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Title: The Lovers Assistant; Or, New Art of Love

Author: Henry Fielding
Ovid

Editor: Claude Edward Jones

Release date: January 21, 2010 [eBook #31036]

Language: English

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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LOVERS
ASSISTANT; OR, NEW ART OF LOVE ***

E-text prepared by Sankar Viswanathan, Delphine Lettau, Joseph Cooper,
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The Augustan Reprint Society

HENRY FIELDING

THE LOVERS ASSISTANT, OR,
NEW ART OF LOVE
(1760)

Edited, with an
Introduction by

Claude E. Jones

Publication Number 89

William Andrews Clark Memorial Library
University of California
Los Angeles
1961

GENERAL EDITORS

Richard C. Boys, University of Michigan
Ralph Cohen, University of California, Los Angeles
Vinton A. Dearing, University of California, Los Angeles
Lawrence Clark Powell, Clark Memorial Library

ASSISTANT EDITOR

W. Earl Britton, University of Michigan

ADVISORY EDITORS

Emmett L. Avery, State College of Washington
Benjamin Boyce, Duke University
Louis Bredvold, University of Michigan
John Butt, University of Edinburgh
James L. Clifford, Columbia University
Arthur Friedman, University of Chicago
Louis A. Landa, Princeton University
Samuel H. Monk, University of Minnesota
Ernest C. Mossner, University of Texas
James Sutherland, University College, London
H.T. Swedenberg, Jr., University of California, Los Angeles

CORRESPONDING SECRETARY

Edna C. Davis, Clark Memorial Library

INTRODUCTION
The publishing history of this translation has been sketched by Cross, in his
History of Henry Fielding, and may simply be summarized here. The first
edition, entitled Ovid's Art of Love Paraphrased and Adapted to the Present
Time (or Times) was first issued in February, 1747, and was advertised in
the Gentleman's and Scots Magazines in that month. During March, further
advertisements appeared in the London Magazine and the St. James
Evening Post. The most extensive notice ran, however, in Fielding's own
Jacobite Journal (No. 15), where it served as basis for a detailed
comparison between the art of love and the art of Jacobitism. Of this 1747
anonymous, original edition no copy is known.
In 1759, the work was reissued in London and Dublin, under the title The
Lover's Assistant, and again in London in 1760. Meanwhile, advertisements
for the original edition, as by Henry Fielding, had been run by the publisher,
Andrew Millar, in 1754 and 1758. Inasmuch as Millar apparently still had
unsold sheets in 1758, the 1759 edition may comprise these sheets with new
title pages and prefatory matter necessary because of Fielding's death in
1754. At any rate, the "modern instances" referred to by the author of the
1759 Preface are not too modern to have been written in 1747. There has
been no reprint since 1760.
The present text is printed from the 1760 edition, collated with a copy of the
1759 issue. The Latin text, which in the original faces the English, is
omitted. Notes keyed by letters and asterisks appear in the original; it will
be noted that Fielding's notes combine scholarly and facetious remarks; he
frequently used footnotes for comic effect, especially in the translation of
the Plutus of Aristophanes in which he collaborated.
Literature affords few pleasures so satisfying as translations done by those
who are not only expert in the languages concerned, but who also are of the
same spirit as the authors they translate. Some examples come readily to
mind: Pope's Horace, Dryden's Juvenal and Persius, Smollett's LeSage,
Lang's Aucassin and Nicolette, and Pound's translations from Provençal.

Such a felicitous combination appears in Henry Fielding's translation of
Book I of Ovid's Ars Amoris.
Throughout the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, English translators of
the classics abounded, including Marlowe, Jonson, Chapman and Sandys;
Roscommon, Waller, Denham, Cowley and Dryden. By 1700, the major
kinds of translation had been differentiated, described, evaluated and
practised.
To summarize, Dryden wrote as follows in his Preface to the 1680 edition
of Ovid's Epistles, Translated by Several Hands:
All translation I suppose may be reduced to these three heads:
First, that of Metaphrase, or turning an Author word by word,
and line by line, from one language to another.... The second
way is that of Paraphrase, or Translation with Latitude, where
the Author is kept in view by the Translator, so as never to be
lost, but his words are not so strictly follow'd as his sense, and
that too is admitted to be amplyfied, but not alter'd.... The Third
way is that of Imitation, where the Translator (if now [i.e. by
taking such liberties] he has not lost that name) assumes the
liberty not only to vary from the words and sence, but to forsake
them both as he sees occasion: and taking only some general
hints from the Original, to run division on the ground-work, as
he pleases....
Doubtless, he refers to the translation of verse into verse, but actually verse-
into-prose also falls within Dryden's "third way." When the author of the
Preface to The Lover's Assistant speaks of it as an "undertaking" in
translation, he means prose imitation, or paraphrase of verse.
Earlier, in the 1743 Miscellanies, Fielding had published "Part of Juvenal's
Sixth Satire Modernized in Burlesque [i.e. Hudibrastic] Verse." The
modernization, as in his Art of Love, was of place (England instead of Italy)
as well as time, and allowed the author to satirize some of his
contemporaries, as well as the customs of his own age.
When, four years later, he turned to the first book of Ovid's Artis
Amatoriae, he found prose an even better medium for "Imitation," or

"Modernization." The result is a most enjoyable pot pourri of Roman
mythology and eighteenth century social customs, combined with some of
the patriotism left over from Fielding's anti-Jacobinism during the Forty-
Five. His devotion to, and constant use of, the classics has excited comment
from every Fielding biographer since his own time. His works abound in
classical instances, references and imitations; and most of his writing
includes translations from Greek or Roman authors. His library, as Austin
Dobson observed, was rich in editions of the classics.
Curiously, the sale catalogue lists only one, unidentifiable, Ovid item, as
contrasted with 5 editions of Horace, 9 of Lucian and 13 (between 1504 and
1629) of Aristotle. This probably means that, along with other unlisted
works known to have been in his possession, his Ovid was retained by his
family or given to a friend. Dryden's translation of Book One of the Ars
Amoris is included among Fielding's books, however, and Cross suggests
that Fielding "kept one eye" on it. It is surprising how much visualization
there is in his imitation. Many of the incidents resemble those treated by
Hogarth, with whom by 1747 Fielding was on excellent terms. There is also
some resemblance in his contemporaneous materials, or modernization, to
scenes in Fielding's own later plays, and in his novels.

PREFACE
This Work was begun many Years ago, though altered in some Places by the
Author, before his Death; as will appear by the modern Instances
introduced in it. Many of which being so applicable to the present Time, is
the Occasion of it being now published.
As to any Exception which may be made to the Impurity of this Work, we
shall transcribe what was written long ago in its Defence, from the Preface
prefixed to Mr. Dryden's Translation of this Poem.
'A great many People are mistaken in these Books; and tho' they were made
use of as a Pretence to drive the Author from the Court of Augustus, and
confine him to Tomos on the Frontiers of the Getae and Sarmatae, yet they
were not the true Cause of his Confinement. They are very far from being
so licentious as the Writings of several other Poets, both Greek and Latin.
However we must own he might have been a little more discreet, especially
in some Places[A].
[Note A: He means in the other two Books.]
'That which offended the Romans most in this Work, cannot touch us. It has
always been more dangerous in Italy to converse with Women of Honour,
and frequent their Houses, than 'tis with us; where there is more Liberty,
and what in that Country may be an Occasion of Debauchery, would not at
all be so in ours.
'Notwithstanding all that has been said against these Books of the Art of
Love, by some over-scrupulous Persons, whose Discretion has too much of
Affectation in it: they are not only necessary for the Knowledge of the Latin
Tongue, and the Roman History, concerning which they contain several
Things very particular; but for the noble Sentiments we find in them, which
the Gravest and Learnedest Writers have thought worthy to be quoted for
Authorities.

'In a Word, there's nothing in them that comes near the Licence of some
Epigrams of Catullus, Martial, and Ausonius, of some Satires of Horace
and Juvenal, and several other Pieces of Ancient and Modern Authors,
which are read and commented upon; and about which even celebrated
Jesuits and other religious Persons, as eminent for their Piety as their
Erudition, have employed their Studies. Yet who has condemn'd or
complain'd of them? We must confess, such Things should be managed with
Address; and those of them who have meddled with any of the Authors I
have named, have shewn that it may be done so, by their succeeding so
happily in it.
'As for this Treatise of the Art of Love, for which the Author has also
prescrib'd a Remedy, as it is liable to be ill interpreted by those whose Pens
poison every Thing they touch; so it may bear a good Construction, by such
as know how to turn every Thing to Advantage.
'I will yet say, this Art may be apply'd to those that intend to marry. There is
nothing sure against Decency in all that. I agree, if you will have it so, that
it extends so far as to direct one to the Means to gain a Mistress. If this was
not lawful heretofore in Italy, on account of the jealous Humour of the
Italians, we cannot, for the same Reason only, say it ought to be forbidden
in our Country, any more than in several others, provided we could be sure
the Ladies Modesty would not be offended, before whom Youth should be
always careful not to exceed the Bounds of the Respect that's due to them.'
To this I may add, that if the Objection of Impurity lies against any Part of
this Work, it is only against the two latter Books, for in that which we have
here paraphrased, there is nothing capable of offending the nicest Ear.
With regard to the Merit of this Paraphrase, which is entirely a new
Undertaking, and might perhaps, if properly encouraged, be carried on
with other Latin Poets, we shall only observe, that the utmost Care hath
been taken to preserve the Spirit and true Sense of the Author, and where we
have been obliged to deviate, we have given the literal Translation in the
Notes.
Upon the whole, we cannot suppress, what one of the most learned Men of
this Age, said upon persuing the Paraphrase, viz. That he thought it would

serve better to explain the Meaning of Ovid to a Learner, than any other
Translation, or all his numerous Commentators.

BOOK I
If in so learned an Age as this, when Arts and Sciences are risen to such
Perfection, there be any Gentleman unskilled in the Art of Loving, let him
come to my School; where, if he hath any Genius, he will soon become an
Adept: For I would by no means have any young Gentlemen think, that
Erudition is unnecessary upon this Occasion. It is well known that the
[1]Rules of Art are necessary to the Conduct of a Ship; for which reason,
none but able and experienced Seamen are preferred to the Command of
one. Rules are necessary even to make a good Coachman, as those
Gentlemen who have the Ambition to excel this way very well know. In the
same manner is Art required to drive the Chariot of Love well. Now it hath
pleased Venus to place me in the Coach-Box: what a Captain is to a Ship, or
the Driver to his Chariot, that am I to Love. I own indeed Master Cupid is a
little wild, and often stubborn; but he is only a Child, and of an Age to be
disciplined: And however fierce the Disposition of a Lad may be, a
judicious Schoolmaster knows very well how to correct it: For many a Boy
who hath afterwards turned out a Hero, hath when at School very patiently
submitted to the Lash, and quietly, at the Word of Command, held out his
Hands to be whipt [2]. Duke William [3] himself, when a Lad, very possibly
submitted to Correction; and he [4] who was hereafter to become the Terror
of his Enemies, might in his Youth have been afraid of his Tutor. Mr. Pointz
was his Preceptor: I am the Preceptor of Love. Both these Youths were of a
fierce Disposition, both elevated [5] in their Birth. But as the stoutest Ox
submits himself to the Yoke, and the most fiery Horse to the Bridle, so shall
Love to me. Though he may bend his Bow against my Breast, and shake his
Torches at me; no matter: nay, the more he pierces me with his Arrows, the
more he burns me, the more severely will I be revenged of him.
But here, Master Apollo, I will tell no lies to my Readers. I do not pretend
to have received any Inspiration from you, any more than from Parson
Whitefield [6]: And as for Miss Clio [7] and her eight Sisters, I never visit
them; nor have I even a Cap-Acquaintance with them. I write from
Experience only; and Experto crede Roberto is my Motto. I promise my
Readers that I will tell them truth; and if I must, for form sake, invoke any

Muse, Venus herself shall be the Person [8]. Sweet Goddess! then be thou
present, and smile at my Undertaking. But as for you who cannot smile, I
mean you, Prudes, with your screw'd Faces, which may be considered as
Signs hung forth before the Door of Virtue, and which perhaps, like other
Signs, promise what is not to be found in the House; I desire neither your
Favour nor your Company. Good-natur'd Girls[9] are all I write to; and such
I promise them may read my Works without a Blush.
Know then, my good Scholar, that art unexperienced in the Art of Love, that
this Art consists of three principal Points: First, to select a proper Mistress:
Secondly, to win her Affections: And, Thirdly, to preserve your mutual
Affection. Of all these therefore we will treat; or, to speak metaphorically,
through these three Roads we will drive the Chariot we have undertaken to
guide.
First then as to the Choice of a Mistress, to whom you may say, In Thee
alone my choice is fixed. Do not believe such a one will fall into your Lap.
It will become you to look about sharp for her, and with all your Eyes, I do
assure you. And here my first Instruction shall be, where she may most
probably be found: For he is a bad Huntsman who would beat about the
Royal Exchange for a Hare or a Fox; and not a much better Gunner or
Fisherman, who goes a shooting in Somerset-Gardens, or attempts to angle
in the magnificent Bason there. As these all know the Places where their
Game resort, so must you.
Here then, I by no means advise you to make a long Voyage after a foreign
Mistress, as Perseus did, who fetched Andromeda[10] from the Indies; or
Paris, whom nothing would serve but a Grecian Mistress. Your own
Country, my Friend, will produce Women which the World cannot equal.
Beauties are as plenty in the City of London as Apples in[11] Herefordshire,
or Grains of Wheat[12] in Hampshire; they are indeed as plenty as Fish in
the Sea, or Birds in the Air; nay, the Sky hath not more Stars than London
hath Beauties: for England[13], not Cyprus, is the Queen of Love's favourite
Island. Whether you love green Fruit, and which is in the Bud only, or
Beauty in its fuller Bloom, or that which is arrived to perfect Ripeness; nay,
if nothing but Wisdom or Sagacity will serve your turn, of these too Old
England will afford you a sufficient Plenty.

In the pleasant Month of May, repair to Vaux-Hall[14]. Here take your
Evening Walk, either round the verdant Scenes, where Nightingales, the
only Foreigners who give us their Songs for nothing, warble their most
delicious Notes. When your Limbs demand Repose, you may enjoy it in an
Alcove, from whence the embattel'd Troops of Venus will pass in review
before you. Again, the lofty Dome of Ranelagh invites your Steps. Whether
the illustrious Artist took his Model from that House, which as a Reward for
their Industry, or for some little regard for their Honey, the benevolent
Nature of Man hath conferred on that laborious Animal the Bee: Or whether
a more pious Disposition chose this Form from the musical Instrument
which summons the whole Parish to Church: Or whether the wondrous
Force of Genius, unassisted by any Model, did not of itself strike out this
wondrous Architecture; let Kent or Benson inquire. Hither, from every
Corner of the Town, repair the loveliest Nymphs. Here too thou may'st
survey them, either walking or reposed on Benches at thy Ease. Nor is the
Mall to be neglected, where once die brawny Arm of Charles displayed its
Strength, and beat his subtle Courtiers at the Play, whence it derives its
Name. Nor, Kensington, must thy Gardens be passed by, once the Delight of
mighty Caroline, and to the future Age a Monument of her Taste. Here the
Charmers draw in sweet Air, and send it forth again in sweeter Sighs, as
Tributes to the loved Memory of that mighty Queen. As for the Ring,
formerly the Scene of Beauty's many Triumphs, it is now become a lonely
deserted Place: Brilliants and brilliant Eyes no longer sparkle there: No
more the heedless Beau falls by the random Glance, or well-pointed Fan.
The Ring is now no more: Yet Ruckholt, Marybone and The Wells survive;
Places by no means to be neglected by the Gallant: for Beauty may lurk
beneath the Straw Hat, and Venus often clothes her lovely Limbs in Stuffs.
Nay, the very Courts of Law are not excluded; and the Scenes of Wrangling
are sometimes the Scenes of Love. In that Hall where Thames sometimes
overflowing, washes the Temple of Venus Lucy, the grave Serjeant becomes
a Victim to the Fair; and he who so well knows how to defend others,
cannot defend himself. Here the Special Pleader loses all Power to Demurr,
and finds beyond his Expectation a novel Assignment spring up in the
Cause. Him Venus Lucy[15] laughs at from her neighbouring Temple; for the
Council is now become the Client, and squeezes an empty Hand harder than
he ever did a full one. But above all, the Theatres are the Place of Sport: for
these will be most fruitful to your Wishes. Here you will find one Object to

love, and another to toy with. Some, of whom a single Touch will suffice,
and others, in whom you will desire a stronger Tenure. Neither do the Ants
in pursuit of Grain, or the Bees in quest of Flowers, swarm in greater
Numbers than the Beauties to the Theatres. The variety of Charmers here
have often distracted my Choice. Hither they come to see, and to be
themselves seen; and many are the Love-Bargains here made.
And now, Friend, I will tell you a Story. Romulus was the first Person who
ever made this use of the Theatre, when he ordered his Soldiers to fall foul
on the Sabine Ladies, whom he invited to a Play acted by his Command.
Not that I would have you think, that Theatre was like the Playhouse in
Convent-Garden, enriched with Scenes, Machines, and other Decorations.
To say the truth, it was no better than a Barn, or Booth. Here he assembled
the Sabine Girls, and ordered his Romans to chuse every Man his Miss.
They did so, and while the poor Girls thought no Harm, those Fellows felt
strange Emotions within. Now while a certain Dancer, called, The Ludio,
was performing a Tambourine, which I suppose took greatly at that time,
Romulus on a sudden gave the Signal for falling on. This was instantly
obeyed. They all rushed in, laid their Hands upon the Girls, and soon gave
them sufficient Tokens of their Purpose.
As the Doves, who are the most timorous of Birds, fly from Eagles; or as
the young Lamb runs from Wolves, as soon as she sees them, so terrified
were these Ladies, at the Men rushing upon them, in this unlawful manner.
The Colour forsook their Cheeks at once. All were equally in a Fright,
though they discovered their Fear by different Symptoms. Some of them
tear their Hair, others sit in Amazement, Terror strikes some dumb, others
call in vain for the Assistance of their Mammas. One cries out, another is
shocked to death; one stands still, another endeavours to get out of the
House. But all their Endeavours are vain; and perhaps indeed their Blushes
heightened their Beauty; they were all led off, and those who would not go
were carried. Methinks, I hear one of their Gallants thus addressing his
weeping Fair. Why, my Dear, will you spoil those lovely Eyes with Tears? I
promise you, you shall be served no worse than your Mother hath been
before. I will only do to you, what your Father did to her. Ah Romulus!
Romulus! no General ever better knew how to reward his Soldiers; I
promise you, that when I hear your Drum beating up for Voluntiers, I will
enlist under your Command.

Ever since that time, the Theatre hath been consecrated to Love, and many a
pretty Girl, since the Sabines, hath owed the Loss of her Maidenhead to it.
Other Places of publick Meeting may likewise be frequented, as Horse
Races[16] and the Like. And especially public Shews, which never fail of
Women. Here get upon a crouded Scaffold, and sit next to the Girl you like.
Squeeze yourself as close to her as you can; for Custom here countenances
such squeezing whether the pretty Creatures will or no. Here find some
Opportunity to begin a Discourse; you will not be driven to talk upon your
Fingers, or by Signs, but may use your Tongue[B]. Begin then with News,
or the Chitchat of the Town. Nay, the Shew itself will afford a Subject: for
instance supposing it was my Lord Mayor's Shew, you may ask her what
Alderman that Coach, or those Liveries belong to; and be sure to admire the
same with herself: Do not omit moreover, to give her an early Intimation of
your Gallantry, and that you are a Woman's Man. If it should happen that
any one of the Aldermen should be a greater Cuckold than the rest of his
Brethren; take care to titter at his Appearance; and while the Pageants[17]
are passing by, endeavour to find out a Resemblance of Horns in some of
them. All those Things have a remote Tendency to this great point.
[Note B: These Verses are transposed from the Place in which they stand in
the Original, and this, I think, with Advantage to the Connection.]
If a Grain of Snuff should happen to fall on the Lady's Bosom, wipe it off
with your Fingers; and if none fall, wipe off that none. Take every
Opportunity to be as officious in her Service as possible. If she drop her Fan
or Gloves, presently take them up; for this you will have sure Reward in the
very Fact, for you may at the same time lift up her petticoat and see her
Legs.
Be careful that the Person who sits behind her doth not press her tender
Back with his Knee. Small Matters captivate light Minds. Many a Man hath
drawn considerable Advantage from handing[18] a Lady to Coach, by
gallanting her Fan, or even by taking up her Clog[19].
Nor will[20] Tower-hill, when the Tragic Scaffold is strewed with Saw-Dust,
be an improper Place to begin your Intrigue: for Cupid himself always
attends, and acts the Part of an Executioner on such Occasions; many a poor
Man having lost his Heart, while he hath attended to another's losing his

Head. While the Fair-One carelessly laying her Hand on his, argues
concerning the Criminal's Guilt, and offers to lay a Wager that he will die
well; the wounded Lover feels a sudden Stroke, and is not better able to
bear the Smart without a Sigh.
[21]If it was the Custom of England to imitate the Romans in insulting over
the Conquered, what Spectacles might have formerly been exhibited! How
many French Youths and Virgins might have followed the Chariot-Wheels
of our Monarchs! In that Cafe many a poor English Heart must have
submitted to a French Conquest, and Beauty would have been triumphant in
Chains. Nay, I prophesy we shall again see those victorious Times. Our
Mighty GEORGE now meditates new Triumphs, and France[22] shall be
punished as she ought. Rejoice, O ye Shades[23], whose Bodies lie buried in
the Plains of Fontenoy, where British Colours were polluted by Gallic
Hands. WILLIAM your Avenger comes. The General in him shone forth in
his first Campaign, and while a Youth, he managed War beyond his Years.
Let not his Age therefore deter us from ranking him among our greatest
Commanders. His Warlike Genius springs forth and outruns his Years,
impatient of the sluggish Pace of Time. The Swedish Charles[24] was scarce
beyond a Child when he crushed two mighty enemies at once; Charles[25]
the German Prince, yet but a Youth, what was he when he past the Rhine
and terrified the Host of France? Thy Father's Genius, WILLIAM, and his
Courage, shall inspire thy youthful Arms. With that Genius and that
Courage shalt thou conquer. Such Beginnings dost thou owe to the mighty
Name of thy illustrious Sire; that thou who art the Noblest of all young
Commanders mayst hereafter become the first among the old. 'Tis time to
avenge the Injuries attempted to thy House, and to maintain thy glorious
Father's Rights. Thy Country's Father and thy own, girts on thy Sword, and
thy Cause is no less glorious than thy Arms. In both is France inferiour, and
to both shall yield. I prophesy, that thou shalt conquer, and to thy Conquest
I dedicate my votive Prayers, prepared hereafter to resound thy Praise;
when we shall see thee, most lovely Prince, returning, thy Glories far
outshining the Gold in which thou art attired. Thee shall Crouds of Youths
and beauteous Virgins hail from their crouded Windows as thou passest, and
universal Joy shall overspread each British Face on that Blest Day.
If then, my Scholar, thou shouldst happen to be placed in a Window near
some lovely Girl, who, fired with the Glories of the young Conqueror,

should enquire into all his matchless Labours[26], his Wound at Dettingen;
his Danger and Intrepidity at Fontenoy; his Toils at home, in defiance of
Cold and Fatigue; his Pursuit to Carlisle; his Victory at Culloden; and many
more which will then be as well known; repeat all if thou canst, and if thy
Memory fails, go on nevertheless: for Invention cannot here outdo the
Reality, and thy Fictions shall recommend thee equal with Truth to her Ears.
Again, when thou dost sit down at table among the Women, thou may'st
reap other Pleasures besides those of Wine: For, to speak figuratively, Cupid
with glowing Cheeks often presses the Horns of Bacchus in his tender
Arms; and the Wings of the little God of Love being wetted with Wine, he
is unable to fly off: And if he happens to shake his wet Wings, he may
possibly sprinkle the Bosom of your Mistress with Love.
In more intelligible Language, Wine fills our Minds with Courage, and
makes them susceptible of other warm Passions. Care flies away, and is
dissolved in much Liquor. Then comes Laughter, the poor Man becomes
bold, and Grief and Solicitude, and knitted Brows vanish. Then it is that
Simplicity, a rare Virtue in our Age, opens our Hearts, Wine having divested
us of Cunning. At this Season, many a watchful young Fellow hath gained
the Heart of his Mistress[27]. And Love hath sprung from Wine, as the
Flame doth from Fire.
However, do not confide too much at this time to the Light of a Candle: for
Night and Wine obstruct us in forming a true Judgment of Beauty. Paris
beheld the Goddesses in open Daylight, when he gave the Preference to
Venus. Indeed by Candle-light, and in a Side-Box, almost every one is a
Beauty: Jewels, Clothes, and Women, are all best discerned by the Light of
the Sun.
And here if I should recount all the rural Haunts in which a Lover may find
his Game, I might write more Volumes than Oldmixon, Tunbridge, and
Scarborough, and Cheltenham, and Holt, and many other Places shall be
therefore omitted; but, Bath[28], thy sulphurous Waters must not be past by.
Hence Master Dapperwit bringing home the Wounds made by fair Eyes in
his Bosom, cries out, on his Return, The Waters are not so wholesome as
they are reported; I have received more Harm than Good at the Place.

Here rises the Temple[29] of the God (CNASH) whose Walls are hung round
with the Portraits of Beauties. The Apotheosis of this God hath cost many a
poor Man his Heart.
Thus far, my Scholar, I have endeavoured to instruct thee in what Places
thou art to hunt for thy Game, and where to spread thy Net. I will now
proceed to shew thee by what Means Puss is to be taken, when you have
found her Sitting.
Mind all, as my old Schoolmaster used to say; for I assure you my
instructions will be worthy the Attention of both the Great Vulgar and the
Small.
My first Lesson then is: Be confident. Believe every Woman is to be come
at. Do but spread your Net, and I warrant she runs into it.
Sooner shall the Birds be silent in the Spring, or the Frogs in the Winter:
Sooner shall the Greyhound run away from the Hare, than a Woman shall
resist the Youth who gently assails her. Though she skrews up her Face ever
so demurely, she will at length yield to his Persuasions.
A dark Corner is as agreeable to a Girl, as to one of us, though we cannot so
well dissemble our Desires as she can; but if we should once enter into a
Confederacy against the Sex to leave off courting them, they would soon
begin to act the Part of Lovers, and come a wooing to us.
And what is this but a natural Affection, common to the Females of every
other Species, who often make love to the Males? And give me leave to tell
the Ladies, that we are more able to command our Affections, nor are our
Desires so furious, and exceeding all Bounds, as theirs.
The Story of Byblis[30] is too well known to be related, who being in love
with her Brother, punished her Crime with her own Hands, and hanged
herself in her Garters.
Miss Myrrha[31] loved her Papa with an Affection improper for a Daughter;
for which she was turned into a Tree. I do assure you the Story is true; and
the Tree now drops continual Tears for her Offence, which we use as a
Perfume; and they retain the Lady's Name.

In the shady Valleys of Ida[32], there was a white Bull, which was the Glory
of the Farmer to whom he belonged. This Bull had a beautiful black Speck
between his Horns, all the rest of his Body being as white as Milk. With
him the Gnossian and Cydonian Heifers were all in love, and eagerly
longed to be embraced by him in the tenderest manner in which Bulls
embrace the Fair Sex of Cows. Pasiphaë, I am very sorry to say it,
conceived a Passion worse, if possible, than that of Mrs. Mary Hamilton,
for this Bull. Lady —— is not more envied in the Drawing-Room than was
every handsome Heifer by this unfortunate Woman. The Story is so well
known that there is not a Freethinker[33] in the Age who can refuse his
Credit to it, though they believe nothing which they cannot see and account
for. This poor Girl is reported to have mowed the sweetest Grass with her
own Hands for her beloved Bull. She likewise wandered about among the
Cows, without the least Regard to Mr. Alderman. Minos her Husband; for a
Bull had totally supplanted him in her Esteem. Alas! Pasiphaë, to what
purpose are the brocaded Petticoats? Your Gallant is not sensible of your
Finery. Why do you consult your Looking-Glass, in order to pursue the
Mountain-Herds? Or why with so much Art do you set your Tête? If you
will consult your Glass, let it inform you you are no Heifer. Ah! how
desirous are you to have those Horns on your own Forehead, which you
intend to graft on your Husband's! It would be better to preserve your
Virtue, and be constant to the Alderman, if you can like him: But if you
must make a Cuckold of him, do it at least with a young Fellow. No;
nothing but a Bull will suffice. She leaves the Alderman's House, and flies
away to the Groves and Mountains. To say the truth, I believe she used to
drink away her Senses; and that is the best Excuse for her. Ah! how often
hath she cast a jealous Eye on some Heifer! and cried out, Why should that
vixen please my Love? Behold, says she, how the Slut dances a Minuet on
the Grass before him: Let me die, but she is silly enough to think her Airs
become her in my Love's Eyes. At length she resolved to punish her Rivals.
One Heifer she ordered barbarously to be yoked to the Plough; another she
condemned to be sacrificed, and held the Entrails of the poor Victim in her
Hand with all the insulting Triumph of a Rival: Now, says she, having the
Entrails in her Hand, now go and make yourself agreeable to my Dear. At
one time she wishes to be Europa[34], at another Io: for one of these was
herself the Wife of a Bull, and the other made her Horse of one.

Filled with these Thoughts, she contrived the strangest Method of
compleating her Desires. She sent for a Joiner of great Ingenuity, and
ordered him to make her a large Cow of Wood. Into this she conveyed
herself, and thus deceived Master Bull into her Embraces.
She conceived by this monstrous Coition, and brought forth an Offspring,
which by his partaking equally of the human and taurine Form, betrayed her
horrid Passion.
If the Cretan Lady[35] had abstained from the Love of Thyestes, (O! how
Women disdain Constancy to their Husbands!) the Sun had not stopt in the
middle of his Career, and turned about his Face to the East, that he might
avoid the bloody Banquet. God be praised! the Cuckolds of our Age are not
so bloody in their Revenge.
The Daughter of Nisus[36], who stole her Papa's Hair, feeds hungry Dogs in
those Parts which first set her a longing for Minos.
Agamemnon, after returning safe from so many bloody Campaigns, and
from the dangerous Seas which he crossed, fell at last a dreadful Victim to
the Whore his Wife[37].
Who hath not wept at the sad Story of Creüsa? consumed by the Flames of
a Sorceress, who afterwards drenched her Hands in the Blood of her own
Children[38].
Phoenix[39], the Son of Amyntor, hath often paid many a Tear for his
Amours, though he had not the wretched Fate of Hippolytus[40], to be torn
in pieces by wild Horses.
And thou, O Phineus[41]! why dost thou indulge that Jade Harpalice by
digging out the Eyes of thy Children? Believe me, Divine Vengeance will
hereafter inflict the same Punishment on thyself.
All these have been the Effects of Women's raging Desires, which are so
much more violent and mad than ours.
Come on then, and doubt not the Conquest of any Girl whatever: there is
not one in a thousand who will deny you.

And even those who will deny you, love to be put to the Question; if you
are disappointed therefore, your Repulse will be attended with no Danger.
But why should you apprehend any Disappointment, when every new
Amour pleases them, and they all hanker after the Lovers and Husbands of
other Women?
This I am afraid is too natural in all things. The Corn in our Neighbour's
Field seems always to flourish beyond our own, and we think our own Cow
gives less Milk than his.
However, before you attack any Lady, make first sure of her Maid; for she
will pave the Way to your Addresses.
If the Lady have many Females about her Person, take care to secure her
who is most in the Confidence of her Mistress; and who will faithfully
betray to you all her private Conversation.
When you have found this Confidant out, corrupt her with Promises and
Intreaties; for she can soon bring you to the End of your Desires, if she
pleases.
Let her watch the Opportunity, (Physicians will tell you the Use of
attending proper Seasons) when the Mind of your Mistress is easy, and apt
for your Purpose.
This Season, I apprehend, is when she is in the best Humour; for Love then
becomes luxuriant in her Mind, as Corn doth in a rich Soil.
When the Heart is full of Gladness, and bound up by no Vexation, it is
open; and then the Compliments of a Lover will easily find an Admission.
Remember, Troy was defended while it remained in a sullen Mood, and
opened its Gates to the armed Horse, when it was full of Good-Humour,
and drunk with Joy.
Yet every Vexation should not deter you; for if your Mistress should be
uneasy at the Falshood of her Husband, then is a proper time to attack her,
and to assist her in revenging the Injury.

When your Mistress is in this Humour, let Abigail while combing her Hair
at the Toilette in a Morning, stir her up to Vengeance. This will under-hand
promote your Voyage; for while you openly manage your Sails, she works
under the Water with her Oars.
Now let Abigail with a soft Sigh mutter to her self: Ah! poor Lady, I am
afraid it is not in your power alone to revenge your Husband's Perfidy!
Then let her introduce a Discourse of you; let her say something in your
Favour, and swear that you are gone distracted and dying for Love.
But no Time must be lost; lest the Passions she hath raised should again
subside; and Resentment intervene by Delay, and freeze up her Love as Ice
doth Water.
And here perhaps you will ask a Question, Whether it is prudent to kiss the
Agent herself. This is not easy to answer: for it is a mere Cast of the Dye,
whether you succeed the better of the worse for it.
One Woman is by Enjoyment made a more industrious Solicitor, another
becomes just the reverse. One thinks of procuring the Pleasures she hath
tasted for her Mistress, another of securing them herself.
The Event is doubtful; and though she may be easy enough to be had, my
Advice is, abstain from the Confidant; for I will not imitate the Empyric in
striking bold Strokes; nor will I lead my Scholars over a Precipice. I give no
Advice but what is safe, nor shall any Youth by following my Precepts run
himself into Rosamond's Pond.
If therefore the Girl who goes between you and your Mistress, pleases you
in her Person as well as in her Diligence; enjoy the Mistress first, and the
Maid falls of course; but never begin with the latter.
One thing however I must admonish you, (if my Art deserves any Credit,
and my Words are to be regarded as any thing better than Wind) EITHER
NEVER ATTEMPT THE CONFIDANT, OR GO THOROUGH STITCH
WITH HER: for by making her particeps criminis you take away her
Evidence.

This Doctrine you may learn from all other Sportsmen: for if a Bird escapes
with Birdlime on his Wings, or a Boar breaks through the Toils, or a Fish
gets off from the Hook; they are all sure to alarm their Companions, and
spoil the Sport of the Fowler, the Hunter, or the Fisher. If once therefore
you attempt her, press her to it with all your Vigour, and never leave her till
you have enjoyed her.
For when once she is involved in the same Guilt with yourself, you are sure
she will not betray you. Nay, you may be assured further, that she will
betray every Word and Action of her Mistress to you.
But take particular care not to blab any of the Secrets she discloses to you:
for while her Mistress hath no Suspicion of her Confidant, she will be able
to lay her entirely open to your Knowledge.
And now, to resume that Matter, believe me, he is deceived, who thinks that
none but the Farmer and Mariner are obliged to regard the Season: for as it
is not proper at all times to commit the Corn to the fallacious Fields, nor to
trust your Vessel at all times to the green Ocean; so neither is it always safe
to attack a tender Girl, for she will be taken at one time who will resist at
another. If it be for instance her Birth-day[42], perhaps, her Grandmother
hath instructed her to be particularly cautious on that day; so if it be the Day
of the Week on which Childermas hath happened to fall that Year; or King
Charles's Martyrdom: defer the attack at all such Seasons. For to speak in
Sea-Language, then is dirty Weather[43], then it blows a Hurricane; and if
you weigh Anchor at that Season, you will be scarce able to keep your keel
downwards.
Above all avoid your Mistress's Birth-day; nor will it be more prudent in
you to visit her first on the Morning of Valentine's Day[44], you will pay
more for being her Valentine than it is worth. Indeed all Seasons which give
them any Hint of receiving Presents should be carefully avoided: for be
never so cautious and sneaking, have it of you she will. They all very well
know the Art of squeezing a Lover who longs to squeeze them.
Mr.[C] Deards will make his Appearance in his Silk Night-Gown, and
unbundle his Packet in your Presence. The Lady will then desire you to look
over his Trinkets, (she can do no less, you know, in Compliment to your

Taste:) then she will make you a Present of a Kiss, and afterwards desire
you to buy it.
[Note C: An eminent Joyner in London.]
"I promise you, my Dear," says she, "if you will but buy me this single
Jewel, I will not ask another of you the Lord knows how long; but I have
really a present Occasion for this, and besides it is the cheapest Thing I ever
saw."
If you pretend to have no Money about you, the Answer is, O, my Dear, you
may give your Note: Mr. Deards will take your Note. So that you may
repent having learnt to write your Name. Then she adds, O la, I had almost
forgot, it is my Birth-day, I am sure you will make me a Present on my
Birth-day: for they can be born every Day in the Year to serve their
Purpose. Or else she pretends to have lost a Drop from her Ear-Ring; this
Loss makes her miserable, and sure, says she, if you loved me, you would
repair that Loss.
Nay, some are not so honest as to desire a Present, they only borrow; but
they are sure never to restore. By this Means you lose the Thing, without
having the Merit of bestowing it.
In short, if I had ten Mouths, with ten Tongues in each, all would not suffice
to display all the Arts by which Harlots pick the Pockets of their Cullies.
Begin then your Amour with an Epistle; let that break the Ice for you, and
make the first Discovery of your Flame.
In this you may insert all your little Blandishments, and Expressions of
Fondness, nor be ashamed, however high your Quality is, to add the
strongest Entreaties.
Remember that many a Rebel's Son hath had his Life spared at the
Supplication of his Father; nay, the Wrath of Heaven itself is often averted
by Prayer.
It is moreover my Advice to you, to be liberal of your Promises; for what
Injury can you receive by Promising? This is a Treasure in which any Man
may be rich.

Nor can your Mistress complain that she is absolutely cheated, if you can
bring her to believe your Promises. A lifely Faith hath supported many a
Man for a long Time: For though our Faith may sometimes deceive us, it is
however a great and commodious Virtue.
Beware of giving: For when once your Mistress hath the Present in her
Clutches, she may answer jilting you to her Prudence. She hath gained at
least what she is in possession of, and cannot be said to have lost any thing
by the Bargain.
On the contrary, keep her still in Expectation. Seem always about to give,
but never part with a Shilling: For in this Manner doth a barren Soil often
deceive its Owner. Thus, that he may not be a Loser, the Gamester pushes
on his ill Luck, and one flattering Throw makes him eager to have the Box
again in his Hands.
Indeed the great Business is to enjoy your Mistress before she hath touched
you. If she once yield to you gratis, she will continue to bestow her Favours
still gratis, in Hopes of being at last rewarded for all her past Favours.
Epistolize therefore first; flatter and sooth her with tender Lines. Let these
probe her Mind, and open the Way for your Addresses.
You know the Story of Cydippe[45], who was outwitted by a Letter inclosed
in an Apple; by which Means she was made to speak Words she never
intended.
I would advise the young Gentlemen of the Temple, to study the Arts of
Persuasion, on other Accounts, besides that of defending Sheep-stealers at
an Assizes: For a pretty Girl may be as easily captivated by Eloquence, as a
Judge or Jury; and surely she is a much nobler Prize.
But here conceal your Art, and do not carry your Eloquence in your Face:
And above all Things, beware of hard Words; for who but an empty
Coxcomb ever made a verbose Declamation to his Mistress? By such
Methods you may raise her Abhorrence more probably than her Love.
Let your Passion appear credible, and disclose it in easy and common
Language; it may be as tender and warm as you please; but preserve the
Stile of Conversation.

If she should not receive your Letter, but send it back unopened, hope for
better Success another Time, and maintain your Purpose.
Time brings the Stubborn Steer to bend his Neck to the Yoke, and the Horse
to endure the Bridle.
Iron Bonds and Ploughshares are worn out by constant Use. What is harder
than a Rock? or what is softer than Water? And yet hard Rocks are
hollowed by soft Water.
Penelope herself in Time might have been conquered. You see Troy, though
it defended itself so long, was however taken at last.
If she reads your Letters, but is unwilling to answer them, do not attempt to
compel her. If she but reads your Fondness, it is sufficient.
If she will read, in Time she will answer what she reads. All these Matters
will be brought about in their own good Time.
Perhaps the first Answer she sends you will be a cruel one, and may desire
you to quit all future Solicitations.
She fears to be taken at her Word, and hopes you will not grant her Request.
Follow her, and in Time you will obtain your Wishes.
If you meet her Chair, and the Curtains should be drawn, approach it as it
were by Accident; and when you discover her there, whisper something
tender in her Ear; but whisper softly, lest the Chairman, or any other
impertinent Person, should over-hear you.
When she walks in the Mall, dangle after her, and interrupt her Walk with
your Conversation.
Here you will have an Opportunity of seeing her Shape, and shewing her
yours, by sometimes walking behind, and sometimes before her.
But for the most Part keep even pace with her, whether she trips along
briskly, or only saunters.
Sometimes she will take a longer Walk, as far perhaps as the second or
Third Stone. Hither follow her, and take every Opportunity of getting up

close to her Side.
Never let her go to the Play without attending her: No Matter what the Play
is, she will bring sufficient Entertainment for you with her.
Here keep your Eyes always intent on her only, and admire every Thing
about her. By your Eyes, and by Signs, you may inform her of many
Things.
Be sure to applaud greatly any amorous wanton Dance; and be no less
favourable to those Scenes where the Business of Love is transacted, and
almost brought to a Conclusion on the Stage: Many of which occur in
Congreve, Vanbrugh, and Wycherly.
If she rises between the Acts, rise also; if she sits, as sometimes Ladies do,
to express their Contempt for the Audience, do you likewise keep your Seat.
In a Word, conduct yourself entirely according to her Example and
Pleasure.
Now with regard to your Person: Do not imitate some finical Petit Matre in
his Toupet, much less in more detestable Effeminacies.
Tuck your Hair rather under your Hat, like the rough Fox-hunter, who
traverses Hill and Dale to the Musick of the Horn.
A careless Air in Dress becomes a Man. Colonel Theseus[46] carried off
Miss Ariadne in a Campaign Wig without a single Curl in it.
In the same Manner did Captain Hippolytus march off with Miss Phaedra,
though his Shock Head of Hair never had any Powder in it: nay, Lady Venus
herself chose young Jack Adonis in a Jockey Coat and Buckskin Breeches.
Cleanliness however is agreeable: Let your Face be burnt with the Sun; but
let your Cloaths be well made, and without a Spot on them.
Wash your Mouth, and clean your Teeth often; let your Beard be close
shaved, and your Nails short and free from Dirt.
Observe these Documents, and leave all other Niceties to the Women, and
to Men who desire to supply their Places.

But now Bacchus summons his Poet. He likewise assists Lovers, and
favours the Flame which warms himself.
The Cretan Lady having jumped out of Bed in a raving Fit, wandered on
the foreign Shore of Dia. She had nothing on but a loose wrapping Gown,
without Stockings or Cap: and her Hair hung dishevelled over her
Shoulders. She complained of the Cruelty of Theseus to the deep Waves,
whilst an unworthy Shower of Tears ran down her Cheeks. She wept, and
lamented aloud, and both became her; nor did her Tears diminish her
Beauty. Once, and again, she beat her delicious Breasts with her Hands, and
cried aloud, The perfidious Man hath abandoned me; What will become of
poor Ariadne? What will become of poor Ariadne? On a sudden a vast
Multitude was heard, while many Kinds of strange Instruments, like those
of the miserable Masons, accompanied the Voices. The poor Lady sunk with
Fear; and suppressed her last Words; nor did the least Blood remain in her
Countenance. And now behold the Bacchanalian Women, with their Hair
about their Ears, and the light Satyrs, who are always Forerunners of the
God. Behold old Master Silenus[47] as drunk as a Piper, riding on an Ass,
which he is hardly able either to sit or guide. The old Gentleman,
endeavouring to follow the Bacchanalians, who fly from him and towards
him, sets Spurs to his Ass, which being a vicious Beast, kicked up, and
threw him over his Ears: upon which all the Satyrs set up a loud Shout,
crying out, Rise, Father, rise and be d——nd to you. And now the God
himself, high mounted on his Four-Wheel Chaise, the Top of which was
adorned with Grapes, and which he drove himself, flung his Golden Reins
over the Backs of his Pair of Tygers. Poor Ariadne's Colour forsook her
Cheeks, and Theseus and her Voice at once deserted her Lips. Thrice she
attempted to fly, and thrice being retained, she grew stiff with Fear, and
stood trembling as Corn waves in the Field, or Reeds on the River Bank,
when fanned by the Wind. To whom the God; Behold, Madam, a more
faithful Lover at your Feet: Fear nothing, Lady fair, you shall be the Wife of
Bacchus. The Sky shall be your Dowry, where shining in a bright
Constellation, by the Name of Ariadne's Crown, you shall often direct the
doubtful Mariner's Passage. He said; and leaping from his Chariot, lest
Ariadne should be afraid of the Tygers, the Sand sunk under the Weight of
his Feet; and catching her instantly in his Arms, he carried her, who was
incapable of scratching, directly off; (for every Thing, we know, is in the

Power of a Deity:) And now, whilst Part of his Train sing the Hymenaeum,
and other cry Evie Evoe, two very mysterious Words, and full of Masonry,
the God and his new-ravished Bride go together, between a Pair of sacred
Sheets.
Whenever therefore you happen to be in Company with a pretty Girl over a
Bottle, pray heartily to Bacchus, and invoke his nocturnal Rites, that the
Wine may not get into your Head. You may now take an Opportunity to
toast some Nymph by a fictitious Name, of whom you may say an hundred
amorous Things; all which, with the least Assistance, she will readily apply
to herself. Double Entendres likewise may be used. You may moreover
draw certain Figures in Wine on the Table; and after having spoken of your
Mistress in the third Person, you may take this Method of writing her
Name, and convincing her, that she herself is the Goddess.
But let your gloating Eyes inform her of your Passion: for an expressive
Countenance often finds both Words and Utterance.
When she drinks, receive the Cup from her; and let her see you industrious
to find out the Place before pressed by her Lips; and then drink eagerly at
the same.
And whatever Part of the Meat she shall touch with her Fingers, do not fail
to give the Preference to that: if in catching at it, you touch her Hand into
the Bargain, it is the better.
But above all Things, let it be your Endeavour to please her Keeper, if she
have any: For to make a Friend of him will be very useful to you both.
When you are at Table, let him be always helped first, and to the most
elegant Tid-Bit; and when you drink together, offer him always the Place of
Toast-maker; whether he be your Inferiour or your Equal, let him always
choose before you, and be not ashamed to trowel him well over with
Flattery.
It is a safe and common Way to deceive under Pretence of Friendship; I
must own, however safe and common it is, it is not altogether blameless.
This is indeed a Dishonesty not very unlike that of a Major Domo, who
under the Colour of Friendship empties your Cellars of your Wine, by

pushing the Bottle further than is necessary.
Now to fix a certain Stint to your Cups, I allow you never to drink till your
Head becomes giddy, and your Feet begin to totter.
Beware of Quarrels, which are often occasioned by Wine. Let not your
Hands be too ready to strike in your Cups.
Remember the old Story of the Wedding of Pyrothous[48] and many more
where drunken Fools by being quarrelsome in their Liquor have come short
home. A Drinking Bout is in Reality a properer Scene for Joke and Mirth,
than for Fighting.
I proceed to other Lessons[49]. If you have a Voice, then sing; if you have
handsome Legs, cut Capers, or slide into the Minuet Step. In short,
endeavour to please your Mistress, by exerting those Talents in which
Nature hath given you to excel.
Now, as real Drunkenness may be hurtful to you, so you may sometimes
reap Advantages by pretending yourself in Liquor, by Stammering or
Lisping a little slyly: For then if you should descend to some Expressions of
the grosser Kind, it will be imputed to your having taken a Cup too much.
Drink Bumpers to the Health of your Mistress, and of the Gentleman with
whom she is obliged to sleep; but I do not insist on your being extremely
sincere on this Occasion: for you may heartily wish him hanged at the same
Time, if you please.
When the Company rises to go away, there is always a Confusion in the
Room, of which you may take Advantage. You may then creep close up to
your Mistress, may perhaps palm her, and gently tread on her Toes.
Whenever you have an Opportunity of speaking to her privately, be not
bashful like a Country Boobily Squire. Remember Fortune and Love both
favour the Bold.
I do not intend to lay down any Rules for your Oratory on this Occasion.
Do but begin boldly, and you will be Eloquent of course: Set this only
before you, that you are to act the Part of a Lover, to talk of Wounds and
Darts, and Dying and Despair, and all that, as Mr. Bayes says: For if you

can once make her believe you are in Love, your Business is done. To
create therefore this Faith in her, you must employ every Art of which you
are Master.
Nor is this indeed so difficult a Task: For every Woman believes herself to
be the Object of Love; be she never so ugly, she is still amiable in her own
Eye.
Sometimes indeed no Deceit is in the End put on the Woman, for her
pretended Lover becomes often a real one, and is the very Creature which
he before personated.
And by the Way, young Ladies, let me tell you this is no small
Encouragement to you, to countenance such Pretences; for if you manage
well, you may often inspire a Man with Love in Earnest, while he is
endeavouring to impose a fictitious Passion upon you.
But to return to my Scholars. Flatter with all your Might: for the Mind is
taken as it were by Stealth, by Flattery, even as the Bank which hangs over
a River is undermined by the liquid Waves.
Never be weary therefore of commending her Face, or her Hair; her taper
Arm, or her pretty little Foot.
The chastest Matrons are fond of hearing the Praises of their Beauty; and
the purest Virgins make the Charms of their Persons at once their Business
and their Pleasure.
What else is meant by that ancient Fable of Juno and Pallas, whom the
Greek Poets represent as yet ashamed of the Conquest obtained by Venus.
This Vanity seems to extend itself to Animals, in many of which we may
observe some Traces of it.
The peacock, if you seem to admire her, spreads forth her Golden Plumes,
which she never displays to an indifferent Spectator.
The Race-Horse, while he is running for a Plate, enjoys the Beauties of his
well-combed Mane, and gracefully turned Neck.

Secondly, to Flattery, add Promises, and those not timorous nor sneaking
ones. If a Girl insists upon a Promise of Marriage, give it her, and bind it by
many Oaths[D]; for no Indictment lies for this sort of Perjury.
The Antients vented horrid Impieties on this Occasion, and introduced
Jupiter shaking his Sides at the Perjuries of Lovers, and ordering the Winds
to puff them away: Nay, he is said to have forsworn himself even by Styx to
Juno: and therefore, say they, he encourages Men to follow his Example.
[Note D: This is the most exceptionable Passage in the whole Work. We
have endeavoured to soften it as much as possible; but even as it now
stands, we cannot help expressing Detestation of this Sentiment, which
appears shocking even in a Heathen Writer.]
But though a Christian must not talk in this Manner, yet I believe it may be
one of those Sins which the Church of Rome holds to be venial, or rather
venal.
I would here by no Means be suspected of Infidelity or Profaneness. It is
necessary there should be a God; and therefore we must believe there is;
nay, we must worship him: For he doth not possess himself in that indolent
State in which the Deities of Epicurus are depictured. If we live innocent
Lives, we may depend on the Care of his Providence.
Restore faithfully whatever is deposited in your Hands: Be just in all your
Contracts: Avoid all Kind of Fraud, and be not polluted with Blood. A wise
Man will be a Rogue only among the Girls: For in all other Articles a
Gentleman will be ashamed of breaking his Word.
And what is this more than deceiving the Deceivers? The Sex are for the
greatest Part Impostors; let them therefore fall in the Snares which they
have spread for others.
Perhaps you have never read the Justice of Busiris; when Egypt was burnt
up Nine Years together for want of Rain, one Thrasius a Foreigner came to
Court, and being introduced to the King by Clementius Cotterelius, he
acquainted his Majesty, that Jupiter was to be propitiated by the Blood of a
Stranger. The King Answered him, Then thou thyself shalt be the first
Victim, and with thy foreign Blood shalt give Rain to Egypt.

To the same Purpose is the Story of Phalaris, who roasted the Limbs of
Perillus in his own Bull: Thus making Proof of the Goodness of the Work
by the Torments of the unhappy Maker.
Now there was great Justice in both these Examples; for nothing can be
more equitable than that the Inventers of Cruelty should perish by their own
Art.
To apply this to our present Purpose: As there is no Deceit or Perjury which
Women will stick at putting in use against us, let them lament the
Consequence of their own Examples.
Thirdly, Tears are of great Service. The Proverb tells you, Tears will move
Adamant. If you can bring it about therefore, let your Mistress see your
Cheeks a little blubbered upon Occasion.
If Tears should refuse to come (as they sometimes will) an Onion in your
Handkerchief will be of great use.
Fourthly, Kisses. What Lover of any Sense doth not mix Kisses with his
tender Expressions! Perhaps she will not give them easily: No Matter, take
them without her Leave.
Perhaps she will scratch, and say you are rude: Notwithstanding her
Scratches, she will be pleased with your getting the better.
Do this, however, in so gentle a Manner, that you may not hurt her tender
Lips; nor let her complain of being scrubbed with your Beard.
Now when you have proceeded to Kisses, if you proceed no farther, you
may well be called unworthy of what you have hitherto obtained. When you
was at her Lips, how near was you to your Journey's End! If therefore you
stop there, you rather deserve the Name of a bashful 'Squire than of a
modest Man.
The Girls may call this perhaps Violence; but it is a Violence agreeable to
them: For they are often desirous of being pleased against their Will: For a
Woman taken without her Consent, notwithstanding her Frowns, is often
well satisfied in her Heart, and your Impudence is taken as a Favour; whilst

she who, when inclined to be ravished, hath retreated untouched, however
she may affect to smile, is in reality out of Humour.
Ravishing is indeed out of Fashion in this Age; and therefore I am at a Loss
for modern Examples; but antient Story abounds with them.
Miss[50] Phoebe and her Sister were both ravished, and both were well
pleased with the Men who ravished them.
Though the Story of Deidamia was formerly in all the Trojan News-Papers,
yet my Reader may be pleased to see it better told.
Venus had now kept her Word to Paris, and given him the Beauty she had
promised, not as a Bribe, but as a Gratification for his having made an
Award in her Favour, in the famous Cause between Juno and others against
Venus, in Trover for a Golden Apple; which was referred to him at the
Assizes at Ida.
Paris, every one knows, no sooner had received Mrs. Helen, than he
immediately carried her off to his Father's Court.
Upon this the Grecians entered into an Association; and several Noblemen
raised Regiments at their own Expence, out of their Regard to the Public:
For Cuckoldom was a public Cause, no one knowing whose Turn it would
be next.
Lieutenant-General Achilles, who was to command a large Body of
Grenadiers, which the Greeks call Myrmidons, did not behave handsomely
on that Occasion, though he got off afterwards at a Court-Martial by
pleading, that his Mother (who had a great deal in her own Power) had
insisted on his acting the Part he did; for, I am ashamed to say, he dressed
himself in Women's Clothes, and hid himself at the House of one
Lycomedes, a Man of good Fortune in those parts.
Fie upon it, General, I am ashamed to see you sit quilting among the Girls;
a Sword becomes your Hands much better than a Needle.
What can you mean by that Work-Basket in a Hand by which Count Hector
is to fall? Do you carry that Basket with you to put his Head in?

For Shame then, cast away your Huswife, and all those effeminate Trinkets
from a Fist able to wield Harry the Fifth's Sword.
It happened, that at the same Time when the General, at the House of
'Squire Lycomedes, performed this Feat, Miss Deidamia, one of the Maids
of Honour, was visiting at the same Place. This young Lady soon
discovered that the General was a Man; for indeed he got her Maidenhead.
He ravished her, that is the Truth on't; that a Gentleman ought to believe, in
Favour of the Lady: But he may believe the Lady was willing enough to be
ravished at the same Time.
When the General threw away his Needle, and grasped the Armour, (you
must remember the Story, for it was in the Trojan Alamain) the young Lady
began to change her Note, and to hope he would not forsake her so.
Ah! little Mia! is this the Violence you complained of? Is this the Ravisher
you are afraid of? Why with that gentle Voice do you solicite the Author of
your Dishonour to stay with you?
To come at once to the Moral of my Story; as they are ashamed to make the
first Advances, so they are ready to suffer whatever a pushing Man can do
unto them.
As for those pretty Master-Misses, the Adonis's of the Age, who confide in
their own Charms, and desire to be courted by the Girls; believe me, they
will stay long enough before they are asked the Question.
If you are a Man, make the first Overtures: Remember, it is the Man's Part
to address the Fair; and it will be her's to be tenderly won.
Be bold then, and put the Question; she desires no more than to have the
Question put; and sure you will not deny your own Wishes that Favour.
Jupiter himself went a courting to the Heroines of old: For I never heard of
any Girl who courted him.
But if you find Madam gives herself any immoderate Airs at your Proposal,
it will then be good to recede a little from your Undertaking, and to affect to
sheer off: For many of them, according to the Poet,

Pursue what flies, and fly what doth pursue.

A short Absence will soon cure her Disdain.
It may be proper likewise to conceal your intentions a little at first, and
make your first Advance under the Pretence of Platonic Friendship.
I have known many a Prude taken under these false Colours; and the
Platonic Friend hath soon become a happy Lover.
And now as to your Complexion; for believe me, this is a Matter of some
Consequence: Though I would not have you effeminate, yet I would have
you delicate.
A fair Complexion in a Tar is scandalous, and looks more like a Borough
Captain or one of those fresh-water Sailors, who have so much dishonoured
our Navy. The Skin of a Seaman ought to be rough, and well battered with
Winds and Waves.
Such likewise ought to be the Face of a Fox-hunter, who ought not to fear
Rain or Easterly Winds: And the fame becomes the Soldier.
But let the Soldier of Venus look fair and delicate; nay, if your Complexion
inclines to Paleness, so much the better; for this will be imputed by every
young Girl to Love.
Young Orion[51] with a pale Countenance wandered through the Groves,
being sick with the Love of Lyrice: And the same Effect had the Love of
Naïs upon the Countenance of Daphnis[52]; two Lovers very famous in
Antiquity.
Leanness is another Token of a Lover; to obtain which, you need not take
Physick; sitting up all Night; and writing Love-Letters, will bring this
about.
Be sure to look as miserable as possible; so that every one who sees you,
may cry, There goes a Lover.
And here shall I lament the Wickedness of Mankind, or only simply observe
it to you? But in Reality all Friendship and Integrity are nothing more than
Names.

Alas! It is dangerous to be too prodigal in the Praises of your Mistress, even
to your Friend; for if he believes you, he becomes your Rival.
It is true there are some old Stories of faithful Friends: Patroclus never
made a Cuckold of Achilles; and Phaedra's Chastity was never attempted
by Pirithous.
Pylades loved Hermions, who was his Friend's Wife; but it was with the
pure Love of a Brother: And the same Fidelity did Castor preserve towards
his Twin-Brother Pollux.
But if you expect to find such Instances in these degenerate Days, you may
as well have Faith enough to expect a Pine-Apple from a Pear-Tree, or to
hope to fill your Bottle with Burgundy from the River.
I am afraid we are grown so bad, that Iniquity itself gives a Relish to our
Pleasures; and every Man is not only addicted to his Pleasures, but those are
the sweeter, when season'd with another's Pain.
It is in short a terrible Case, that a Lover ought to fear his Friend more than
his Enemy. Beware of the former, and you are safe.
Beware of your Cousin, and your Brother, and your dear and intimate
Companions. These are the Sort of Gentry, from whom you are to
apprehend most Danger.
Here I intended to have finished; but one Rule more suggests itself.
You are to note then, that there is a great Variety in the Tempers of Women;
for a thousand different Women are to be wooed a thousand different Ways.
Mr. Miller will tell you, that the same kind of Soil is not proper for all
Fruits. One produces good Carrots, another Potatoes, and a third Turneps.
Now there is as great a Variety of Disposition in the human Mind, as there
are Forms in the World: For which Reason a Politician is capable of
accommodating himself to innumerable Kinds of Tempers: Not Proteus
could indeed diversify himself more Ways than he can.
Nay you may learn this Lesson from every Fisherman; for some Fish are to
be taken with one Bait, and some with another; others will scarce bite at
any, but are however to be drawn out of the Water by a Net.

One good Caution under this Head, is to consider the Age of your Mistress:
Old Birds are not taken with Chaff; and an old Hare will be sure to double.
Again, consider Circumstances. Do not frighten an ignorant Woman with
Learning, nor a poor Country Girl with your fine Cloathes; for by these
Means you will create in them too great an Awe of you. Many a Girl hath
run away frighted from the Embraces of the Master, and afterwards fallen
into the Clutches of his Footman.
And here we will now cast our Anchor, having finished the first Part of our
intended Voyage.

FINIS

FOOTNOTES
[1] Here Ovid uses the Examples of Automedon, who was the Coachman of Achilles; and of Tiphys,
who was Pilot or Steersman to the Argonauts.
[2] This is a literal Translation; by which it appears this barbarous Custom of whipping Boys on the
Hands, till they look as if they had the Itch, was used by the Roman Schoolmasters as well as by ours.
[3] The Original introduces Achilles, who was the pupil of Chiron.
[4] In the Original,—held forth at his Master's Commands those Hands to be whipt, which Hector
was hereafter to feel. The Indelicacy of which Image we have avoided applying to our British Hero.
[5] Both born of a Goddess.
[6] This is transferred, we hope not improperly from Roman to British Superstition. The Latin alludes
to Augury, and very justly ridicules the Folly of Divination by the Flight of Birds.
[7] Nor were Clio or her Sisters seen by me, while I tended a Flock in the Valleys of Ascra. This
Ascra was a Valley near the Helicon, which was the Residence of the Parents of Hesiod. Now Hesiod
was fabled, whilst he was keeping his Father's Sheep, to have been led by the Muse to the Fountain
Hippocrene; and being, I suppose, well ducked in that Water, commenced Poet.
[8] This whole Passage is a manifest Burlesque on the Invocations with which the Ancients began
their Poems. Not very different is that Sneer at the Beginning of the Metamorphosis,

—— Dii, caeptis, (NAM VOS MUTASTIS ET ILLAS)
Adspirate ——

But the strongest Piece of Burlesque of this kind is the Invocation to Venus at the Beginning of
Lucretius: For what can be more so than a solemn Application to a Deity for her Assistance in a
Work, the professed Intention of which is to expose the Belief of any Deity at all; and more
particularly of any Concern which such superior Beings might be supposed to take in the Affairs of
Men. For my own part, I must confess, I cannot perceive that graceful Air of Enthusiasm which a
noble Author observes in the Invocation of the Antients; many of them indeed seem to have been too
apparently in jest, to endeavour to impose on their Readers, and in reality to apply to the Muses with
less Devotion than our modern Poets, many of whom perhaps believe as much in those Deities as in
any other.
[9] Ovid would here insinuate, that the Courtezans only were the Subjects of the ensuing Poem; and
in his Tristibus he cites these Lines, and pleads them in his Defence: But he is not over-honest in his
Profession; for in many Parts it appears, that his Instructions are calculated for much more than
concessa furtia.
[10] Andromeda was the Daughter of Cepheus King of Aethiopia and of Cassiope. Her Mother
having offended the Nereids, by contending with them for Superiority in Beauty, Neptune, at their
Petition, sent a Sea-Monster, which greatly annoyed the Aethiopians. Upon this they consulted the
Oracle of Jupiter Ammon, who ordered them to expose one of the Progeny of Cepheus and Cassiope
to be devoured by the Monster. Andromeda was accordingly ty'd to a Rock, where she was espied by

Perseus, who killed the Monster, and rescued the Lady; for which he received her at the Hands of her
Parents as his Reward. The Story is told in the 4th Book of the Metamorphosis.
[11] Bunches of Grapes in Methymna; a City of Lesbia, the Wine of which Country was famous
among the Ancients.
[12] Ears of Corn in Gargara; which was in Mysia, a Province of the Hellespont.
[13] The Original is, And the Mother of AEneas resides in the City of her Son. AEneas, from whom
the Romans derived their Original, was the Son of Venus by Anchises.
[14] The Original, rendered as literally as possible, is as follows: Walk at your ease under the
Pompeian Shade, when the Sun enters the Herculean Lion; or where the Mother hath added her
Benefactions to those of her Son; a work rich in foreign Marble: Nor avoid that Portico adorned with
ancient Pictures, which is called Livia, from the Name of its Founder: nor that adorned by the
Statues of the Belides, who attempted the Lives of their unfortunate Cousins; and where you see the
cruel Father standing with his drawn Sword: Nor pass by the Temple of Venus and her lamented
Adonis; nor omit the Seventh-Day Festivals of the Jews; nor the Egyptian Temples of the Linnen-clad
Heifer: She makes many Women to be that which she herself was to Jupiter.
To explain these several Particulars to an English Reader, it must be known, that the Portico's in
Rome were the publick Walks; and here Persons of both Sexes used to assemble. Among these was
one built by Pompey. The second Portico mentioned, is by the best Commentators understood of the
Octavian, which was built by Octavia, Sister to Augustus, and Mother to Marcellus; and this adjoined
to a Temple built by the same Marcellus. The third Portico was built by Livia the Wife of Augustus,
and called from her Name. The fourth, where the Picture of the Belides was, is to be understood of
the Portico of Apollo Palatinus, in which were the Statues of the fifty Daughters of Danaus and
Grandaughters of Belus. These being married to the fifty Sons of their Uncle AEgyptus, every one, by
her Father's Command, slew her husband on the first Night, save only Hypermnestra. For this they
were punished in the lower World, by being obliged to fill a Barrel full of Holes with Water. Scaliger
and others have here made a mistake, supposing the Picture of the Belides was here hung up: But the
contrary appears by many Authorities, particularly by this in Qv. Trist. 3.

Signa peregrinis ubi sunt alterna columnis,
Belides, & stricto barbarus ense pater.

It appears that the Number of Pillars was equalled by the Number of Statues. 5thly, The Temple of
Venus, in which she was worshipped, together with Adonis, after the Assyrian manner. This Adonis
was the Son of Cinyras King of Cyprus, begotten by him on his own Daughter Myrrha. The Fame of
his Beauty, and the Passion which Venus bore towards him, are well known. 6thly, The Jewish
Synagogues. The Jews having been encouraged by Julius Caesar, were very numerous in Rome at
that time; and the Strangeness and Pomp of their Ceremonies inviting the Curiosity of the Roman
Ladies, their Synagogues became famous Places of Intrigue. 7. The Temple of Isis. This Goddess,
when a Woman, was called Io. She was the Daughter of Inachus; and being beloved by Jupiter, was
by him, to preserve her from his Wife's Jealousy, turned into a Heifer, Juno suspecting the Fact,
obtained this Heifer of her Husband, and set Argus to watch over her. Jupiter wanting to visit his old
Friend, sent Mercury to kill Argus; in revenge of which, Juno ordered a Gad-Bee to sting the poor
Heifer; which thereupon growing mad, ran to Egypt, where she was again restored to the Shape of a
Woman, and married to Osiris. The Feast of Isis was celebrated in Rome ten Days together by the
Women, and was a time of Carnival among them.
[15] In Caesar's Forum, which was built on the Appian Way, was the Temple of Venus Genetrix.

[16] Races were run at Rome in April in the Circus Maximus, which was likewise the Scene of many
other public Exercises and Shews.
[17] And when the Procession shall pass on with the Ivory Deities, do you applaud most the Statue of
Lady Venus. Thus the Original. The Paraphrase preserves the same Sense, though in other
Circumstances. These Statues were carried in Procession on many Occasions, particularly at the
Maegalesian Games.
[18] Adjusting her cushion.
[19] Putting a Foot-stool under her.
[20] The Original mentioned the Fights of the Gladiators. The Paraphrase comes as near as our
Customs admit; for the British Ladies never attend to see Men kill one another in jest.
[21] Augustus Caesar among other rich Shews, with which he entertained the People, exhibited to
them a Sea-Fight in a Place dug on purpose near the banks of the Tyber. The Poet takes this occasion
of introducing many Compliments to the Grandson of this Prince. We have done little more than
altered Names in this Place; and as we are assured all here said is as properly applicable to the noble
Person to whom we have transferred it, the learned Reader will admire that any Passage in an antient
Author can be so apposite to the present Times, and the true English Reader will be no less delighted
to see Ovid introduced as singing forth the Praises of the British Hero.
[22] Parthia.
[23] The Crassi.
[24] Hercules.
[25] Bacchus.
[26] The Original here described the many Nations who are led Captives.
[27] Here we have inverted the Original; but sure the Sense upholds us in so doing.
[28] Baiae, a Place not far from Naples, famous for wholesome as well as pleasant Baths. It is
described very largely by Diodorus; and Horace mentions it as the pleasantest Place in the World.
[29] In the Original, the Temple of Diana in the Suburbs. It stood in a Grove not far from Rome. The
next Line, Partaque per gladios, &c. alludes to a very singular Custom, by which the Priests of this
Temple succeeded to each other, viz. by Conquest in single Combat, for which every Slave or
Fugitive was admitted to contend, and the Victor was rewarded with the Priesthood. This Practice
was renewed every Year, and was, as Strabo informs us, originally taken from the Scythians.
[30] Byblis fell in love with her Brother Caunus; and upon his rejecting her Addresses, hanged
herself. The Poets feign she was afterwards turned into a Fountain. See Metam. IX.
[31] Myrrha was the Daughter of Cinyras, who being in love with her Father, took an Opportunity,
while her Mother was employed in the Sacrifices to Ceres, to supply her Place. Her Father
discovering the Imposture, ran after her with a drawn Sword to kill her: But she escaped by means of
the Night, and fled into Sabeaea. She was changed into the Myrrh-Tree. The Story of which is in
Metam. X. But though the Poets have subjoined Fable to this Fact, it is related by Pliny as a true
History.
[32] Pasiphaë was the Daughter of the Sun, married to Minos King of Crete. The Poets feign that
being in love with a Bull, she employed Daedalus, a famous Artist, to make her a wooden Cow, into

which she conveyed herself, in order to enjoy her monstrous Desires. From this unnatural Coition
sprung the Minotaur, a Monster half Man and half Bull, which was enclosed in a Labyrinth, and
afterward destroyed by Theseus.
[33] The Original alludes to the Cretans, who were famous among the Antients for the Vice of lying.
[34] Europa was the Daughter of Agenor King of Cydon, beloved by Jupiter, and by him run away
with in the Shape of a Bull.
[35] AErope was the Wife of Atreus. She committed Adultery with her Husband's Brother Thyestes,
by whom she had two Sons, whom Atreus caused to be killed, and served up to his Brother's Table.
To avoid this Sight, the Sun is said to have gone backward.
[36] Scylla the Daughter of Nisus, King of the Megarensians, fell in love with Minos, while he was
besieging her Father's City. She stole away her Father's Hair, on which the Fate of the City depended,
and carried it to Minos; for which Fact she was rewarded by her Lover with Contempt only. She is by
some said to have been changed into a Lark: But Ovid, who here seems to confound two Stories
together, makes her Transformation to have been into a Rock, which lies between Sicily and Italy;
where the dashing of the Waves against the Rock representing the Sound of the Barking of Dogs,
gave rise to the Fable which is here hinted at.
[37] Clytemnestra, the Wife of Agamemnon, who in the absence of her Husband committed Adultery
with AEgysthus, and with him afterwards murdered Agamemnon, at his Return from Troy.
[38] Creüsa was the Daughter of Creon King of Corinth, and second Wife to Jason; to whom Medea,
enraged with Jason, who had forsaken her, sent a Casket in which Wild-Fire was inclosed, and by
which she was burnt as soon [as] it was opened. This Medea afterwards, on account of the same
Anger with Jason, tore to pieces her two Sons which she had bore to him.
[39] This Phoenix having incensed his Father, by lying with a Woman who was beloved by the latter,
fled to the Protection of Peleus the Father of Achilles, and was by bim [sic] Preceptor of that young
Hero.
[40] Hippolytus being beloved by his Stepmother Phaedra, and refusing to gratify her Desires, was
by her falsely accused to his Father Theseus; upon which account he was obliged to fly, and the
Chariot Horses being frighted by Sea-Calves, dashed the Chariot to-pieces, and him also.
[41] Phineus King of Arcadia, having repudiated his Wife Cleopatra, married Harpalice; by whose
Instigation he put out the Eyes of his Sons: for which he was afterwards punished by Divine
Vengeance with the Loss of his own.
[42] The Romans paid a Religious Regard to their Birth-Day, as appears from many Passages in their
Poets. At this time they used to receive Presents from their Relations and Acquaintance. We have
here given the Sense of the Original, only varying the Customs (Kalendae Martii.) Ovid advises the
Lover to abstain from visiting his Mistress in the Kalends of March. At which time the Matronalia
were celebrated to Juno Lucina, and the Husbands used to pray to that Goddess to protect the
Chastity of their Wives. Horace likewise Lib. III. Ode 8. hints that this was not the proper Season for
Batchelors to give a Loose to their Gaieties. (Sive erit ornatus Circus, &c.) A third Caution Ovid
gives, is not to visit on those Days when the Wealth of the Roman Conquests were exposed to the
Circus, in admiring which, as Mycellus observes, the Girls were too much taken up, to attend to the
Desires of their Lovers. To say the truth, some Custom seems to be alluded to here, which is not
sufficiently preserved from the Ruins of Antiquity.

[43] Then the Pleiades are at hand. Then the Goat is merged in the Sea, viz. in the Month of October
and November.
[44] The Original points at the Day in which the Romans were overthrown by the Gauls on the Banks
of the River Allia. This was the 15th of the Kalends of August. A. U. C. 363, and it was marked as a
black Day in their Kalendar. As this Nation is too happy to produce any such Day, we have been
obliged to give it a different Turn in our Paraphrase.
[45] Cydippe was a beautiful virgin of the island of Delos. She was celebrating the Rites of Diana
when she was seen by Acontius, who falling in love with her, and not daring openly to declare his
Passion, contrived to drop an Apple at her Feet, in which were inclosed these two Lines:

I swear to you by the mystical Rites of Diana,
That I will attend you as a Companion, and become your Bride.

Cydippe took up the Apple and read the Lines; by repeating which words they became her own; and
she was ignorantly betrothed to her Lover: For it was a Law, that whatever any persons said in
Diana's Temple, they were obliged to perform.
[46] Ariadne was the Daughter of Minos King of Crete. She fell in Love with Theseus, and with a
Clew of Thread helped him out of the Labyrinth into which he went to kill the Minotaur. He
afterwards basely deserted the poor Lady, of which our Poet will presently tell the Story.
[47] Silenus was the Pedagogue of Bacchus, and his Foster-Father: He was likewise his Companion
on all Occasions; and is often introduced in his drunken Mood by our Poet.
[48] At this Wedding Eurytion the Centaur getting drunk, attempted to ravish Hippodamia the Bride
of Pyrithous, but Theseus knocked his Brains out with a Bowl. Upon this a Battle ensued between the
Centaurs and the Lapithae, who defending the Cause of their Prince Pyrithous, destroyed almost all
the Centaurs. Horace Lib. I. Ode 18. mentions this Story likewise, as a Caution to Men not to be
quarrelsome in their Cups.
[49] Here and in many other Places, we have been obliged to supply that Connection, which is
greatly wanting in the Original.
[50] Phoebe and Ilaira were two pretty Girls, the Daughters of Leucippus, and by their Father
betrothed to two Brothers Idas and Lynceus; but before the Celebration of their Nuptials, were
ravished by Castor and Pollux. This ended in the Death of Castor, by the Hands of Lynceus; and of
Lynceus, by Pollux, whose Death while Idas was attempting to revenge, he was struck dead by
Thunder at the Feet of Pollux.
[51] Orion the Theban was in Love with Merope the Daughter of AEnopian; but who this Lyrice was,
is not so plain, no Mention being made of her in any other Place.
[52] Daphnis was the Son of Mercury; for his Love for this Naïs, we have here Ovid's Authority.

PUBLICATIONS OF THE AUGUSTAN
REPRINT SOCIETY
First Year (1946-47)

Numbers 1-6 out of print.

Second Year (1947-1948)

7. John Gay's The Present State of Wit (1711); and a section on Wit
from The English Theophrastus (1702).
8. Rapin's De Carmine Pastorali, translated by Creech (1684).
9. T. Hanmer's (?) Some Remarks on the Tragedy of Hamlet (1736).
10. Corbyn Morris' Essay towards Fixing the True Standards of Wit,
etc. (1744).
11. Thomas Purney's Discourse on the Pastoral (1717).
12. Essays on the Stage, selected, with an Introduction by Joseph
Wood Krutch.

Third Year (1948-1949)

13. Sir John Falstaff (pseud.), The Theatre (1720).
14. Edward Moore's The Gamester (1753).
15. John Oldmixon's Reflections on Dr. Swift's Letter to Harley (1712);
and Arthur Mainwaring's The British Academy (1712).
16. Nevil Payne's Fatal Jealousy (1673).
17. Nicholas Rowe's Some Account of the Life of Mr. William
Shakespeare (1709).
18. "Of Genius," in The Occasional Paper, Vol. III, No. 10 (1719); and
Aaron Hill's Preface to The Creation (1720).

Fourth Year (1949-1950)

19. Susanna Centlivre's The Busie Body (1709).
20. Lewis Theobold's Preface to The Works of Shakespeare (1734).

21. Out of print.
22. Samuel Johnson's The Vanity of Human Wishes (1749) and Two
Rambler papers (1750).
23. John Dryden's His Majesties Declaration Defended (1681).
24. Out of print.

Fifth Year (1950-1951)

25. Thomas Baker's The Fine Lady's Airs (1709).
26. Charles Macklin's The Man of the World (1792).
27. Out of print.
28. John Evelyn's An Apologie for the Royal Party (1659); and A
Panegyric to Charles the Second (1661).
29. Daniel Defoe's A Vindication of the Press (1718).
30. Essays on Taste from John Gilbert Cooper's Letters Concerning
Taste, 3rd edition (1757), & John Armstrong's Miscellanies (1770).

Sixth Year (1951-1952)

31. Thomas Gray's An Elegy Wrote in a Country Church Yard (1751);
and The Eton College Manuscript.
32. Prefaces to Fiction; Georges de Scudéry's Preface to Ibrahim
(1674), etc.
33. Henry Gally's A Critical Essay on Characteristic-Writings (1725).
34. Thomas Tyers' A Biographical Sketch of Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1785).
35. James Boswell, Andrew Erskine, and George Dempster. Critical
Strictures on the New Tragedy of Elvira, Written by Mr. David Mallock
(1763).
36. Joseph Harris's The City Bride (1696).

Seventh Year (1952-1953)

37. Thomas Morrison's A Pindarick Ode on Painting (1767).
38. John Phillips' A Satyr Against Hypocrites (1655).
39. Thomas Warton's A History of English Poetry.
40. Edward Bysshe's The Art of English Poetry (1708).
41. Bernard Mandeville's A Letter to Dion (1732).

42. Prefaces to Four Seventeenth-Century Romances.

Eighth Year (1953-1954)

43. John Baillie's An Essay on the Sublime (1747).
44. Mathias Casimire Sarbiewski's The Odes of Casimire, Translated
by G. Hils (1646).
45. John Robert Scott's Dissertation on the Progress of the Fine Arts.
46. Selections from Seventeenth Century Songbooks.
47. Contemporaries of the Tatler and Spectator.
48. Samuel Richardson's Introduction to Pamela.

Ninth Year (1954-1955)

49. Two St. Cecilia's Day Sermons (1696-1697).
50. Hervey Aston's A Sermon Before the Sons of the Clergy, (1745).
51. Lewis Maidwell's An Essay upon the Necessity and Excellency of
Education (1705).
52. Pappity Stampoy's A Collection of Scotch Proverbs (1663).
53. Urian Oakes' The Soveraign Efficacy of Divine Providence (1682)
54. Mary Davys' Familiar Letters Betwixt a Gentleman and a Lady
(1725).

Tenth Year (1955-1956)

55. Samuel Say's An Essay on the Harmony, Variety, and Power of
Numbers (1745).
56. Theologia Ruris, sive Schola & Scala Naturae (1686).
57. Out of print.
58. Eighteenth-Century Book Illustrations.
59. Samuel Johnson's Notes to Shakespeare. Vol. I, Comedies, Part I.
60. Samuel Johnson's Notes to Shakespeare. Vol. I, Comedies, Part II.

Eleventh Year (1956-1957)

61. Elizabeth Elstob's An Apology for the Study of Northern Antiquities
(1715).
62. Two Funeral Sermons (1635).

63. Parodies of Ballad Criticism (1711-1787).
64. Prefaces to Three Eighteenth-Century Novels (1708, 1751, 1797).
65. Samuel Johnson's Notes to Shakespeare. Vol. II, Histories, Part I.
66. Samuel Johnson's Notes to Shakespeare. Vol. II, Histories, Part II.

Twelfth Year (1957-1958)

67. Henry Fielding's The Voyages of Mr. Job Vinegar (1740).
68. Elkanah Settle's The Notorious Impostor (1692) and Diego
Redivivus (1692).
69. An Historical View of the ... Political Writers in Great Britain
(1740).
70. G.W., Magazine, or Animadversions on the English Spelling
(1703).
71. Samuel Johnson's Notes to Shakespeare. Vol. III, Tragedies, Part I.
72. Samuel Johnson's Notes to Shakespeare. Vol. III, Tragedies, Part II.

Thirteenth Year (1958-1959)

73. Samuel Johnson's Notes to Shakespeare. Vol. III, Tragedies, Part
III.
74. Seventeenth-Century Tales of the Supernatural.
75. John Joyne, A Journal (1679).
76. André Dacier, Preface to Aristotle's Art of Poetry (1705).
77-78. David Hartley, Various Conjectures on the Perception, Motion,
and Generation of Ideas (1746).

Fourteenth Year (1959-1960)

79. William Herbert, Third Earl of Pembroke's Poems (1660).
80. [P. Whalley's] An Essay on the Manner of Writing History (1746).
81. Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's Letters The Graces (1774).
The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette (1776).
82. Henry Fuseli's Remarks on the Writings and Conduct of J. J.
Rousseau (1767).
83. Sawney and Colley (1742) and other Pope Pamphlets.
84. Richard Savage's An Author To Be Lett (1729).

Fifteenth Year (1960-1961)

85-86. Essays on the Theatre from Eighteenth-Century Periodicals.
Selected,
with an introduction, by John Loftis. [double issue]
87. Daniel Defoe, Of Captain Misson and his Crew (1728).
Introduction by
Maximillian E. Novak.
88. Samuel Butler, Poems. Selected, with an introduction, by
Alexander C. Spence.
89. Henry Fielding, Ovid's Art of Love (1760). Introduction by Claude
E. Jones.
90. Henry Needier, Works (1728). Selected, with an introduction, by
Marcia Allentuck.

William Andrews Clark Memorial Library: University of
California

The Augustan Reprint Society
General Editors

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R. C. Boys
University of California,
University of Michigan
Los Angeles
Ralph Cohen Lawrence Clark Powell
University of Wm. Andrews Clark
California, Los Angeles Memorial Library

Corresponding Secretary: Mrs. Edna C. Davis, Wm. Andrews Clark
Memorial Library

The Society's purpose is to publish reprints (usually facsimile
reproductions) of rare seventeenth and eighteenth century works. All
income of the Society is devoted to defraying costs of publication and
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European subscribers should address B.H. Blackwell, Broad Street, Oxford,
England.
Publications for the fifteenth year (1960-1961)
Six items, most of them from the following list, will be reprinted.

Samuel Butler, Poems. Selected, with an introduction, by Alexander C.
Spence.
Daniel Defoe, Of Captain Misson and his Crew (1728). Introduction
by Maximillian E. Novak.
Eighteenth-Century Illustrations to The Faerie Queene. Introduction
by Ralph Cohen.
Essays on the Theatre from Eighteenth-Century Periodicals. Selected,
with an introduction, by John Loftis. [double issue]
Henry Fielding, Ovid's Art of Love (1760). Introduction by Claude E.
Jones.
Francis Hutcheson, Reflections on Laughter (1729). Introduction by
Scott Elledge.
Henry Needier, Works (1728). Selected, with an introduction, by
Marcia Allentuck.

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