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Title: A Modest Proposal

Author: Jonathan Swift

Release date: October 1, 1997 [eBook #1080]
Most recently updated: September 28, 2025

Language: English

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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MODEST
PROPOSAL ***

A Modest Proposal

For preventing the children of poor people in Ireland,
from being a burden on their parents or country,
and for making them beneficial to the publick.

by Dr. Jonathan Swift

1729

It is a melancholy object to those, who walk through this great town, or
travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabbin-doors
crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or six
children, all in rags, and importuning every passenger for an alms. These
mothers, instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are
forced to employ all their time in stroling to beg sustenance for their
helpless infants who, as they grow up, either turn thieves for want of work,
or leave their dear native country, to fight for the Pretender in Spain, or sell
themselves to the Barbadoes.
I think it is agreed by all parties, that this prodigious number of children
in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers, and frequently
of their fathers, is in the present deplorable state of the kingdom, a very
great additional grievance; and therefore whoever could find out a fair,
cheap and easy method of making these children sound and useful members
of the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the publick, as to have his
statue set up for a preserver of the nation.
But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the
children of professed beggars: it is of a much greater extent, and shall take
in the whole number of infants at a certain age, who are born of parents in
effect as little able to support them, as those who demand our charity in the
streets.
As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon this
important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of our
projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in their computation.
It is true, a child just dropt from its dam, may be supported by her milk, for
a solar year, with little other nourishment: at most not above the value of
two shillings, which the mother may certainly get, or the value in scraps, by
her lawful occupation of begging; and it is exactly at one year old that I
propose to provide for them in such a manner, as, instead of being a charge
upon their parents, or the parish, or wanting food and raiment for the rest of
their lives, they shall, on the contrary, contribute to the feeding, and partly
to the clothing of many thousands.

There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will
prevent those voluntary abortions, and that horrid practice of women
murdering their bastard children, alas! too frequent among us, sacrificing
the poor innocent babes, I doubt, more to avoid the expence than the shame,
which would move tears and pity in the most savage and inhuman breast.
The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million
and a half, of these I calculate there may be about two hundred thousand
couple, whose wives are breeders; from which number I subtract thirty
thousand couple, who are able to maintain their own children, (although I
apprehend there cannot be so many under the present distresses of the
kingdom) but this being granted, there will remain a hundred and seventy
thousand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand, for those women who
miscarry, or whose children die by accident or disease within the year.
There only remain a hundred and twenty thousand children of poor parents
annually born. The question therefore is, How this number shall be reared
and provided for? which, as I have already said, under the present situation
of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed. For we
can neither employ them in handicraft or agriculture; they neither build
houses, (I mean in the country) nor cultivate land: they can very seldom
pick up a livelihood by stealing till they arrive at six years old; except
where they are of towardly parts, although I confess they learn the
rudiments much earlier; during which time they can however be properly
looked upon only as probationers; as I have been informed by a principal
gentleman in the county of Cavan, who protested to me, that he never knew
above one or two instances under the age of six, even in a part of the
kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that art.
I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl, before twelve years
old, is no saleable commodity, and even when they come to this age, they
will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half a crown at most,
on the exchange; which cannot turn to account either to the parents or
kingdom, the charge of nutriments and rags having been at least four times
that value.
I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope
will not be liable to the least objection.
I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in
London, that a young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most

delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked,
or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricasee, or a
ragoust.
I do therefore humbly offer it to publick consideration, that of the
hundred and twenty thousand children, already computed, twenty thousand
may be reserved for breed, whereof only one fourth part to be males; which
is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle, or swine, and my reason is,
that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not
much regarded by our savages, therefore, one male will be sufficient to
serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old,
be offered in sale to the persons of quality and fortune, through the
kingdom, always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last
month, so as to render them plump, and fat for a good table. A child will
make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines
alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned
with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day,
especially in winter.
I have reckoned upon a medium, that a child just born will weigh 12
pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, encreaseth to 28 pounds.
I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for
landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to
have the best title to the children.
Infant’s flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful in
March, and a little before and after; for we are told by a grave author, an
eminent French physician, that fish being a prolifick dyet, there are more
children born in Roman Catholick countries about nine months after Lent,
than at any other season; therefore, reckoning a year after Lent, the markets
will be more glutted than usual, because the number of Popish infants, is at
least three to one in this kingdom, and therefore it will have one other
collateral advantage, by lessening the number of Papists among us.
I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar’s child (in which
list I reckon all cottagers, labourers, and four-fifths of the farmers) to be
about two shillings per annum, rags included; and I believe no gentleman
would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat child, which,
as I have said, will make four dishes of excellent nutritive meat, when he
hath only some particular friend, or his own family to dine with him. Thus

the squire will learn to be a good landlord, and grow popular among his
tenants, the mother will have eight shillings neat profit, and be fit for work
till she produces another child.
Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may flay
the carcass; the skin of which, artificially dressed, will make admirable
gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.
As to our City of Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose, in
the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will not be
wanting; although I rather recommend buying the children alive, and
dressing them hot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs.
A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtues I
highly esteem, was lately pleased in discoursing on this matter, to offer a
refinement upon my scheme. He said, that many gentlemen of this
kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want of
venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and maidens,
not exceeding fourteen years of age, nor under twelve; so great a number of
both sexes in every county being now ready to starve for want of work and
service: and these to be disposed of by their parents if alive, or otherwise by
their nearest relations. But with due deference to so excellent a friend, and
so deserving a patriot, I cannot be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the
males, my American acquaintance assured me from frequent experience,
that their flesh was generally tough and lean, like that of our schoolboys, by
continual exercise, and their taste disagreeable, and to fatten them would
not answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think, with
humble submission, be a loss to the publick, because they soon would
become breeders themselves: and besides, it is not improbable that some
scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice, (although indeed
very unjustly) as a little bordering upon cruelty, which, I confess, hath
always been with me the strongest objection against any project, how well
soever intended.
But in order to justify my friend, he confessed, that this expedient was
put into his head by the famous Psalmanaazor, a native of the island
Formosa, who came from thence to London, above twenty years ago, and in
conversation told my friend, that in his country, when any young person
happened to be put to death, the executioner sold the carcass to persons of
quality, as a prime dainty; and that, in his time, the body of a plump girl of

fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison the Emperor, was sold to
his imperial majesty’s prime minister of state, and other great mandarins of
the court in joints from the gibbet, at four hundred crowns. Neither indeed
can I deny, that if the same use were made of several plump young girls in
this town, who without one single groat to their fortunes, cannot stir abroad
without a chair, and appear at a playhouse and assemblies in foreign fineries
which they never will pay for, the kingdom would not be the worse.
Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast
number of poor people, who are aged, diseased, or maimed; and I have been
desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken, to ease the nation
of so grievous an incumbrance. But I am not in the least pain upon that
matter, because it is very well known, that they are every day dying, and
rotting, by cold and famine, and filth, and vermin, as fast as can be
reasonably expected. And as to the young labourers, they are now in almost
as hopeful a condition. They cannot get work, and consequently pine away
from want of nourishment, to a degree, that if at any time they are
accidentally hired to common labour, they have not strength to perform it,
and thus the country and themselves are happily delivered from the evils to
come.
I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I think
the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and many, as
well as of the highest importance.
For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the number
of Papists, with whom we are yearly overrun, being the principal breeders
of the nation, as well as our most dangerous enemies, and who stay at home
on purpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to the Pretender, hoping to
take their advantage by the absence of so many good Protestants, who have
chosen rather to leave their country, than stay at home and pay tithes against
their conscience to an episcopal curate.
Secondly, The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own,
which by law may be made liable to a distress, and help to pay their
landlord’s rent, their corn and cattle being already seized, and money a
thing unknown.
Thirdly, Whereas the maintainance of a hundred thousand children, from
two years old, and upwards, cannot be computed at less than ten shillings a
piece per annum, the nation’s stock will be thereby encreased fifty thousand

pounds per annum, besides the profit of a new dish, introduced to the tables
of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom, who have any refinement in
taste. And the money will circulate among our selves, the goods being
entirely of our own growth and manufacture.
Fourthly, The constant breeders, besides the gain of eight shillings
sterling per annum by the sale of their children, will be rid of the charge of
maintaining them after the first year.
Fifthly, This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns, where
the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best receipts for
dressing it to perfection; and consequently have their houses frequented by
all the fine gentlemen, who justly value themselves upon their knowledge in
good eating; and a skilful cook, who understands how to oblige his guests,
will contrive to make it as expensive as they please.
Sixthly, This would be a great inducement to marriage, which all wise
nations have either encouraged by rewards, or enforced by laws and
penalties. It would encrease the care and tenderness of mothers towards
their children, when they were sure of a settlement for life to the poor
babes, provided in some sort by the publick, to their annual profit instead of
expence. We should soon see an honest emulation among the married
women, which of them could bring the fattest child to the market. Men
would become as fond of their wives, during the time of their pregnancy, as
they are now of their mares in foal, their cows in calf, or sows when they
are ready to farrow; nor offer to beat or kick them (as is too frequent a
practice) for fear of a miscarriage.
Many other advantages might be enumerated. For instance, the addition
of some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barrel’d beef: the
propagation of swine’s flesh, and improvement in the art of making good
bacon, so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs, too
frequent at our tables; which are no way comparable in taste or
magnificence to a well grown, fat yearling child, which roasted whole will
make a considerable figure at a Lord Mayor’s feast, or any other publick
entertainment. But this, and many others, I omit, being studious of brevity.
Supposing that one thousand families in this city, would be constant
customers for infants flesh, besides others who might have it at merry
meetings, particularly at weddings and christenings, I compute that Dublin
would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses; and the rest of the

kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) the
remaining eighty thousand.
I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against this
proposal, unless it should be urged, that the number of people will be
thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and was indeed
one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the reader will
observe, that I calculate my remedy for this one individual Kingdom of
Ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, I think, ever can be upon
Earth. Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of taxing our
absentees at five shillings a pound: Of using neither clothes, nor houshold
furniture, except what is of our own growth and manufacture: Of utterly
rejecting the materials and instruments that promote foreign luxury: Of
curing the expensiveness of pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in our
women: Of introducing a vein of parsimony, prudence and temperance: Of
learning to love our country, wherein we differ even from Laplanders, and
the inhabitants of Topinamboo: Of quitting our animosities and factions, nor
acting any longer like the Jews, who were murdering one another at the
very moment their city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell our
country and consciences for nothing: Of teaching landlords to have at least
one degree of mercy towards their tenants. Lastly, of putting a spirit of
honesty, industry, and skill into our shopkeepers, who, if a resolution could
now be taken to buy only our native goods, would immediately unite to
cheat and exact upon us in the price, the measure, and the goodness, nor
could ever yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just dealing, though
often and earnestly invited to it.
Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like expedients,
till he hath at least some glympse of hope, that there will ever be some
hearty and sincere attempt to put them into practice.
But, as to myself, having been wearied out for many years with offering
vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of success, I
fortunately fell upon this proposal, which, as it is wholly new, so it hath
something solid and real, of no expence and little trouble, full in our own
power, and whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging England. For
this kind of commodity will not bear exportation, and flesh being of too
tender a consistence, to admit a long continuance in salt, although perhaps I

could name a country, which would be glad to eat up our whole nation
without it.
After all, I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion, as to reject
any offer, proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent,
cheap, easy, and effectual. But before something of that kind shall be
advanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire the
author or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. First, As
things now stand, how they will be able to find food and raiment for a
hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly, There being a
round million of creatures in humane figure throughout this kingdom,
whose whole subsistence put into a common stock, would leave them in
debt two million of pounds sterling, adding those who are beggars by
profession, to the bulk of farmers, cottagers and labourers, with their wives
and children, who are beggars in effect; I desire those politicians who
dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold to attempt an answer, that
they will first ask the parents of these mortals, whether they would not at
this day think it a great happiness to have been sold for food at a year old,
in the manner I prescribe, and thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene
of misfortunes, as they have since gone through, by the oppression of
landlords, the impossibility of paying rent without money or trade, the want
of common sustenance, with neither house nor clothes to cover them from
the inclemencies of the weather, and the most inevitable prospect of
intailing the like, or greater miseries, upon their breed for ever.
I profess in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal
interest in endeavouring to promote this necessary work, having no other
motive than the publick good of my country, by advancing our trade,
providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving some pleasure to the
rich. I have no children, by which I can propose to get a single penny; the
youngest being nine years old, and my wife past child-bearing.

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