold water. A short nap in the latter part of
the forenoon can sometimes be had, and is of use. Such a nap ought not to
be too long, or it leaves a heavy feeling; it should be sought with the mind
in a calm state, in a well-ventilated though darkened room, and with the
clothing removed, as at night. A similar nap in the afternoon is not so good,
but is better than nothing. The tepid sitz-bath on going to bed will often
produce sleep, and so will gentle percussion given by an attendant with
palms of the hand over the back for a few minutes on retiring. To secure
sound sleep do not read, write or severely tax the mind in the evening.

MORNING SICKNESS.
1. A pregnant woman is especially liable to suffer many forms of dyspepsia,
nervous troubles, sleeplessness, etc.
2. Morning Sickness is the most common and is the result of an irritation
in the womb, caused by some derangement, and it is greatly irritated by the
habit of indulging in sexual gratification during pregnancy. If people would
imitate the lower animals and reserve the vital forces of the mother for the
benefit of her unborn child, it would be a great boon to humanity. Morning
sickness may begin the next day after conception, but it usually appears
from two to three weeks after the beginning of pregnancy and continues
with more or less severity from two to four months.
3. Home Treatment for Morning Sickness.—Avoid all highly seasoned
and rich food. Also avoid strong tea and coffee. Eat especially light and
simple suppers at five o'clock and no later than six. Some simple broths,
such as will be found in the cooking department of this book will be very
nourishing and soothing. Coffee made from brown wheat or corn is an
excellent remedy to use. The juice of lemons reduced with water will
sometimes prove very effectual. A good lemonade with an egg well stirred
is very nourishing and toning to the stomach.
4. Hot Fomentation on the stomach and liver is excellent, and warm and
hot water injections are highly beneficial.
5. A little powdered magnesia at bed time, taken in a little milk, will often
give almost permanent relief.
6. Avoid corsets or any other pressure upon the stomach. All garments must
be worn loosely. In many cases this will entirely prevent all stomach
disturbances.

Relation of Husband and Wife During Pregnancy.
1. Miscarriage.—If the wife is subject to miscarriage every precaution
should be employed to prevent its happening again. Under such exceptional
circumstances the husband should sleep apart the first five months of
pregnancy; after that length of time, the ordinary relation may be assumed.
If miscarriage has taken place, intercourse should be avoided for a month or
six weeks at least after the accident.
2. Impregnation—Impregnation is the only mission of intercourse, and
after that has taken place, intercourse can subserve no other purpose than
sensual gratification.
3. Woman Must Judge.—Every man should recognize the fact that woman
is the sole umpire as to when, how frequent, and under what circumstances,
connection should take place. Her desires should not be ignored, for her
likes and dislikes are—as seen in another part of this book—easily
impressed upon the unborn child. If she is strong and healthy there is no
reason why passion should not be gratified with moderation and caution
during the whole period of pregnancy, but she must be the sole judge and
her desires supreme.
4. Voluntary Instances.—No voluntary instances occur through the entire
animal kingdom. All females repel with force and fierceness the approaches
of the male. The human family is the only exception. A man that loves his
wife, however, will respect her under all circumstances and recognize her
condition and yield to her wishes.

A Private Word to the Expectant Mother
Elizabeth Cady Stanton, in a lecture to ladies, thus
strongly states her views regarding maternity and
painless childbirth:
"We must educate our daughters to think that
motherhood is grand, and that God never cursed it. And
this curse, if it be a curse, may be rolled off, as man has
rolled away the curse of labor; as the curse has been
rolled from the descendants of Ham. My mission is to preach this new
gospel. If you suffer, it is not because you are cursed of God, but because
you violate His laws. What an incubus it would take from woman could she
be educated to know that the pains of maternity are no curse upon her kind.
We know that among the Indians the squaws do not suffer in childbirth.
They will step aside from the ranks, even on the march, and return in a short
time to them with the newborn child. What an absurdity then, to suppose
that only enlightened Christian women are cursed. But one word of fact is
worth a volume of philosophy; let me give you some of my own
experience. I am the mother of seven children. My girlhood was spent
mostly in the open air. I early imbibed the idea that a girl was just as good
as a boy, and I carried it out. I would walk five miles before breakfast or
ride ten on horseback. After I was married I wore my clothing sensibly.
Their weight hung entirely on my shoulders. I never compressed my body
out of its natural shape. When my first four children were born, I suffered
very little. I then made up my mind that it was totally unnecessary for me to
suffer at all; so I dressed lightly, walked every day, lived as much as
possible in the open air, ate no condiments or spices, kept quiet, listened to
music, looked at pictures, and took proper care of myself. The night before
the birth of the child I walked three miles. The child was born without a
particle of pain. I bathed it and dressed it, and it weighed ten and one-half
pounds. That same day I dined with the family. Everybody said I would
surely die, but I never had a relapse or a moment's inconvenience from it. I
know this is not being delicate and refined, but if you would be vigorous

and healthy, in spite of the diseases of your ancestors, and your own
disregard of nature's laws, try it."

Shall Pregnant Women Work?
1. Over-worked Mothers.—Children born of over-worked mothers, are
liable to be a dwarfed and puny race. However, their chances are better than
those of the children of inactive, dependent, indolent mothers who have
neither brain nor muscle to transmit to son or daughter. The truth seems to
be that excessive labor, with either body or mind, is alike injurious to both
men and women, and herein lies the sting of that old curse. This paragraph
suggests all that need be said on the question whether pregnant women
should or should not labor.
2. Foolishly Idle.—At least it is certain that they should not be foolishly
idle; and on the other hand, it is equally certain that they should be relieved
from painful laborious occupations that exhaust and unfit them for
happiness. Pleasant and useful physical and intellectual occupation,
however, will not only do no harm, but positive good.
3. The Best Man and the Best Woman.—The best man is he who can rear
the best child, and the best woman is she who can rear the best child. We
very properly extol to the skies Harriet Hosmer, the artist, for cutting in
marble the statue of a Zenobia, how much more should we sing praises to
the man and the woman who bring into the world a noble boy or girl. The
one is a piece of lifeless beauty, the other a piece of life including all
beauty, all possibilities.

Words for Young Mothers.
The act of nursing is sometimes painful to the mother,
especially before the habit is fully established. The
discomfort is greatly increased if the skin that covers the
nipples is tender and delicate. The suction pulls it off,
leaving them in a state in which the necessary pressure
of the child's lips cause intense agony. This can be
prevented in a great measure, says Elizabeth Robinson
Scovil, in Ladies' Home Journal, if not entirely, by
bathing the nipples twice a day for six weeks before the confinement with
powdered alum dissolved in alcohol; or salt dissolved in brandy. If there is
any symptom of the skin cracking when the child begins to nurse, they
should be painted with a mixture of tannin and glycerine. This must be
washed off before the baby touches them and renewed when it leaves them.
If they are very painful, the doctor will probably order morphia added to the
mixture. A rubber nipple shield to be put on at the time of nursing, is a great
relief. If the nipples are retracted or drawn inward, they can be drawn out
painlessly by filling a pint bottle with boiling water, emptying it and
quickly applying the mouth over the nipple. As the air in the bottle cools, it
condenses, leaving a vacuum and the nipple is pushed out by the air behind
it.
When the milk accumulates or "cakes" in the breast in hard patches, they
should be rubbed very gently, from the base upwards, with warm
camphorated oil. The rubbing should be the lightest, most delicate stroking,
avoiding pressure. If lumps appear at the base of the breast and it is red,
swollen and painful, cloths wrung out of cold water should be applied and
the doctor sent for. While the breast is full and hard all over, not much
apprehension need be felt. It is when lumps appear that the physician should
be notified, that he may, if possible, prevent the formation of abscesses.
While a woman is nursing she should eat plenty of nourishing food—milk,
oatmeal, cracked wheat, and good juicy, fresh meat, boiled, roasted, or
broiled, but not fried. Between each meal, before going to bed, and once